All about love

Have you ever picked up a book, or looked online at quotes, under the heading of LOVE? Most often, you find little wisdoms that look good on paper, might have a little tongue in cheek humor about them, but are they really about love??? I'm currently reading Robert Fulghum's book called "True Love" and its full of amazing stories of love. They're not your typical 'fairy tale' love stories, nor are they graphic sexual epilogues. Instead, you have to read between the lines to get the meaning of the "tingly" parts. Many times, the greatest loves of our lives aren't the ones we marry, or our high school sweethearts. It could be the friend who's known you forever; or a person you see everyday-- because its where you buy your Starbucks.

In the book is a short list of some really great quotes about love:

The opposite of love is not hate;
its indifference.

The game of love is never called
on account of darkness or rain.

Most of us need love the most
when we're the most unloveable.

If you concentrate on giving love,
your task will seem small
but the results large;
if you concentrate on getting love,
your task will seem large
and the results small.

Some say God is love;
some say love is God;
I say love is holy.

One of the most amazing loves of my life was extremely brief; and yet it still goes on. We met in a chat room, and there was instant "chemistry"; we became friends. Chats turned to phone calls, and one day out of the blue, he called and said "I want to take you to dinner." He was going to be in town, so I arranged to meet him in Zville. Normally, I'm a shy person; when we met, it was hugs at first sight, then a little bit of awkward chit chat. But dinner was super; it was so much fun to finally meet and talk face to face; it was as if we had known each other forever. And even though we're further apart, geographically speaking, and the time we spend chatting is less (we both have busy lives), when we take the time, its as if time stood still and we pick up right where we left off. This wonderful man accepted me as I am, treated me like a queen, and showed me what true love is about; he will never be forgotten. And I never miss an opportunity to tell him I love him.

True love may not be the stuff in fairy tales, but it can be just as wonderful if you open yourself, and your heart. Nobody knows or will ever know everything they need to know about love. Its elusiveness is part of what makes love seductive. One can only obey the great law of the heart that says "As long as you live, love one another and take the consequences."

HUGS and LOVE to everyone!

When things come together

The past week has been a whirlwind! One week ago, I looked at a house-- in a good neighborhood, great location-- on a whim. Things looked pretty good, and I decided to make an offer, see how it flies. And fly it did! Tuesday, my offer was accepted; I signed the first in a long wave of forms to be filed, and my home inspection is scheduled for Friday. If you had asked me 10 days ago how close I was to buying my very first home, I would have told you that I'm not anywhere near it! It's amazing how when the time is right, it all falls into place so simply.

I know that there are some folks out there who wonder if things will ever be right and fall into place; I have been one of those kind of individuals from time to time. But persistence is the key. There were times I was ready to give up. But some wise words came to me: "Something enticingly wonderful. It deserves endless persistence, and things will be going well. Grace in an empty garden. Starting with only little. Things will eventually turn out well, though."

I didn't give up; and it has paid off. Prof, you are right, this has been an incredible personal journey of mine. It began in June 2004 with a move; but I really feel the journey truly started on Feb 14, 2005, when I started a new position in a brand new store. That became the point in my life where I was able to let go of what was, and embrace what is. Every step I've taken, every person who's touched my life -- so many of you that I actually had the pleasure of meeting in person even! -- you're all a part of this! Prof, with all your wisdoms and your pestering, thank you! John, for loving me even on my worst days, thank you! To all the others I am proud to call 'friend', thank you too! Sometimes, its the little things that are said, the emails that are sent, that give a person just what they need.

And if you're doubting what you can or can't do... just do it! Yes, I know, that's Nike's line, but it applies to each of us. Don't give up your dreams, ever! MrBig, your picket worked wonders ... and I shall plant it in my new home in just the right spot. :)

HUGS and luvins to everyone!

Life, Part Two

Life after 50 ..... Is there? Nobody warns you about old age, it just creeps up on you and makes tracks across your face. It's terribly rude and inconsiderate. The next thing you know, your body sags, your vision fails, and you wrench your back picking up a book! When we're young, we envision ourselves being fit and lean in the middle of a race against time!! At this stage in life, we become a Maintenance Woman. It becomes top priority. We do things differently now. When I was younger, I took a multivitamin and thought nothing of washing it down with a Coke and doing my own daily things. Now, I take more than just a multivitamin, and each one says "take with a full glass of water". I can do those OK, but the ones that are for taking at bedtime with a full glass of water.... um, nope! unless "bedtime" is now like 7pm... and lets face it, some days, it could very well be that!!! Life is full of transitions — changes in careers, the beginning and ending of relationships, living in new locations, coping with the loss of loved ones — to name just a few. Now that I've reached 50, I know I have a few more years before I become "elderly" ;) And while there are many options at this stage in life to explore new things, new ideals, to start new relationships, travel the world, or exploring in my own backyard, the one thing I notice is that there aren't many guidelines for how to make this transition. Check your local library: There are all kinds of self help books for loads of specific life changes (such as divorce, new parenthood, single parenting) and there are bunches of others related to the elderly side of life. But what about us who are entering our 50's, a whole new phase of life? This is a time full of new opportunities and responsibilities, but it also takes investments of time, money and energy to find out what those phases will be; to discover new goals, develop new life plans, learn new skills, or find our new passions in life. What is noticeably absent are the helps and supports to manage and succeed in this stage life. With new opportunities and responsibilities come the requisite investments of time, money and energy necessary to discover their goals and passions, develop new life plans, learn new skills, and find a balance of purpose and meaning.

So what do you do to find these new adventures? What are the key elements?

• Stay healthy; watch what you eat
• Be more open minded; try new things!
• Live outside the box; do something you've never done before
• Try something with a little bit of risk: white water rafting? sky diving?
• Get out and meet new people
• Travel
• Awaken the "kid" in you: laugh, have fun, be spontaneous and silly!!

It ain't easy being fifty.... but I"m not the only one, see what else turned 50.... Crayola's 64-count box, The Peace Sign, Gibson Guitar's Flying V, and Legos. (the above were from 2008, but they seemed noteworthy mentions!) Famous women who turned 50 in 2009:

• Actress Linda Blair most famous for her role as the possessed in ‘The Exorcist’ Deborah Meaden, multi-millionaire business woman Marcia Mitzman Gaven, actress Academy award winning actress Emma Thompson Kerry Kennedy, daughter of the late Robert F. Kennedy and human rights activist Olympic gold-medal pairs skater Tai Babilonia Entertainer Marie Osmond Sarah Ferguson, Dutchess of York Former prosecutor and legal commentator Nancy Grace Paula Poundstone, Comedienne

and last but not least, Barbie!! And with one last thought .....

turning 50 is a little like paddling a canoe down a stream, and hearing a waterfall ahead.... there's no turning back!!!!!

50 HUGS for everyone!

School, half way mark, & wikis

We are more than halfway through this semester of classes ... where has the time gone?? I look back over the four years I was in Ohio and my son was in classes --- why wasn't I taking them at the time as well? Even if it had only been just for fun??? *shakes her head* I must be... well, lets just say that I'm glad I know better now!

One of my class assignments is to choose a library magazine and write a 'wiki entry' all about it. Check it out, my very own "wiki" type page here about Computers in Libraries . As you can see, I've only just begun to get the hang of it, but now I can go gung ho! and get some more data. Gathering the data is harder than making the entry!!

I'm amazed at the different things to be learned, always something new every day. As always, in reading quotes, I find things that touch me. "If you've never failed, you've never lived." Don't know who said it, but it says a lot. Failure is never a bad thing, it means you tried. (and probably learned something!) Its nearly the same as what I tell people who want to know if its ok to ask a dumb question: "The only dumb question is the question that never gets asked or answered."

(And forgive me if this blog isn't as well thought out as ones previous. My mind is having a hard time staying focused, as I am anxiously awaiting word on acceptance of an offer on a house!)

crossed-finger *HUGS* to everyone!

Life and Roller Coaster Rides

First there's the long climb up, up, up! then whooosh to the bottom in a drop, only to climb up again, and drop another time. Its exhilarating. Its frustrating, and can sometimes be depressing. While that's not the case in a real roller coaster ride, that's how life has been feeling lately. I started to do some house hunting a couple months back, and wasn't very serious at first. As I became more serious, and contacting realtors, I found that in spite of what I ~do~ have, there are many things I don't have, or can't qualify for, or get caught in the trippy little rules they have with some of the housing here. So while a roller coaster ride can be entertaining, looking to purchase a home is anything but!

Since 1997, I have told myself over and over "I will own my own home by the time I'm 50". Well, that number is here, and by golly if I'm not going to make it come true before I turn 51!!! One of my favorite store managers used to say "location, location, location" and that's so VERY true in the real estate market. Where the house is located is sometimes more important than the actual features of the home. I looked at some gorgeous homes that are 20 miles from work. That may not seem far to some of you, and I used to drive that on a daily basis. But here, it isn't get on a freeway and zip along those 20 miles. So much of it is in town that its more like a 40-minute commute. Which isn't all that bad either, if you don't mind your own company. But. Well. I just wanted something more in town.

The first home that I found, I was all excited about. Turns out it was a "short sale" and there were already five offers ahead of me. So, fat chance on that one. The next few that I found that I thought I would like always had a reason I couldn't do it. Conventional home sales needed 10-20% cash down. (and I certainly don't have 10k or more just sitting in the bank doing nothing!) There was always some sort of reason that it wouldn't work out for me. Each time I looked, I was looking at higher and higher priced homes. Looking much higher, and I would be pricing myself right out of the home market. Everyone keeps saying "Be patient". But that's not always an easy thing.

The first home I visited photographed well. The outside was great, the inside was cute! It was only 2 miles from work, and everything else fell into place as well. So I grabbed my son and headed out for a cruise. And while I had been in the neighborhood before, I sat there in front of the house, looking at the neighbors, and listening to the sounds. And knew this wasn't the home for me. Living across from a mobile home park wasn't for me. My son resorted to using slang to describe what he was seeing; and I could only imagine what it would be like on a hot Friday night.........

When I got home from work on Tuesday, I opened my email and there was a home that fit: location, price, and size. What luck! It was fresh on the market so I dashed an email off to my realtor, and he responded quickly. We arranged to meet there and visit the house the next day after work. There had already been several people interested in the home.... *sigh* Another home I would probably be outbid on.

At the last minute, my Realtor says "there's another around the corner; while we're here, lets take a look." Hey, I'm game, what have I got to lose? So we zip around the corner, and woo hoo! a cute house from the front! and its 3BR not 2BR. Is this a sign? Then we go inside, and *sigh* its so empty, echoing as we tried to converse. But I looked around, and even though I liked the other one better. As I left my realtor, I said this one would work, but I liked the first one better. It only took me about 5 minutes later in the car to realize that my preference for the first was due to the fact that it was decorated, felt homey already. But that the blank walls, the stuff not finished was left for~me~ to make it homey!!! So I called him right away and said let's go with the second one. We met today to write up the offer!!! I was so excited last night, I dreamed about landscaping the back yard, and boy was I tired when I woke up! lol

Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me please!!! *HUGS*

Do you believe in signs?

Are you a believer of signs? It's a question I've often asked of myself. And for many years (when I was younger and less learned?) I would have said "No, there aren't signs in things." But I am wondering now as I get older just how much there is that we truly don't understand. I know that when events line up in perfect timing, in looking back, you can see indications of signs we might have missed at the time. Like moving to Arizona for me. I had been ready a year before I actually moved. I packed, made plans, and it wasn't the right timing. Then in a flurry, it happened quick and was a really great move for me .... timing!

Once I arrived in Arizona, I started reading up on local history, people and events. The Native Americans here are a fascinating culture; they see signs in things, animals, planets and the sun. I've done some casual reading and became curious about a person's "animal totem". When I'm out walking, I often see different things: dragonfly, hawk, lizard, rabbit. If I come home and look up the 'meaning', its interesting to note how seeing something can relate to life (If it sounds like I'm talking strange, well, it is 'strange', but only in that we don't know about it; I know I never studied anything like it. So bear with me.) Lately, I've seen lots of dragonflies, and know that its in my 'animal totem'. In Native American circles, (and Asian as well) the dragonfly carries symbolic meaning.

The dragonfly has a beautiful, jewel-like coloring. The bright colors take time to develop, reflecting the idea that with maturity our own true colors come forth. Structures in their shells scatter and refract light, making them look iridescent green and blue. This ability to reflect and refract light and color has caused it to be associated with magic and mysticism. Dragonfly's magic is the power of light and all that has ever been associated with it. In Japan, dragonflies represent new light and joy. Dragonflies remind us that we are light and can reflect the light in powerful ways if we choose to do so. Life is never quite the way it appears, but is always filled with light and color.

I found a web page that has some 'dragonfly' messages on it: You are the quite messenger and harbinger of order, leaving in your wake the well thought out systems of filing codes and protocols that only you fully understand. Your nature is basically utilitarian and you know that efficiency is only achieved by repetition, attention to detail, and discipline. You love to see how many things you can do quickly and well and at all times you can bring your spot light vision and superb mind to the given matter at hand. You love routine, and believe you and others function better within them. (I laughed when I read this, because it is SO true about me and routine!)

And as most of you know, I work retail. Which means I am not much of a shopper. I know what I want, pick it up and get the heck out of the store, not wanting to go back to do *gasp* ShoPPing! But Tuesday I passed by the jewelry counter and stopped to give Janice some info, and glanced into the case and there were these pretty dragonfly earrings.
* blink * blink * blink *
I didn't pause for a moment, I had to have them!
What timing! What a sign!
I bought them then and there on the spot and slipped them into my ears.
I don't know if I can honestly say I felt something different, but I know that I zoomed through my work, and the day went by pleasantly.

Even more pleasant when I went home and logged in that I found a house for sale that could work! (see how that played out on the blog for 10/22.) And as pieces are falling, I wonder if they are falling into place? It has made me stop and wonder: was it related to the dragonfly and its signs??? I searched and found "The dragonfly is the essence of change, renewal, wisdom and enlightenment. Dragonflies represent transformation..." Could this mean there really are signs? In my heart, I say YES!

What animals are in your totem???

HUGS to everyone!

Trains

There are certain times of the morning when I try to avoid being on the road. I usually try and leave my house before 5:20 am so I don't get caught waiting for the morning train. It doesn't travel the tracks every day, but its never specific days either. (I'm wondering now if it rolls through every third day or something.) Today, however, I went a different way to work, as I wanted to drive by a house for sale. After driving past, I turned the corner to head to work. Up ahead, I could see the train track arms just beginning to lower, the red flashing lights start flashing. And quick as a wink, I turn left, and try and beat the train to the next stop. *sigh* I didn't.

So I sat there behind a car as the train crossed in front of me, quite slowly.

Then it stopped.

With train cars blocking the roadway.

The red flashing lights just keep on blinking.

As I wondered how long this would take, the train reversed direction.

It was backing the way it had just come.

The train's engine begins to whine and creak

as it attempted to push those cars backwards.

And it stopped .... Unable to go further? I wondered.


It rolled forward again, coming to a stop in the same place as before. And began the process of backing up yet again. The train's engine creaks and whines, and it is unable to completely push the cars backwards enough for the train to clear the crossing.


By this time, I'd had enough, and made a u-turn, I didn't want to be late for work! As I zoomed over to the next street and turned, I glanced down the tracks as I crossed them, and saw that front headlight still shining, and still in the same spot.


And of course, I wondered all day at work just how long the rest of the cars waited there for the train to finish what it was attempting to do.... Some days, you just have to make a decision!

HUGS to everyone!

Waiting......

W a i t i n g . . . . How much of our time is spent or wasted on waiting?

It's the little wait times that can be maddening, like waiting for nails to dry or to be called into a doctor's appointment. It could be waiting in line for something pleasant, like a movie or dinner; or something mundane like the post office, or the bank. Or worse, waiting for a plane or waiting for traffic to move. There's not enough time in any of those to actually accomplish anything else.... or is there?

With all the new on-the-go phone apps these days, why not take a minute to browse a new topic? Me, I'd be looking up photography things, but maybe you have an interest in a hobby you haven't tried. Or perhaps you could get one of those small notebooks and begin writing down thoughts, or writing poetry, or even writing notes about the people you see in line around you! There is always crochet or tatting; or one of those easy to read essays that are only a few short pages. You could try an mp3 player, or ipod with different podcasts, an audio book, perhaps some different genre of music you haven't enjoyed before.

Have you ever had an appointment across town, and ended up being there earlier than you expected? Why not drop into a card shop and browse a bit; you might even buy something for one of those birthdays, holidays or special occasions coming up. How productive that would be, saving you a trip to a store at the last minute, because you've been too busy?

Pretend you're a famous person, incognito. Keep a pair of outrageous dark sunglasses,or ones with wild vintage frames in your purse for some of life's boring moments. Feel mysterious, inscrutable. Watch the others in line: are they curious about who might be "behind those Foster Grants" ??

Finding something to do with your waiting time can help a person feel more productive!

All these little diversions work like a charm.

They must; someone took the time to think them up!

Oh look, it's my turn next at the teller.........

Long time no blog!

It's been a while since I've taken time to blog. It seems as if I have a hard time deciding which way to utilize my creative streak: writing? or photos? Lately, photos have been winning out. I was laughing with my friend bill the other day, explaining how I always make sure I have my camera first, then my wallet... to me, my camera is like an American Express card: Don't leave home without it! cuz you never know what you'll see on the roads!


School is going well, although some of it can be boring. We've been covering computer hardware in one class for the last two weeks. Classes must be geared for a little bit younger set, most of them were just babies when the first computers came out, broke down and we tore them apart for fun. My other class is more about libraries and how they function different from a patron standpoint vs a librarian standpoint, specifically lately, search engines such as Google or the academic kind. All in all, its a good thing!

I'm also in the process of house hunting. What a chore! I'm not liking it one little bit. As a single income, of course, funds are limited. And I'd like something in town for the time being, what with school and all. If I got way on the outskirts, I would become lazy and not want to drive all that way twice a week for classes. So... I'm still hunting.

This morning I went for an early walk, and parts of it turned into a jog -- that must be related to the cool hi-60s temps; I'm never much of a jogging type person! But I love being out in the early morning, watching the other folks who are morning people like me. There was a group on one hill doing some very vigorous calisthenics; another group that seemed more theatrical in that they seemed to be posing for photos and rehearsing some sort of choreographed type thing. (I was way across the park and by the time I got around to that side, they were done!); and yet another group who seemed to be "practicing samurai warriors". Some in long skirt looking things, with a long stick in their hands, brandishing it in arcs up over their heads as they marched down one side of the hill. Interesting sight!

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat was performed by a local theater production here in town. Two of my fellow Walmartians were in the production. Steve, as always did a fine job as Pontifer. And Mark --- BRAVO! on your execution of Pharoah, Elvis style!! Nothing like watching a co-worker strut his stuff on stage!

That pretty much sums up the little things going on in this corner of the world!

HUGS to everyone!