My (Step)Son

Moving to Ohio, I took on the task of raising my own two kids, along with his four. His were younger than mine.  We aren't supposed to have favorites, but Dougie had a way of touching a person's heart with his little ways, and a smile --- he always had a smile.  

When he was once suspended from school for some infraction I don't even recall, he had to help me with all the chores I do in a day while the kids are in school.  With a family of eight, there was ALWAYS laundry, dishes, cooking and cleaning to be done. He didn't complain the whole day.

He died in May 2008, and I just located a note I had received from him in April 2008.

i love you nnnnn! i would not be the man i am today if you had not been there to teach me how to have manners and be a gentleman. i still consider you my mom. you always will be.
i love you 
dougie

We had spoken on the phone a week before he died.  He was struggling with his decisions, and with getting in touch with his Dad.  I encouraged him to do so.  I don't know if he ever did. I hope so.

I had forgotten I'd kept this note -- then again, I tend to keep a lot of things..... 

Glad I found this one :)

Cleaning Up Files

My computer has long been my lifeline for a lot of things. One thing I do often is journal writing.  And sometimes, once written, it's lost and forgotten, almost as if it becomes acknowledged and I can let it go. It happens more often when I'm stressed, or some other kind of strong feeling.  I recently stumbled across some files from 2007, thought I'd share a little poetry I had written:

i sit

and feel nothing

but empty

when you're gone.

i wait

and feel hopeful

you will

return to me.

i smile

and feel joy

when i 

think of you.

i dream

and feel love

for the

man you are.

i love

and feel warmth

surround and

infuse itself within.

©LD.Poetry2007

And now I have about 40 more files to go through, figure out where it should be stored. I started this quest of locating the beginnings of a novel .... and I've found three different files, some of the versions were revisions, so back to editing and arranging, and maybe completion!