Someone Special

Dear Brian,

Here it is, the first holiday without you.  Thanksgiving.  A day when you think about all the things you're grateful for.  It was hard to think about you -- you wouldn't breeze in the front door this year. 

Because I work retail, that means I worked on Thanksgiving day - just like the past 10 years.  But that doesn't mean it's a day that's like any other day.  It's still a day to be grateful, and still a day that is celebrated, even though it may be on some other day.  For me, it was Saturday.  And that was a very difficult day.  I sat on the couch, TV running, but it felt like I was waiting for that moment when you'd come home.  And it didn't happen.  Simple things made me sad, and I cried for a little while because I miss you very much.

It was a rough work day, the store was busy both Thurs and Friday.  And our new management team decided that we all needed to work a 10 hour shift on Thurs .... until 11 pm!  I am a morning person, so that didn't work so well for me.

I thought of you often during the holiday, and found a little poem:

Those we love don't go away

they walk beside us every day

unseen, unheard but always near

still loved, still missed, and very dear.

I used that on the last page of the annual calendar I create and print for family each year.  And I hope it helps the rest of them like it does me, to remember that you're always as close as can be, because you're my son and I love you.

Love,
mom