If Mom wrote a blog..

When I blog, I try and keep it my own thoughts, my own feelings, or what's really going on in my life. If y'all want fiction, I can point you to your local library. Although, there are moments when it feels like my life ~reads~ like fiction ... hehehe The folks I mention online, and sometimes write about, are real people to me. Even though there are some I haven't actually met face to face, I think I know more about a part of them than I might ever know had we met in some other "real" way. Some I even know by voice, because we've spoken on the phone. Each of you has a special place in my life, some how, some way.

The other side of the coin is, I think many of you know me in ways that would never happen either. Several of you even know me by voice as well (giggles and blushes included!) I'm quite shy in person until I truly get to know someone. Maybe the word is introverted. I'm the kind who just does my own thing most of the time. I'm sure you've also realized that while there are a few blogs that could have been expanded on, I don't do that (often) because I know that my kids and stepkids could read it. And frankly, my viewpoint is .. if my Mom was writing this, would *I* want to read about it??? hahaha

Its odd how we categorize persons into the roles they play. My own Mom wouldn't write about conversations she'd had over things that didn't revolve around her kids, their lives, or their school work. Or would she?? We each have so many facets, so many hats, almost like different masks even, that we wear in whatever role is expected of us at certain times. I wear my Mom hat/mask from time to time, not as often as I used to. Then there's my Work hat/mask that I wear every day, too. But I have a Woman hat/mask that I enjoy wearing as well. The kind who dresses up, fixes hair and makeup just right. Most times for no reason at all. (Which usually gets me some kind of look from the son that says "Who are YOU all dressed up for?") Does that mean that we can only be "one" type of person? No, we're all many different roles rolled into one. And that makes us all unique.

Thanks to all of you who've taken the time to get to know me;
Thanks to the ones who call me from time to time for some anytime chat;
and thanks to those of you who waste a bit of time reading this blog.
Hopefully, it brings a smile to your face, or makes you think from time to time!!

HUGS to everyone!!

Bucket List

This morning, I watched The Bucket List (Morgan Freeman, Jack Nicholson). All in all, an OK movie that deals with that timeless question: If you knew you were going to die in six months, what would you want to do? Not always a pretty thing to think about. But... what if ????

Some of the things on their list was predictable. Skydive. Drive a Mustang Shelby. See a majestic wonder. They traveled across the world. And, as luck would have it, one character had unlimited resources when it came to money. Most of us don't have that. So... what would you want to do ??

Seems like when it comes down to it, it would be a list of the things we regretted in life. But life should be lived without regrets. If you think you'll regret doing, or not doing, something later in life, shouldn't the time to to decide that is in the moment? and not regret it later??

Sure, there are little things we might regret. And some of the regrets we may have can only become regrets in hindsight. Knowing that you made each choice wisely, given the information you had to make that decision, is the best way to avoid having regrets.

For me, my Bucket List would include:

* taking a few more chances when it comes to meeting new people.
* making more time for my family, my kids
* more schooling!
* find more joy in my life
* know that I brought joy to others in my life

Why not start that Bucket List today? Most of them are easy enough to work on each and every day. And in the long run, it isn't always what we accomplished that matters most. What really matters is who you loved, and who loved you.

HUGS, and ~LOVE~ to everyone!!

Motivation & Mom-Hood

There are some things that we want or need to do, and can't seem to do on our own. Quitting smoking would be a fine example; its certainly not easy for many, and yet, so important. And that means finding the right motivation. I looked up the meaning (yes, I know, I always do!) because sometimes we get an idea what a word means in our mind, and we forget there may be another definition as well. I found these two for motivation:

Internal and external forces and influences
that drive an individual to achieving certain goals.
the ability to do something and to keep going even when things get difficult

I really liked the second one. Keeping that in mind, I'm determined not to gain back the 30 lbs I lost when I moved to Arizona. So ..... I went out and bought a scale! Talk about motivation! I haven't owned one, nor have I wanted one!, for more than four years now. I've always said that the number on a scale isn't as important as being healthy, and happy with ourselves, not just our outer shell. It's what's inside that counts. But if we're not happy on the inside, then maybe this is needed. So maybe the thought of seeing a scale every morning will make me think twice before eating a Hershey bar. (then again, maybe not, Hershey being my weakness!) So now, we shall see what happens!

After all the health issues this past couple of weeks, Monday was my first day back at work, and it was a long, rough day. Needless to say, I was tuckered, and needed a good night's sleep. However, my son decided it was his night to do laundry. and to cook a meal. He's a night owl, up at all hours of the night. There I was tossing and turning, being woke up by him in the kitchen. Then the buzzer on the dryer sounded. As I groused at him in my mind, I became agitated. The more agitated I became, the harder I found it to go back to sleep. Then the buzzer sounded again. Sliding glass door opens and closes. More rummaging in the fridge. Argh!!!

Tuesday, when I came home from work, I gave him The Look. "Whaaat?" he asked. As I glared, I told him he was grounded to his room from 10pm - 4am. He looked at me and said "Why?" (heheh doesn't every kid ask that?????) So I told him how my sleep was disrupted and how cranky I was at work because I could hear him doing laundry, cooking, doors sliding, more noises in the kitchen, more buzzers buzzing. While we can banter back and forth like that with a little bit of humor, I think he knew I meant it. Because he was much quieter Tuesday night!

A good son always listens to his mother,
but I laugh now, because here he is, 22 and "grounded". hehehehehhehehehe
Mom-hood still rules

HUGS to everyone!!!

Traditions

I love traditions, especially around the holidays. Even though my location has changed several times over the years, I try to keep my traditions with me. Not only for my sake, but for my kids, too. With families changing, it sometimes seems impossible to continue the tried and true traditions. But to me its like a building block, something to start with and grow from there. Being so far from family for the previous four years has made it a challenge to keep those traditions alive.

Our Thanksgiving meal has had to move over the years: from the weekend before to the weekend after, based on work schedules. However, it doesn't change the traditions, just because the actual day changes. There are still the familiar smells of turkey, gravy and stuffing. And making pumpkin pies, even when my son didn't like them; I made them anyways, because it's tradition. Sometimes when changing the day, there isn't football to go with the food, so we would get a movie to watch after dinner. And somewhere close to Thanksgiving is another tradition: decorating the Christmas tree.

When I was growing up, one of the traditions was driving up into the Santa Cruz mountains and finding that perfect tree, cutting it down, throwing it into the truck, and driving it home. But location changed that tradition. Enter the era of the artificial tree.

Decorating the tree is a good tradition as well. I'm a "keeper", so many of the ornaments I have are old. I have one for every year I've been an adult (wow, hear the whirrrr of the brains calculating how many that is!! hehehe if you guessed over 30, *ding*ding*ding* you're correct! ) and many from my childhood as well. Picking them out of a box, unwrapping the tissue paper around it, is like greeting an old friend. When my kids were small, when I moved into a blended family, it was important to pass along the history of each ornament. Like the one with a photo of my daughter in it, that she made in kindergarten. Or the rocking horse cut out of dough that my son made. Or the gingerbread man my sister brought home from college in New Hampshire. So many of them have a reason for being a part of the collection. And the stories told year after year keep our memories alive.

This year, my granddaughter is six, and old enough (and CLOSE enough!) to begin hearing the stories as she helps decorate the tree this year. And I'm excited to be able to share this with her. And as she hangs ornaments on the tree, no doubt it will look like so many of the trees in my past .... where decorations are hung only so high .... as high as she can reach :) Just like my kids used to do!!

It's never too late to start a new tradition .......
and I'm thinking hard about what ours might be this year :)

HUGS to everyone!

Powerless

Yesterday, that's the word that popped into my head. I was driving home from work, and *bam* it just hit me. I've had that happen a time or two and later after pondering the word or subject, I might go home and write a poem about it; or a blog; or something. But nothing came to mind at all yesterday, or today.

But quick, off the top of your head, answer me this: What makes you feel powerless???
My real quick answer is Hershey's chocolate, extra cheesy pizza, and my computer. If there is a Hershey bar within reach, my mouth is watering, and I can't resist. The same goes for the pizza ... I'll grab it cold for breakfast, eat it on the way to work if there's leftovers in the fridge. Then there's my computer. When I get home from work, it's the first thing that happens: flip the switch, power it up, listen to the fans whirrrrr, the hard drive brrzzt'ing across whatever its looking at, finding the source to make it all come to life. All to bring me ... in essence ... the world.

I've told a few stories about my chatting experiences. There's nothing better than turning on the computer, logging in and hearing those three little words: "You've got mail". So much so, they made a movie about it! *grin* But just as I feel powerless against the Hershey bar and the pizza that both scream my name if I'm within a hundred yards, I am the same way with my computer. On weekends, I roll out of bed and press ON before anything else. And it's almost as if its a lover who crooks his finger and says "...c'mere and play with me, you know you want to...." And I'm there. Probably more than I should be, but sometimes not near enough as I want to be! Controlling the "lets chat" impulses can sometimes be very difficult. That's when procrastination comes in handy: ~~I'm gonna chat, I'll do the dishes tomorrow~~ hehehe

I've changed how I intended to end this blog three times now, and maybe that's a sign that I should just leave it at that. (ha! I don't always follow the signs, though!) I've got one thing in my life that I'm powerless over. (And while "chatting" could be the answer in that equation, it's something more specific) No matter how determined I get in trying make a change so that I can empower myself again, I go back to it, or get drawn back in. Time and again, an ongoing thing for years now. One step forward results in two steps back, and I'm right where I was all over again. (Boy, it almost sounds as if I am in need of a good 12-step program!!)

But in order for things to change, we can't just wait, feeling powerless, and hoping for things to get better. We need to be proactive, and do things that will create a change. And I should be the first to take my own advice! Given the state of our economy, its the same: we feel powerless in the changes that others are forcing upon us. But that's the time to say "Don't give up"; to get proactive and begin doing things that make the changes needed. Maybe it's only one little thing, but the little things add up!!!

HUGS to everyone!

Out of sight, Out of mind

Sometimes we live in a little bubble, our own little world .. so dare I ask.. Where does it go? I'm talking of course about garbage. Not that it's a particularly interesting blog post, but hey, it's a part of life. There are times when it seems to ~~ magically disappear ~~ , definitely from our perspectives, or from our proximity: Out of sight, Out of mind. But we all know that in reality, it's not really gone. So what happens to it? Well, most of you will answer "the dump". And you'd be correct. But let's widen that bubble here.

Until I started working in claims, I was like you .. out of sight, out of mind. Someone else's problem, someone else made it go away, and I didn't have to think about it. But my eyes and awareness are open even more now. Yes, we all know that Walmart is well known as "the place that takes anything back". In a way, that is very true. But I'm finding that I don' t like the reasons things are brought back. Like today, a handheld grinder, sells for about $25. It was returned, and my guess is that it was used to do a certain job, then returned, because it was no longer needed. But what happens to that item now? In truth? It can't be resold, we dont deal in "used merchandise". So yes, it goes in the compactor, more landfill. The same with packages that are plastic wrapped, like toilet paper? can't be resold. more landfill. And just think ... it's not just my store, but thousands of all kinds of stores, on every corner, in every city, in every state .. they all deal with this same issue: what to do with the stuff that has no where else to go??

I also know that when we buy things, they have to be packaged, but have you noticed that lately, there's more packaging than there is of the item you purchased? I am happy to note that retailers and suppliers are working together to create better packaging and less waste. Which is good for the environment, and ultimately for consumers as well. Less packaging leads to lower prices for us consumers.

Our economy has been pretty rough lately; and we all need to be more creative in our spending, and also with how we use things. It may take a few moments of time to wash a dish rather than using paper plates; or using a cloth that gets rinsed or washed in the washer instead of a paper towel; because in the long run, you save money, and the landfills. We all need to do our part in the "go green" campaign, but more important, if we find a way to reuse what we have, and don't buy something else that might do the same job ... we save resources, and our money.

Which makes us truly $$.in.$$.the.$$.green.$$

HUGS to everyone!

Greatest Intentions

We all have ideals about getting this or that done. Some of us make "To Do" lists; others have a "Honey Do" list. Sometimes its just a running monologue with ourselves about what has to get done, what needs to be done, and what we'd like to get done. Sometimes our priorities aren't always in the perfect order, but that's ok. Its better to accomplish a few things, than nothing at all.

It was with the greatest intentions that I promised myself I would write witty, entertaining, or informative blogs every day for this 30 day challenge. Not necessarily in that order, and definitely not all of that in each and every blog. hehehe But it's not as easy as it sounds! It can be challenging to look at each of the things we do, or hear, or think about, and make it into something that folks actually take time to read.

Today was my first day back to work after being off for a total of a week. Needless to say, I'm quite tuckered, and my ribs on the right side are a bit sore. I'm now rethinking my plan of not taking Tylenol to ease myself through the day. I'm going to tough out the evening, though, and make supper and clean the kitchen before I collapse into bed, with my Tylenol!! Its 4pm now... can I eat? and be in bed by 6? LOL because I'm sure ready!!

HUGS to everyone!!!

The smallest act of kindness is worth more
than the grandest intention. ~Oscar Wilde

Synchronicity

Synchronicity is a neat word. It's become one of my favorites lately. When you look it up, there are different kinds of meanings, but basically: a meaningful coincidence. Wiki takes it a step further citing that " Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events which occur in a meaningful manner, but which are causally un-related. In order to be synchronous, the events must be related to one another conceptually, and the chance that they would occur together by random chance must be very small." Well, given that mouthful, I'm not sure I could point to much that might qualify. So in my little world, its the little things that make me go "oooo" when synchronicity, a meaningful coincidence, happens.

This is a word my friend Prof introduced me to. And over the course of our conversations, there are a lot of synchronicities that we've pointed out to each other. The ones I like, of course, are the ones that happen between us. Maybe we're both cooking the same thing for dinner. Or when sharing our dreams, they had similar themes, or persons, in them. Or today: Prof rarely gets online over the weekend to chat. I had just logged on 15 minutes or so ago, checked my email and then started this blog when *bell rings* there he is! Logged on and ready to chat.
Now THAT was synchronicity. For me.

HUGS to everyone!!!

Rants about chatting

No one is more arrogant toward women, more aggressive or scornful, 

than the man who is anxious about his virility. ~~Simone de Beauvoir

Saw this quote online today, and it reminded me of chatters ...... It's not the first time, and won't be the last, but the other day, I started up a chat with someone who's local to me (meaning within 50 miles! lol) and we exchanged the usual up front questions about age and jobs. This one was a teacher. I think in all, we exchanged maybe 5 lines of conversation when his next line was ... "So, are your nipples brown or pink?" And my reply was "and... we're done!" and he promptly went on my "ignore this person" list. Ok there are some creepy types out there, but this one bothered me a bit... he was up front enough to tell me he was a teacher .. and he's out there teaching our kids????? ACK. Why is it that men think they need to know that? Are they under the assumption that asking those kinds of questions turn women on? 

When it comes to conversations with the opposite sex .... are there limitations to the kinds of questions one should ask? or answer to? I checked, and there are a number of websites that deal with chatting etiquette. And most have sound advice. One of the worst things to deal with are what I like to call HNG's, or Horny Net Geeks. They're the kind who are generally rude, and ask about personal information as if it's their God given right to know everything about you. They have little or no manners, and seem to treat people like they don't have feelings, like they're not other real people. Or perhaps they assume that because we're online and chatting, we're so desparate, that we'll answer to anything just to talk to someone, no matter that he's a sorry HNG. For me, I don't and won't, put up with that kind of behavior. And I'm encouraging the rest of you to get a thick skin when it comes to getting questions like this, and put that HNG in his place. We're better than that. And deserve to be treated with respect. 

 Well, I could fill this with a bunch of "If only... " phrases. But the men who are worthy, already know it. And the ones who are HNG's on a selfish pursuit won't read this anyhow. LOL

HUGS to everyone!!

A Woman's Purse

This morning I woke up early and started watching the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". In it, the main male character says "A woman's purse is her secret source of power. There are many dark and dangerous things in there that we, the male species, should know nothing about."

And that got me thinking... (strange things always seem to get me thinking!).... Is it true? Are there things in a woman's purse that males don't even want to know about? I have had many purses over the years. When I was young, I was like all the rest of the girls I knew: we wanted the hippest hottest thing there was. Of course, back in the 70s much of them were handmade of macrame, leather, or old denim jeans. I had one of each kind through those years! When my daughter was born, I gave up on the purse thing - none of them were big enough! - and bought a leather carry bag. It was very large; large enough for extra diapers, snacks, clothing, shoes, toys, all the things a new mom needs. As my daughter and son grew, their needs changed, so what I carried in that purse of mine changed. It soon became color books, crayons, hand-held or travel size games, things to entertain while waiting at the doctor, a restaurant or driving in the car.

Then there was the phase of an 'oh so small' purse. The less one carried, the better. I was lucky to carry a driver's license, a pen and a tampon. Then there were the organizer purses - the ones with a little cubbyhole or pocket for each different thing a woman might carry: checkbook here, glasses there, pens and pencils, make up, mirror - you name it, there probably was a pocket for it !!!

But what is it that women carry in their purses? and why? Each of us carries something different, and yet probably carries the basics as well. I'm sure to a man it brings to mind some kind of magical thing, because if they ask a woman for something -- she probably has it in that bag of hers! Reminds me of the Mary Poppins movie, where Mary pulls everything out of her carpet bag, including the 6-foot lamp. hehehe

Some women are obsessive about having purses. They love to shop for them, carry the latest style, color, or fabric. Even brand names. In the movie Sex and the City, they refer to "Bag, Borrow or Steal, a sort of Netflix for purses!"

No matter which kind you prefer, what you carry in it is a reflection on you.
If someone were to dig through your purse right now, what would they find?
and what assumptions would they make about the person you are??

Mine is like this:
Car keys: because I'm always coming and going.
Work badge: need I say more?
Sassy blue framed reading glasses: because I can't see printing without them any longer.
Black Sharpie: For writing notes to myself.
Halls cough drop: leftovers from the last cold I had (in Ohio!)
Spare car key: Because you never know ;)
Carmex: For dry, cracked lips (I'm always prepared)
Immodium tablets: because I need to be prepared!
Wallet: driver's license, credit cards, AAA card, medical card (note: no AARP card...yet!)
Whoppers flavored chapstick: for fun, and my granddaughter. hehehe
and a blue macrame string with ponybeads on it, representing the laps I took with my "sisters" around the local park before I left Ohio.

What's in your purse?

HUGS to everyone!

Do you hear the music?

"Last year The Washington Post asked one of the world's finest violinists to play the part of a street musician in a Washington D.C. subway station. Pearls Before Breakfast: Joshua Bell plays the subway.

It was 7:51 a.m. on Friday, January 12, the middle of the morning rush hour. In the next 43 minutes, as the violinist performed six classical pieces, 1,097 people passed by. Almost all of them were on the way to work

In the three-quarters of an hour that Joshua Bell played, seven people stopped what they were doing to hang around and take in the performance, at least for a minute. Twenty-seven gave money, most of them on the run -- for a total of $32 and change. That leaves the 1,070 people who hurried by, oblivious, many only three feet away, few even turning to look. "

Ohhhh man... what a sad, and interesting, article! (Thanks for sharing, Prof!) Although, I have to admit, I'm a bit shocked at the whole thing. How can one not stop and listen?? I like to think that I've stopped at those that I've seen on the streets. Maybe not all, but a good portion, but I'm thinking that's because of my own music playing (I don't call it a talent or skill, because I'm not playing anymore) But ... I am totally moved by most music, and always take a chance to stop and listen to something. But then I've been known to stop in the middle of a walk just to listen to wind in the trees, or birds calling back and forth to each other.

But sadly.... Americans in a hurry don't take the time to do much of anything that isn't on their agenda. How sad it is that we're so busy pursuing the "american dream" that's been dictated to us, rather than pursuing the dreams that live in our heart, our soul, our very being.

Further in the article, this was the part that stuck out for me very strongly:

.....unless their defenses have been hardened to an impenetrable state. Maybe the urban environment of American cities is so dreadful that we've all constructed defenses so thick that we literally don't hear street musicians.

Its a pretty sad state of affairs that we can tune that stuff out. And I found it interesting that kids recognized it more than the adults. THAT gives me hope; makes me think that another generation will figure a few things out and maybe get it right down the road.

And maybe I'm being simplistic and overly naive and they won't. *sigh* There are more things in life than a career, and possessions. Those who spend their entire lives working for only that, face an end that's empty and sad, maybe even full of regrets. Life is too short, too precious for should have's, would have's and wish I had's. This is the one place that elders can be our greatest teachers. If we only stop, and listen.

If you pass by a great musician playing on the street, do you stop and listen?
Or are you in such a hurry that you pass right on by without a second glance?
Perhaps the next time you see someone, you will stop and listen. I encourage it.
If only for a moment ...... to see and hear the beauty that only music can be.

HUGS to everyone!

Wonder Woman

"I Am Able" have always been my words. I have always been the one who can, and who does. I've looked after ill husbands, sick children, and pets, too. When something needed to be done, I was the Go To person. And today, I was not that person, couldn't be that person. And it was disheartening for me to admit to myself that I couldn't. Getting up and walking the floor tired me out after 20 minutes and I was back in bed. Even the thing that I thought wouldn't bother me ... chatting on the computer ... tired me out after an hour.

After a tiring day of doing nothing, at 7:30pm I decided I needed to get up and roam around. I ran some hot water into the sink and splashed in some of my pomegranate shower gel. Its totally amazing how good one can feel after that simple thing!! Not sure I can get my hair washed by myself, though.

I guess when it comes down to it, no matter how much we want to be Wonder Woman, or who expects us to be, when the chips are down, that card gets taken from us. And learning to accept that is a hard thing. Especially for me.

HUGS to everyone!

to the point...

Came through with flying colors ... turns out, they drained 3 liters out of my kidney. What a way to lose 7 lbs huh??? haha With all the good drugs and stuff, I was making jokes about how those glass jars looked like bottles of root beer lined up :) I was awake before I even got to the recovery room, where they served me lunch -- a fancy chicken roll up full of veggies and tomatoes, a plate of fruit sliced and arranged beautifully, along with fresh strawberries, orange juice and ginger ale. I felt like I was in a five star hotel!! (must have been those drugs!! lol )

Now that the drugs have worn off, I'm stiff from lying around all day. and looking forward to being off work for at least a day. Maybe even to Friday. I chuckled when I read my discharge papers.... cuz here's one rule I am more than willing to follow TO THE LETTER! "No jogging, bouncing, or aerobics for two weeks." No Problem!! haha Ok, gotta go lay down. HUGS to everyone!

The Joy of Sox!!

As I'm preparing for my "procedure" tomorrow, I'm finding that I want comforting things ... and one of those things is a pair of bright bubblegum pink fuzzy pair of sox that are perfect for keeping my toes warm. And I'll leave you with the following, from an old blog I was writing elsewhere:

ReAwakening your Essensual Self - OK, so essensual isn't a word, its a combination of words, essence and sensual. The essence of something is it's soul, spirit, or substance. To be sensual is to perceive the world through your senses rather than logic or reason. And when you think about it, we use our senses a lot, most times without being aware of it!

My challenge is to be more aware of my senses..... and with that being said..... Socks!!! not all socks are created equal!!! Each pair has its own personality. There's terry cloth slipper socks, cotton socks with the ribbed cuffs. A leopard print pair that makes you smile just looking at them; or a pair so soft you can't hear your own steps as you cross the floor, or that lucky pair you wear .... or the snuggly ones you slip into when it's time for a favorite TV show. Or the slinky soft colorful ones you wear to bed for inspiration! OK, I have to admit, most of mine are the white cotton variety that I wear for work. But I do have the occasional wool socks for snowy days, the silky ones to wear under slacks with dressy flats, then there's the ... YEP! Bubblegum pink fuzzy oh-so-soft ones that make me feel young again!

When you think about it ....... are socks practical or passionate?
Because IMHO, they could be either! Just like a woman.
So, the next time you slip your feet into a pair of socks,
ask yourself ..... what will your socks say to you today ??

HUGS to everyone!!

Cowboy boots and hat

cowboy boots and hat 

soft touches, 

fingers reach me touch my soul deeply 

 snuggling together 

such an amazing night 

this can never last 

 me, holding his gaze 

goodbyes said at waffle house 

cowboy boots and hat 

LD Poetry©2008

Yesterday Once More

"When I was young I'd listen to the radio, waiting for my favorite songs......"
The Doobies told us to "Whooaaaa , listen to the music."
Folk singers and songwriters used music to get a message to the people.
Peter Paul and Mary sang "I dig rock and roll music"
Wild Cherry says "Play that Funky Music"
And Elvis sings: Memories, pressed between the pages of my mind...

Music is life's sound track. And frankly, I believe that. Advertisers must know something about that as well. Because every ad has a soundtrack. And that makes it memorable for us. (just the mention of an ad song, and it will stick in your brain all day!)

But the music I'm talking about today, is the music we hear that transports us back to another time, another place, another memory. How powerful it is when we hear the song that played on the radio when we were with that special someone. And its like reliving that moment all over again in our minds. Sometimes, I can close my eyes, and see myself in some other place and time. Music can affect our memories in a great way.

This train of thought got started yesterday with Josh Turner's No Rush; and I was reminded all over again of time spent chatting with someone special. When I'm driving in my car, if Chuck Mangione's "Feels So Good" comes on the radio, I'm transported back in time -- driving my El Camino to work, flying down Highway 101. Just a few bars of Surfin' USA and I'm standing in the quad at Wilcox High, and its Spirit Week. The Eagles "I Can't Tell You Why" and I'm back on the dance floor with Bill H. Or the song that was playing the first time you "vo-dee-oh-do'd". (Sorry, no one's getting that list!!! hehehe)

And sometimes it can remind us of those we've lost. I have one piece of music that was my stepson's favorite song to go to sleep with. And even though he was a teenager, he still put on music to fall asleep with. I can't listen to "Breath of Winter" without thinking of Dougie. (RIP son, I love you!) Or my daughter as she discovered the music of her era (Tag Team's Whoop There it Is). Or all of my kids serenading Hoobastank's The Reason. Kim singing "Near, far, wherever you are..." on the phone. And the endless repetitions of Crazy Train as the boys learned to play guitar.

I enjoy having music on in the background when I'm making memories. Even today, there are songs that make me think about certain people, certain places, certain things. And I hope I never lose that ....... for that would be to lose my memories.

So just remember, the next time you turn on some old tunes, let your memories wash over you like it's Yesterday once more.

HUGS to everyone!!

It's the thought that counts!

I'm always amazed when Christmas rolls around how commercialized its gotten. And moreso every year (or is that my age showing?) But when did we shift from "It's the thought that counts" to "How much money did you spend?"

I can remember being a youngster, maybe 12 or 13, and going to the local strip mall where there was something called Rasco Drug, and a K-Mart across the street. I felt so grown up to be shopping for my family on my own. I'd head into the stores with my $20-$40 (depending on how good babysitting had been!) and shop for hours, selecting just the right gifts. I am not sure I could tell you the things I bought, nor would I be convinced that my family would remember those gifts from long ago. But it wasn't about the things, as it was the thought. Trying to find that certain something so they would know that I cared about them.

When did expectations outgrow our pocketbooks?

In a convo with someone recently, we talked about "the little things". And I realized that ... its not just at Christmas time that the little things mean so much. It's all the time. What better way to say "I care about you" than with the little things. Knowing me, and what I need; the touch of a hand; brushing my hair from my eyes, being interested in my day. a flower plucked from the garden; a love note where I least expect it; something unexpected. (thank you KD, for "getting it"!!!! )

And even at Christmas, it wouldn't be about the money. It wouldn't be about the present. It would be about the gift of giving yourself, letting others know that you know them, care what they're about, what moves them. That would be the ultimate gift. Maybe I'm getting too old for Christmas. Or maybe sometimes I feel like I can't compete. I can say that I'm sort of like the crazy aunt everyone seems to have in their families.

For the last few years, the packages I have sent my nephews have been ... lets call them interesting. Or funny. :) I will usually get some kinds of 'goodies' and wrap them up. A package of Top Ramen, a pack of gum, or fruit roll ups, travel soaps. Just oddities, mostly edible --- after all, they ARE teenage boys! haha And then, wrapping it uniquely. Sometimes one within another, so that by the time they've opened my gift, they've had to unwrap about 10 items. The ones I like best are the ones where its a treasure hunt. I'll write up clues, and they have to figure out where the next hiding place is, to find something little wrapped up, along with the next treasure hunt note. But... that's just me :)

In another family, we drew names. Then had a limit of $1 to spend.... we'd all (about 15 of us!) troop to the dollar store, with our dollar in our hands. Trying hard not to let the rest of the family see what we're buying. Then we would head home, and get our gifts wrapped. Sometimes that gift had to be embellished in order to make it just perfect. I hope the kids all remember that as fondly as I do :)

Don't let the commercialism convince you to spend more than you can afford. Take some time this year to make it about the thought, and not the money. I've heard of folks using the "Make it or Bake it" rule of thumb. And for busy folks, there is nothing nicer than something home made from your own kitchen!

HUGS and happy shopping to everyone!!

Vibrators ?!?!?!?!!

Recently, I bought the craziest thing. As y'all know, I'm not the overly girly type. I don't need 20 different kinds of face wash, body wash, or shampoos. I'm good with a bottle of each, and I'm not overly picky as long as it does what it's supposed to do: wash said region of my anatomy. However. I have been feeling rather .... dreary ..... and thought I needed some kind of pick me up. So I went out and bought a vibrator ... but no!! not that kind! This is a face "vibrator". I figured I needed some 'radiance' for my face; and the cure for dull/tired skin seems to be this new thing. Its sort of a face scrubber, that vibrates. (I bought the Dove version, but I'm sure there are other brands out there as well. )

So, I get home and take it out of the package, and yes, the first thing I do (like every guy I know does!!!!) is to try it: Press the ON button and let her rip. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt!!! sweet! only... this is ... for ... my face. Hmmmm. OK. Open the second package and apply this cottony pad onto the head of this face washer. (it sticks using a velcro principle). Add a trickle of water and press against your face, and it begins to foam, washing your skin clean. and kind of tingly.

So... after a week of using this vibrating face washer... is it working?? I can't be sure if I'm achieving that "radiant glow" that was mentioned on the package. Nor am I sure that my face is any cleaner using this special tool with its special soap, than it would be with my regular bar soap. But ... what I am sure of is that its quite fun and amusing to "vibrate" my face clean :)

HUGS to everyone!!

Aprons

A long and tiring day, so I'm going to share something that was sent to me in email -- thanks Cat for sharing :)

The History of Aprons

I don't think our kids know what an apron is.

The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few and it was easier to wash aprons than dresses. An apron used less material, and along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears. From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids. And when the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it around her arms. Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove. Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls. In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds. When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes. REMEMBER: Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.

They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.
I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron!

My grandma always wore one... Did yours?

HUGS to everyone!

The Miscellaneous Side of Things

Sometimes its not easy to come up with blog topics! Someone asked me the other day how I decide what to blog about. Some have said they don't do anything interesting, so why write about it? And I like to counter that with ... why not?? It's when we practice our observing skills that we see something worth writing about. How a sunset moves us. What we feel when we hear a song. What made us smile today. Its when we learn how to focus on the little things, that the big things don't seem so overwhelming. But the best thing to blog about is something that comes from within; write things you know (and we all know ourselves, right?) and write from the heart.

Today, I had attempted to start a blog about "the other woman" because I heard a song on the radio (gotta love country music, right? haha) and had a tongue in cheek list of PROS - no man under foot all the time; no snoring to deal with; no one who leaves the toilet set up; and CONS - no man to cuddle with when you watch TV; no comforting snoring noises in the middle of the night (ok, didn't have a con to match the toilet seat one.. hahaha). Googled the topic when I got home, and naaa, it just didn't move me to write it. Too close to home perhaps? I think so.

So, I decided this would be a "catch up" kind of blog, tie up some loose ends, etc.

On the health side of things: After a CT Scan and a visit with a urologist, I'm having a "renal cyst" thing drained on Tuesday. And taking Wednesday off to "recuperate". hehehe And nearly fell over in sticker-shock when I saw the bill for my CT Scan... ouch!

On the weather side of things: There's no way I could have imagined that 60 would feel "cold" to me, but I was wanting something with sleeves on my arms when I left for work this morning! And then I thought about it. After a long summer of temps that didn't fall below 100, our temp was 40 degrees cooler than what we were used to. So yeah, I'm entitled to feel the chill. haha

On the voting side of things: Sure am glad all those ADS are over with! They were getting tiresome. Now they need to clean up the signs along streets, in empty lots, on every street corner.

On the thankful side of things: To all of you who take the time to read this craziness I call life!!

HUGS to everyone!!!

Election Day

Some interesting notes on the History of Voting:

Early Voting: Ancient Greece had one of the earliest forms of democracy, since at least 508 BC. Each year, the Greeks had a negative election -- voters were asked to cast a vote for the politician they most wanted to exile for ten years. (wow.... wouldn't THAT change the face of voting in America!)

When America was young, only white males over the age of 21 were allowed to vote.

The 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments to the U.S. Constitution were passed following the Civil War, in the later 1860s. They outlawed slavery and extended civil rights and suffrage (voting rights) to former slaves. The LEGAL right to vote for African-Americans was established, but numerous restrictions kept many blacks from ACTUALLY voting until the 1960s Voting Rights Act.

The 17th Amendment made it so U.S. Senators were directly elected by popular vote. Prior to 1913, Senators were appointed.

The 19th Amendment gave women the right to vote in 1920. This amendment resulted from an international movement of "Suffragettes". (GIRL power! hehehe)

The 26th Amendment lowered the voting age from 21 to 18. This occurred in 1971, amid the Vietnam War, when 18-year-olds were routinely drafted and sent to war without the right to vote.

As we look to the future, today marks a turning point in our history. And no matter which way the votes turn out, there's a long road ahead; no matter which candidates take office, or which party "rules", our country desperately needs some "home improvements".

Voting is a right, and a privilege. I hope you did your part!

HUGS to everyone!

Isn't it too early?

It's the first weekend of November, and I'm driving my car, punching the buttons on the radio *punch* -pause- *punch* -pause- *punch* ... waiiiiiiiit a minute, go back, wasn't that Bing??? Huh? Oh my gosh! a Christmas song??? Isn't it too early?? (sure seems it here, where it reached 90 degrees yet again today!)

I stopped and listened for a moment, because I'm a fan (just shy of fanatic!) when it comes to Christmas music. I think it's one of the world's great "feel goods". But ... where should a person draw the line? An occasional song in the beginning of November, building up to the a-n-t-i-c-i-p-a-t-i-o-n suits me just fine. But as I'm listening, I hear the station's format is All Christmas, All the time. shew. I have to admit, I reset that preset button to another station!! I don't think I can take that much Christmas music this early.

Then .. I arrived at work this morning, and our inhouse music is... yep, you guessed it .... All Christmas. All year long, we have radio for the first hour of the morning, then its off the air. But now, its on 24/7. It's going to be a very long 52 days. (geeee, have YOU started your shopping?? I sure haven't!) By the time Christmas arrives, I predict I will be sick of the whole darned thing. I know that Christmas music puts people in the joyful, giving mood. But isn't November 1 just a bit much on the side of commercialism, rather than the reason for the season?

Isn't it too early?
You decide.
I have already made up my mind.

HUGS to everyone!

(as "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas..."
runs through my mind.
Yet again.)

Creative Writing

Have you ever had someone give you a really interesting challenge? As most of you know, I love to write. blog. journal. and chat. I also like to try my hand at stories. But as I was chatting the other night... someone gave me a challenge to write a story... So... what kind of story? I asked. And here was the suggestion for a beginning point: "You are to arrive at the hotel as planned. It's a nice place, tucked away, private.... the room key is waiting for you at the desk, take the elevator up to the room". And of course, the first thing my mind says is Why? Who am I supposed to be meeting? And why are we meeting this way?? And I can tell that my mind has taken off, already imagining some kind of story, because I'm asking questions. Funny how a mind works, huh?

Now the easy thing for this would be a typical "romantic getaway" type story. Quite easy to be written, I'm a romantic at heart. But could I turn it into something that becomes mysterious as well? And with that thought, my mind jumped to the movie True Lies. Where she meets her husband in a hotel, his intention to create something romantic, her intention to play some kind of spy role because she's bored with her life. (I liked that movie, by the way.)

The gauntlet has been thrown down... and I'm going to write that story, and toss it back at him. Only to see if he can do the same. But what about the rest of you? Does an introduction like that make your mind begin to weave a tale? Imagine the possibilities? Want to create an ending? If so, give it a try ... and blog it!!

HUGS to everyone!

The Date 2006

We have been friendly chatters for a while now. and have met once in real life on a previous date. So we decided to set up another date. And I've been busy anticipating this date for a few days, rearranged my work schedule to accommodate being out of town. And the time is finally here. Rush home from work and shower, get ready, grab the pre-packed overnight bag, and head out the door. Because of the amount of driving, I knew that I would need to stop and get gas along the way. About an hour from home, I found a station and pulled in, filled up. When I got back in the car to start it, the car didn't seem right. (I knew in my gut at this point that I should turn and go back home, but anticipation won out!) Since the car is running, I choose to keep going, as I have one more stop along the way. Heading down the road, before I get back on the freeway, I see my last stop. A place called Hollywood Hustlers. Yep,,, a toy store ;)

I scuttle inside and make my selection, and pay for it, grinning on the inside as I think about what his reaction will be to my choice. I hurry back to my car and press the key fob to unlock the doors. and nothing happens. *press* *click* *press*press*press* nothing! huh? After a blonde moment, I realize I can open the door with the key (duh) and hop in the car, and attempt to start it. Nothing. Won't even turn over. OHhh Geeez. Now what??? stop and think. Call my son for ideas. Nothing. *sigh*

First call to AAA. And after the usual round of questions is : Ma'am, what's the address where you're at? And I don't have a clue what the address is. So, I chuckle and tell him to tell the driver the name of the store, it's the only one anywhere near here, and I'm sure they all know where it's at. (by this time, I'm blushing furiously as I talk to him on the phone, but ... he's sending someone out.) So, I sit down in my car to wait.

Next phone call is to my date: Guess what? My car broke down. Where are you? he asks. So, I fess up and tell him I broke down at the toy store. And he asks three questions: Are you ok? In a safe place? and What did you buy?? He's amazing, making me laugh in the middle of my crisis. Call me back, he says. So I hang around and wait.

The tow truck driver arrives, and checks over the car, and says yeah, more than just a battery, sounds like an alternator. Well, at 6pm on a weeknight, I'm not sure I'd find a mechanic who can fix that and get me back on the road, so I determine the truck driver needs to tow me home. *sigh* As he's loading up my car, I call my date and tell him what the problem is, and we bemoan the fact our date didn't happen. Call me when you get home safe, baby, he tells me. Ok, I will, I answer back.

So, up into the tow truck I climb. And I'm all kinds of shades of red because of where I broke down at, and the other obvious fact that I shopped first. The truck driver and I exchange a few brief comments about where to and that. We get on the highway and he gets this grin on his face... and glances over at me. I glance back, still blushing and trying to calm all the nerves I'm feeling. And he looks at me and asks: So, did you get all your Christmas shopping done??

Puppy Love

*sings* And they call it pupppppy love.... Yep. It's an oldie, but a goodie. On my way to work this morning, that song came on. And in the wee morning hours, it made my mind wander back to the "good old days" Do you remember your first puppy love? I can recall two.

My family moved into a new house when I was 6. And the kids next door were Michael and Susie. Michael was my first puppy love. He had blonde hair. Funny, I don't remember much else about him, or what we did besides riding bicycles. Susie was younger, played dolls with my sister, I think. One late summer day, in the back yard, while hiding behind the pine tree, he kissed me. (Although I'm sure at 6 it wasn't quite the romantic kind they have in the movies!) But it sticks in my memory.

My second puppy love was a boy in my fourth grade class. His name was John F. and I passed his house every day when I was walking to school. Some days, I was lucky enough to time it just right, and we would walk the last couple of blocks together. But at 9 years old, I was shy, self conscious, and much taller than him!! lol So I never, ever told him. That one lasted quite a long time ... all through fourth and into fifth grade! (That's when I discovered Bobby Sherman and Donny Osmond!! oh my! hahaha)

Fast forward to my 20th high school reunion. As is typical, there's a little bit (ok, a lot!!) of drinking going on. (and a few other things... we were kids of the 70s ya know!) And there he was ..... John F. ..... outside ..... on the steps of the hotel, having a smoke. Alcohol being the great equalizer that it is ... I went up and talked to him. And we talked. And I confessed my crush from those days at Bracher Elementary. It was amusing, and we both laughed, but then he asked me in all seriousness "Why didn't you ever say anything?" Good question.

Why don't we say anything? What makes us so shy about confessing our puppy loves? Easy to see its a school girl/boy thing, but as adults, do we still get puppy love feelings? My gut says yes! because puppy love is quite an additing feeling ---- we're all a-twitter when we see or speak with that person. The chemical endorphin type rush we get makes us feel really good (even though the crash at the end can be horrible.) I like to think that as adults even though we feel some kind of attraction for another, its whether or not we act on it that makes all the difference in the world. Having feelings isn't wrong, its what we do because of those feelings that make them wrong.

Now.....
.......... pause for a moment.....
....................................... and think back to your old puppy loves.

Hopefully, it brings as big a smile to you as remembering mine did to me!

HUGS to everyone!

Memories

Memories: We all have them. But how selective are we in what we remember? I've been thinking about things in the past, and wanting to jot a few notes about my own memories with my kids, because I thought we had some really great times (in spite of how things turned out in the long run).... but... is how I remember it really how it was? Are the memories I thought I was creating with the kids what they remember?

Take, for example, the blended family we created when I moved to Ohio. We were all getting to know each other, and as expected, it was quite the adjustment for the kids. Needless to say, there were a few altercations and harsh words on occasion. And after a particularly rough day, it was like "OK, enough is enough, something's got to give." (At this point in time, I was a stay at home mom to these six wonderful kids, but some days weren't so wonderful!)

It had been a rather squabbling type day, and the kids had finally settled into watching TV. So, in order to lighten up the entire mood of the day (keep in mind, I can be rather goofy from time to time.. hehehe) , I decided to dig in my "treasure bag of goodies" and pulled out a bag of Nerf balls. I show my "partner in crime" what I've got and with a grin, we head into the family room, balls hidden, but at the ready. We casually stand there behind the sofa, checking out the scene. A couple of the kids glance back, checking out why the 'rents are in the room. No one says anything, they just go back to watching their show. One look at each other, and we know its time, so we rear back and lob a couple of balls at the kids, and grab a couple more. All in all, a dozen balls get thrown into the room. And no sooner do the kids feel the incoming that they get up off their collective duffs and begin lobbing them back at us. Rocket, the dog, goes nuts and thinks this game is GREAT! Lots of laughter ensues, and the war goes on, back and forth, adults against the kids. And the kids are smiling, laughing, and even better, they're kind of bonding. It's no longer "us against them" between the six of them, its them against the 'rents! (and no, as I recall, they did NOT beat us!! hahahaha) Those were some great times, and a major turning point in the overall scheme of "everyone getting along". But more imporant, it was the start of some great family memories. (and, of course, they realized the new mom was somewhat of a nut!)

Now I'm wondering two things: Do they remember it the way I do? And is it among their own fave family memories??

When it comes down to the end of our time on Earth, all we have is our memories, all we take with us is our memories... so drag out your fave memory and share it with someone in your family!

HUGS to everyone!

Productivity vs Killing Time

How much time during our work day do we kill time? 10%? 20%? more?
Some days more than others? Today was a slow day in the claims office ... because we had everything caught up on Friday? because its relative to the number of shoppers in the store? (being the last week of the month, it is typical to have fewer shoppers in the store, waiting on their check on the first of the month.)

What do we base our job productivity on? There are some who don't care much about that, and go to their job with one thing in mind: to collect a paycheck. (And while I'm not against that .. I mean, I like work, but I wouldn't do it for free!) Then there are some who care a great deal about what they do, and why.

I'm sure there are productivity "markers" based on the job you're doing. If you're stock brokering, is a good day the day you "bag the elephant" [as they say in the movie Wall Street] ? If you're a used car salesman, is it the high profit sale you make to a businessman? or the lower profit sale you make to the single mom who desperately needs the car to get back and forth to work? If you're a stay at home mom (who, by the way, work the hardest, 24/7, in my opinion!) what is a good day for you? laundry finished, house clean, errands ran, kids tucked in bed? What part of your job is the "personal feel-goods" ??

I've been lucky in the jobs I've held over the years. I've done a lot of different things, and have an innate ability to break down tasks into workable portions and base my productivity and "personal feel-goods" into daily accomplishments and making sure my TO DO list is smaller when I leave than when I arrived.

But ... what triggers that sense within each of us? How and when do we learn about a job well done? Is it a part of our upbringing? And has this sense gone by the wayside?
Are we so caught up in the bottom line rewards that we forget about the people we're dealing with in the first place? No matter which job you're in, in the long run, it is always geared towards a customer. Be it service or sales of some product, the end of the line is the customer, or consumer.

So the next time you're wasting time at work ,,,... find something that will be a "personal feel-goods" at the end of the day.. and do it! You'll probably go home with a big smile on your face :) I know I do. (And it makes everyone else wonder what I've been up to.... )

HUGS to everyone!

.

Blogging

As usual, I can be found most often in a chat channel using IRC (Internet Relay Chat). And today we were talking about blogs... (curlers): I blog every few days or so, sometimes it's just a little blurb or something *shooes figures no one cares what I have to say anyway hehehe (curlers): me too (curlers): lol (shooes): :) (curlers): no one wants to read my drabble, but I share it anways. (Gal): funny how every blogging place has its own great features. Wish my fave features from each was all in one place. (TuLips): just like your men, GAL :)) (TuLips): no one give two hoots about what goes on in my life, cause it's boring hon (TuLips): Dear Blog... today I woke up... woohooo - started out right then :) (BobEvans): do you record your dreams for public review? (TuLips): just her sex ones, BobEvans (Gal): hahaha!! and yeah. I've done that, get up in the middle of the night and blog. then go back to sleep. but then, I'm not normal. (BobEvans): I don't know if I want to put all my info out there and soon the conversation in the chat channel died off: (Gal) and everyone is off reading something personal about someone else, in some other place, some other time. (curlers): lol (Gal): why are we all fascinated with how others are living? (Gal): is it because we're not as connected as we once were? And I got to thinking (don't I always ??? lol) about blogs in general. What's the draw to reading other blogs? And .. do those who blog read a lot of others? Or just a select few? Do those who don't write blogs tend to read more of them? Perhaps its like being a voyeur - getting a glimpse into another person's life and experiences. I tried to consider the type of blogs that interest me most. Usually it's the ones that are well written, with a dash of humor thrown in; and usually about life experiences and real thoughts. I don't usually care to read an unknown person's fiction, but I DO enjoy the fiction if I already know the person. It's funny, once you start reading a blog, and getting a slice of that person's life, you tend to go back and read it again. Besides the MySpace blogs of friends that I read faithfully, I read two others, and they're no one I've ever spoken with before. But it can be fun! And I hope those of you reading this feel the same way about my blogs: Its just a little slice of the pie from my little corner of the world. And hopefully brings a smile every now and again! So go out there and read a blog! or... write your own! And if you do, let me know where it is, so I can read it too!!

HUGS to everyone!

Vulnerable

Vulnerable: capable of being wounded or hurt. We've all felt this way from time to time. Sometimes more often than others, depending on what's going on in our lives.

One of the hardest things we can do is to share with someone the very things that are at the heart of us. Because after we've shared, we feel very vulnerable. But yet, sharing is the one thing we seem to need to do more often than not. For me personally, sharing things that leave me feeling vulnerable doesn't come easy. Recently, a good friend and I were sharing, and since neither of us is the type who share stuff often, I was touched, moved, by the willingness to open up. And I have to say that sharing things with me from the heart is like a vote of confidence in who I am, and the depth of the relationship between us. And that's a true sign of friendship; something I value very highly in this world.

And it got me to thinking: have we closed ourselves off so much so that we have stopped sharing the things that would draw us closer? Take a look at love, how it comes and goes these days -- marriages that don't last, people who fall in and out of love over and over again, or think the grass is greener over there. Most don't bother to stick it out through the bad times any more. But I ask you this: Would we be more willing to stick with it, if we learned to share and let ourselves be a little more vulnerable in the relationships that are important to us? Would we get back to more honest, basic living if we quit trying to dodge around those things?

Its a scary thing to expose ourselves to something new, different, challenging. If we were guaranteed that it wouldn't hurt us, we'd have no problem! But there are no guarantees in life. And some things are going to hurt us. If we live inside a bubble avoiding the hurts, we might miss the joys headed our way! I know I've been trying to be better at taking a few more risks when it comes to matters of the heart; to not shy away from expressing what I feel.

As Maya Angelou has said:

I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.

HUGS to everyone!

Just a dream

Now this is more normal .... I'm upstairs in an apartment home [sorry, don't recognize it, it's not one I've really lived in] and my bedroom has a carved dark wood door. I'm at my computer and I've been trying to set up dates via the internet. After a couple of loser dates, I finally have two that seem promising. Only in my jumbled mind, I've set them both up for the same night. Bob arrives first, and is very understanding, shakes my hand and turns to leave. Then Arthur comes up the stairs. He is cute, with golden curly hair, and blue blue eyes, he's tall, and kind of shy. We grab car keys and head out the door. I recall hollering to someone close by that I'm leaving.

I toss him the keys and let him drive, and we head out. Its been raining, so the streets are wet. We're turning down an on-ramp to the freeway, and take the next off-ramp. And I'm telling him how to drive, to slow down, because this off-ramp is tricky when wet (it's a familiar off-ramp to me, 13th street exit off 101 -- which I took to work every day for 22 years!) [ok ok, so I shouldn't be backseat driving...]. We had a good time, so he brought me back home. We go back to my room and he stays the night. There was no sex, but curling up next to him was heavenly. [and in my notes in the middle of the night I wrote "Arthur. Old Fashioned." hmm]

While he was sleeping, I got up, went to the kitchen for a drink of water. Mom was there, cleaning, and asked how it went. She smiles, knowing he's upstairs in my room. I pass my Aunt, who is busy cleaning the bathroom. Next scene, I hear crying - Steve's baby [who is Steve you're asking? lol my ex, and why does he have a baby at 52? and worse, why is it here? ] Settle the baby with a teenaged girl.

When I return back to my room, Arthur is awake, and we fight. I'm not who I said I was, he tells me. And I tell him I think he's wrong, but it's his choice, he's missing out on a great gal. And rather than run, he should stick around and give it a try, see if it goes anywhere.

That's about where I wake up. And can feel myself smiling in the dark. And decide I'd better write this down, before I lose it. I remember thinking to myself it was such a good dream, I'm sure I"ll remember. But I'm finding just mere hours later, the sequences, and the details are escaping me. If we fought, why did I wake up smiling? There must have been more. I know that I got a real sense about this Arthur, that I already knew him before I met him. "We've met before, once upon a dream." -Cinderella [no worries, I won't break into song!]

The hardest part I have with interpreting my own dreams is whether its solving some problem, or wishing something was true. Like... is Arthur someone I already know? or have yet to meet? Was this premonition? or was I wishing that someone I already know is gonna be my Arthur?

"Sommmmme daaaaay my Prince will come"
ooops sorry, just slipped out!
But some day.....

HUGS to everyone!

CrAzY Dreams

I've been pondering this one a couple of days because .... not a lick of it made sense! But that's nothing new to me. (I'm truly thinking I need to change my eating habits, or eating times, or try to find what triggers these strange ones!)

For some reason, the hallways and walkways of an airport seem endlessly long. And they're no better in dreams. I'm in a hallway with the usual non staining ugly industrial gray patterned carpet. I'm laden down with the usual bags, and holding the hand of a small girl. My sister is along on this trip, and she's also holding the hand of a small one. Walking seems to go slow; maybe its the endless corridor, but we finally arrive at our check-in point. and we get out our tickets. Odd as it may seem, it appears to be a picture colored in child like strokes. The attendant tells us things are ready, we may board, and do we have everything we need? ummm, huh? "Is there something we should know?" I ask her. She just smiles and says "Its all good, you look like you're ready. Watch your step when boarding the airbus." (Since when are they called an "airbus"?) As we walk down the corridor, we can see the airbus in front of us. I came to a stop and blinked a few times as I'm taking it all in. It's not like any "airbus" in my imagination. This one is open seating, some seats facing front, some backwards, like you'd see on a commuter train. The top is open. Or rather, there isn't a roof on this thing. And even though its the end of the evening, there is still enough twilight to make out most of the details. Like, this airbus is painted pink, with legs that appear to be running, and a huge smiling mouth underneath its front snout. [oh boy ... if i didnt know better, i'd wonder if i'd been drinking tequila!! lol]

We step in and stow our things underneath our seats (which lift up like the seats on a boat). The Captain [pilot?] appears to be a jolly old fellow, and makes us feel welcome. And its time for our journey to begin.

This thing starts its "take off" but .. it doesn't fly like any normal airplane, it seems to ride on invisible rails, skimming over rooftops and taking routes used for cars on the ground. We zoom between buildings, and I'm constantly pulling the hands of the girl I'm traveling with back inside the airbus. The wind is whoooshing through our hair, and as nighttime falls, street lights blink on , neon lights are seen across the city. We slow down and stop for a red light, and the Captain stands up and tells us its time for a break, waves his hand in the general direction of one of the taller building, sits back down and makes a right hand turn. The airbus comes to a halt on the street, and then proceeds to back into this tall building through an open garage door. We get up to stretch our legs and buy coffees as the snack bar.

As we reload back onto the airbus, I decided I wanted to sit along one of the running boards, legs stretched out, comfortable. As we pull out of the building, its as if the building is facing another direction, because we pull out over the water. And the bottom of the airbus trails along, leaving a wake behind us. Some of the water splashes up on to me, and I laugh, one hand trailing along in the water as well. The Captain slows the boat again to point out a landmark, but all I can do is stare at the water. It appears rather greenish at first, but lightens up as hundreds of fish come to the surface, breaking it with their face [snout? nose? beak? not sure of the proper term here], diving in unison back down, only to repeat it again. I call attention to it to the others on board this "pink pig airbus", but they're busy looking at something else.

Suddenly, one of the fish jumps out of the water, and into my lap. Ewwwww I squeeeeled as I tried to grab this slimey thing and toss it back. It wiggles out of my hands a couple of times before I get a good grip and toss it back into the water. I shudder in disgust [that's normal, i don't like to touch fish IRL either!] and begin to mumble to myself about what a strange trip this is. People turn to stare at me, wondering what the fuss was all about, and as I'm describing it to one, she turns and points out over the water, saying OMG!

I turn where I'm sitting [remember, i'm on the running board, quite close to the water!] and I see what she sees: a huge hulking green monster thing rising up out of the water, with the biggest head and shoulders I've ever seen [now, on a man, that can be a good thing, yes? hehe]. It starts walking closer alongside our airbus, closer with each step, and I can sense most of the other passengers shivering in fright, me along with them. But one is trying to cover up the little laughs exploding from his mouth. So I take another good look at this "monster" and realize its not a "monster" at all, just my brother in law, Rob, dressed in a costume to scare us!!

That's when I woke up. With both a sense of relief and a little bit of laughter as it finished up. But it kept me awake after that for nearly half an hour, trying to figure out the snippets of this dream. To no avail. Is it any wonder? lol

HUGS to everyone!

Kudos

Kudos is a singular Greek word meaning praise. Sometimes when we're given " kudos" it can have a different meaning, depending on where it comes from. Or who it comes from! And in the last 24 hours, I got a few kudos.

Yesterday at work I was doing some of the processing of defective items on the handheld computer. My "work space" for this is along the wall of a hallway between where people walk in and the Market Team's office. (Market Team is the group of folks who are above my store manager, making sure he's carrying out policy, etc.). Our head Market guy is Steve. He walks up and asks how it's going, and .. its been a tough week off and on for me, so I was honest and mentioned how I was feeling a little overwhelmed by some of it. And he said "Don't worry, you'll do fine. You'll learn quickly, and have it running great, just like you did in all the other departments you've worked in." Kudos!

Today, I was sweeping up my "office" (which is really a cage that gets locked up every night, because of the secured items in it) after most of the day's work was done. The store manager popped in on his way past and asked how I was liking the job. And I was honest... and said that I wasn't real sure about it, that it was difficult to do something totally different after doing the same thing for the past six years. And he told me "Not to worry, you'll do fine. You're the right person for the job." Kudos!

And in talking about the economy and taxes, someone who knows me well says "I'm pissed off with people that are doing well, that don't want to share. Here it is, you are working damned hard, damn damn harder than anybody I know, and all the breaks go to the wealthy." Kudos!

And sometimes, we have to give kudos as well:

To my sis, Em : Leaving something is hard; but going to something totally new, and challenging, is worth it. I've watched you grow as a person in the past three years, and you're going to be GREAT in this new position! 5374 will miss you bunches! KUDOS Sis!!

HUGS to everyone!

Attitudes

Have you ever wondered - been amazed - in total awe of - how different things look when we adjust our attitude? Or when we realize that our petty issues aren't nearly as bad as someone else's problems??

Yesterday was a rough day at work, and I brought that attitude home with me. I am unhappy with myself when I let that happen. Why should I be carrying all that baggage of the day into my evening, my time away from work? And yet, we still do it, even when we're aware.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~Winston Churchill

As luck would have it ... correction: it isn't luck ..... it is much caring. But, I always feel better after I'm able to talk the bad things out with someone very special to me. He shares his wisdom, and asks questions so that I can figure out my direction on my own. He is a blessing to have in my life!! (HUGS!)

If you don't like something change it;
if you can't change it,
change the way you think about it.
~Mary Engelbreit

Sometimes, just talking about it makes it better. Toward the end of my evening, most of my attitude was gone, and my mindset was more about finding a way to succeed at my new position rather than fight what it is for the moment. And maybe that would enlighten me to a way to make things better - for me, and for work. Just that slight change in thinking, and today went much smoother. (Of course, having a request fulfilled certainly added to a better attitude .... *giggles* ... TY !! )

Wouldn't it be nice if there was some kind of attitude adjustment switch we could flip on or off as we're leaving work? Over the years, especially when my kids were younger, I realized how important it is to use the time between work and home to change up that attitude. And I've found several things that do the trick: Peace and quiet; classical music; good 80's rock; or some jumping oldies; calling a good friend. Whatever the trick is for you, sometimes its just being aware of our attitude --- before we get home ... so we don't have to take it out on the dog. :)

HUGS to everyone