30 Day Challenge

Back in mid December, I started a 30 day challenge to listen to KLove while in my car. Its the place I do music;  I succeeded and surpassed this challenge, I'm still listening to KLove.  And I like it! 

But here is what struck me.  Some people can be vocal about their beliefs, to pray out loud.  I was raised in the Lutheran Church by parents who are not vocal about beliefs, or many other things.  It was the one thing I admired about my Aunt Margie, she could speak right up.   

Like my parents, I hold my religion close inside, its too personal to share.  But when you walk with Jesus, its hard to hold it in.  One of the songs on KLove that speaks to me goes:

Step by step, day by day
Lead me on, Lord I pray
Road gets dark, walk by faith
Lead on, good shepherd

No matter where you are in your walk of life, if you are searching for more, take it step by step, day by day, just like the song says.  It works.  

Obituaries

You know you've reached a certain age when you find yourself reading obituaries.   Of course, a lot of that has changed with social media.  In small towns, you read them in the local paper.  Now everyone is so scattered! 

All that to say that today I learned my fried Helen died on March 16.  It wasn't until today that my friend Tracy noticed it on Facebook and messaged me.  Talk about shocked!

Her services were yesterday, I was off work and would have been there had I known.  Which brings me to another thought.  Reach out, keep in touch with your friends.  Life is short! Too short to say "maybe tomorrow I'll....."   do it today.

Rest in peace, Helen.

Family Dinner

Growing up, my parents were adamant about dinner on the table at 5, every one sits down and eats together.  Without the TV on.... which wasn't a big deal in the 60s/70s because there weren't very many stations to choose from, and at 5pm, it was all news. 

We would get into our rituals ... one summer every day after dinner we watched Land of the Giants together. Which was an odd show to watch as a family.  lol

As I had children of my own, I continued the tradition of eating as a family.  Many meals consisted of giggling children,  but they're good memories.

Now that I'm older, if I eat alone, then yes, its with the TV on.  But on Tuesdays, its family dinner night at my mother's.  My nephew and his kids come over.  We have a good time playing different games!

Its nice to have a tradition that continues through the generations!  

KEEN Country

I grew up in Santa Clara,  part of the San Francisco Bay area.  My folks bought a house and lived there nearly 60 yrs!  And they were country music fans. I was raised listening to the best:  Tammy Wynette, George Jones, Loretta Lynn, Conway Twitty, and of course Johnny Cash.

We listened to them on KEEN country, 1370 on your AM dial.  Or as they liked to say "too damn country for FM".  hehehe

When I was about 10 or 11, I was at the kitchen table (doing homework, probably), the KEEN DJ announced, be the 9th caller to win.  So I jumped up and dialed.  Busy.  Dial again.  Congrats, you're the 9th caller!  Being under age, I couldn't win so I had to holler for my dad -- he was across the street visiting with the neighbors.   Turns out, I won a Sonny James album!  And that win entered dad's name into a drawing; he ended up winning a slide projector!  

I look back and realize how much that country music influenced me and my life.  What we hear, or listen to, becomes a part of our very being.  Choose wisely! 

Soup for Stress

With the upcoming changes in my job, along with a major remodel in my store, the added stresses have knocked down my immune system and I've caught yet another cold.  The stresses also cause me to sleep poorly; I am SO ready for changes!!

We had more spring rains last night, which is refreshing,  cleans the air, and the smell of wet creosote bushes is ... like no other smell.  

I had a few thoughts on grief last night.  When I got divorced, there was some grief.  Its not the kind where a loved one has died, but it is grief nonetheless. We grieve for the end of a marriage,  for being without the person we loved.  But we also have some grief over what our heart believed the marriage would be, the expectations and continuity of how we perceived our life going.  Its not always easy to left the grief go.  But we change and move on as best we can.

Looking forward to quitting time and some comforting chicken noodle soup to round out this day.  

12 days to changes! 

Taco Salad & Friends

Last spring, my friend and coworker decided a change was needed in order to improve her life.  She left my store and transferred to one 2 hours from here and went to live with her daughter.  I've missed her and today she was back in the Valley, so we agreed to meet for lunch.  

In her usual fun, quirky way, she said let's meet at Serranos on McKellips.  No problem,  see you at 11.  I waited, she didn't show. I got worried she had car trouble.  But at 5 after, she called, said I'm waiting out front.  Funny, I replied, I'm here out front too!   Turns out that she's been gone a while, forgot the name of the road, she was at a different location.  I caught up with her 15 mins later and we got all caught up over a chatty lunch of chicken taco salads.  Yummy!!!!

Reminded me of how many taco bell salads I ate because my son loved taco bell.  We would head for the library every Thursday for books, movies, CDs, then stop at the local Bell for dinner.  That's when I switched to eating taco salads.  I can only eat so many tacos.  lol

Good times, good memories

Remembering

When you get to be my age, you tend to do a lot of remembering.  But how often are we in a situation, something that's creating a memory and we think, "man! I'll never forget this!!"  And yet, somehow we do.

Major events like the day we got married, have a child, its easy to remember the day, the majority of it, but the details seem to scatter away, like leaves on a windy day.

That's how I feel now about other things as well.  Its been 16 years since I moved to Arizona.  Thats a chunk of time! And yet I still feel as if I just got here.  Its been 14 years since I bought my house.  And this year it will be 5 years since my son died. 

Sometimes I think its easier to remember things when you have someone else around who shares your memories.  You mention one aspect of a memory and the other person remembers a different detail and the memory becomes almost alive between you in those moments.  

But its difficult for me remembering my son.  He was my compadre,  we did so many things together!  Some days, the memories are so strong, and with time, other memories seem to be fading.  I try not to let them by journaling.  When I have a memory come to mind, I try to take note of it, and write it down so that I don't forget.  

Today I was remembering how we decided to take a full moon hike in The White Tank Mtns.  It was led by a ranger, there were about 30 of us, and it was pretty nice!  We got there a little early.  I looked over and there was this beautiful rock.  I had to have it, and my son, being the good kid he is said "open the trunk, I'll toss it in."  Its still in my front yard, I don't think I could lift it, as its not a small rock!!! 

Such a small memory, no momentous occasion, no special day, just a gal and her son on an outing that was spur of the moment.  

Sometimes those are the best memories.  Hang on to them!

Old Guy Day

Today was one if those days.  The retired fellas all came shopping today.  They aren't in a hurry, but looking for bargains.  That means they're hanging out in my clearance aisle.   Which is OK, shop all you want!  

Except today.  I have a lot on my plate to get completed, and they stand there, looking, and I can't get my tasks completed. (Which explains why I'm standing here blogging!)

Men read everything on the package.  Women open things ..... ugh .... maybe because women are visual.  

Sure makes a long day when you have to wait. And smile. And wait some more! lol

Spring Colds, Clean Sheets

There's nothing worse than having a cold, no matter what time of the year it is.  Last week, I caught a doozy!!  

Usually I just plow through work, cold or no cold.  If its bad or catchy, I wear a mask, but I still keep working.  After all, my theory is I can get paid for work, or stay home, but it usually doesn't change the symptoms of a cold. 

Last week, the coughing was so bad, I called in sick.  A week later, and I still have some lingering coughs.  Thankfully, its better. 

But today,  after being sick for a week, its clean sheets days.  After I was my sheets, I dry them until they're just a tad damp.  I love stretching them across the bed damp. I turn on the overhead fan, and by bedtime they are not only dry, they feel crisp as if they've been ironed!  And yes,  I'm old enough to remember when sheets were the old type of cotton where they wrinkled badly, and mom ironed them.  But who has time for that now?? Not me!  

So here i am, thankful my cold is abating and enjoying my crisp, fresh sheets!

Sweet dreams!

Fitbit Humor

I wear my Fitbit every day, since 2015.  Every now and then, 

it captures something .... odd.

Today, there was an overstock recall on some ladies' undies.  I had a huge shopping cart full (there were 211 items).  Each one has to be scanned and boxed individually because of the different UPCs. 

When I got home, my Fitbit app congratulated me on a 22 minute swim!! Um, I was at work, no way I was swimming.  Thats when I realized that my movement of reach in cart, pick up item, scan and place in box must have seemed repetitive enough that it seemed I was swimming!!  Lol 

Some days, its a little strange  ... but ok!!

Irony

Yesterday, I told my boss I want to step down from being a leader.

Today, I am in a 4 hour class on how to be a better leader.

Yep.  Irony.

*laughs*

Bad Bosses

We all have or had jobs.  And unless you're self employed, we've all had bosses, some good, some bad.  I'm my 20+ years at my BigBoxStore, I have had a lot of bosses.  Each of them different, some better than others.

And then there's that one kind ..... ugh.  I have a boss who wants to be the smartest person in the room, and wants everyone to agree with that.  Yeah. That's not me.  And I get that "stinkeye" look when I question something.  And have gotten complaints when I'm not one of those fake sugary girls who doesn't play along with the small talk that seems to be expected.  When someone asks how are you? Are they really wanting to know?  Usually not, so why fake it??  Besides, if I'm not ok, do i want to admit that to a boss??? Nope.

I started this post because in my eval, I was told that this boss wants to be rid of me and my supervisor because we don't play along with the game.  *sigh*  Good thing I'm close to retirement.  This may move it up rapidly.

How much avoiding can I do until I make up my mind?  Or should I be looking to transfer to another position? Another store? These lovely thoughts sure ruined my Friday!

One thing for sure, less energy spent on going above and beyond for these folks.  While I like the people I work closest with, the rest of them don't deserve the extras that I do.  

Time to put me first.