Microsoft... AAARRRGGHHH!

I installed Windows 10 ... and was surprisingly pleased with the results.  I've been using it for a couple of months now (I forget when I actually did this... not long ago, though).  Christmas morning, I sit down at the computer, I was going to do some photo scanning.  But lo and behold, my START button on the keyboard, and clicking it with the mouse did nothing.  I can't access anything.  I played around, trying to get things to work, then tried to restart my computer.  Without the buttons working, it just isn't that easy!  

This morning, when I turned my computer on, now I have nothing in the taskbar, and options seem to be disappearing with each keystroke.  I click on Chrome to look up helps on the internet, and minimizing it makes it disappear into thin air.  Attempting to flip between Task Manager and Chrome is impossible, I'm having to write down instructions to make this "fixed" again.

Every website I check says "make a new user account".  Well... that may be a temporary fix, but what the hell????  I don't want to do that every other month!?!?!

Com'on Microsoft, get your stuff back together and fix our computers!

I'm on a desktop, I depend on my computer, it shouldn't be this difficult!

****Updated Note:   I signed out of my account, signed back in, then restarted the computer.  and Voila, stuff is back.  Magic??? HA!  Weirdness?  More likely!   *smdh*

I Want You

This was totally random.... What are the odds?



I was driving home from work scanning through channels, tuned in heard Savage Garden's "I want You".

Me being me, I had to look it up when I got home and found myself surprised that it was released in 1997 in America; somehow, I was thinking it was a late 80's song.  Savage Garden is an Australian pop group, and I always liked their hits.   Of course, "Truly, Madly, Deeply" was the hit I liked the BEST!

Anytime I need to see your face, 

I just close my eyes 

And I am taken to a place where 

your crystal mind and 

Magenta feelings take up shelter 

in the base of my spine 

Sweet like a chic-a-cherry cola 

Ooh, I want you 

I don't know if I need you 

But, ooh, I'd die to find out 

My younger self came over me as I cranked the volume and belted it out right along with the band!  

But what was totally random was getting in the car the next morning, and this same song was on the radio!  Now, it's nearly 20 years later, and this wasn't a huge hit for them;  in 1997 it was #22 on the Top 100 Hits list.  It's not often played on the local "oldies" stations, so how random was it that it played -- and I heard it -- twice in a row?   You can hear it here on Vevo. 

I like little random-ness things like this! 

Holiday Music in OITNB

Orange is the New Black holiday episode entitled "Can't Fix Crazy" is terrific.  I am addicted to this show and find it amazing that this diverse group of women with their own problems and plenty of drama can come together, set differences aside, and create a holiday program for the rest of the inmates at Litchfield Prison.

Among the many diverse characters, there is one woman named Norma who doesn't speak because of a crippling stuttering problem.  There is another woman called Crazy Eyes who was scheduled to sing at her high school graduation and froze up, unable to sing.  Her current fear is having the same thing happen during the Christmas Pageant, which of course, happens.  There is a small miracle of joy that happens when Norma closes her eyes and sings so beautifully the verse to "I Saw the Light"

Just like a blind man I wandered along

Worries and fears I claimed for my own

Then like the blind man that God gave back his sight

Praise the Lord I saw the light.

I saw the light I saw the light

No more darkness no more night

Now I'm so happy no sorrow in sight

Praise the Lord I saw the light.

This scene is well touted on the 'net and is quite moving if you're a follower of mute Norma.  But in my opinion Samira Wiley, who plays Poussey Washington, sings in trio with Cindy and Taystee, "Joy to the World".  When they get done with their performance and take their bows, Poussey bursts into a solo of "Amazing Grace".  To me, it is just beautiful.  I've seen it many, many times and it still brings tears to my eyes.  

This drama is one of the best I've seen in a long time.  There are diverse characters, there are opportunities to learn backgrounds on the women who are incarcerated, and with every episode I find a new reason to like or dislike the many characters.

What will season 4 hold???

I can't wait to find out!!

Little Girl Dreams

My daughter, about 10 yrs old,

trying on her grandmother's wedding dress

-- dreaming, I'm sure, of her own

wedding day in the future.















This must have been the same day

trying on her aunt's wedding dress

as well!



So surreal, seeing these photos

as her real wedding day approaches!

Neighborhood Decorations

My little corner of the world

has lots of decorations up

and they're so fun

to see

as Sadie and I

are on our daily walks!

Brain Fried

It's a typical Monday, and after a weekend of busy in the retail setting, my backlog this morning was immense.  My job is physically demanding, I consistently pickup, move, load, unload boxes that usually average 25 lbs, but some can weigh up to 75 lbs.  I'm no stranger to heavy lifting, and have a good strong scandinavian build for doing just that.   I average 12k steps a day at work when it's this busy.  My job depends on me remembering minute details about a wide variety of things, and how to handle each individual exception as they arise.  After doing this for several years, it comes as second nature almost.

But how much harder is it to explain every detail as you're doing it?

Imagine your own job.  A problem comes up and you know what to do.  Now imagine explaining every step, and stating the reason for that step ... over and over again for 6 long hours?

Yes, that was my day.  I am training an employee at another store to do the job that I do.  However, the biggest difference is that I'm very .... um, anal, shall we say ... about making sure that the entire scope of what needs to be done gets done every single day.  I don't leave a pile of something to deal with until tomorrow, because tomorrow's work load might be twice as heavy as the current day.  That just doesn't work with what I do.

In training at the other BigBox store, they are days and weeks behind in the processing of vendor claims.  When a customer returns an item, the claims dept has 48 hours to completely process the item into its proper box with a vendor claim attached.  Today when we were working, we found items dated from 11/19/15 !    It causes a lot of angst in my perfectionist world having something sitting around for that long!!!

Still, I did what I could, tried my hardest to help them get caught up with things ...  but it can be a backwards slide if it's not getting done in a timely manner every single day.  I came home exhausted, shredded up some pork, added a dollop of ketchup and bbq sauce and ate that on a bun.  I'm just too tired to have to think about any more details today.

Urban Dictionary says this:  Brain Fried:   When your brain feels so overloaded with work/stress/homework that you can't think straight and temporarily don't feel like doing anything that takes too much thinking.

Yep, that's me.
Brain Fried.
Happy Monday.

Traditions

Today is a better busy day.  For me it was a "traditions" day.    Cranberry Splash in my glass;  Christmas Vacation on the TV, and wrapping presents.   Most of mine get sent out of town, so they have to be ready and wrapped early on.  After 15 Holiday Seasons as a retail worker, I've come to understand that's just how it is.  I've spent 2 of the last 15 holidays with my family.  Ten years ago I flew home to see my parents because my Dad had been ill.  And last year when my Dad died.  That's not many holidays with family, but that means I've had to create my own traditions.

Because retail stores are closed Christmas Day, (at least they are for now) it's usually the day I spend on me.  In years past when I had a perm, that was the day I gave myself a perm, loaded up DVD after DVD and just chilled out.  Many times alone, because my kids would spend the holiday with their own dad.  Acceptance comes when you have no choice in the matter.  And in the long run, it's all ok.

When my kids were little, they would usually return for New Years.   New Years Eve was usually crammed full of traditions.  We would have an early afternoon supper, then open Christmas gifts.  That night it would be rounds of Bingo (with prizes, of course!) and "make your own sundaes" with every known topping (and boy could the kids make messy sundaes!)  And then it would be midnight, a brand new year, and the holiday season behind us.

When you're not a traditional family, you find ways to make things work.  You create traditions that can be carried out on any day, not only on the exact holiday.  It's my biggest hope that my kids remember these traditions fondly.  I know I sure do!

Weird Days

I don't know if you do this or not, but I'm the type who likes to have a plan for the day.  It may not always be specific, and is ALWAYS subject to change, but a plan to start the day helps.


Yesterday was our "one trip shopping" discount at my BigBox store:  25% off one entire purchase, and this year I went all out:  a new TV and entertainment center for the living room!  It's way past time for the 12 year old TV to take a hike. haha  After pulling two shopping carts through the store in order to get all the stuff I wanted - and needed - I had the task of loading it all into my car.  The hardest piece was the entertainment center.   Being too big for the back seat, it had to go in the trunk, with the lid tied down.  I tacked on this little Santa Hat as my "red flag" to other drivers. hehehehe


After getting it all in the house and unloaded, I moved furniture, emptied out the old entertainment center and figured that Saturday morning would be a perfect time to start Assembling.  But once the pieces were all laid out, I found out that I was short 8 compression dowels.   Ugh.  I called the company (as the instructions read to do) and found the company isn't open on weekends.  After pondering for all of 10 seconds, I hopped in the car and headed to Home Depot.  They had dowels, the right diameter, but an inch too short.  I headed for Lowes, right length, but too fat.  Looks like I will have all these parts scattered all over until I can get more dowels shipped to me.   Which means I didn't take out and inspect my new TV and give that a whirl either!

So much for Saturday's Plan A.   Turns out that my Plan B was to clean the garage out a bit.  My son hasn't been home in over 5 days, and frankly, all the "stuff" he has in there is slowly encroaching on what little space I use in the garage:  the washer and dryer!  I didn't move TOO many things (after all, if I move things, as a man, he will never find them again! hahahah), and I got the floor swept and the corners vacuumed out.  At least I was productive in that area!

After all that, I decided that Sadie needed another walk, and I wasn't in the mood to walk the streets, so we headed to the local riparian preserve and circled around some of our favorite areas.  Lots of people out enjoying this beautiful day in the Valley of the Sun - and many of them dressed up for holiday photo shoots!   Always fun :)

Tired

Tired, so very tired.... That's been the theme of this weekend.  I am finding that as I age, when my schedule is thrown off, it takes longer for me to recover.

I worked a noon to 9pm shift on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day (yeah, thanks BigBox Store) and then a 5-2pm shift on Friday.   I came home that day, took a 2 hour nap, woke up, had supper then back to bed for another 10 hours of sleep.  You'd think after all that, I'd feel a little more caught up.   Nope.

Saturday was a lazy day all around, with very little getting done.  Sunday is my usual chores day, and I had a heck of a time getting up and getting going.  We had frost on the rooftops this morning, it's been very chilly, but I forced myself out of bed at 8:30 to dress and start the day --walking Sadie, of course!  Then headed over to the gym for a 30 minute round on the elliptical machine, just thinking that getting things moving would make me less sleepy.   But I came home and dozed while watching TV.    Will I ever be caught up???

I found a wonderful chiffon duster/jacket that I think will look perfect over the dress I found for The Wedding in April.  I also found a coupon for 35% off (Black Friday/Weekend special!)  Can't wait for it to arrive and see how it looks together.

I did a little bit of paperwork and my laundry today - boring but necessary chores that never quit.  I tried to do a little Tabata training with some squats -- but Sadie kept stepping on my phone screen and stopping the timer.   lol   Silly pup!


I glared at my Christmas Tree, which is in a box in the garage, right over the washer/dryer.  I thought -- for about 2 seconds -- that it would be nice and cheery to put it up.  But I decided against it.  I would put it up in the living room, but I never sit in there.  I work and hit the gym.  I come home, I walk the dog, I make dinner, and then the evening is over, I'm ready for bed.   Maybe when there's a new TV out there and I can watch something interesting....  We'll see.

Until then ... hurry up, January!

Medicine Wheel

For as long as I can remember, I've been fascinated by spiritualisms that don't come directly from religion.  One of them is the Medicine Wheel from Native Americans.  While I don't claim to know a lot about them, there is something about nature, the seasons, that call to me.  I enjoy being out in nature, and have always been a rock collector.  When I read something about a Medicine Wheel being rocks placed in a pattern, I knew I had to read up on them more.

While none of us understand the pre-life, the after-life, or whatever else is beyond our small moment in time on this Earth, one can't help but marvel at the way things line up in what some refer to the Circle of Life.  So I did a little digging, trying to find words .....

"It is widely accepted that the Medicine Wheel is a symbol of life and specifically the Circle of Life.  As well known the circle represents perfection as well as infinites since the circle has no beginning or end.  There can many reasons behind the meaning of the circle itself among Nations. This can range from representing the Sun, Moon, Earth, and the Stars to representing concepts of life, continuity, consciousness, energy, and so much more.  It should be stressed that this is not the same from Nation to Nation and there can be some representation that is very secret."

There are so many different things that could be represented by the four point in a Medicine Wheel:

• "The Four Directions:  East, South, West, North
• 
  
• The Four Seasons: Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter
• 
  
• The Four Stages of Life: Birth, Youth, Adult, Death
• 
  
• The Four Times of Day: Sunrise, Noon, Sunset, Midnight
• 
  
• The Four Elements of Life: Earth, Fire, Water, Wind
• 
  
• The Four Races of Man: Red, Yellow, Black, White
• 
  
• The Four Trials of Man: Success, Defeat, Peace, War
• 
  
• The Heavenly Beings: Sun, Moon, Earth, Stars"

(Borrowed, read more here )

"Native American traditions were not based on a fixed set of beliefs or on an interpretation of sacred writings, but on the knowledge of the rhythm of life which they received through the observation of Nature. And what they observed is that there are no straight lines in Nature. All of Nature expresses itself in circular patterns. This can be seen in something as small and simple as a bird's nest as well as in things much greater such as the cycle of the seasons or the cycle of life (birth, death, rebirth). And therefore, to Native American peoples, the circle or wheel represents Wakan-Tanka ("the Great Everything" or Universe) and also one's own personal space or personal universe.

Native American "Medicine" is not the same as the modern medicine that we think of today. It is not a pill or a procedure or anything else that can be used to improve one's physical health. When Native Americans refer to "Medicine", they are referring to the vital power or force that is inherent in Nature itself, and to the personal power within oneself which can enable one to become more whole or complete.

Medicine = energy = power = knowledge

The most widely used version of the Medicine Wheel comes from the Lakota tradition. At its most basic, it consists of a large or special center stone to represent Wakan-Tanka, the Great Everything, and four smaller stones to represent the cardinal directions (N, S, E, W)."

(Borrowed, Read more here)

I've always been one to say that Knowledge is power -- someone more intelligent or famous than I probably said it first -- but it seems to be true.  Having gained knowledge about these Circles of Life, I felt the need to create my own.  They come in all sizes, you can even have a small one you arrange on a table or desk.  I decided that my own backyard would be a good start.  As I've been a rock collector for years, I have quite a few to choose from, and those I have "relocated" from my travels to my home were a good option.   When I select a stone, it's usually based on shape, content and appeal.  And sometimes just a little intuition that says "take me home", as well.

I walked my yard, picked several pieces, and began making my wheel, placing stones in the Four Directions.  Then selecting stones, I decided on the number seven - seven stones between each larger stone, and seven stones for each spoke.  I said small little prayers as I placed different stones, with whatever came to mind for change, peace, joy, love, etc.

Do I have any great expectations or miracles to come to me within a certain length of time?  Of course not, this isn't like making a wish and blowing out candles.  It's more like finding your way, finding your own peace within - sometimes that happens when we are doing simple things that focus our attention away from "outside world self" and refocus on the person we are on the inside.

Sometimes, we need to get outside our norms
in order to find that which we are seeking.
I think I achieved a little of that today.

Thankful

Thanksgiving is here.  Yes, it's tomorrow, but I'm not feelin' the holiday at all.  That's because for yet another year of the holiday season, I cannot be with family, for I am a retail worker.

This is my 16th holiday season in retail, and my BigBox store is open ... along with nearly every other retailer.  Those select few that close so their employees can enjoy family time?  Those are the retailers that we should endorse, embrace, and spend our money with them.   Home Depot comes to mind -- and come the weekend when I have an opportunity to shop, that's where I'm headed.  (Hope Mom and Sis like tools for Christmas!  haha)

I was vexed all day at work, because this year, for the first time, our store is bent on saving payroll dollars.  Mind you, in order to have a successful "Black Friday", customers need to be able to come in and purchase those special items that have been advertised for the past two weeks - ad nauseam, I might add.   In the past, we have all worked a 40 hour week in order to set up and get things ready for Black Friday.  There would be an additional 8 hours of holiday pay on our paycheck, which most of us retail workers would use on the special discount day to make our Christmas purchases.

This year, they cut our work hours to 32 hours; with holiday pay, we will have our normal 40 hour paycheck -- without any extra spending money to make purchases.  Historically, I have spent $350-400 on that one special shopping day, knowing that I would have a little extra in my check to pay it off.  I was SO looking forward to upgrading from my 12 year old TV to a flat screen.  Sorry, BigBox store, I won't be adding to your sales figures, I will only be making my usual $100/week grocery shopping.   Seems to me like they're ... what's that old saying?  Cutting off their nose to spite their face.   Sure, they're saving payroll dollars.  But that extra $100 you saved in payroll means you won't be gaining my shopping spree of $350.  So did they really save anything???

Sometimes the people who make decisions based on numbers alone don't think about the bigger picture.  (I know our store is guilty of that in many, many different ways!)  Or maybe the higher ups are hoping the numbers will "look good on paper" and their own end of year bonus will be a big one.

But this is one retail worker who is particular.  I have a network of friends who do what I do at other locations, and you know, if I decide to go ahead and make the splurge and update my TV situation, I will spend my hard earned dollars at the store where the store manager looked out for his/her employees, didn't take away that extra day's pay from people who work very hard at a job that isn't very glamorous and doesn't pay all that well.

Maybe this is a sign that I start looking for a store
who's overall outlook is more similar to my own.
It seems logical that I would be happier in the long run.

In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving to you!
And even though work issues are in the forefront for the moment,
I'm so thankful for my family, my friends and my health.

“We must find time to stop and thank the people 

who make a difference in our lives.”

-- John F. Kennedy