Day 5. At Moms. And when I'm tired, I want to be left alone. Or maybe I just want to deal with my own. But today, yep, she wanted to "talk it out". Uh oh. I tried to hold in my temper, and just listen. Agree. But I have very little empathy for her. She's lonely. I get that. But I can't be her only outlet. We do everything together, I cant play at being BFF at the same time.
Yes, she has some pain, and I have empathy for that. Back pain is no fun! But that's not her only problem. She has terrible anxiety and leaves it at "that's just the way I am". I tried explaining to her calmly that there's nothing I can do for her anxiety. She has to focus her breathing, listen to music that calms her, stop the worries (in my opinion) but she says its nothing she can change.
And then it all changed. She cried for over an hour. I tried to talk her into the ER. She said no but then only cried harder. Fuck. This. Shit. Get dressed, we're going. That was 6pm.
I knew they'd "check her over" and give her morphine. Doesn't fix the problem, just temporarily relieves the pain. After 100mg of Tramadol plus her morphine shot, she still fights the sleep. Hell, when I got morphine, I relished the relief and slept to let my body heal.
They kept her overnight. She wanted to go home, but they took my word over hers. Keep her. That was 1am. I dragged my tired ass home and got 4 hours sleep. I was back at the hospital at 10, we finally got home at 1pm. They gave her a few prescriptions and she's all worried about it.
We don't communicate well. She wants me to fix things. I am not a doc or nurse. And she says "well it would help if you didnt always criticize me." At that point I was gritting my teeth and rolling my eyes, realizing we weren't going to get anywhere.
First words out of her mouth when we get home "all this ordeal and nothing is fixed."
Now its day 6 and no end in sight. She needs help. *sigh*
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