Stop shoulding !

Why do matters of the heart seem to matter more than other matters ?

What makes us so reluctant to see the obvious signs??

Why do we ignore the obvious in favor of our feelings or emotions??

I've heard it said "It isn't logic, it's love." Well, ok.
But that sure doesn't tell me much!

The latest book I picked up from the library is "He's just not your type (and that's a good thing!)" by Andrea Syrtash. I'm not sure what to make of it, but I grabbed it on impulse. Ok, I'll be honest, I grabbed it for the by-line of the book: "How to find love where you least expect it." And by the time I got it home, I thought, 'What the heck am I doing with this? I'm not looking.' However, according to the author, if you're single, you're looking. Even when you're not.

What I find most fascinating was what she had to say about our choices. How many of us have expectations about the person we want to be our soul mate? We could all create a "shopping list" of things we'd like our someone to have: tall, dark and handsome, a sense of humor, a good job (or even *any* job!!), smart, honest ... you get the idea. But does this shopping list exclude someone who just might be the one for us?

Here's one mind bending thought::::

Until you find the person you want to marry,
every relationship will be unsuccessful.

That blew me away; I never looked at it that way before. How many of us want everything we do to be successful? Weren't we raised that way? Why is it when it comes to dating, that we think every potential date/mate will be successful? Are bad dates and relationships part of the learning process??

The author tells us to "Stop shoulding all over yourself". Quit thinking "I should.. ________ (you fill in your own blank). The word should keeps us from taking risks, connecting with our values and following our hearts. Should is a security blanket; it feels safe. We should let it go, banish it from our thought process and be more open to things outside our ruts and routines. (Especially me! I think I'm the Queen of Routines!!)

The other thing that's obvious in each set of stories and circumstances she talks about is the fact that when you're in a relationship, it is what it is, in the right now. Never, ever think it's going to get better, improve, or that you can 'change things' by loving the other person more. Sadly, while the little things might be better, the basics of the relationship need to be just right from the get-go. Never ever 'settle' because of a 'should'.

Am I headed any where with this??? Nope! (at least, not here in public! haha) Just a few thoughts along the way that percolate in my brain .... lucky you, you get to read it! (laughs)

Since I'm not looking, I'll not bore you with several blogs on this book, but sum it up with this: The ultimate dating challenge is to challenge yourself. "Want a different dating result? Do something different consistently. Be different. Pay attention differently. Attract differently. And be open to a different result." It isn't about landing a certain kind of person -- it's about becoming the person you are meant to be.

And lastly, Don't settle for anyone who does not help you be the best version of you and who isn't someone you want to be with in the quiet moments.

HUGS to everyone!

short n sweet....

In a quick, decisive manner, I figured it was a good time to head home to Santa Clara and see my folks for the weekend. Had my son pack and loaded up the car early Saturday morning and headed out. Weather was clear and cool (for AZ anyhow!) and we hit a bit of rain at the AZ/Calif border. Didn't last long, though. The rest of the trip was uneventful and we made it there in 12 hours, door to door. We pulled up in front of the folks' house and turned on the car alarm. Mom looked out the window and said "that looks like Brian" and came running out. Was so good to see them both :)

Didn't do a whole lot of "stuff", just enjoying family time. My nephews had a ballgame on Sunday, and when I got there, Jake was pitching. After a few innings, Brandon also got to pitch! So it was like getting a "two-fer" for me!!! Sunday was hot, so we hung out at my sister's and swam, bbq'd chicken, and visited. It's always so good to catch up on all the things going on in our lives.

Monday, of course, meant I needed to get out and take some photos. I headed over to San Jose's Municipal Rose Garden, then the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum. (Although my daily shots challenges were things I was able to take indoors at the house.) Monday night was ham and baked potato dinner ...... home cooking is always SO good!

I also was able to bring back a few things with me: My rocking chair that I got when I was pregnant with my daughter (that was 28 years ago!) I didn't have room for it when I moved to Ohio, so it's been housed at the folks' since 1998. Now its "home to stay" in the corner of my living room. (Where I sat rocking and reading my book for nearly an hour this morning already!!!) I also brought home an antique office chair and a wash stand, too. And I borrowed my sister's "slide scanner" along with the first 10 carousels of slides my parents have taken over the years. Can't wait to start on that project and get things scanned and onto some DVDs so we can enjoy the old slides without digging out the projector, the screen, and all that goes with finding a place to put all that PLUS have room for folks to sit and watch. Me, I can watch the oldies all day long.... this will be a better way to preserve them, and for all of us to have copies of these precious memories.

The drive home was just as uneventful; however, we hit 5 o'clock traffic in Phoenix. Once home, something eaten, and a shower, I was in bed by 730, and probably asleep before 9 .... I was tired! We left California and it was 57 degrees. It was 104 when we arrived home. Quite the difference! But that's normal... :)

It's good to be back home, though.

hugs to everyone

Optimism!!

A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy.
Alexander Solzhenitsyn
"all these blue balls with unhappy faces
and there was one in the center
illuminated and yellow with a smiley face.
reminded me of your optimism."

~~Thanks, Prof! *HUGS*

PS: Wallpaper photo from here: http://wallbase.net/wallpaper/58442

Old Friends

We meet new people just about every day. Some of them just pass through our lives, some stay for a short time, and some stay for a lifetime. Living in Ohio, I became friends with three women: Emily, Cathy and Tammy. And it's the kind of friendship that never goes away.

Much to my surprise, Tammy ended up in Phoenix this week for a volleyball tournament, so we were able to get together last night for dinner. One of the other players hosted a dinner at a restaurant chain he works for... and let me "crash the party". (Thanks so much for that!) I have to admit that after being apart for two and a half years, I wondered if we would have much to talk about, considering our lives have grown so much apart. But the minute she walked through the doors, with a great big hug, we were right back to chattering away as if we'd never been apart. And that kind of friendship never goes away. :)

A good friend is a connection to life
- a tie to the past,
a road to the future,
the key to sanity in a totally insane world.
~Lois Wyse

Thank you Tammy, I had a terrific time at Brio Tuscan Grille!
Really big HUGS to all my Ohio Sisters! I love you all!

Sending a HUG to all my friends today!

Dragonflies and Possibilities

I've been asked "Why a dragonfly?" Well, why not?? But I shall explain. One day last year, on a walk around a park lake, two dragonflies flew along with me, around me and in front of me for half the circle of the lake. It was a pivotal moment: there I was, lost in my thoughts, when it occurred to me that so many things I wasn't doing, I was very capable of doing!

Was it just plain old timing that it happened? a coincidence? I looked it up when I got home, and became fascinated with Andrews' writing about animals and what they can teach us. We are connected to Earth, and it to us, and animals are a part of it. "They show us the true majesty of life itself. They restore our forgotten childlike wonder at the world, and they reawaken our lost belief in magic, dreams and possibilities." Possibilities. That's what struck me after having my thoughts on my walk, then reading Andrews' book. How many times have we held ourselves back because we don't believe in all the possibilities? Yes, sometimes we have to work hard to achieve them, but we won't ever know if we don't try.

Maybe I'm just a little naive, or simplistic, at times, but it seems to me we all need things to believe in; but more important, we need things that believe in us. There's more to this Earth than the things we consider. It is all interconnected in ways we've only just begun to understand. Are the animals that cross our paths in different times of our lives a connection we've been missing?

Dragonflies represent new light and joy. They remind us that we are light and can reflect the light in powerful ways. "Let there be light" is the divine prompting to use the creative imagination as a force within your life. Life is never quite the way it appears, but it is always filled with light and color. It brings the brightness of transformation and the wonder of colorful new vision. (excerpt from Ted Andrews' "Animal Speak")

So.. why not a dragonfly???

Joyful HUGS to everyone!