Meltdown Into Spring

It was not a good night for me last night.  I was asleep early -- as I always am after working all day -- but I woke up after about 90 minutes with a belly ache.  I was thinking I had food poisoning or the flu so I turned on a DVD of MASH and watched TV to wait out the feeling bad.  A heating pad on my belly helped quite a bit.  Maybe I was sore from going to the gym on Thursday.

But as I'm watching MASH, it was an episode where BJ was missing his family, got drunk and started painting the camp red. When Hawkeye caught up with him, he spilled his hurt feelings to his friend.  And it got to me.  I had my own kind of meltdown, cried and cried some more over the loss of my son.  I know that I'll never truly get over it.

So today to combat the dregs leftover from the meltdown, I ventured out on a walk.  It was a hard frost last night, but once the sun came out, it felt warm even when it was only 50 degrees. But that didn't stop me from trying to find signs of spring.  I think I needed to have the reassurance that things are looking up.    A part of that plan in this new year is to take more photos as I'm taking my walks.

I found this tiny sprig of Texas Sage with a bloom. 
There will be more when it warms up,
but nice to find that first sign.

Finding positive things in life
after the loss of someone important
is one of the hardest things
a human goes through.