Chores

I raised my two kids and four stepkids with the concept of chores - every one needs to do chores.  Kids need to learn to do things on their own to make them successful adults. They need to pitch in and know the value of teamwork.  Families stay close when you balance chores and fun.  And IMO, people of all ages need to feel needed. 

That being said, we watched Mr Z and it was a gorgeous day in the Valley of the Sun, so we decided to wash my car.  He'd never helped wash a car before, so we hauled out the hose, filled a bucket with soap and water to make some suds and got to work. Personally, I think he liked playing with the hose more than anything.  What 7 year old doesn't?

But what made me chuckle is when I picked him up from school.  We walked to my car, and he looked it over and said, "Man, we just washed the car and now the birds have pooped all over it. Again."  Hehehe he has a way about him!  

Frosty, et al

Christmas TV shows ..... as a kid I can remember checking the TV Guide and planning the week of TV shows so we could watch Frosty the Snowman, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the Peanuts special, and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.  

Today, Mr Z informed me he knows the Frosty song,  but had never seen the TV show.  So I pulled up HULU and we watched.  He chuckled over the rabbit named Hocus-Pocus !!

The Frosty show was created in 1969, 55 years ago.  Where does the time go??  Its the little memories like these that make me smile!

Fam Time Tuesday

Tuesday evening, mom and I watch my nephew's kids while he works.  As always, they're a handful of energy and fun. And sometimes, they can be a little bit much. But that's just being kids.

Last night, they were wound up tight.  We kept them busy turning paper plates into pumpkins.   Err, jack-o-lanterns.  Then a few rounds of corn hole.  By then the Wold Series game was on, and mom was ready to settle in to watch. 

I tried to entertain the kids with a Match game, but they continued to argue and fuss.  It had just grown dark, so we took a walk to check out the Halloween decorations on houses. Wasn't much, but the walk did them good.  I know it was good for me!

I think part of the reason they were so wound up is my nephew, J has a girlfriend.  And she was coming over.  It was interesting to observe the kids with her, but I see potential for problems. She had promised to make cookies with the kids, and then had to put off that promise because its a school night.  Kids are funny, they have their own ways, we'll have to see how this works out.  

In the meantime, no gym today as I need to wash my car and do some household chores.  Plus its a gorgeous 70 degrees and that makes folks want to be outdoors  ... me included!!!

Listen Close and BBQ's (2008)

Listen Closely - Feb 29, 2008

Today, unpacking boxes, I found an old little tin that [way back in Ohio days] used to sit near the dining room table.   Inside, I started looking through all the scraps of paper that had accumulated.  And it made me smile, remembering how it was when we were transitioning into a new step family, blending two sets of kids.  We would eat dinner around a huge table (a 4'x8' plywood slab!).  And we needed to come up with an idea to get the kids talking, thinking, and not grousing at each other all the time.  So we made up 3x5 cards with questions or sayings:

• "The nicest thing someone did for me this week was _____.  The nicest thing I did for someone else was _____." 
• "Name two things that make you feel happy."
• "Name something you do well."
• "If I had a million dollars... "
• "What are two things you're thankful for?"
• "If you see someone without a smile, give him one of yours."
• "A task worth doing and friends worth having make life worth living."
• "Good habits are just as hard to break as bad ones."
• "Every job has its problems.  A key consideration in choosing a career is determining what type of problems you enjoy solving."

I'm sitting here, wondering if my kids will read this, and remember the good times, the good discussions.  One of the things I truly enjoyed was the conversations that came out of a simple "starter" quote. 

If you take the time to listen to kids, you'll hear some pretty amazing things!
And it made me realize that ... its not just kids we need to listen to. 
Its adults and those around us, as well. 
So, listen hard next time, and see what comes from your next conversation!

BBQ Time! - Mar 1, 2008

Current mood:hungry

Cooking meat over a fire is surely one of mankind's earliest cooking feats. 

Tonight, as I was taking out some trash, neighbors were having a BBQ --- and with the sun down, the temps just a bit cooler, the breeze so slight, -- the aroma was heavenly! It made my mouth water as I imagined biting into a juicy burger, dripping with BBQ sauce...  So I had to look it up, see if there was any good info on Google about BBQ. 

"The mystery begins with the name. Theories abound, but certainty is a lost cause. Some think it may come from the French in Louisiana: "barbe a queue" translated as "from whiskers to tail," which is a neat description of a whole roasted beast. (And seconded by the Oxford English Dictionary, which credits the origin of the word to French-speaking Haiti). Others feel that the Spanish "barbacoa" is more likely. Yet others look to early advertisements for bar, beer, and pool establishments --bar-beer-cue. Some name a Texas ranch, with the brand --BQ on their cattle, legendary for their hospitality. Who knows?"

"Although cooking meat over an open fire in the outdoors was known to all cultures at one time, the niceties of digging a pit, to allow for concentrated heat and smokiness to develop was forgotten in Europe by the time the first colonists to Jamestown arrived. Following the lead of the local Indians, pit barbecue was quickly rediscovered, and has remained popular. "

If you look up any of the websites of the "History of BBQ" , no matter which version fits your own idea of BBQ, remember.... Barbecue is more than a meal. It is an event. People gather for good barbecue, whether invited or not. Barbecue is an event that gathers people around a fire to watch, smell and eat. Like the fires of prehistory, this is the place to eat, drink, and tell stories.  

Enjoy!!

Two Blondes

Life sure can be funny sometimes!  

My daughter and I are arranging our schedules in order to take a quick trip to Calif to see my mom. We were trying to make arrangements via text on the same airline, same flight.  We agreed on the flight number there, and back.  Finally!   The whole process took about an hour going back and forth.

A week later she sends me an email, says she's coming to my house so we can carpool to the airport together --- on Tuesday night.  Tuesday night?  I asked her.  Why so early?  Turns out, her flight is on the Weds flight, and mine is on the Thursday - same flight number, different day.  hahahaha  

It takes two blondes.....

The Early Years

Some day, my kids may (or may not) find their way to this blog.

I've been writing things because at my age, "as one gets older, one's fears subside and what seems more and more important is to be known."

I stole that line from The Bridges of Madison County movie, an all time favorite of mine.  Francesca had a life changing event in the middle of her life that had her looking at her choices, her future; and while she chooses to stay with her own life, she wants her children to know about this, and leaves them a letter along with journals describing those four days.  This is the digital age equivalent of that for me!

I research genealogy and family history because the past of my grandparents is so sketchy, full of stories and half truths, and when it comes right down to it, there must be many skeletons in the closet to justify all the secrets that those who went before me have kept.

Even my parents, and I've lived around them for 50+ years now, had things that were their own as adults and individuals that us kids didn't know about.  Or maybe we were just young and involved in our own selves, not paying attention to them as real people -- they were "the parents".   Which makes me wonder what my own kids know about me.  I know that I probably raised them like my parents raised me:  best foot forward as a parent, putting their needs, their learning, their growing, above my own wants and needs.  To me, that's as it should be.  If I wasn't willing to do this, I saw no reason to have kids in the first place.  Which is why God probably entrusted me with special needs kids, if that's how one chooses to look at it.

Things might have been different if I'd stayed married to their father, if he and I had more things in common, if, if, if.  So many if's that don't really matter any longer, they're part of the past.  It wasn't all bad, there just wasn't enough good to balance it out.

Holiday seasons seem to bring out the reflective side of me.  I don't know if my kids wonder why I didn't stay with their dad.  We married when I was only 19 years old.  I may have seemed mature for my age, but in truth when it came to relationships, I floundered just like everyone else.  I was overweight growing up, and when I finally got a boyfriend, I thought it was forever - the only one I would ever have!  (see?  kids get dumb ideas!)  I'm sure that was a lack of self esteem issue.  But after we married, it was easy to see that we had different ideals on family and raising kids, and we stuck it out for close to 10 years.

We had our challenges with our kids, they had more needs than an average kid might have.  And it always felt like meeting those needs was left up to me.  When Tanya was born, my parents watched her.  I would get up and get ready for work, drop her off, pick her up on the way home.  Once I got home, it was time to cook, clean and get ready for the next day.  Here I'd be, tired and hauling the kid, the diaper bag and the car seat up the stairs only to find their dad sitting in his fav spot on the couch, TV on, with a Pepsi and a bag of chips.  And I remember thinking to myself "how is this fair? I work hard too!"  But I kept on keeping on.  It was a trip to visit his parents in Arizona that woke me up.  I got up one morning, Tanya was an early riser, and always rambunctious as she was learning to walk.  We went into the living room.  His dad walks in, snaps on the TV, grabs his coffee, sits in his chair, starts watching TV and hollers for us to "keep it down".   And I just couldn't see that as my future.

Does that make me a little nuts?  Intolerant?  Judgmental?

I know those are two simplified scenarios, but it was a daily occurrence and one I didn't think I could handle for the next 20, 30, 40 years.   I wanted to do more than work and watch TV as life went by!