Busy Busy Busy!

I know I haven't blogged in a bit, but dang, it's getting tough writing about my math woes all the time! Sadly, that's pretty much consumed my off-work hours. It's going semi-well, which is good, I suppose, for a crunched class. I took a couple vacation days from work, but it turns out that we're having special HazMat inspections on those days. So.... I'm compromising, going in for the inspection on Monday at 2pm, then working Tuesday, and taking Wednesday instead. Since I didn't have concrete plans (and who needs them when its going to be over 106 all week!), not such a big deal to me. That spreads out my time off, more time for.. yep, you guessed it.... Math. Midterm next week. but that also means I'm halfway done! :) :) In the meantime, I've been having oddddd dreams again, sometimes two a night. Problem with all that dreaming is I wake up and don't feel rested. I know they say dreaming is when you're getting your REM sleep. But jumpin jehosephat! when you fall asleep and wake up from a dream, feels like you've been asleep for hours, and its not even midnight yet... makes for a long night! I was so tuckered out yesterday that I figured I'd take a nap... and dreamt then too!! 

I needed a breath of fresh air, so I took a drive down the freeway, congested closed-in freeway with off ramps. It's not a good part of town. I parked my car along the street in a residential neighborhood that seemed ok. Then got in another car and drove it a mile up the freeway to the next offramp and parked in a parking lot. I was in a strange neighborhood, so I wandered in to the nearest building, which seemed to be some kind of doctor's office. But it wasn't usual doctoring; each of the rooms was set up more for kids to play and be observed (maybe psychiatric type?) and in one room is a handsome doc and a small boy and this is the room I stopped in. Because he was friendly, the doc I mean. I explained I was a bit lost, and needed to get back to my car. But he proceeded to start explaining things -- about chimps and people, how things work, why we do the things we do, all the while he's watching this boy play with things. A couple of times, I interrupted his explanations, saying I needed to go get my car, it was a mile back down the road, before it gets dark. Time was passing quickly, and I needed to go, so I grabbed my purse and fumbled for my keys (as usual, they were on the bottom!) and headed for the door. The doc stopped me and kept talking to me, said he'd walk me out, took me by the arm, and headed me and the boy out the door. When we reached my car, I climbed in the driver's seat, and he leaned in the back door, putting the boy in the back and buckling his seat belt. But he wouldn't leave the car and I really felt the need to get away. I eased off the brake and let the car start rolling, hoping he would move away so I could go. Finally! By then it was dark, and I was disoriented, but drove back to my car. The dream ended with me leaving the boy with some woman I seemed to recognize; I was inside her apartment, but left immediately when I recognized her man. I ran down the cement steps to my car and started it. 

I have a question for the universe though: Why can't I have an ordinary sexual escapade kind of dream??? once in a while at least?? hahaha

Dreamy HUGS to everyone!

Summertime

June 21 was officially summer by calendar date, but it has felt like summer for a while here in the Valley of the Sun. This is my first spring-into-summer after being here through the winter, so I've had more time this year to notice differences. It's always amazing to me how we become accustomed to how things work "in our own little world" and forget -- or maybe just not thing about -- the fact that things are often quite different in other places!

I wasn't prepared for the flowers to bloom so early here. And last week, as I traveled between home and work during daylight non-commute hours, I passed a corn field that has already begun to "fuzz" on top. Coming from good 'farming stock', we've always said if it's "knee high by the fourth of July", you knew you'd have a pretty good crop. But here, it's full grown and still 2 weeks away from the 4th. Can't say I had even thought about it. If I had a corner of land to plant things in, I can honestly say I wouldn't have considered it until the end of May, just out of habit, and assumptions. Goes to show, the planting season is much earlier here!!

I snapped this picture while driving 45mph, rather randomly and haphazardly ... what are the odds of getting a rabbit running along the field's edge in a picture???? In animal speak, rabbits move by hops and leaps ... wonder if that has any significance to my own life? Ahh, things to ponder!

HoppityHUGS to everyone!

..... over the Rainbow!

Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
and what's on the other side?

Who said that every wish
would be heard and answered
when wished on the morning star?

What's so amazing that keeps us
star gazing and what do we
think we might see ?

All of us under its spell,
we know that its probably magic.

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue and the dreams
that you dare to dream really do come true.

Some day we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
the lovers.
the dreamers.
and me.
~~~~~ Rainbows have always held a special fascination for me. It isn't the science of them, but the magic, the legends, the unexplainable even. I've often seen a rainbow when I'm searching for answers, or feeling like I need to know that a decision was a good/correct/wise decision. Is it fanciful to believe in that? Or is there some kind of spirit/cosmic/god/universe [whichever works for you] who answers that for us? Of course, it could just be total random coincidence. But I have to believe there's more than just randomness; that's just who I am. These quotes are from Kermit the Frog's "Rainbow Connection" and "Somewhere over the Rainbow" (I have a great Clapton version!) So just remember as you're doing your thing... Look UP! You just might see a rainbow today!! This pic was what I saw when I walked outside this morning.... made me smile!! (and grab my cam!! haha)

HUGS to everyone!!

Life's not always fair.
Sometimes you can get a splinter
even sliding down a rainbow.
~Cherralea Morgen

Tribute to Dad

In my lifetime, I've only had one Dad, no steps or substitutes. And he's the greatest!! He's not big on words, but he's always been my hero. We moved into our house the summer I turned 8. I remember having the same recurring dream after we first moved ... people were "coming after us" (as only a young mind in the throws of upheaval can imagine). And my mom, my sister and me laid a bench down across the front window to protect us as we peeked out the window. And Dad always rode up on a white horse, like a white knight ready to protect his family from the bad guys!

Dad might not say it all in words, but he sure makes up for it in actions. If something's broke, he'll fix it. If you need help with a project, he's right there. When I moved from Ohio to Arizona, he and mom drove down a few days before I was going to arrive, so that he could build me a queen sized storage bed frame. He built it, and a twin for Brian, in three days. It was moved into the apartment before any of our stuff was!

Happy Father's Day, Dad! I Love You!

HUGSS to everyone, especially the Dad's!

How much math? and work rules!!!

Here's a question for the general public: How much math is needed? How much math is too much? Or more to the point, When will I ever use this stuff? *sigh*

I'm in an "Introductory Algebra" college math course. And we're at the stage where we're beginning to graph lines and equations. Now, I understand there are jobs/fields out there where a lot of math comes in handy. And I'm all about learning new things; it keeps the brain fresh! But I keep wondering where I'll need all this in real life? Sure, I learned most of this in high school. And in all honesty, if I had continued using it on a consistent basis from then til now, I wouldn't feel as if I'd forgotten it .... so, reality wise, when will I need to graph a two variable equation on a grid???

As you can tell, I'm a little grumpy about math and graphing equations at the moment. I had a small quiz due today, and took it twice. 72% the first time, and 65% the second time :( So... am I not getting the math? or is it the terminology that's bogging me down? Or the easiest excuse of all.... is it because I'm blonde? hahaha

The last time I spoke with my Mom she said "but I thought you used to like math?" And I had to think about it. I think math is the one subject where you had to learn to think, to reason something out according to a rule. The rules were finite and didn't change. 2 + 2 = 4 always stayed the same. And for that, I did like math; like algebra, where you apply rules in a certain order to solve. I still like that part. :) Give me a page or two full of them, and I'll gladly sit down and solve them all. (yeah, ok, so ya'll know I'm a bit weird!)

Which is why work, and its rules, is so frustrating lately. Stuff that's defective, and returned to the store, is sent back to our return center for credit. In the past, we organized the stuff into boxes according to the rules laid out, and sent it all back. Granted, there are some stores who put people into my same position who don't know how to pack stuff into a box, or to stack boxes onto a pallet so that it doesn't tumble or squish before it arrives at the return center. (From my store, it goes all the way up to Las Vegas.) So ... lately they've been making rules about how things are to be packed and stacked. Every day for the past two weeks, there's been a new rule issued about how to pack and stack. Many times the rule from yesterday gets changed today, and the same again tomorrow. Make up your minds, make a rule, and lets stick to it. You make me a rule, and I'll follow it. Just don't change the rules every day so that I can't keep up. It got so bad I figured I'd just do my own thing.... lol..... and pack and stack as if *I* were going to be on the receiving end of opening the boxes I was packing. Which made it so that I didn't have to change too many things when they changed the rules on me. But sheesh!! Make A Decision!! and then stick with it!! [end rant]

Time to get down off my soapbox, thank you all for listening!
Surely I can't be the only one frustrated by lousy decision making....

HUGS to everyone!!

Half Century, Part I

As the half century mark approaches, I find myself looking both forward, and backward. There is nothing worse than reaching the end of your life and wondering what could have been! So this half century mark becomes one of remembrances, evaluation, and planning, too. TD Jakes said: "You can only correct what you are willing to confront." And that certainly applies. We have to look back and remember what we've done, where we've been; and be willing to face up to and accept the fact that not all we've done has been good. By the same token, not all we've done has been bad, either. Past failures and present predicaments make us feel disoriented in this maze called life!

I keep wondering what words of wisdom I could share at this momentous point in my life. I like to think I'd have lots of things to pass along to others. But I also know that sometimes the best learning experiences we have in life are our own mistakes we make along the way. I think what I would want the younger generation to know is: Navigating through life is like driving a fully loaded 18-wheeler: You have to look at the road ahead, and anticipate changes. You can't make sudden turns or quick stops in an 18-wheeler. You need to be ready well before the appointed turn! And I think life is like that too. So look ahead, and be prepared! One of my all time favorite quotes is: "Hope for the best, be prepared for the worst, and take what comes with a smile."

Looking back, I recognize that I could have used a little more guidance along the way; but I didn't seek it, didn't know I was missing it, until someone was there for me. (Thank you for that!) Funny what we learn when we aren't even looking!

So, I thought I'd reflect on a few memories... First grade. I know that I walked to school, Fair Oaks Elementary. I remember carrying a red and black plaid lunch box, oval I think it was, with a matching thermos. Every day, I had a cheese and butter sandwich. But because I had a thermos, I didn't get to purchase the little carton of milk! I think it was during the first week of school, the boy I sat next to, had an accident, and there was a puddle almost reaching my mary janes! And toward the end of the school year, each class put on a dance of some sort for what would be the year end picnic type day. Parents came to watch. Our class did some kind of circle dance. My memories are vague; but I learned the beginnings of reading and writing in that class. And my love of both is still with me.

Drop me a note: I'd love to hear what was first grade like for you!

HUGS to everyone!!

Seriously?!?!?!?

By now, everyone knows that I'm immersed in a math class, up to my eyeballs it seems! And it must be true... based on last night. I woke up at 2:30 am .... because I was so tired from running algebraic expressions through my mind, and solving them !! Now, I like taking classes, but this is taking it just a tad too far! Math shouldn't disrupt my SLEEP! eeeeks!!!

But today's lesson??? "Two trains leave Chicago for New York. The first train leaves an hour before the second train, traveling at 55mph. The second train travels at 65mph. How long will it take the second train to catch up to the first train?" If I recall .... back in 1975, we used to say "who cares?" hehehehe Guess I have to care now, huh ?

H + U + G + S = to everyone!

Some folks.....

Current mood: peeved

Myspace, and the internet, is a great way to meet some really nice folks. And I've met some really terrific ones!! (ya'll know who you are!) Sadly, it is also a way to meet people who aren't who they say they are. It's a shame some have to be conniving in order to gain something for themselves. Or maybe they don't do it purposefully to hurt someone else, but believe that if they tell the truth, no one will date/like/befriend them.

Had to put that out there because today I received an email from someone who seems convinced I am the one having an affair with someone in their world. Going by the dates quoted, I was 1,872+ miles away in OHIO at the time. Someone's blowing smoke, or telling tales....

Rest assured, I'm not carrying on or canoodling with anyone!! and I haven't in a very long time. And quite frankly, I haven't been interested enough lately to make much of an effort. Work and college keeps my time quite occupied.

On that note, I should get back to my math studies.......

HUGS to my favorite peoples!!

Intimidation is ...........

Open the online math class.
Click on Today's Assignment.

"Chapter 1 test. 30 problems. Time limit, 90 minutes."

Talk about intimidating!
My mind's thinking hard, doing ... yeah... more math.....
90 minutes divided by 30 problems = 3 minutes each?
YIKES!

That's intimidation..........!

HUGS to everyone!!!

Thoughts... on change

I keep catching parts of the Dr. Dyer show "Excuses Be Gone!" and when I hear something that speaks to me, I like to write it down. Here's a good quote: "When you correct your mind, everything else falls into place". I've thought about that for the past two days, and applied it specifically to my struggles with math class. And I've found that if I don't try and reason, if I just follow what I'm being taught (if this, then do that), then I will succeed. It's all about taking it one step at a time; and don't fret so much (thanks Prof! I really like that word!!)

So, how did that work for me? Well, I completed the second section of chapter 2, passed the homework and the test with 100%. And this morning, I've already completed the first part of tonight's assignment, then its on to the Chapter test tomorrow. Overall, I'm feeling a bit better about math. Those who know me well know that I'll still complain, because math has never been a fav subject! But as I changed my thinking, so did my anxiety about it, and my mind seems able to better function with the stuff.

So think about that quote if you're thinking about changes, or something needing to be changed, get your mind in that place first.

HUGS to everyone!

Math.... UGH!

Every day, I log on to my computer and struggle through yet another lesson in math. It's truly humbling to think that what you know (or knew, in my case!) of math barely covers any of what's in the lessons!

It's been a long time since I had to use words like exponents, integers, additive inverse and equation. And since I've started, I've begun to think they've changed things in the past 30 years. Didn't math homework say "solve the equation" or something like that ? Now they say "evaluate". Well, to me evaluate means "check this out, see what you think.. is it good? bad? indifferent?" LOL However, when asked to evaluate 3x+9=18 I typed in "looks good" and got a big red INCORRECT!! hahaha Its definitely a struggle for me to relearn some of the new terms. But if I want the grade, I hafta do it their way.

So that's what I'm doing!

Hugs to everyone!!!

The Callings of my soul...

Surfing through channels the other night (and yes, without pay TV, I have limited choices!!), but I caught a portion of Dr. Wayne Dyer talking about his new book "Excuses Be Gone!" and of course, that's a rather catchy title for a book!! Because, let's face it, we all make excuses from time to time to time about this, that and everything else at one time or another!!

This being PBS's pledge drive season, one sees a bit of the program, then interruptions for the pledge drives. The portion that caught my interest this phrase: "As I unclutter my life, I free myself to answer the callings of my soul." Wow.

Google calls clutter "A confused multitude of things" and "anything you own or possess that does not enhance your life on a regular basis". I don't know about the rest of you, but as I look around the rooms of my home, I realize that I have plenty of what could be called "clutter". But, I also realize that some of it represents memories that go way back to when my kids were little; or were things that 'spoke' to me for some reason, and I just had to have them. I try not to collect a whole lot of things, or make the things that I collect small enough not to be a burden. Like visiting places, I'll usually pick up a refrigerator magnet. Ooops, sorry, I've gotten off topic!

Then I had to see what was said about the "calling of my soul". Nothing definitive, but it conjured up a few thoughts for me. My soul is who I have been since the beginning, and who I am becoming, all at the same time. A life without a soul is a life without meaning. We all need some kind of meaning in our lives, otherwise, where would the purpose be? I believe that a soul withers from lack of caring and attention, but where does that come from? how do we do that? Living a soulful life takes courage and a willingness to look inward where our soul resides.

Your soul speaks to you with feelings, desires and preferences. If you were to listen... where would you find it? Perhaps it's within music that touches emotions; gardening; driving a country road with the windows down; the tangy scent of ocean breezes; a walk along the water's edge.

What would be on your list to creating a soulful life?

Take a moment .... and listen carefully ... is your soul calling out to you?

Soulful HUGS to everyone!!

Math and the TI-83

When she opened the door, she found her TI-83 arrived... Ahhh the six foot tall dark and handsome robot she'd ordered for the night.... Whoops! ..... *ahem* ... Wrong blog, let me start again...... *giggles*

For my next class, I enrolled in an online math class; figured it would be short and sweet, get it over with in the summer! With the heat here, we stay indoors a lot anyhow.... so..... but had I known, I might not have enrolled in this class!!

The course itself = $273, and financial aid covered that :) But then all the little things crept in. After all the information arrived (which of course was AFTER I enrolled and paid my tuition), I found I didn't have to purchase a book, but the online class access fee was $42.95. On top of that, I was informed that I had to have a TI-83 calculator! And of course, those are $100!!! But there's a place that rents them for $9/month. Ok, that's do-able!

The said calculator arrived today. Signature Required meant a trip to the post off (which was good, because I had two things to ship out...... ) When I arrived home and opened the package, to my surprise, there was a "gift" included in the package... a No.2 Pencil with eraser cap, and a 6" plastic ruler (watch out IRC fellas, I can now take measurements!!! hahahah) By the way, there are more commands on this thing than I know what to do with! ~~grin~~

The class was supposed to start on June 1, but me, being an eager beaver, wanted to get a jump on it, and started on Sunday, perusing and learning how to use the online tutorials and such. By Monday, I figured out where the homework assignments were being stored. So I got the first one done. To my disappointment, when I logged back in on Tuesday, there was a new assignment posted .... and an instruction for me to retake the first homework assignment. UGH!! I cannot get ahead if I have to keep going back!!

Is it August yet ???????

HUGS to everyone!