It's a relief to have it here.
There's something about knowing it's Friday.
Even though I'm not typical with weekends off
working retail in a supervisory roll means
you're the one who fills in
when a part of your team is off.
That's how it's been for the past 10 weeks. I haven't had my days off, and the toll is showing ... or is it that I'm feeling it more than showing it? Maybe that's it. My health has been an issue since back in April. I thought I'd pulled a muscle at the gym. You know when you have a bad cough, and the cough clears up, your core muscles are sore from being over-used? That's how it started. I assumed it would clear up. Maybe some un-healthy eating added to the problem. I'm still convinced I passed some kind of liver stone that caused me to have the intense muscle spasm-like pains when I walked. According to all the research I could find, I seemed to fit right in with the symptoms of others.
OK. I can deal with that.
But after those pains passed, I was feeling well - but only when I ate small meals that consisted of bland foods. I usually keep detailed accounts of the foods I eat (because it helps with my life-changing eating plans) but I was skipping those days, so I don't know if my carbs/protein/fats ratios were still the same as they had been. Or even if they're better now. I'll need to keep track better.
However, the dull ache that I have in my right side is back. I ate lasagna for dinner Weds night and boy that didn't sit well with me at all. Too much fat? Too spicy? Too much? I was miserable all night long, and far into Thursday. Back to square one eating my small meals, having a fruit smoothie every day, along with my cup of apple juice. You know the old saying ... An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
But I think what's bothering me is the not knowing. This nodule they found on my lung, I'm assuming its on my right side, and that its bothering me in some way. Is it in a position where it rubs when I'm active? Or that I can feel it when I'm laying on my right side? There's power in knowledge. If I know, then I can deal. Not knowing makes me crazy. I'll have to make do until Monday afternoon when I see a pulmonary doctor. But why is waiting so hard?
In the meantime, I'm thinking positive thoughts. And doing positive things, like taking my supplements, and a daily walk with Sadie.
A good song that comes to mind in that regard is "Let Your Soul be Your Pilot" by Sting.
When you're down and they're counting
When your secrets all found out
When your troubles take to mounting
When the map you have leads you to doubt
When there's no information
And the compass turns to nowhere that you know well
Let your soul be your pilot
Let your soul guide you
He'll guide you well
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