Was It You?

Dear Brian,

Last Sunday, I was doing my normal laundry, in and out of the garage with loads of laundry.

The orange extension cord still hangs on the hook of the workbench, and was hanging there the entire time I wandered in and out of the garage.   I finished up the last load of jeans, took it all to my room and put it all away. 

I was done with laundry and most of the chores, the last thing was to take a bucket of cans to the recycle barrel.  When I opened the garage door, I saw the extension cord extended across the garage floor!!  About 6 feet of it was stretched out toward the big garage door.  How in the world did that happen???   It wasn't there the whole time I was doing laundry ... I would have noticed that!  And it didn't get "caught on something" or it would have pulled inward toward the house. 

So my question is:  Was it you???

I also took your advice and bought some 3/8" quarter rounds at Home Depot, and painted them red.  I just need to tack them into place along the kitchen backsplash.  It's kinda kitschy but that's ok.  The rest of the cabinets are old and there's not much I can do to update them, so I settle on kitschy.  lol

It's time to change the furnace filter, and the batteries in the smoke alarms. 
and you're not here to help!

I bought a carpet cleaner, and had to put it together myself, because
you're not here to help!

There's a big hole in my life, and in my heart, where you used to reside. 
And nothing takes your place.

I miss you
every.
single.
day.
Love,
mom

Someone Special

Dear Brian,

Here it is, the first holiday without you.  Thanksgiving.  A day when you think about all the things you're grateful for.  It was hard to think about you -- you wouldn't breeze in the front door this year. 

Because I work retail, that means I worked on Thanksgiving day - just like the past 10 years.  But that doesn't mean it's a day that's like any other day.  It's still a day to be grateful, and still a day that is celebrated, even though it may be on some other day.  For me, it was Saturday.  And that was a very difficult day.  I sat on the couch, TV running, but it felt like I was waiting for that moment when you'd come home.  And it didn't happen.  Simple things made me sad, and I cried for a little while because I miss you very much.

It was a rough work day, the store was busy both Thurs and Friday.  And our new management team decided that we all needed to work a 10 hour shift on Thurs .... until 11 pm!  I am a morning person, so that didn't work so well for me.

I thought of you often during the holiday, and found a little poem:

Those we love don't go away

they walk beside us every day

unseen, unheard but always near

still loved, still missed, and very dear.

I used that on the last page of the annual calendar I create and print for family each year.  And I hope it helps the rest of them like it does me, to remember that you're always as close as can be, because you're my son and I love you.

Love,
mom