Got Stress?

What is stress? Some of Google's definitions include: a state of mental or emotional strain; difficulty that causes worry or emotional tension. And why do we get stressed? I asked WikiAnswers and got this: Stress results from problems which we find difficult or impossible to solve; such problems arise because life is tough. *slaps her forehead* well, duh! The next link on WikiAnswers was entitled "how do you handle stress". When I clicked the link, the page told me "This question has not been answered yet." LOL

So... what do we do about it?
Can we make it go away?
Do we just 'deal with it' til its gone?
Or does it ever go away?

I think the best answer to all of those question is: it depends. On our circumstances, what the stress is about, and how we each deal with different stresses differently. One of the things I've learned about myself is that I get stressed when to many things get backed up on my "To Do" list. Or when my desk becomes overwhelmingly piled up with papers and bills and etc. To combat that stress I have a little 'rule' I play in my head: if you touch it, you have to deal with it. So, one at a time, each paper gets dealt with, cleared up, put away, and soon my desktop is visible again! But that doesn't work well with every kind of stress.

There's stress at work; stress in relationships; stress within families. Those are the harder ones to deal with, because they almost always involve other people. And while we might be able to change our own viewpoints and attitudes, sometimes the stress is caused by someone else's actions.

Then there's the little stresses of regular life: the guy in the fast lane, driving too slow; the checkout person at the grocery store too slow; or someone who's there to help you, the customer, and is using a cell phone instead. Those are the little stresses in life that go away when we change our attitude, take a deep breath, and relax a little more.

I notice when I become stressed, I don't take time to blog, to share thoughts, or something that I found amusing. I also find that I don't have the patience to be out taking pictures around town (they can be seen here ). And when I don't use my creativity in any way, there's no outlet for the steam that builds up under stress.

I worked 56 hours this past week, and only have Sunday as my weekend. Of course, its going to be filled with all the mundane things in life: laundry, grocery shopping, house cleaning. On top of that, I have homework to do, and there's still some unpacking to be done, and a LOT of organizing left to do as well. (There's nothing worse than spending more time looking for something you need than the actual thing you're trying to do! Now where did I put that screwdriver..... ) I keep trying to tell myself that its OK, I can live with just the necessities, the house doesn't have to look "House Beautiful" in the first month! But I sure would like it to be more like "House PutAway", without the boxes and little piles of this, that and the other that's laying around, waiting to find a home. In the meantime, I'm just taking it one step at a time, trying to prioritize what needs to be done; but more important, I'm trying to make time for ~me~ as well. So I'm thinking an hour in the lawn chair in the sunshine, then a much needed nap before I tackle the rest of my day!!

What will YOU do for yourself today?

De-stressing HUGS to everyone!

Resolutions

Did you make a New Year's Resolution this year?? Every year, so many folks have good intentions, and sometimes a great resolution -- but how many of us follow through? Do we maintain it for the first month, then give up? Two months' worth, perhaps? If we're lucky, six months?

I tried to make my resolution simple this year: Spend less, do more. And had some interesting comments about it; someone asked me how I was going to do both. And I got to thinking: Do we really have to spend money in order to do something?? I guess some people think that way. Maybe I'm different. (ok ok, don't yell - I know I'm different!) Here are some options that I consider doing on a regular basis:

• Go to the library - Did you know they have more than just books?
• Find a local nature hike
• Take a walk in your local park
• Walk around your block and get to know your neighbors
• Read
• Check your local museum(s) for their free day(s) {Phoenix is 1st Friday of every month}
• Find out if your favorite thing to do has any specials: our local bowling alleys are very inexpensive on a Sunday morning!
• Find other early bird specials at local restaurants or movie theaters
• Tackle a project you've been putting off
• Digital photography isn't expensive if you already have a camera
  

No matter what your resolution is (or was), try and stick to it. If it gets forgotten, or left by the wayside, pick it back up; renew your self-promise and get a goal or two accomplished this year!!

HUGS to everyone!

Wet and Wild!

That's the best way I know how to describe how life has been here in AZ this past week as I get settled in to my new home! *giggles* But I was only referring to the weather in my topic! So get your mind out of the gutter.... (yeah, YOU!) Some crazy storms blew through here this past week. We had rain and wind and some hail, thunderstorm warnings and tornado watches!! Now those are rare here! Then we had rain, rain and more rain as well. I now know where the low spots are in my back yard. I know that when it rains my covered patio gets totally wet. And that I'll be doing some digging up of the yard this spring to level it out and keep the water away from the house. Sounds fun, right?

My fridge, washer and dryer arrived on Tuesday. NOW it feels like a real home. There's cold Diet Coke in the fridge, and ice cream in the freezer. If only the water in the door worked. I have to install a special T-fitting and didn't feel like dealing with that in the middle of the week with work and school going on.

Speaking of school, classes started for me on Weds. This class is Library Public Services. I have the same teacher as last semester. Which is good and bad. She like to assign a lot of reading of web pages. But she also knows half the class already from last semester, so it should be a good interactive class. Thankfully, its hybrid. We only meet five times, the rest of it is online only. The class meets on Weds from 7-9, which is kind of late for me to be heading to work at 5am the next morning. ugh. My other class doesn't start until Monday, and I'm not even sure what its called. lol Seems ages ago I signed up for classes. Ah well, we shall see!

As I await my books from Amazon, there are several little tidbits I need here: I seem to have lost or tossed the power cord to my Roland keyboard. Luckily {for me!} my son's stereo cord works, so all I have to do is confiscate that when I feel the need to tickle the ivories. The rest of the list? Well, we'll see what happens after this weekend as I attempt to find a place for everything and put everything in its place. Such joys! May all your joys this weekend be as good as mine... hehehe

HUGS to everyone!

Sunday was Moving Day !

Sunday, and time has rolled along, it cannot be put off any more, it is time to get things moved to the new house. Since I'm such an early bird, I was up at dawn and ready to roll; nothing is open that early, so I loaded the car with another load of things to go to the house, and drove over to drop it off. By that time, U-haul would be open. Luckily for me, with no reservation in hand, I was able to commandeer a 10foot moving truck. With only the big items to move, I thought for sure it would be a quick day of loading and unloading. How wrong I was!! As it is with kids, or is it boys? or men??? there isn't much foresight into doing the minor details before the big moving day. My bedroom was emptied except for the bed and dressers for a week now! And even though the plans to move here started back in December, there were still things that needed to be packed up on my son Brian's end. Needless to say, that is a very frustrating thing for me. I had to remind him that the truck was for one day, and we needed to move those big-ticket items (bed, dressers, etc) in the truck, and the rest of the crap had to wait til it could go in the car again. (are ya feeling my frustration??? lol)

Ok, maybe its me and my problem. Maybe I don't communicate very well. Maybe I don't give enough reason or explanation, or think my own formulated plans out loud. But it was barely two years ago that we went through this same thing .... not enough preparation to suit me!

Ahh well. I am writing this from my temporary desk on a folding table in my newly arranged bedroom. It will be odd sleeping in a new/strange room again. I tested out the shower controls -- nothing worse that being half asleep at 430am and not able to figure out how the shower works! Or worse, having to get my kid outta bed to come help me. LOL

I cannot get online from here until tomorrow (Monday) when they transfer my phone line for me which, btw, used to be a reasonable thing to do --- now its very costly!!! I was surprised. no, shocked! Guess everyone's looking for a way to pull in a few extra bucks right now. Which reminds me of something else: I spoke with maintenance today. He asked if i was moving because I didn't like living at Park Meadow. I liked it, I told him, but buying a house was a priority. We talked about housing prices and the deals out there right now. He asked if my mortgage payment would be less than rent. I said yes, much! He said that 2br apts were going for $650. Well, my renewal was asking $767!! wth? because I was a long term resident, and got into the apt when prices were good, they were going to keep me at that rate? rather than lowering it to the same price as the rest of the tennants? That seems like odd business practices. However, I know that its part of the working world as we currently know it. (done ranting)

It sure feels good to be in a house that I own. I'm still in shock in many ways. Hopefully, that will wear off soon :)

Time for me to get into a nice warm shower
to relax my tired, aching muscles;
get some clothes laid out for morning;
find the bag of morning hair/makeup accessories;
find the loaf of bread and peanut butter I brought with for breakfast;
find my purse with the keys, badge, glasses (and camera, of course);
{see the theme of things misplaced??? lol 8shakes her head* }
Can't wait to get the fridge, the washer and the dryer on Tuesday!

G'nite folks! from a happy home owner :) *HUGS*

Memories of a son

Dear Dougie:

While those of us you left behind
get busy with real life at times,
you are never far from our thoughts.
It only takes a simple reminder
to bring your smiling face,
your laughter,
your zest for life,
back into our minds,
stirring our hearts
with memories of you.

I know you're around,
watching over the ones you love;
I've felt your presence many times
when things weren't going right.

Thursday would have been your 21st birthday.
How would you have spent it?
Where would you go?
What would you do?

You were on my mind all this week.
I found a sticker that reminded me of you.
I stuck it on my garage wall
so that when I saw it, I would smile again.

I was opening an old box of things
that needed to be unpacked.
A picture fell out before I got the box open
Did you give it a push?
It's of you and Brian on a tractor
on our trip to Minnesota in 1999.
We had such a good time
(even with all the rain and wet sleeping bags!)

"Where you used to be,
there is a hole in the world,
which I find myself constantly
walking around in the daytime,
and falling in at night.
I miss you like hell."
~Edna St Vincent Millay

I will always love you, son.

Life's Purpose

Have you ever thought about why we're here? Is there something we're supposed to be doing?? The question about the purpose of life comes up often. And I can't help but wonder if we, as a whole people, "get it". Are we so busy on a quest to find an end result that we end up missing out on life??

I was doing some reading (here) and an excerpt jumped out at me....

"When speaking with Ochiaway Biano of the Pueblo Indians, this seemsm to come together most clearly:

"See," Ohicaway Biano said, "how cruel the whites look. Their lips are thin, their faces furrowed and distorted by folds. Their eyes have a staring expression: they are always seeking something. What are they seeking? the whites always want something; they are uneasy and restless. We do not know what they want. We do not understand them. We think they are mad."

I asked him why he thought the whites were all mad.

"They say that they think with their heads," he replied.

"Why of course. What do you think with?" I asked him in surprise.

"We think here," he said, indicating his heart."

Now, while that was a simple cultural difference, and I can see the valid point in all that, I'm not pointing fingers at just the whites. There are several other cultures that could be said about as well. But I did find valid thinking in what the old indian said: How many of us try to use reason and logic in finding an answer? While it's not a bad thing to use that, are we using the real logic and a thinking process? or are we coming up with conditioned thoughts and responses that we've been told all our lives?

When I Googled life purpose, I found a website that gave a solution in finding one's purpose "in 20 minutes or less" (and let's face it, this is a hurry up world, who can't afford to try 20 mins?):

"Here’s what to do:

1. Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it’s faster).
2. Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?”
3. Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
4. Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose."

I've often done this in the past, calling it "free writing" and just write whatever comes to mind. I haven't tried it for my purpose in life... but if you do? drop me a line and let me know. :)

No matter if you've already found your purpose, or are on your way to seeking a new purpose in life, think about the old indian's words, and don't just think with your head, think with your heart. For that's where you will find your true happiness!

HUGS to everyone!

and another week goes by....

It seems like there are never enough hours in the day. No matter how much I want to do, it just doesn't all get done. Feeling overwhelmed, there are moments when I wish I could just chuck it all, lay out next to the pool with a cold drink in one hand, and a good book in another. Although, frankly, I supposed I could do that! This entire week has been devoted to moving things from apt to house. What a chore. No matter how much we've taken, there's still more! I feel as if I'm existing on bare minimums ... everything that I don't think I'll need for the next month is over there, in boxes. Waiting for the rest of my furniture to arrive so I can reassemble my life again!

Today, we moved the entertainment center, and started to assemble it back together. The way I see if, if I have at least something put together, I can start emptying boxes! however, we got part way into re-assembly and realized we had left one of the smaller, but very key pieces, back at the apartment .... it figures! But, that also meant that I had an hour to kill doing something else productive. So I surrounded myself with the smallest of boxes (about 10 of them) and began unpacking them. These boxes had been packed up in 2002 or 2003, so this is the third move they've made without being unpacked. It gave me a great deal of pleasure to see this set of dishes. It's a pattern called "Linda" and my mom started collecting it for me when she went to antique stores and flea markets. It was made by Vernon Kilns, which was the name used by Vernon Potteries, Ltd. The company, which started in 1931 in Vernon, California, made dinnerware and figurines until it went out of business in 1958. I'm so grateful that nothing, not one piece! had broken or chipped in all the moving they've done. (Did I have some sort of premonition way back when about how far, and how many times, these things would be moved???)

Slowly, piece by piece, my new home is coming together. And it's a thrill every time something gets accomplished. I shopped for a fridge and a washer/dryer set. At first I was just looking for whatever was the cheapest to "get by for now". But hell, I'm Fifty and Fabulous! Why should I have to settle any more? It's not like I'll probably buy another set for years and years, so get what I want the first time around! So I did :) Can't wait for it to be delivered ... Monday :)

Hope everyone's 2010 is off to a great start ...
Remember: You can do anything you set your mind to do!

HUGS to everyone!

Welcome to 2010 !

Happy New Year to everyone, and may this be our best year ever!

2009 was a year for many changes for me. And even with all the bad news with the economy and stock market and the war(s) still going on, there are many things we can be grateful for. And many opportunities for making this a year to remember. Take the time to look around at the wonder of nature, the people in our lives, the things that enrich and sustain us. With a little gratitude, we sure can appreciate life's many splendid things!

Christmas didn't feel like Christmas for me this year. After closing on the house, it was time to get busy and make it move-in ready. It's difficult maintaining two homes and trying to be in the Christmas spirits at the same time. But, as I learned through divorce, Christmas isn't about the day, its the time you spend with your loved ones. Every other Christmas, for many years, I was alone. Through that, I learned to celebrate it when my kids were back home with me, no matter what the calendar date was. I can remember years where they'd come home and we'd do "the Christmas thing", and move right into the New Year's traditions, all on the same day! Nothing like waking up and having the traditional Christmas breakfast, complete with mimosas (darn! maybe THAT's what was missing this year!), having swedish meatballs for dinner, and then right into the new year's eve tradition of playing bingo and making our own ice cream sundaes to ring in the new year!

Celebrating on a different day is just what I did this year as well. My daughter and granddaughter came up that weekend and we celebrated Christmas in the new house. Granted, we sat in folding lawn chairs, and there wasn't much in the house besides the Christmas tree; but we loaded a pot of stew into the car, grabbed a good loaf of french bread, and we ate well then opened up gifts.

Ringing in the New Year was with more snoring than fireworks. LOL. Work the next morning makes it difficult to stay up til midnight. Besides, the neighbors here in the apt complex more than made up for my lack in the partying department. 'Nuff said. *grin*

Every day this week, we have taken a full car load over to the new house. My closets are empty, except for my work uniforms. About 80% of my kitchen stuff is already into the cupboards at the new home. And I'm looking at next weekend or the following weekend to be fully moved with all the furniture being moved with a U-haul, I suppose.

Before I become too lethargic and just want to sit around all day, I best be up and moving!

Happy New Year HUGS to everyone!