Sex and what city?

I have been awake for hours already, and its only 930. I woke to the sounds of birds, for some reason, at 5am ... much too early to be awake on a rainy Sunday morning! But there I was, wide awake and nothing to do. As much as I'd like to say I found something to do ... I didn't. What I wanted to do was get up and write, but I had this strange fear, or was it dread?, of what I might write about at that ungodly hour of a weekend. So instead, I did something that could be construed as worse!?! ---- I vegged out for the past four hours on episodes of "Sex and the City".

Ok, ok, my Prof would tell me that TV is bad for the psyche. But I couldn't seem to help myself. At times, I'm drawn to the character Carrie, who incorporates her writing into the show with cliche'd lines like "Are we 34 going on 13?" (The episode concludes that we aren't, but that its not a bad idea to have a few 13 yr old moments in our grownup lives). "Can you ever really escape your past?" ; "Are we getting wiser or just older?" ; "Is there such a thing as relationship karma?" Yeah, when it comes down to it, pointless pondering questions without real answers. But I think the appeal of the whole thing is how women are built: We like to question and analyze and figure out all the in's & out's. Not that I understand why. It just seems to be necessary to our psyche.

I guess it doesn't really matter; we go through relationships, through life, and even if or when it turns out bad, hopefully we learn something along the way that we can apply to whatever comes our way next.

Isn't it amazing how much more rational our thoughts are in the light of day as opposed to the dark early morning hours? *grin* I probably should have just gotten up and written, gone back to bed and actually slept again. I might have been better off!

HUGS to everyone!

Simple things

What is it about the simple things that change our whole outlook and the way we feel? It's a typical Saturday morning, and I'm off to get my haircut today. Nothing unusual, but because I was ready a little bit earlier than I needed to be, I foraged through my jewelry box and dug out my ruby rings, watch and simple bracelet. Once I slipped them on, it seemed like there was a subtle change in how I felt, and what I did. I made my bed, straightened up and made sure things were back in their proper places (well, as proper as they can be since I'm still trying to fit myself in to this new house thing!) I turn and glance back into my girly looking bedroom that's all neat and straight and wonder .... is this me?

As I drove home from my hair appointment, breeze blowing in the window and flipping the marvelous 'do Erin gave me, I got to thinking about why I was feeling different today, because I don't usually feel anywhere near "amazing" when I go to work every day. And in my job where dirty is more common than not, lately I have dressed for that. Well, when you dress for getting dirty, like working in the back yard, you don't pay attention to the other details either: jewelry, makeup and hairdo. But -- we're women! We need that, its part of who we are. Or maybe its more that's what the media has done for being a woman. We're marvelous people on the inside, but having that show on the outside is important, too.

Think about all those great clothes you probably have in your closet. Are you saving them for some "special occasion"? Like me, do you put on the oldest, the things that don't matter, because you might get them dirty? I have things in my closet I haven't worn often for just that reason. And frankly, they will more than likely be out of style the next time I have an "occasion" to wear them again. So why wait? Get them out, wear them, enjoy them! That's probably why you bought them in the first place! "...as on the stage or silver screen, sometimes becoming a star in your own life is only a matter of a costume change." (Sarah Ban Breathnach)

Simple HUGS to everyone!!

"Elegance is in the brain
just as well as in the body and in the soul."
~Gloria Guinness

What do you think ? (a story)

It's a typical Tuesday morning. She gets up and gets ready for work, grabs her purse, her keys and heads out the door. Ooops, its Tuesday, and the garbage man comes today, and the can isn't out at the curb. Normally, this doesn't phase her, and she just cruises on to work. But today, an inner voice told her to go back and get the can out to the curb. Of course, as it is with most logical people, she begins an internal argument about being late for work; but the inner voice wins out and she scoots the can to the curb before climbing in to her car and begins the morning commute.

She drives the same route she's been driving for two years now. It's still winter, so the sun hasn't begun to climb in the sky and everything is still pitch black. All of the streets are familiar to her, as well as the buildings she passes. She approches an intersection and glances off a little to the left. Just over the top of the corner gas station, she sees something different. At first, what registers to the logical mind is a tall building, and it appears as if there's a fire inside, the windows red and glowing, almost pulsing. Adrenaline kicks in as awareness of her surroundings begin to listen for the inevitable sirens. But there's nothing to be heard! As her gets closer, another car speeds up and zooms around hers. Hey buddy, don't you see that tall building's on fi--- wait a minute, there are no four or five story buildings in this area! What the heck???

She continues on her commute, but her mind is still arguing with itself over what she saw. Should she circle back? Make sure there's not a fire? She rolls down her window, assuming if there is one, she should be able to smell smoke... and nothing. The chilly air slaps her face and she wonders if she's been day dreaming on her way to work? By this time, arriving late for work is more than likely inevitable, but if there are people in danger....... She whips into the left turn lane to circle around the block to take another look. And by the time she gets there: nothing. Everything seems in its own place, and nothing untoward is going on. Huh.

As she drives on into work, knowing she's going to be late, she can feel her mind working over what just happened. She doesn't try to think thoughts, just lets the random thoughts float in and out of her consciousness. After parking, she grabs her purse and briskly walks into the building to the time clock to get started on her day. How odd? It's only 5:44 and she has to wait a minute before she can actually clock in. "How did that happen?" she wonders to herself, running the times through her head again. Alarm clock snooze pushed twice, so not up and moving til 4:55am. Makeup. Hair curled. Lunch made. Take out the garbage can. A few extra blocks circled.... damn. *blink*blink* This is unusual.

The woman she works closely with on a day to day basis has a history of having some "sight" -- sometimes auras, sometimes future snippets, but more of her 'talent' is centered on the astrological aspect. (At least, from what's been said and gathered in past conversations.) Trying to put it out of her mind and focus on work, she gets busy and starts the work day. Strangely, its a quiet day. The other woman, who usually chats on and on, is strangely silent. Is this the silent treatment for something? It isn't until looking back that she begins to wonder if the other gal could see or sense something as being different today?

This isn't the first time something strange or unexplainable has happened. And she can't wait to get home and write it down, to share with her friend who will understand, and not think she's gone off the deep end!

What do you think ?

Sweet Hearts

Way back when, back in the olden days, Valentine's Day was a day for giving out boxes of conversation hearts. You could count on them saying "hug me" , "kiss me" , "cutey". You could give them to cute boys and send little messages that really say "I like you". (Do you remember the first time you gave them to someone YOU liked???)

I opened up a box of them today, and found even conversation hearts have moved into the 21st century with phrases like "wild child" , "chicks rule" , "just dance" and "text me" on them! Text me?? wow -- 10 years ago, it might have been "page me" , but kids didn't have pagers.

Life sure moves along fast these days!

low, slow HUGS to everyone!

Women don't sit down...

Why is it that we come home from work with the best intentions to do a few things on our TO DO list, only to find ourselves sitting down, and relatively vegging out... which of course leaves our TO DO list for tomorrow...... *sigh*

It was my goal to come home and get some things done today:

1. put away the laundry (check)
2. clean out the purse (check)
3. clean off the top of the desk
4. work in the yard
5. empty the dishwasher
   
6. start homework {and maybe even finish homework!}

*sighs again*

And here I sit, computer at the ready, and its all I can do to move from screen to screen checking email, MySpace and FaceBook. (maybe I wasn't the only one with a complaint; I see they've made changes again!)

These short little three hour windows to get a complete list done is sometimes daunting, and rather than start something that can't be finished, we would rather not start at all. In all honesty, I'd just as soon cook dinner, take a shower, grab a book (along with my dinner) and curl up in a chair to read, and keep an eye on the Olympics.

But for busy women of the 21st century, we're too busy to "just do that". Have we taken a wrong turn somewhere? Why is it that women don't sit down and take a half hour (or more!!) for themselves? Ignoring our passions, our wants, our desires, can make women self-destructive. Yes, there's time to make time for ourselves, to do the things we enjoy! Give yourself permission to indulge in something for YOU today! I think I'm going to start dinner, hop in the shower, curl up with a book ..... (yep, you get the idea!)

HUGS to everyone!

Forgotten Piano Talents

When I was young, around 8 years old, my parents bought a piano. An old wooden upright piano from a school my Aunt Shirley worked at. It was banged up, and painted many times over. My parents took it apart piece by piece, stripping it, sanding it, staining and varnishing it to a high gloss. When it was done... it was parked in my bedroom. Mind you, this thing was 5 feet long, nearly 3 feet deep and probably 5 feet high; my bedroom was only 10x10! It took up a good chunk of real estate! My mother then proceeded to find someone to give me piano lessons. And I dutiful began learning to play. (and yes, I hated the recitals!) As time went on, the piano teacher moved away, and it was time to find another.

Both my sister and I took lessons from another teacher. She was a cute blond, and I was envious when her boyfriend came over and sat in on the lessons. I was also as nervous as all get out, because by this time, I was in my teens and very conscious of boys! Eventually, I gave up on the lessons with this teacher. I didn't seem to be making any more progress. Or maybe my interest was going in other directions: boys, learning to drive, boys, dances, boys, football games, boys. Did I mention boys? lol

Over time, I let my love of playing get away from me. The piano had also moved from my room into the family room. After marriage and kids and real life, I picked up a simple Casio keyboard, and tinkered. But it wasn't the same as playing a real piano. Somewhere in my 30's, I got a Roland full size keyboard, with weighted keys and a few digital options. It was state of the art for its time! And I played, picked up where I had left off, and started taking a piano class at the local junior college. I was a little further ahead than "beginning" and the teacher pushed me to take on some different, more complex pieces. (yes, I balked, thinking I couldn't handle something too advanced!) But again, perseverance paid off and I fell in love with playing all over again.

In the meantime, Mom had decided it was time to get rid of the albatross.... errr... piano, as it was taking up too much room and no one was playing it. And since I was the 'player' in the family, it became mine. I moved it all the way to Ohio with me, and parked it in the living room there. And played. So did the kids. It was fun to tinker, and hear it being played. I also had moved my keyboard with me, but never set it up. I left that albatross when I moved out, and moved on. In fact, when I moved to Dayton, then moved again to Arizona, at neither place did I have the keyboard set up so I could play it. (My son had it in his room to tinker with for a while.)

And now, I have a home, and my keyboard is set up in what I thought would be an "office". It has since evolved into a music room. Today, I had some free time and sat down and began to play again. I started off slow, with things from my school days, and a few simple tunes. I played the song I played for my first recital: Blowin' in the Wind. And Whispering Hope. Then I turned the pages to Handel's Largo: the song I learned for recital in jr college. What I'm amazed at is how the fingers remember where to go, even when the eyes can't quite remember note is on which line. It came rushing back in a flood of exhilarated memories that I can still play!! With that in mind, I will be taking some time to tune up, practice my craft, even if it never gets beyond the pleasures I get from playing.

What talent(s) did you have growing up?
Have you continued with any of them?
If not, then I suggest giving an old pleasure a chance
to bring some simple joy into your life!

not so talented but fun HUGS to everyone!

Valentine's Day isn't only for lovers.....

oh wait .....
there is something about today .....
ok I know now .....
Happy Valentines Day!!
(thanks PROF! xoxox)

This is another one of those holidays that movies and the media emphasize having "someone special" in your life (as if we're NOT special already!). And on this "most romantic day of the year", we don't need to be depressed. Look at it as an opportunity to to treat yourself! Use the good dishes, make a nice meal, add a scrumptious dessert! You could even set the table with fresh flowers, add some candles, use your crystal glasses, pour a glass of wine, add some of your favorite music --- in other words, treat yourself, celebrate YOU!

Don't forget to take the vase of flowers into your bedroom so they're the first thing you see in the morning, to remind you how wonderfully special YOU are!

And, if you happen to have a little dessert left over,
have it for breakfast...
Indulge yourself! and make it a great day!

If that isn't enough to convince yourself that you're special, here's a more realistic quote on love:

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird,
and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours,
we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness
and call it love.
-Author Unknown

Valentine HUGS to everyone!

What's in yours....?

Life has a way of going by too quickly - and our time is often spent leaving little piles of clutter behind as we go about being our busy selves! So I'm asking today: What's in your desk drawer?

After The Big Move from apartment to house, it seems I have spent more time looking for things than actually doing what needed to be done with the thing I was looking for. As I find time in between life's busy moments, I tackle one more small area that needs to be cleaned out. Tonight, it was the top drawer of my desk. When was the last time you took a good look at yours? Why is it that we seem to accumulate so many things in that one little space? And what's with all the writing instruments? I have a cup on my desk full of pens, and another complete collection in the drawer. What strikes me funny about it is this: I am a geek, a computer guru, ok, I admit it, I'm a nerd! I do 99% of everything on my computer. If I can't find a way to type it..... heck, I seem to find a way to type everything except the rare check I have to write because I don't want to set up a one time payment on bill pay!! So what's with the need for all the pens and pencils and markers?? One of each should be more than sufficient!

The same goes for paper... especially paper that doesn't fit in my printer! Granted, I like really good looking paper to print on. I love the preprinted borders and such readily available to fit in my printer and give my writings a snazzy look. But the rest of it? I have blank note cards in my drawer that I've had for (thinking hard.... I'm guessing about eight years?) Goodness knows I can't imagine that I'd need all these! OK, ok, I have to admit, I think a hand written note or card is one of the nicest things I can get in the mail. But the geeky side of me also understands how busy everyone else can be, and think that even if its typed and printed, the thought is there if I get a letter that way.

So, with those thoughts in mind, my goal tonight is to get that drawer cleaned out; maybe I'll take some of the extra pens and markers to work so they'll get used. Who knows what I'll find at the bottom of this drawer, or any of the others: Maybe a really great old love letter, or a missing $10 bill; a good luck penny or rabbit's foot; vintage pictures. Any of those finds just might bring back some really great memories... and for certain, having the drawer(s) organized again might bring a little more peace and/or harmony to my crowded mind!

HUGS to everyone!

boycotting FaceBook

I get tired of all the changes FaceBook has made. I don't mind "upgrades" when they make things better. But this new FB format, I don't like at all. I'm not one who has a ton of friends. However, the ones I do have tend to respond to their friends' status updates. So my screen is full of things like: "Melanie likes Mary's status". I don't get to see Mary's status... just that Melanie likes it. Then there are status updates of friends who have become friends with other people I don't know. I'm glad my friends have other friends? but I don't need to see every click of the mouse that they make. And I'm not sure my friends want to see every friend I add to my files either.

The only way around some of this is to put a whole person on "hide". And frankly, why be friends with someone if you're only going to hide their activity because it fills up your screen with things that aren't relevant?

Usually, I just roll with the punches on programming changes. But this time, no. In fact, I even went so far as to comment to FaceBook folks about how I feel about these changes. Will my tiny voice be heard? Probably not. Do I feel better for speaking out? You Betcha!

So, if you're a FaceBook friend and wondering where I am? Now you know....

outspoken HUGS to everyone!

Love and Romance

Women often confuse love and romance. It seems to take years to understand the difference. At least, it did for me. While the two of them often go hand in hand, they're not the same. Love is the emotion; Romance is the expression of love. Romance reveals depths of those feelings. You may feel the love in an e-mail, but when a woman receives a handwritten letter, she's being romanced. One of my favorite authors put it this way:

If love is dessert,
romance is a pear tart with apricot sauce.
If love is a dance,
romance is a tango.
If love is a trip,
romance is a ride through the park
on a bicycle built for two!

Woman may want and need love, but they crave romance. So what do we women do? Sit around waiting for our man to "get it"? Or wait for "Mr Right" to come along? He might, but then again, he might not.

This doesn't have to stop you. Married or single, for the rest of this glorious year, I say let's woo ourselves! Let's come to our senses and let Life sweet us off our feet. Find an earthly pleasure and indulge ourselves! What inspires you? the fragrant breeze wafting out of a chocolatier? Watching a musician play a passage? Riding in a fast car on a sunny day with the top down? the buttery softness of a new pair of leather gloves? Biting into a liquer-filled chocolate? Discovering another book by your favorite author?

You're probably thinking this is nuts; that your daily bump n grind ain't no Paradise. But... what if it is? what if you helped it along, to do those things that bring little pleasures into the small corners of our lives? Think of something that gives you a great deal of pleasure. And when it comes time to do that thing, think bigger than life, think Hollywood! and how they would pull it off with some of the great stars. If you're having a glass of wine, have it in a fancy glass! Put your chocolates on a fancy plate. Or take a bubble bath, but add the candles, the glass of wine, or even the plate of chocolates! It's OK to indulge your senses... just think of it as romancing yourself. Your outlook may never be the same :)

HUGS full of romance to everyone!

When an officer falls....

"The community is invited to honor slain Gilbert Police Lt. Eric Shuhandler" and tonight as I was on my way home, I was caught in the traffic caused by parade of police cars. Luckily, I was in a place to stop the car, get out and watch the procession. It was a sad day for those of us in Gilbert, Arizona. I stood in sadness, and in awe.

"Lt. Eric Shuhandler, 42, a 16-year veteran with Gilbert, was shot and killed Thursday during a traffic stop in a shopping center parking lot. He suspected the pickup truck's passenger of being wanted on an outstanding warrant." (EVTrib) (a shopping center I sometimes frequent.)

My heart goes out to the family he leaves behind.

Lord bless these heroes;
Who have given their lives.

Comfort their children;
Their husbands and wives.

Let us not forget;
They have given their all.

Let the bugle be silent;
Let no more heroes fall.

(poem by Anonymous found here)