I am what I eat

Day one of my Recomitment to ME.  Sugar is the worst craving in the world.  It digs its claws in and doesn't let go.  So how did I make it through my day?  While I went over my caloric intake goal of 1550 cals, (by 400 cals) I didn't indulge in any chocolate, or sweets, or extras while at work.  So that's a HUGE plus for me, I've been struggling with that for a month now.  One of my ways to curb that was Tazo tea (green tea with lemongrass and spearmint).  I just barely sweeten it with agave nectar.  That got me through the morning -- I just need a way to get some made in the afternoon and I'd be great!

When I get on the scale, I'm .. mortified.  Not because of the number as much as last year's 6 month effort is down the tubes, and I'm starting all over again.  Yes.  I know I can do it.  But I struggle with the "is it really worth it" mindset.  Because doing it means I can't have any of my fav foods any longer.  Yes, yes, I know -- people tell me all the time I can have things in moderation.  But do you say that to someone who's an alcoholic?  No.  Because moderation doesn't work.  One little slip and .... it can be a bad thing.

I've done the whole "it's not faaaaaiiiiiirrrrrr" thinking, and yeah, its not, but its up to me to accept that I have limitations, I have metabolism issues, my body doesn't function with calories the same way other bodies do.  So ok, that's the bottom line.  And that's what I'm stuck with.  There are some experts who say that a body's internal mechanism/clock can be reset if you eat certain foods, avoid other foods, and let all the organs that deal with insulin and the other metabolism chemicals get reset back to norms and things will be easier.  But .... if you read anything by one doc, there's another with a completely opposing viewpoint.  So who's to say what's right???

I can only choose what's right for me, and hope that how I'm treating my body is the best for me, for how I feel.  Afterall, I am what I eat.  And lately.... I feel like a huge fluffy glazed yeast doughnut.   Its no fun.  So I have to make efforts in another direction.  I started at 5:15am and walked Sadie around the block.  After I had my lunch, (20 minutes) I slipped into my headphones and made 3 laps around my store (that's just over a mile!) .....

One day down, a lifetime to go :)
I can DO this!