Monday, April 4, 2016

Work Woes -- or is it Whoahs???

My job can be complicated.  And simple at the same time.  Simplistically, items that are returned to my BigBox store are scanned and put into boxes to send back to vendors.  Conversely, there are special rules for shipping this, that and the other thing, and my job is to remember those rules without violating company policy, or creating a hazardous package to violate DOT regulations.  That's it in a nutshell.

Because there are so many returns, I can't work 7 days a week, so I have someone who helps me.  I call him Elvis.  But Elvis isn't a Company Man.  He's out to get what he can get for himself.  When he finds himself boxed into some kind of corner, he finds another way around it.

The biggest controllable expense in a BigBox store is payroll, so there are certain rules and schedules, and everyone must follow their schedule.  If not, there are consequences.  However, Elvis has figured out that if he clocks in 15 minutes early each day, by Friday he can leave early (so as not to go over his scheduled number of hours).  Leaving early before the end of shift causes a flag and he's violated this one for the past 6 weeks.  But I was having the hardest time trying to figure out why he can't get his entire work load done in the hours allotted him.  I know I can do his part of the job in about 6 hours total.  Today I figured it out.

Turns out, he clocks in early but heads into the employee break room until starting time.  So there was 20 minutes of lost productivity.  He then took a 30 minute break when he's allowed 15.  I've been observing this since last fall, and trying to report it to management, but ... well, I guess there are other things more important.  Today, I think they finally got tired of me reporting him and pulled video. Yep.  They concurred and gave him a written warning for not following schedule.

That isn't the entire story, however.  Two weeks ago, he came into work oddly gleeful.  He said someone had killed his tomato plants, and he has witnesses that it was two different employees from the store.  I'm sure I had a WTF face on -- who would assume it's a fellow employee?  and why would they give a rat's ass about his tomato plants??   I let it go at that, because I didn't want to hear any of his drama.   That won't be the case, because he's not shy about spreading the rumor throughout the store.  Of the two accused, one is a part time cashier who barely makes ends meet.  I can't see her spending $$$ on something to kill his plants!  She's also one of the nicest, meekest women I know.

When she heard about his accusations, I found her in tears in the bathroom, and then discovered Elvis has been quietly harassing her.  I reported it.  She refused to write up a statement, saying she didn't want to make waves, the whole thing would blow over.  Today, there was another incident.  As she was clocking in, he leaned in over the back of her, took a big sniff and announced "You Stink".  She walked away from him and asked me if I thought she smelled, I said no, and advised her again to report this, as this is more harassment.  She finally reported it, and I'm glad for that.

The tomato story doesn't end there.  (And I'm sure there's more that I refuse to listen to!) But he and I work in close confines on days we're both scheduled; it seems as if he's had many conversations with some Police Officer, and he was explaining some kind of "complicity" charge that could be brought up if only one had killed the plants, but the other was knowing about it, or bragging about it at work.  He then proceeded to give me an example about him coming to my house, dropping tainted meat over the fence to hurt my dog, then telling someone else about it.  He then emphasized that this is "purely hypothetical".   Um.  Another example wouldn't have worked well enough?  You have to use a veiled threat like that?   I put it out of my mind.  But today, he asked what I was doing next week .... I'm on vacation, I replied.  He said Isn't it your daughter's wedding?  mmm hmmm (and keep my head down, keep on working, trying to ignore him) He kept on talking about how he knows someone who could watch my dog for me while I'm gone.   No thanks, she goes with me everywhere.  

In the years that we've worked together, he's never asked or mentioned my dog.
Then after his coaching today, the first thing he says to me is "You make Marcy look like a cub scout..."  (Marcy being a manager from the past who was notorious for being a bitch).

Mmm hmm... keep talking, Elvis.
Talk yourself right out of a job.