How much??

How much can a person endure?  When I was growing up, and then when raising both my kids who were classified as "handicapped"  -- old school word, but that's what it was -- I told myself that God wouldn't give me any more than I could handle.  But to put it another way, God would help me handle what I've been given. 

It's been a very difficult year, and I'm not sure how much I can handle now.  Because I'm handling it all on my own.  I'm trying to get estimates on having the roof replaced.  I still have some banking duties to get done concerning my son.  Whenever I attempt to get it handled, my anxiety kicks in (which causes digestive issues) and I have to scrap the trip.  Today in the mail, my bank notified me that my mortgage payment hasn't been deposited.  I logged in to the website, and yeah, there's no January payment.  AArgh!  And now, it's the weekend, nothing will get done.  Monday is my very busy work day and I'm not sure I'll have time to make a phone call -- guess I'll have to make the time. 

*shaking my head*

Then there's a problem with my HOA account and the payments I've been making. 
Just WTF is going on ????

I look back over the past six months, and I realize that I've not been myself.  Or that things are different, and I'm handling them differently.  Or there's the other side, I suppose, if I'm being honest.  Without my son, my purpose seems to be missing.  Sort of the whole "it doesn't matter if chore A or chore B gets done, no one's here to see it" kind of thing.  Too easy to just sit and veg out in front of the TV and do nothing. 

I make lists of things that need to be done ... sometimes they get done, and sometimes they don't.  I need to be a little more diligent, or to put in some effort again.

I'm hoping that spring and warmer temps will make a difference!!

Discouraged but not down and out,
more later!