A Waste of Time

Are you a worrier?  Everyone worries about some things especially things we can't control.  But do you find yourself worrying too often ??  Or about something that you cannot change??  Personally, I prefer that things - my choices, my surroundings - be things I can control.  And when I can't control them, I am a big worrier.    And what a waste of time!!

But I've found  that there are a few little 'tricks' that help me get over the worrying.  Once you find yourself stuck in that worry pattern and nothing else matters in the moment, you know you're wasting time, probably on something that you have no control over.  And yet we spend out time worrying.  But instead of getting worked up, take a moment to pause and really think things through.  Another suggestion is to call a friend, talking it through could help you see a different side of the problem.  However, one of my favorite things to do when it comes to worrying is to write it down, to think out my feelings as I write it all down.  Sometimes it write it here, sometimes just in my journal.  

Once you identify what your biggest fear is, you can take some action.  If the worst case scenario happens, then what will you do?  One of our reasons for worry is feeling powerless.  Sometimes breaking down the big problem into smaller pieces, we can begin to control parts and pieces of the big thing, and we will feel better.

For me, the biggest worry right now s the (very real) threat that my position at work will be eliminated.  When that order comes down, what will I do?  They will be offering severance pay based on my years of service but I'm not ready to retire.  Or am I?  Physically, I am, but it's the money issues that worry me the most.  Actually, it's not quite the money, it's paying for health insurance until Medicare kicks in.  So what will my options be?   Take the severance and find a new job where I have to start over earning vacation pay and all the rest?   Take another position in the store to continue my health insurance coverage?  The drawback would be a change in my hours, my days off, and possibly losing a little bit of my pay rate.   And yes. This is my really big worry. The hardest part is having to wait until this change kicks in before I have to make a decision.  

No matter what your worry is, take steps, do whatever helps, to break it down and worry less!  It helps!

Keep Creating

Time has a way of slipping away before we know it!  All this talk and self discovery about finding our creative self, and also finding time to nurture our creativity made me wonder about how that translates into the digital world.  Social media impacts all of us nowadays.  In fact, maybe you've been on the same side of this fence as I've been, which is teaching my mother (who is 83!) how to use email, text messaging and a smart phone!  The one word that comes to mind is Patience!!!!

When you become a creative person, you realize that in the digital world is where you need to discover links to people with similar interests.  One of the things I've discovered is a group called "Duck Duck Jeep".  People who own Jeeps buy little plastic ducks and leave it on someone else's Jeep.  When that person discovers the duck, it's posted on a Facebook page and then passed on to another Jeep owner!   To me, that sounded kinda fun!  but I don't have a Jeep, or a duck!  hehehe

Another group like that is called "Arizona Rocks".  Folks paint a rock with a pattern, or a critter, or just a simple "HI" and then hide the rock somewhere to be found.  When it's found, the finder posts on the Facebook group and then hides the rock for someone else to find.  This one caught my eye, and since I have rocks in the yard, paint in the craft room, I decided to paint a couple of rocks! lol  Yeah, sometimes I get caught up in weird directions and give something new a try!     I started these rocks today, I'll add a sealer later this evening and then I'll drop them off on my walk tomorrow morning. 

There are all kinds of hobbies and creative outlets, so keep thinking, keep looking and keep creating!

Your Home as a Hobby

 I challenged myself back in June to begin writing in my blog daily, and I've hung on quite well!  And a lot of my posts have given me a lot to think about, and to learn about myself as well.   There's something nice about achieving a goal!

Today's topic in my book is about making your home a part of your hobby.  If you're like me,  you look at maintaining your home as a chore, not a hobby.  But a part of what we do inside our home is an expression of ourselves, and a reflection of who we are.  One of my passions back in the day was collecting antique Pyrex and some Vernon Kilns stoneware.  In order to enjoy it, I was inspired by a Swedish plate rack design, so I had my Dad and my son build me one to hold some plates.  Every time I look at it, I smile and remember them building it together.  

Sometimes our outlook holds us back, and sometimes it helps us grow.  Changing our perspective from our chores being a drudgery to being a pleasurable pursuit.  For example, the idea of "cleaning the garage" doesn't sound fun -- until you change your thinking to "once it's done, there will be room for my hobby"!! 

It's important that we let our home reflect our personality; perhaps your hobbies will play a part in your home's decor.  But as you're running down your TO DO list of household chores, think about how you can do more than just clean .... put your stamp on the chore, make it a reflection of your inner Spirit and let it shine, shine, shine! 

Pick A Hobby

When you've been rethinking your life and considering a new hobby, when there are so many choices and you don't know which one to choose, sometimes I just do the eeny-meeny-miney-moe and pick something to try.   And once you pick something, make a list of what supplies you need and head for the store!  

I love wandering through craft stores, or even the craft aisles at Walmart.  So much inspiration!  I don't crochet or knit, but some of the skeins of yarn are beautiful!  Then there's the paint section- oh my!  The possibilities!  Fabric by the yard, sitting on the bolt, just waiting to be sewed into something wonderful!  

Even if you're just going to select reading for pleasure .... go to the library, borrow a book, or download one to your smart phone or kindle.  Then kick back with your favorite drink, put your feet up and begin your reading!  

Maybe you're going to try writing - grab the laptop and empty your mind and just let your thoughts flow free as you put them down.  This will give you a good idea where you're going.  Going to try painting?  Grab some paints, some brushes, and paint whatever you see -- out your window, in your mind's eye -- whatever works for you.

Taking photographs doesn't take much these days with all the new digital technology.  Or you could force a change in your photos and grab an old polaroid, or the new digital type polaroid, and choose a topic to challenge yourself:  all black and white photos;  all nature close up photos;  sunsets;  landscapes; or maybe you'll be even more daring than I am and take photos of people on the street!  

The thing here is to choose.  Pick a hobby and give it a try.  Give yourself permission to have fun! 

of course, my own hobby lately is a

photo challenge.  Yesterday's 

challenge word was watermelon.

Since no watermelons were in the

store, I found a beach towel print!

Finding Pleasures

Remember  once upon a time, when we all knew how to play?  Finding that place isn't easy as we get older, so we have to really concentrate on when we were young.  What was your favorite thing to do?  What was your favorite game to play?   

Remember when you were in school and you made one of those "webs" on paper?  In the center circle you might write "fun".  Then the arms or branches off that might be the answers to these questions:

What was your favorite childhood game?  Your favorite sport? Your favorite book? Comic strip?  Your favorite singer or group?  The answers to these questions can give you a lot of insight to what might be fun for you! 

What about learning something new?  If you could acquire three additional skills, what would they be -- playing piano? figure skating? taking really great photographs?   What three outrageous things would you try if no one knew about it -- belly dancing?  clowning? hot air ballooning?  What three things sound intriguing, even if you'd probably never attempt them -- stand up comedy? mountain climbing? scuba diving?  What three all-expenses-paid vacations appeal to you -- an archeological dig? a ride on the Orient Express?  Do you like working with your hands? scrapbooking? gardening? working in stained glass? creating shadow boxes?  

All of these are just ideas, you may have other thoughts.  But gathering your thoughts in one place, on paper or on a computer screen, can give you some answers, to guide you to what might be your next best place! 

Finding Fun

What do you do for fun?  If you're a busy woman with a family, fun usually revolves around the others, not ourselves.  I raised six kids and there was a lot of fun happening, but it wasn't really "my" fun.  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have changed those days in any way!!  But now that the kids are grown and on their own, I find it hard to imagine having "fun" by myself.

But we all need something, that one thing, in our lives that brings us great joy.  Spending time alone can give us a sense of what might make us happy.  When we let go of the everyday, and concentrate on what might bring us joy, we just might find that one passion.

When I was living in California, I started antiquing, and began collecting vintage Pyrex, and depression glass items.  I loved to go to Goodwill stores, or the Salvation Army Thrift stores and look for "treasures".   Doing that brought me a lot of joy on my weekends!  

But things change, we change, and we need to pause, to let ideas come to us in our moments of solitude, to find that zest for life, the joi de vivre, the love of life.  For me, it's getting back to doing my photography, maybe finding a class to expand my knowledge.  

We all need to find that one thing that brings us joy.  We tend to focus on the destination, but the journey can be just as much, if not more, joyful if we only pay attention! 

Me Time

For the past week or so it's been all about finding time for ourselves, finding time for creativity, finding time for ourselves to regroup on a daily basis.  Even finding fifteen minutes a day can be uplifting and rewarding.   It's important for our well being.  

But there are other things that can do it for us, as well.  I'm beginning to ... or is it trying to restart? .... doing a daily walk on my treadmill.  It isn't easy.  I come home from work and I'm tired.  My fitbit logged 83 minutes of activity before I climbed up on to it.  I walked my fifteen minutes today.  Yesterday was better, one mile in 19:24.  Not every day is going to be as successful as any other day.  But it's all about finding those few minutes, sometimes it's only going to be fifteen, but it's something.  

Things are different now than they used to be.  In order to learn stress reducers you might have gone to a class at the Y, or gotten a self help book from the library.  But these days there are all kinds of phone apps to help you rethink, relearn, regroup.   I use MyAgileLife, and FreshTri.  Each of them are different, but the basic premise is to learn new ways and relearn old habits.  MyAgileLife is a text based app.  I can choose how often I get a text, and choose the topic I need to work on.  Reducing stress and building connections with people has been the last month's focus.  On FreshTri, I get reminders to start the day with an intention.  Maybe it's scheduling a massage, but I write it down so that the intent stays fresh in my mind.  At the end of day, before I go to bed, I can record my gratitude for something that happened, something I'm grateful for.  

Both of these, and several other apps, are all good ones.  They remind us that we need to slow down, take time to enjoy today, this moment, and notice happiness.  Happiness isn't at the end of the journey, it's along each step of the journey.  

Privacy Deprivation Syndrome

 I read about privacy deprivation syndrome in Breathnach's book, and decided I needed to google this a little bit, but it didn't bring up anything worth reading.  Maybe it's not a real medical condition, but it can definitely have an impact on a busy woman's life!   

Sometimes women are so busy being the caretakers, that we forget how important it is to take care of ourselves.  We usually realize this important life lesson when we finally catch something that makes us ill.   So I let my fingers do the walking to find good advice for women to take care of themselves:

• Take time to do nothing, even if it's just an extra ten minutes in the shower to take a moment to breathe
• Dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable and confident, don't follow fashion trends.
• Spend time talking and connecting to other people (I struggle with this one a lot!)
• Take time to be alone
• Read something other than your Twitter or Facebook feed.
• Get outside
• Cook one meal every day.
• Care for your space. Decorate, clean, declutter, whatever it takes for your well being.
• Don't engage with people who don't serve a positive purpose.
• Drink enough water.
• Choose your own thoughts
• Find something to be grateful for.

These are just some simple suggestions, choose what works for you, or choose something else as long it provides you with a break from the rest of the world.  Even if it's only a few moments. We can't take care of everyone else if we're not taking care of ourselves! 

The Gift WIthin

Have you ever wondered about your "gifts" ?   About finding what it is that is perfect for you?  Some people find it at an early age, and for others it takes longer.  And then, some of us change directions later in life and go searching all over again.

My sister was one who knew what she wanted from about the time she was 10 years old.  Her and I used to play school in our garage with the neighborhood kids.  She was always the teacher, that's all she ever wanted to do.  And in her grown up life, that's what she did, and what she loved.  Me?  I was always the one who organized the desks, put pencil and paper for each "student", and supplies in the teacher's desk.  And yes, I've always been that behind the scenes kind of person, setting things up and taking them down.  Pretty much describes life working in retail !  

My daughter was the opposite: it took years for her to discover a true passion.  As a teenager, she was all over the board.  It wasn't until her daughter was born that she found her way into the medical field and she's been a sleep technician for many years now, and enjoys it. 

if you're at a place in your life where you're ready to start looking for something new, but you don't have a direction, the best advice would be to spend time in solitude and let something come to you.  Whether you call it meditation, soul searching, or something else, it takes some solitude, some silence, time away from the pressures of life in order to let new thoughts permeate your soul.  

There is a quality to being alone that is incredibly precious.  Once something is revealed to you, life rushes back richer, more vivid, fuller than before   This is when you discover the gift within.  It may not be a new career for you, it might be a new hobby, but it's something that will enrich your life.  I say give it a try!

The Lone Cypress, Pebble Beach, CA 

(sometimes the beach is a perfect place for solitude!)

A Time Out

Some days are bad days.  You get up and dressed; brushing your teeth you dribble toothpaste down the front of your shirt and it won't wipe off.  Or you go out to your car and it won't start.  Two weeks ago I walked out and found I had a flat tire!  (hello, AAA?? Help!)   The boss is cranky, and it affects your work day.  You get home and the kids need supper, and oh yeah there's a project due tomorrow and can you take me to the art store??   Ugh.   We've all had many days like these.  

When everything seems to be going wrong, that's when we need a time out.  If you've raised kids, when things aren't going well for them, when kids get cranky, they start acting out, which calls for a time out.  Sometimes adults need them too. 

Craving a little solitude isn't wrong, it doesn't make you a bad parent or bad person.  It's a part of who we are and how our needs crave to be met.  And sometimes just a quick 15 minutes can make all the difference in your day, in the moment.   

When I walked out and saw my flat tire, I called AAA for help, called work to let them know I would be late -- I figured it would be half hour or more!! - and of course it always happens on the day when I'm the busiest.  But while I was waiting for the repairman, I sat down and turned on my local PBS station.  They have a channel where they show beautiful photos of interesting local places and play classical music.  It's not my favorite "go to" thing to listen to, but in that moment of anxiety over fixing the car and being late for work, I managed to carve out some solitude.

And it turns out, the mechanic arrived when he said he would, I was back on the road and only 9 minutes late for work!   

The Joy of Solitude

We live in very busy times, and there aren't many moments of solitude in a normal day.  Most of us think of solitude, a time of doing nothing, as if it were a frivolous, expendable luxury rather than a creative necessary.  Why??? 

Solitude frees up our mind from the distractions of everyday life and allows us to focus more fully on one thing.  It allows our brain to think outside the box and come up with unique, extraordinary solutions to ordinary problems. 

Exceptional creativity often happens in solitude.  With quiet, you can hear your thoughts, you can reach deep within yourself.  

Today, I took myself off into some solitude.  I hopped in my car and set off on what I'm calling my scavenger photography hunt.  With the radio off, I drove in silence, focusing on the challenge words I was out to try and capture.  Specifically, a skyscraper, a flag (blowing in the wind), a saguaro cactus, and something yellow.  As my mind emptied of thoughts of work and household chores, I drove toward the tallest building in town, found a place to park and looked up, trying to see the best angle for a photo, and snapped a few.  

When you allow yourself some peace and solitude, your creativity comes alive, but better, we come alive as well! 

True North

Some people believe that happiness comes when you arrive at your heart's destination.  Explorers call it true north.  But I think there's more happiness in the journey than in the destination.   That doesn't mean we don't need to have a destination in mind.  I think it's more about where we put our focus rather than always on the goal line.  

We still need certain goals to reach accomplishments, because we need that.  To establish our "true north" the first step is to decide what it is you truly want, either personally or professionally or both.  Be deliberate; establish daily routines and rituals to help you reach your goals.

Since I'm old and nearing retirement, that's one of my goals!  But there's nothing for me to actually do between now and then except to carry on, let time march on toward the end date.  At the same time, I can't just drudge through every day.  I need to have focus and find moments of happiness in my work day as well.  I tend to set small goals that can be accomplished, because accomplishing tasks makes me feel as if my day was productive, and that brings a measure of happiness as well.

In the mean time, I am doing all I can to focus on smaller things in life outside of work that bring me joy.  When I'm thinking about a photo challenge, the subject matter, the presentation, how to make it more interesting or photogenic, those small details, each step of the process can bring happiness -- if I choose to focus on it.  Knowing I'm creating something also brings me a certain amount of happiness.   Even something as simple as house keeping chores can bring you happiness, if you take a moment or two to actually appreciate the way things look when you're done! 

Don't bother with whatever is popular or pleasing to others.  It doesn't matter what others are thinking.  If it brings you a measure of happiness, then you're right on track to your true north! 

"It is good to have an end to journey towards;

but it is that journey that matters in the end."

-Ursula K Leguin

Authentic Hunger

Household chores call to us.  Children call to us.  Work calls to us.  But when does our creativity call to us?  Maybe it does, and we don't hear it?  Or are we too busy listening to our obligations and not our authentic self, that creative side of us.   Maybe we've convinced ourselves that we don't really have time for any pursuit of our creative side that takes more than 15 or 20 minutes.  

Or maybe we don't hear those whispers because we don't want to hear.  If we hear, we might have to acknowledge, even respond.  There's no time to be passionate, we have to be practical.  I know I'm guilty of that one more often than not.  From the time I was a little girl, I was raised with the mantra of "work before play".  And being the kind of person I am, in trying to please authority figures, I do much more work than play.  But I'm learning (and relearning) every day to be better.

While we all have our priority list of things that need doing, we should remember that we can include ourselves, our passions, our creativity, on that list as well.  We won't be putting ourselves at the top of the list (because that's not how real life works!)  but we can at least get on the list.  And maybe our time doesn't happen every day, but we should all find time to carve out for ourselves.

Mary Ann Evans wrote:  "It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive.  There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good and we must hunger after them."   Space and time to nurture our creativity may be one of our authentic hungers.  Perhaps we think that only food, drink, work, sex, shopping, or pills can reduce the hunger to a dull throb.  But if we take an hour a day to paint, to plot, throw pots, write, take photos, maybe we wouldn't be in pain. Just maybe. 

 

Entertaining

As a kid, my mother did a lot of entertaining, and I was good at the getting set up part.  That's just a part of my nature, I'm the gal behind the scenes kind of person.  As kids, my sister always wanted to play teacher to the neighborhood kids. We played school often!   Me??  I was the one who set up and arranged the desks, made sure there was paper and pencil for the students as well as the teacher.  That's the part I was good at, and liked.  It is the same for entertaining.  I like the planning, the setup, and even the cleanup.  But the entertainment part?  Not my favorite part, but I should try harder.

Mom would decide that she's going to have a dinner for some branch of the family.  And the planning was a big part of that, along with the first step:  cleaning the house.  She made lists of chores that needed to be done, lists to plan the menu, and lists for grocery shopping.  I grew up with the entertaining aspect as part of my life.  I know that what we did as a family wasn't half as elegant as the stuff we'd see on TV, but it was more than just a paper tablecloth with paper plates and plastic silverware.  

Does the thought of a big dinner overwhelm you?  Do we just skip over the entertainment portion of life because the thought of all that needs to be done for that overwhelms us?  I think it's important for us all to remember that while we may not want to go "all out" with fancy china and silver utensils (that need to be polished all the time!), that going to the effort of sharing food is a very good thing.  

One of the things I remember doing years back was having what we called a "Progressive Dinner".  Several couples would volunteer to host just a part of a dinner.  We would start at one family's house and have drinks and finger foods.  At the next hour, we would drive to the next host's home and we might have our first course, another home and another course, the last home was coffee and dessert.  This way the expenses were kept to a minimum, and the evening was filled with many different interests and a lively group of people!   Another way to keep costs down is to host a potluck, each family bringing something to share, that way the entire preparation isn't so daunting.

I haven't seen my daughter and her family since the COVID thing started, but the last time they were here, we went beyond paper and plastic to actually cooking the meal together:  steaks on the BBQ, broccoli, taters, and some crusty french bread.  We sat down to our meal at one table, with table cloth and stoneware dishes.  Ok, I admit we used paper napkins ....   The important part was the sharing while cooking, while eating and even while cleaning up.  My greatest hope for all that effort is that it will remain a good memory for all of them.  Sharing is such a blessing! 

Fishes and Loaves

In my quest to expand my learning and to also increase my writing skills, I challenged myself to read from S Breathnach's  book Simple Abundance and to apply what I read to my own life and write about that.  So far, it's been a good challenge for me, keeping my mind busy and growing, along with my inner self.  Learning about our self and the how's and why's of what we've become can be interesting -- mostly to our selves.  But what others experience can also teach us.

The next two days in the book talk about the parable of the Fishes and Loaves.  A crowd of believers, seekers, and skeptics gathered to hear Jesus teach.  At the end of the long day, his disciples wanted to send the crowd home.  Jesus told them not to be ridiculous, the people were tired and hungry.  The disciples complained, telling him they only had five loaves of bread and two fishes, how can they feed a crowd?  Jesus took the bread and fishes, looked up to Heaven, offered thanks and blessed the food.  The disciples distributed the food and when everyone had eaten their fill, gathered up twelve baskets of leftovers.  

This is a good example of simple abundance.  Sometimes we just don't "get it" , sometimes we just can't see what's right in front of us.  Have you ever had a power struggle in a relationship?  What about a problem with controlling your credit card spending?  A career problem undermining your self esteem?  For me, my biggest strugglen is with self-sabotage issues, namely my eating habits.  

When we don't "get it" it's usually because we can't see what I call the bigger picture.  For me, I might reach for a cookie, tell myself "It's just one cookie", but what I can't see is how the sugar creates chaos on my insides, or how the calories in that one cookie puts pounds on my hips.  We keep trying to make life easy, but let's face it, life is hard.  There will always be struggles of some sort.  But if we keep our eyes on a bigger picture, to step back and have an inward look, perhaps we can lighten the load of those struggles and live a life in simple abundance! 

Finding Passion

Everyone struggles with issues in life.  I've had my share of struggles, bouts of what I guess you'd call depression because I just lost enthusiasm for most things.  It's not easy to get back into the swing of things, but as long as we keep trying, somehow it will all work out.  

And for the last couple of weeks, I've felt a lot better lately.  I just needed to find something that helps me get past the struggles.  Writing here has been a big help.  But I've also located a photography challenge, a word assigned every day as a topic for a photo.  Sometimes they're easier to consider than other times, but that's the part that I like most.  Something I can think about and then something I can do that makes me feel creative again.

On Forbes, I found "A creative act such as crafting can help focus the mind, and has even been compared to meditation due to its calming effects on the brain and body.  Even just gardening or sewing releases dopamine, a natural anti-depressant.  Creativity reduces anxiety, depression, and stress ... And it can also help you process trauma."

Here's a small sample of the recent challenge words:   Waiting.   Keys.  Six pm.   Road Sign.  While these aren't particularly artsy, it's been fun thinking about something I enjoy doing!   So if you've been feeling a little off, try a little bit of creativity!!! 

Traditional Tables

As a kid growing up in the 60s and 70s, one of the things we did as a family was eat dinner.  We always set the table with the whole deal:  plate, silverware, glasses, napkins.  It was a ritual of sorts to set the table.  Both my sister and I learned how to set a dinner table for our daily meals, and we also learned how to set a table for a special occasion.  This was back in the day before there was Martha Stewart to guide us to setting a beautiful table.  But there was always special china, the fork on the left, the knife and spoon on the right, a nice folded napkin, water glasses and wine glasses for the adults.  There was also always a centerpiece, usually themed to the holiday, sometimes with candles, sometimes flowers, or even both! 

There's a special feeling when you see a perfectly set table.  Somehow you just know that a beautiful table means a very good meal, and really good fellowship with friends and family.  

Think about the last time you sat down to a special meal, with beautiful place settings.  It wasn't just the actual setting, there's a sense in your soul that this will be a meal to remember.  We had so many of these kinds of family meals!  Here we were in 1967, family gathered around the table, Mom's china place settings -- the grownups even have their wine already!   

Even if it's not a special occasion, set an elegant table, and see how different your meal can be!

Bon Appetit! 

The Celebrating Table

Food is a way of life, and a huge part of our celebrations.  Everything seems to revolve around food; when we're happy we celebrate with food, when we're feeling blue we reach for something comforting.  When we're busy sometimes all we have time for is to grab something handy or quick.  

When I was growing up, we ate meals around the table as a family.  Every.  Single.  Day.  And as a teenager, I tried to figure out how to get out of it, to find a way to eat while watching TV perhaps.  But Mom and Dad were adamant about dinner as a family.  As I grew up and matured, I made my own choices.  By the time I had kids of my own, I found myself insisting on eating dinner as a family around the table.  Every.  Single.  Day.

When I remarried and created a blended family of six kids, I found this to be a very effective way to keep the lines of communication open between kids and adults.  One of the things we learned was that asking a general question such as "How was school?"  got us the standard answer:  "Fine".  We soon learned to ask questions in a different way.  "What did you learn in school today?"  Not every kid wanted to volunteer a lot of information, but it was a way to start discussions, to learn how to speak our minds, and to learn about how others are thinking or feeling.

When you're the cook or chef for the main meal on a daily basis, it can be stressful at times.  Every kid comes home from school and asks "What's for dinner?"  It's up to us to decide what the meal will be.  It could be something as simple as soup and grilled cheese, or your traditional Thanksgiving turkey with stuffing and gravy.  Either way, gather your family around the table, set it with paper and plastic, or your best china.  We know without food we die.  But without fellowship, that time with family, life is not worth living.   Let's eat! 

My stoneware "Linda" by Vernon Kilns, and some dolls, for fun!

Another Hard Day

Here it is, another difficult day.  One year ago today, my beautiful sister lost her three year long battle with pancreatic cancer.  She fought a really good fight with everything she had.  She smiled through all of the hard stuff, the chemo treatments, some cryo surgery.  She also knocked a few things off her bucket list - trips with friends to Ireland, to Paris, and some beach trips on the California coast.  We all miss her every day.

Losing a loved one is never easy.  I always considered myself lucky because I was nearly 60 years old before I started losing loved ones.  My maternal grandfather lived to be 104 and my paternal grandmother was 95.   So I found myself learning how to grieve at a late age.  

We hear talk about the circle of life. And I think I'm one of the odd ones who doesn't grieve the way most do.  There hasn't been a lot of wailing or heavy sobbing.  Sometimes the tears well up but the crying jags only last a few moments.  We all cope with it differently, but there's no doubt that we all feel the sadness that comes with loss.  And while we miss our loved ones, it should also serve as a reminder about how precious life is, and that we need to keep living in the moment, enjoying life every single day. 

Self Care isn't Selfish

When you're cranky and cry easily, when you are so tired that your eyes burn from keeping them open, when you need hugs and someone to pat the top of your head and whisper "Shh ... there, there .... " and there's no one around, what do you reach for??

We all have some sort of comfort foods that bring immediate relief. foods that we reach for.  For me, about once a year I just *have* to have those little pink and white animal cookies!  And sometimes it's a hot bowl of chicken noodle soup! When I was a kid, it was Campbell's bean with bacon soup and a grilled cheese sandwich!  

But there are other things we also can do that gives us some comfort, like a favorite pair of flannel jammies.  There's nothing better than crawling into them after a long hard day!!  Or slipping into a warm bubble bath.   It's just a matter of finding what works for you, and then doing it ---- without feeling any guilt about what we're doing for ourselves!  

We all need time away from family pressures, work pressures, money pressures.  Putting yourself on the top of your to-do list without feeling guilty about it reminds you that your mental and physical health are your top priority.  Finding what works for you to relieve the pressure even if it's only for a few minutes, is important.  If you're feeling empty or pressured, it's hard to take care of others.