Holiday: Over!!

And just like that, the holidays are over.  Its a relief for me; has been for many years.  Putting all of it away for another year lifts a burden, and I'm happy to put things back to rights in the house.  I'm sure my plant is happy to have the sunshine back!!

Mom called and she caught my flu. A news flash says the norovirus is causing virulent stomach flu and ... it caught up with us.  

To combat this, I ordered my groceries for pickup today so I don't need to wander the store and expose myself, since I'm certain my immune system is not up to par.  But a little more rest and maybe I will have this all in the past.

I hope none of you catch this thing, its awful!

Frosty, et al

Christmas TV shows ..... as a kid I can remember checking the TV Guide and planning the week of TV shows so we could watch Frosty the Snowman, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the Peanuts special, and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.  

Today, Mr Z informed me he knows the Frosty song,  but had never seen the TV show.  So I pulled up HULU and we watched.  He chuckled over the rabbit named Hocus-Pocus !!

The Frosty show was created in 1969, 55 years ago.  Where does the time go??  Its the little memories like these that make me smile!

Fam Time Tuesday

Tuesday evening, mom and I watch my nephew's kids while he works.  As always, they're a handful of energy and fun. And sometimes, they can be a little bit much. But that's just being kids.

Last night, they were wound up tight.  We kept them busy turning paper plates into pumpkins.   Err, jack-o-lanterns.  Then a few rounds of corn hole.  By then the Wold Series game was on, and mom was ready to settle in to watch. 

I tried to entertain the kids with a Match game, but they continued to argue and fuss.  It had just grown dark, so we took a walk to check out the Halloween decorations on houses. Wasn't much, but the walk did them good.  I know it was good for me!

I think part of the reason they were so wound up is my nephew, J has a girlfriend.  And she was coming over.  It was interesting to observe the kids with her, but I see potential for problems. She had promised to make cookies with the kids, and then had to put off that promise because its a school night.  Kids are funny, they have their own ways, we'll have to see how this works out.  

In the meantime, no gym today as I need to wash my car and do some household chores.  Plus its a gorgeous 70 degrees and that makes folks want to be outdoors  ... me included!!!

Someone Special

Dear Brian,

Here it is, the first holiday without you.  Thanksgiving.  A day when you think about all the things you're grateful for.  It was hard to think about you -- you wouldn't breeze in the front door this year. 

Because I work retail, that means I worked on Thanksgiving day - just like the past 10 years.  But that doesn't mean it's a day that's like any other day.  It's still a day to be grateful, and still a day that is celebrated, even though it may be on some other day.  For me, it was Saturday.  And that was a very difficult day.  I sat on the couch, TV running, but it felt like I was waiting for that moment when you'd come home.  And it didn't happen.  Simple things made me sad, and I cried for a little while because I miss you very much.

It was a rough work day, the store was busy both Thurs and Friday.  And our new management team decided that we all needed to work a 10 hour shift on Thurs .... until 11 pm!  I am a morning person, so that didn't work so well for me.

I thought of you often during the holiday, and found a little poem:

Those we love don't go away

they walk beside us every day

unseen, unheard but always near

still loved, still missed, and very dear.

I used that on the last page of the annual calendar I create and print for family each year.  And I hope it helps the rest of them like it does me, to remember that you're always as close as can be, because you're my son and I love you.

Love,
mom

Holiday Tree

Dear Brian,

The holidays are coming up really quick - like they always do!  I don't usually put up the tree, but I did this year.  I used the stairs you built for Sadie to set it on because I cant put it in the bay window -- that's Sadie's spot!  Not too many ornaments on it, but the lights are cheerful, and I need some of that.

I boxed up gifts for the family,  getting them ready to send off.  It's been an effort for me, but I have to make the effort.  Otherwise it would be too easy to just be a couch potato watching TV and doing nothing.

I also boxed up all your Legos. There's a website to print a sticker and send them back to the Legos folks; they recycle them to under privileged kids.  I thought that would be fitting for the huge box that you have.  I hope you approve. 

Work has been hectic and keeps me busy - sorta busy.  There's work to do, but when work runs low, it's hard to find "busy work" to keep going.  Used to be we could go home early when work was slow, but now if you clock in or out early, you get "points" against your attendance.  Accumulating points takes away from whatever quarterly bonus there might be.  It's pretty sad that it's all so black and white, with no input regarding the person or their circumstances.  Back in the 80s I told myself I wanted to work for a Fortune 500 company -- and now that I do?  Well, the grass isn't always greener ..... *sigh*

I force myself to keep busy so that I don't dwell on missing you.  And when I can't get up the gumption to keep busy, I don't do anything -- the TV keeps me company during those days.  Lately I've taken to watching MASH.  Not sure why I find that OK, but it works.  For now. 

I cooked bacon wrapped potatoes today ... makes the house smell terrific. They went well with the tri-tip burger I had for supper. 

Sadie has taken to sitting on my lap often, and I'm not sure why.  It's kinda cute, especially now that the cold weather is here -- it keeps me warm! 

I started a To Do list so that I can keep track of things I think need to be taken care of, and being able to cross things off the list makes it feel as if I'm getting things accomplished. 

Because we're all working "Brown Thursday", I'll get my 15% discount next Friday.  I have a list of things I'd like to get then, including a carpet cleaner for pets.  Going out and renting the Rug Doctor isn't so easy when you're not here to help. 

I miss you every day, not just for doing things, but your humor, your laughter and the joy of having another person in the house.   I'd better close this and get ready for bed -- tomorrow will be a long shift from noon to 11pm.  YICK

love,
mom

It's January!

I haven't posted in a while. Here I am, blogging from my new laptop.  Nothing fancy about it, just another way to get things done, with a little mobility.

The holi-daze is behind us all, and I'm certainly glad for it.  It becomes more of a chore than a pleasure at times because in retail, we've been looking at holiday "gear" for months now. Finally it's over!  The last of it will be cleared out of my store in a week, and I couldn't be happier!! Back to some normal work flow again *fingers crossed*

An update on my "Elvis saga" :  He's back at my store, but my understanding was he would be working as an associate until his papers for pharmacy tech comes through, then he would be transferring stores.  Doesn't look like that's gonna happen, since we're still stuck with him.  But he's an amazing piece of work.  I walked into the lounge for my lunch break around 2:30pm and there he was, taking his afternoon break.  I sat there for my entire 30 minute lunch period, and he was still there when I left.  So, still up to his old tricks. 

The next day, I was in the lounge again for another meal, and he waltzed in, grabbed the remote to the TV and proceeded to change the channel to his liking.  A woman at a ping pong table was prancing around wearing shorty shorts and a bikini top.  She turned this way and that, dropping a shoulder strap, turned her back to the screen, untied her top and spun toward the camera again, using the ping pong paddles to block the view of her bare breasts.  She turned and spun again, bending over with her butt facing the camera.  Of course, with shorty shorts, not much was covered, and proceeded to use the paddles to spank herself in a seductive way. I slammed my book closed and walked out, going to find a member of management, but didn't find one in time.

Today, he did it again in a room full of other women.  One was upset, came down the hall and I was able to flag down a member of management to go in and see what was going on.  The manager asked what he was watching and why?  That it was offensive to women.  Of course, in his Elvis way, he chuckles as if he's a teenager being caught red handed with a Penthouse and that he didn't see anything wrong with it.

Now, mind you, I'm not offended by soft porn; but there's a time and place ..... and I certainly do NOT want to know how a 65+ year old co-worker gets his jollies.  It gives me the willies!!   Personally, I think it was inappropriate for the workplace.  And I'm crossing my fingers that people who were offended today will write a statement.  From what I gathered, this wasn't the first time he's played this particular channel in front of other co-workers.

Why is it one thing after another with some people?  I know the real answer has to do with the other person more than it does with me, but when I'm pulled into his orbit, it really bothers me, and I do everything I can to stay away.

Holidays, errr -daze

For The Sake Of Our Brother 

In a stable, in a manger

In the cold winter's air

In the arms of his mother

A child's lying there

In a city, in a village

Though the years have gone by

The child still remains

With the dream still close by

And each year on this night that child reawakens

And each year on this night that hope re-begins

That the dream he has offered might one day be taken

Trans Siberian Orchestra's "Lost Christmas Eve" has become one of my all time favorite tunes to play, to get me into the Christmas spirit.  It's become very difficult as year after year my holidays are spent working, prepping a BigBox store for the rest of the world to shop and create holiday magic for their own families.  I've worked retail for 16 holiday seasons now, and I've spent a total of two of them with family.  One because my father had been hospitalized in 2004, and 10 years later when he died.  Neither one of them were the joyous family gatherings they should have been.  Mind you, I'm not complaining (much!).  It's just a difficult life that anyone in any kind of service industry has when holidays are here, and we're not able to spend it with family.  

So thank you to those who provide services so that others can have their happy holidays:  

hospital staff, hotel staff, restaurant staff, retail staff, safety/city services staff.  

All deserve so much more recognition than is given!

 Family is the reason for the season!

Neighborhood Decorations

My little corner of the world

has lots of decorations up

and they're so fun

to see

as Sadie and I

are on our daily walks!

Traditions

Today is a better busy day.  For me it was a "traditions" day.    Cranberry Splash in my glass;  Christmas Vacation on the TV, and wrapping presents.   Most of mine get sent out of town, so they have to be ready and wrapped early on.  After 15 Holiday Seasons as a retail worker, I've come to understand that's just how it is.  I've spent 2 of the last 15 holidays with my family.  Ten years ago I flew home to see my parents because my Dad had been ill.  And last year when my Dad died.  That's not many holidays with family, but that means I've had to create my own traditions.

Because retail stores are closed Christmas Day, (at least they are for now) it's usually the day I spend on me.  In years past when I had a perm, that was the day I gave myself a perm, loaded up DVD after DVD and just chilled out.  Many times alone, because my kids would spend the holiday with their own dad.  Acceptance comes when you have no choice in the matter.  And in the long run, it's all ok.

When my kids were little, they would usually return for New Years.   New Years Eve was usually crammed full of traditions.  We would have an early afternoon supper, then open Christmas gifts.  That night it would be rounds of Bingo (with prizes, of course!) and "make your own sundaes" with every known topping (and boy could the kids make messy sundaes!)  And then it would be midnight, a brand new year, and the holiday season behind us.

When you're not a traditional family, you find ways to make things work.  You create traditions that can be carried out on any day, not only on the exact holiday.  It's my biggest hope that my kids remember these traditions fondly.  I know I sure do!

Merry Christmas!

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. ( Luke 2:11)

and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counseller, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.  (Isaiah 9:6)

Merry Christmas to you, readers!

I hope your day is merry and bright.  Here at the home I grew up in, its both joyous and sad.  We are sharing lots of stories of the past, and remembering those who are no longer with us.  My paternal grandmother passed a few years ago, along with my maternal grandfather, my Uncle Jim just two years ago, along with a few cousins.  And of course, my Dad just a couple of days ago.

When you have family, you have everything. Even the ones who aren't physically with us, we carry in our hearts, and always will.  My mother's grandsons, my nephews, have been good to stop in and see to whatever needs to be done.  It's been a joy to spend a holiday with Jake, Brandon, Triston and Anthony.  :)  

As your faith is strengthened 

you will find that there is no longer the need 

to have a sense of control, 

that things will flow as they will, 

and that you will flow with them, 

to your great delight and benefit. 

~Emmanuel

No matter what your faith,
no matter how you believe,
we all need faith,
something bigger than us
to believe in.
Happy Holidays!
May the rest of 2014 be joyous and blessed!!

Merry Christmas Eve!

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve has always been full of traditions in our family.  Granted, this year feels a little bit different, not having Dad here with us.  Of course, the other thing that's different is that I am home; I have only spent one other Christmas with my family since 1997.  Because we shot up here in a real big hurry, we came unprepared for a celebration.

But my Aunt and I are --very-- good shoppers!  We get a notion in our head, and zoom off to the store, where we typically find what we're looking for!  It was the same again this morning when we ventured out.  My mom's sister in MN wanted my Aunt to find an LED Garden Angel so that was our purpose this morning.... and on the spur of the moment, we dashed into a local nursery where we found two of them... for 75% off!   heh talk about being in the right spot at the right time!!

The other focus this morning was getting some carpenter's pencils.  When I was growing up, being the oldest it was often my job to help Dad hold things while he cut, measured, or whatever else.  But no matter the project, he had a carpenter's pencil to make his mark.  So I bought several so that each of us could have one in memory of my Dad.  :)

We will enjoy a family meal of Swedish Meatballs, then head over to church to sing carols by candlelight.  Afterward its snacks and opening gifts.  Every year when I am here, I create a scavenger hunt for a gift.  This year, my "victim" is Triston.  It should be fun and entertaining, a good distraction from ... all the other things going on here. 

Family matters.... spend some time with yours!

It's little moments that create a lifetime of memories,

may you make bunches of memories this holiday season! 

Tis the Season....

...and everyone's extremely busy with all that goes on in life around the holidays. No exception here, either. Because I work in retail, totally busy days don't leave much time for working on a To Do list; just the bare essentials get done on some days. I'm sure its the same with some of you, as well.

But this is the time I can celebrate something else: one year ago, I signed papers and bought my first house. It's been a good year *knock on wood* Even though my AC unit quit in the middle of summer, much of the cost was covered by my warranty -- a very good investment, in my opinion! Life has been good to me in Arizona, and I am extremely grateful for the people who have touched my life in one way or another. (ya'll know who you are!!) Work has been plentiful, no loss of hours, or wage cuts have affected me, and in this economy, that's very good news!

I'm not sure how many of you have put up a tree this year. I debated back and forth over putting up my tree, but finally relented, and it's up. It looks so cheerful standing tall in front of my bay window. Last year, I put up the Christmas tree in the new house, but it stood there looking so lonely as it was the only thing in the living room! This year, the traditions officially start, and the tree in front of the window is the first step, it appears. Which got me thinking: How do you feel when you put up your tree? Do you remember all the times you decorated your tree in the past? Are there traditions that you might not even be aware of? the location? when you decorate? who helps? I love the smell of a fresh cut tree; it brings back so many memories of growing up. We'd travel up over the hill to Santa Cruz to find the perfect tree, cut it down, then driving back, we'd stop at the beach, or maybe for pizza on the way home. The tree always sat in a bucket of water on the back patio until the next weekend (to get the bugs shaken off? give it a good drink? haha) And decorating the tree was for everyone to share in. I liked doing the strings of tinsel! *Note: You will not find any of that on my tree -- It was messy!

My daughter related a story to me: It seems my granddaughter, who is 8, decided to be a good helper while her mom was napping, and assemble the Christmas tree herself. I guess the small branches are toward the bottom, the bigger branches toward the top. I have this image of an upside down triangle shaped tree!! And bless her, she did it all by herself! :)

Tis the Season HUGGGS to everyone!

Holidays alone

It's officially the Holiday Season. The infamous "Black Friday" sales are over. Today is "Cyber Monday", another manic day of online shopping, if that's your thing. But by the time we reach the later years of life, things just aren't the same. How do we keep the sparks alive when things are so different now? I found a list of things to keep in mind that just might help:

• I don't have to hide purchases in the trunk of the car any more.
• I can stay in my pajamas all weekend long.
• I can eat pizza for breakfast, or have pancakes for dinner.
• I can spread all my papers and books on the other side of the bed and leave them there til I'm finished.
• I don't have to make an appointment to spend half an hour in the tub.
• I can watch a wonderful old movie at 3am without keeping the volume down.
• I don't have to share my closets with anyone.
• I can dress up for the fun of it without anyone asking "What's the occasion?"
• I can tear pages out of magazines and newspapers without waiting for anyone else to read them first.
• I don't have to tune out the clamor of someone else's choice in music, television, or video.
• I can spend Saturday reading and catch up on the housework whenever.
• I can eat anything in my own refrigerator at any time.
• I can celebrate any darn thing I want to with an expensive bottle of wine.
• I'm always happy with my own birthday present.
• I don't have to stop everything to catch the score, unless I want to.
• I don't have to explain myself, ever.

None of this may sound like it will lead to living romantically, but it has to start somewhere. If you're feeling sorry for yourself because of loves lost, try and discover a few reasons to be grateful for your singleness in the moment.

Love After Love
~Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other's welcome.

And say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
To itself, to the stranger who has loved you.

All your life, whom you ignored
For another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
The photographs, the desperate notes,
Peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

HUGS to help celebrate YOU!

My Most Memorable 4th

It was 1996, and the trip of a lifetime. Early on the morning of the 4th, I hopped a plane to Dulles Airport. When I arrived, I rented a car and made my way toward Washington DC. Unsure of myself, where I was going, or what I would find, I parked the car and made my way to a Metro station, little muni trains to take me to The Mall. Once there, I was amazed at all the people, all the things to see. It was hot, there were vendors everywhere selling water, lemonade and the likes. I walked and walked, seeing everything I could: the Viet Nam wall; the Lincoln Memorial; the Washington Memorial; the reflecting pool. It was a life changing experience, and I did this alone! What an adventure! An announcement regarding a parade was made, and I flopped where I was in the grass, my head resting on my purse.... and promptly fell asleep! Guess it wasn't out of the ordinary, no one bothered me! However, I missed the parade, and got up to make my way to some shade for relief from the heat.

There's something special about being in what would be considered a very patriotic place for the 4th. If your imagination works overtime, you get a sense of the history, the people, who forged a country out of nothing but a few beliefs. If you're considering a trip to DC, make it a reality. It's definitely worth it.

I had hoped to get there again while living in Ohio, but that's another story .... :)

Patriotic HUGS to everyone!

It's the thought that counts!

I'm always amazed when Christmas rolls around how commercialized its gotten. And moreso every year (or is that my age showing?) But when did we shift from "It's the thought that counts" to "How much money did you spend?"

I can remember being a youngster, maybe 12 or 13, and going to the local strip mall where there was something called Rasco Drug, and a K-Mart across the street. I felt so grown up to be shopping for my family on my own. I'd head into the stores with my $20-$40 (depending on how good babysitting had been!) and shop for hours, selecting just the right gifts. I am not sure I could tell you the things I bought, nor would I be convinced that my family would remember those gifts from long ago. But it wasn't about the things, as it was the thought. Trying to find that certain something so they would know that I cared about them.

When did expectations outgrow our pocketbooks?

In a convo with someone recently, we talked about "the little things". And I realized that ... its not just at Christmas time that the little things mean so much. It's all the time. What better way to say "I care about you" than with the little things. Knowing me, and what I need; the touch of a hand; brushing my hair from my eyes, being interested in my day. a flower plucked from the garden; a love note where I least expect it; something unexpected. (thank you KD, for "getting it"!!!! )

And even at Christmas, it wouldn't be about the money. It wouldn't be about the present. It would be about the gift of giving yourself, letting others know that you know them, care what they're about, what moves them. That would be the ultimate gift. Maybe I'm getting too old for Christmas. Or maybe sometimes I feel like I can't compete. I can say that I'm sort of like the crazy aunt everyone seems to have in their families.

For the last few years, the packages I have sent my nephews have been ... lets call them interesting. Or funny. :) I will usually get some kinds of 'goodies' and wrap them up. A package of Top Ramen, a pack of gum, or fruit roll ups, travel soaps. Just oddities, mostly edible --- after all, they ARE teenage boys! haha And then, wrapping it uniquely. Sometimes one within another, so that by the time they've opened my gift, they've had to unwrap about 10 items. The ones I like best are the ones where its a treasure hunt. I'll write up clues, and they have to figure out where the next hiding place is, to find something little wrapped up, along with the next treasure hunt note. But... that's just me :)

In another family, we drew names. Then had a limit of $1 to spend.... we'd all (about 15 of us!) troop to the dollar store, with our dollar in our hands. Trying hard not to let the rest of the family see what we're buying. Then we would head home, and get our gifts wrapped. Sometimes that gift had to be embellished in order to make it just perfect. I hope the kids all remember that as fondly as I do :)

Don't let the commercialism convince you to spend more than you can afford. Take some time this year to make it about the thought, and not the money. I've heard of folks using the "Make it or Bake it" rule of thumb. And for busy folks, there is nothing nicer than something home made from your own kitchen!

HUGS and happy shopping to everyone!!