Inspiration

Everyone needs something to inspire them.  We see success stories about someone who has a dream or vision of accomplishing something, and they start doing "it".  That's inspiring.  Or we want to set a goal (losing weight being the number one on many peoples' list), so we make out a diet plan, shop accordingly, maybe start an exercise program or join a gym.  Inspiring.  Sometimes that inspiring thought isn't easy to come by ... usually because there's either no real goal or outcome envisioned, or there's too many steps to getting there.  Lots of reasons come to mind!

When I was on a huge photography kick, I happened upon a website where if you signed up, they would send you a daily photoshoot assignment.  The goal being that you would grow your mind around that thought and find a way to take a photo of ... something.   That website is now defunct, because wow, that's a lot of work for someone to do.  But right before it was shut down, we were given the opportunity to make a copy of all the assignments --- there are over 600 of them!  And being in a weird place of not working and wanting something to do that doesn't cause issues on my injured leg, I decided to look them up and print out a few, maybe start back up to taking photos again.  

example: show us a playful photo with text in it

example:  show us a relaxing Sunday!

Everything of course is up to personal interpretation -- or inspiration!  I'm hoping that I can start doing just a little more in the way of photos and using some creativity, keep my mind occupied!  If I start tomorrow, June 1st, the category is "Red - red hot?  red paint? You decide.

Retirement Thoughts

I haven't been at work since April 23.  Being one of those who isn't often sick from work, its been quite an adjustment. The days can get long.  

But I always dreamed of what I'd do if I had time off work.  Work on hobbies, my rock painting, quilted hearts, scrapbooks.  I enjoy family history and genealogy, have a huge file on all of it.  Work on my photography.  Work on a tan! And frankly, I haven't done much of any thing .... tv, read books, and lay around.  Yes, I know I am resting the injuries. But I can multitask, can't I? So far, I haven't done much of that.  

So if I'm on the verge of retiring ... how will this go?  I am the kind of gal who likes things in good order.  When I worked I would do vacuuming on Mondays, family dinner on Tuesdays,  laundry on Saturdays.  You get the idea, life had order to it.  So, alarm at 7, walk at 8, breakfast at 9  ????  That would work for me. I think. Scrapbook on Monday, genealogy on Tuesday .....  I know,  I know, a little bit extreme.  But I think this comes after the realization that a month has gone by without a plan.  We shall see!

My backyard cactus

Taco Tuesday

Tuesday is family dinner night, we gather at Mom's and today she made tacos.  Always delish!  Accompanied by two sports viewing:  Diamondbacks at Texas, and Timberwolves at Mavericks.  And yes, she flips back and forth.  lol

I have some anxiety about my doctor appt tomorrow .....  if I do nothing, meaning less than 3000 steps, after 4 or 5 days, the pain in my shin/ankle/leg isn't noticeable.  But how's that going to work when I average over 10k a day at work?? Maybe its time to say "retirement".

As the sun begins to sink, we dashed out to take a pic of the The Red Bird of Paradise (Caesalpinia pulcherrima), a favorite summer blooming plant here in the Valley.  Mom trimmed it back, and boy did it come back!

Memorial Day

A day of remembrance, honoring US military personnel who died serving in the armed forces, first observed in 1868.  Thank you all for your service!

My father and my stepson both served, but didn't die in service.  I miss them both and honor them accordingly,  usually veteran's day.  

For some, Memorial Day signals the beginning of summer; others as their first long weekend.  This year, for me, its another day of resting my bum leg.  I did wander into the backyard to enjoy some warm sunshine!  And catch a quick cactus bloom!!

Overdid It

It felt so good to be out walking yesterday.  I enjoy it, especially when its nice out.  And here in the Valley of the Sun, late in May and we still haven't had back to back days over 100 degrees....  Best May I've experienced since 2008!!!  

But after yesterday's walk, I came home and felt awful.  I hopped in a shower, put on jammies and crawled into bed.  Today hasn't been much better, certainly didn't get out walking.  But after a good supper, and lots and lots of water, I'm beginning to wonder if I wasn't dehydrated.  *sigh* it happens easily here, and I'm usually careful.  We shall see what tomorrow brings.  Still trying to figure out the ankle/leg pain.

(solar lamp in my yard.... I enjoy them!)

Simple Changes

Yesterday afternoon, I got a surge of energy, ran myself over to Walmart and grabbed up a couple of hooks ..... time to get things organized in the garage.  First step was hanging the pieces of my daybed that isn't being currently being used.  ✔ 

This morning, I popped awake and took myself on a morning walk in my neighborhood, 1.35 miles.  Popped my MP3 player on, listened to tunes and just chugged my way around the blocks.  ✔ 

In the meantime, I hopped on the scale and found I've lost five lbs!  Which isn't much, but certainly better than it's been in the past year.  ✔ 

Here's to simple changes, good results. 

Clean Car, Lazy Cat

Most folks are aware of the international symbol for touchdown:  two arms thrown up in the air. 

Does that make two windshield wipers in the air the symbol for clean car???  lol

I got up early and washed my car before it gets too warm.  I thought the kitty would come help, but nope, just watched me from her perch.  

Now its only 730am .... what's next on my list??  Breakfast!!

Walking Again!

After so much enforced time indoors, much of it on my back, resting my battered body, I felt good enough to take a walk this morning!  I have a beast of a treadmill, but nothing beats being outdoors!

It feels odd walking on my ankle full strength, but "use it or lose it" is my mantra today.  I can't be treating my body as if its 85 yrs old!!

So with a few good tunes on my MP3 player, I headed out.  Its 72 degrees and sunny blue skies.   I'll be resting for an hour, then going out again .... because I need it!   The kiddie car on the car trailer caught my eye, and my sense of humor!

What a great day for walking!  

Shoot My Ankle!

Today's appointment was Orthopedic.  Liked the doctor, but I'm not sure his assessment is fully correct.  After x-rays,  he concluded that I have a touch of arthritis in my ankle, and wanted to do a cortisone shot; that should fix it.

Me, being me, I tried all the excuses and reasons and symptoms but his bottom line was "get the shot and if that doesn't fix it, we'll do an MRI". 

So I let him give me the shot and its 3  hours later.   I'm tired, and don't know if it's from the stress, lack of sleep or the shot. But I napped for a bit.  My head feels like I need a gallon of caffeine to wake up,  but I won't because it causes havoc with my blood pressure.  I'm hoping I can do some time on my treadmill tomorrow. That should be a good indicator if this works or not.

It's cloudy,  windy with spatters of rain... suits my mood for sure!  

Fitbit Fanatic

I am a Fitbit fanatic.  I have worn one since Sep 2015, and I have come to rely on some of the stats it relates to me.  I know, I know, its not medically accurate, my doc tells me that all the time.  But it IS mostly consistent in what data it does give me 

For the past year or so, my resting heart rate (RHR) has been in the 60s, averaging around 62.  But for a week or so, its been over 70 every day.  And that had me worried.  Yesterday, I concentrated on mindful breathing and relaxing, along with increasing water intake.  And last night my RHR was back to its "norm".  Such a relief! 

I also track my steps, and these days being more on my back than my feet, I'm not getting so many steps.  But back in January I reached a lifetime total of 12,430 miles.  I'm anxious to get better and back to walking again!!  

Whew! Approved!!

Whew!  My leave of absence has been approved and I won't be terminated.  This has been weighing heavy on my mind.  Sometimes I get a little perturbed that some of this has been so difficult for someone who's been with them nearly 23 years.  But I get it, there are some employees who take advantage of every little thing.  

And while I don't anticipate ever taking another job, I don't want "terminated" on my record.  Its just a matter of personal pride.  

I woke up this morning feeling like a migraine was coming on, but a 2 hr nap and a reviving cool shower abated the hated migraine.  

So another day moves along, and I can go back to my physical therapy exercises tomorrow! 

Injured Reserve List

It sure would be easier to just quit the job, file for social security and be done with all of this!!   I haven't had to file any leave of absence claim since I had gall bladder surgery in 2013.  Then, the doctors and hospital handled all of it.  Or the company worked with the docs and hospital and I didn't have to do much but sign some papers.   Now, I'm running all over town trying to get stuff done!  I'm just grateful that I have a computer, a printer and the knowledge on how to create PDFs, and sending them in an email.

I had physical therapy yesterday - a different therapist, but that's ok.  It wears me out when I do my hour with them.  Right after, I had a doctor's appt to get my leave of absence papers filled out.  At least he was considerate enough to ask questions, like "When do you want to go back to work?"  I explained that while physical therapy IS helping, I'm not at the point where I can stand/walk/work for an 8 hour shift without pain.  So, he put down 6/23/24 as a return to work date estimate.  Of course, now I'm wondering what I'm going to do for more than a month.  Because of that, I'm also going to look into some kind of orthopedic doctor to see if this can be figured out (and FIXED!)

My days are long because I'm supposed to "rest" my body and let it heal.  But how much TV can a person watch?  I tend to turn to old movies.  Yesterday, it was Smokey and the Bandit!!  I read a lot of books, and enjoy it, but my eyes get tired.  I know I can't fill my days by eating because I'm bored -- that would really pack on extra pounds, so I'm being careful there.

Little projects around the house are OK -- my floors are clean, my fridge could use a wipe down.  I could always paint more rocks (lol).  If I was feeling "normal", I'd be making trips to the parks to walk and shoot photos, or stop in at the library and see about some books.  All activities that would make me happy, keep me busy.  Being cooped up in the house makes me moody.  Which gets me thinking about walking around in a store, but what for?  I sure don't need anything! 

Is this what it's like for athletes who get on the injured reserve list???? 

Frustrated Journey

I've been away from my job at the BigBoxStore since the end of April.   I've been trying to get my health back so I can work a full shift again.  Because of policy, I am allowed 5 absences and then I will be terminated.   I used up my earned Protected PTO and today when I logged in, yep. There are 5 absences.   Sigh 

I still have to get my Primary Care Dr to submit my FMLA paperwork.  They gave me the run around to make an appointment.  And now I'm dreading all of it.  I finally got an appt for Tuesday, and am anxious about how that will go.

My Medicare doesn't kick in until July.  And neither will social security.  So the months of June and July will be ... scraping by.  

Sometimes just sharing this out into the interwebs makes me feel a little better.  

I started this Sunday night and was awake at 530am Monday, so I turned on the computer and printed everything, read everything, signed everything.  I made notes of dates, issues, results, and printed my physical therapy receipts.  

Now I just cross my fingers that this goes through and I can keep my job.  My biggest fear? Is that working will reactivate whatever is wrong in my leg/hip and I'll be off work again.  

I dislike this process so very much. So as I sit here, in frustrated worry,  I'm crunching my way through some Good n Plenty, an old timey fav!

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is an incredibly hard day when one of your two children has died.  I was blessed with two children, a girl and a boy. My daughter is incredible, and she has a daughter, who is alao going to have a daughter.  Life moves along and we celebrate those occasions. But.  This isn't easy, a day of celebration without my son.

Brian and I were buddies; we made huge life changes together, and always came out ahead.  We loaded a truck and moved from Ohio to Arizona. Then we bought a house and moved in.  It was going to be his house to grow old in if he wanted.  But it all changed with his decision to end his life. And that changed all our lives. Irrevocably.

So on this special day, I visited my own Mom, but cut it short and came home to be alone with thoughts of my son. Its been nearly five years, and sometimes it hurts as much as the first year.  Not a day goes by when I don't think of him.  

I love you, Brian.  7.2.2019  FE33

You've Got Mail

In the 90s, the internet was just coming to the masses.  AOL was geared to helping people like me to learn to navigate the wonders of the internet.  

You would plug your computer into your phone line and hear the dial tone; press buttons on your keyboard and listen while the computer "talked" through the phone connection.  While I'm not a wizard of the technical aspects of it all, I remember the joys of connecting!!

The fantastical part was being able to talk to people all over the world; I found many chat buddies from all kinds of places.  I had a friend in Canada, her and I chatted, exchanged emails and even gifts to each other.  Isnt it odd that you make friends with someone so far away, but the internet enabled you to be friends anyway?

I was reminded of this phase in life from watching "You've Got Mail" on Netflix.  (Last day to watch is May 31)  Hearing those words when you logged on meant you had a note from a friend.  Nowadays, they don't announce it, thankfully, because so much of it is advertising and such.  Ugh.  

But aahhh those were the days, I remember them fondly!!

Physical Therapy

For over a month I have been in pain.  I didn't know what was causing it; one doctor diagnosed a pinched nerve in my back.  But that was caused by the original pain.  And now that a month has gone by, I know that I wasn't taking care of myself.

I kept on walking at work, thinking that if it was sore muscles, I should power through the pain.  Wrong!

I've had physical therapy three times now, and boy do I like it!  My therapist, Donovan, is young (and cute!) but he knows his stuff.  The first week i had a knotted muscle the size of a softball.  He worked it out, and that was only the beginning.  After some major stretching with his help, then exercises designed to help my specific issues, I am making good progress.  

Yesterday was my best day in a month.  And even though he worked me hard today, I know that its best in the long run. With his help, I'm learning how to move and exercise to correct my faulty hip muscles.

Now I just have to figure out when I can get back to work!

Who's ready to work out???  1...2...3...go!

Hooray for Thrifting

For some, "antiquing" is a verb, to go shopping for antiques.  Today, I took my mom "thrifting", shopping at our local thrift shop run by The Assistance League.  They are an East Valley store, and their monies support many local needs such as Assault Survivor kits ie clothing and hygiene items for those in need. 

Mom got a few things, and I bought an odd little nutcracker ($10).  I wasn't going to buy anything, but this caught my eye so I had to have it.

Turns out when I got home, I was able to look it up. Its a nutcracker from the 40s-50s made by HMQ, Henry Marcus Quackenbush.  It appears to be nickel plated and will hang on my dining room wall with my other antique kitchen utensils! 

Hooray for thrifting!

Live Your Best

One of the thoughts that flings its way through my thoughts has to do with making life your own.  We only go through once, and sometimes it seems as if we're always one step behind where we want to be. Or expect to be.  

There are a lot of imposed goals on our life.  By parents, teachers, leaders, bosses, and ourselves.  I always thought the expectations in the 1950s were easier than those of the 70s when I was growing up.  Find a good man, get married, have children vs the women's lib movement- equality, bra burning, choosing careers. It was not easy!

But as I look back, I realize that the best advice I could share with the younger generations is to make your life your own. I didn't have jobs that made a career.  But I learned over time that doing my best every day no matter what the job was made it to be a job worth doing. 

Ok. Real time story here.  I was working for a forklift dealership in my 30s.  I knew the ins and outs of most positions as I was there for 22 years in total.  But there was a woman who was made CFO and she didn't like anyone to be smarter than her. She took an instant dislike to me and my position was eliminated.  I was reduced to "file clerk", banned to the file room to keep all the files up to date.  I'm sure this woman thought I might quit, but I didn't.  I sang hymns while I filed, day after day.  I didn't let her see that I was unhappy; I made that filing position my own, in my own way.  After some time, the bosses realized that my knowledge wasn't being utilized.  They opened a branch office in another city, and I was put in charge of the operations portion of it.  

Sometimes what others expect doesn't line up with our own desires and expectations. But that doesn't make them wrong choices. The only person we have to be better than is our self.  Each day, strive to do better than you did yesterday.  No matter what the job or task is.  Live your best life!

He or She??

What will it be???   

We had a gender reveal party yesterday with family and friends!  It's hard to believe that my granddaughter is having a baby.  To me, she's still a teenager!  But they grow up fast.

It was fun to see folks I hadn't seen in a while.  And it is always awkward spending time with my ex.  We divorced in 1990 and he's remarried.  (I'm not a fan of her, she is the teacher type, always wanting to be the organizer of every event).  But even after 30+ years have passed, I still don't care to share small talk about my life happenings with him!  Its just weird!! lol

Its a girl!

Hooked on Drama

Being out of work for a while, I have been relegated to my couch and lots of TV time.  Ugh.  But I noticed something today:  I like lawyer dramas.  Or maybe its mysteries in general.  

I remember growing up with Mission Impossible,  Magnum PI, and sometimes Murder She Wrote.  I was a huge fan of LA Law, and recently Suits and Lincoln Lawyer.

What is it about these dramas that pull us in?  

Is it the happy ending? Seeing justice served for the "bad guy"? Or the accused innocent being redeemed?  Or .... just good looking men with a brain acting out a good story?

I'll be honest:  good looking men help! But its not all looks, they need smarts and a certain suave to make it work.  I am all for the TV makers to keep on with good drama and handsome men! 

Its a Grandma Thing

After learning I am going to be a Great grandma, I started searching through my cedar chest.  (By the way, its a Lane, and I've had it since 1977) It's where I store those special pieces i want to keep for generations.  

I located the first baby blanket I made when I learned I was pregnant in 1981.  Its a Raggedy Ann and Andy, with a yellow satin binding.   I'm bringing it to the Gender Reveal party on Saturday!

I used to save much more than I do now. I have no idea if today's generations are interested in old keepsakes, or if they will keeping their own keepsakes.  

It seems to me that there needs to be some kind of continuity in a child's life.  I watch my niece and nephew play with toys that belonged to their parents and it brings both the parent and the child joy.  

After this precious great grandchild arrives, I also have the baby spoon I used with my daughter (1983).  I'll gift that to my daughter then. 

In my opinion, family and traditions are wonderful!