Just gotta Rant

For me, sometimes just writing it all down gets it out of my system.  We've become a society of "entitlement" - I notice it at work.  We hire people and when they don't do the job or task the way its supposed to be done, lately everyone just shrugs it off or ignores it as if they're just happy to have a body who shows up to partially do the job they were hired to do.   Take the phrase "clean up after yourself".  Moms have been cleaning up after kids their whole life.  A mom who doesn't take the time to teach their kid to clean up after themselves become what we now have at work:  entitled employees.  What's going to become of the world in general when the "moms" are gone and all that's left are the entitled ones?  Who's going to do the cleaning up??   

Is it a sign that I've become "old" when it bothers me to see the decline of the next generation?  I think it is!

Which brings me to the real reason I had a lousy day.  I had a voice message from my sister telling me that she's trying to coordinate a dinner at my brother's house because "mom's just exhausted from all the cleaning and entertaining."  Ummm.  Excuuuuse me but mom's 79 years old.  She shouldn't have to be raising her grandsons -- cooking and cleaning up after them.  She lets them live pretty much rent free in her house.  They have a live-in cook and maid.   And whenever sis wants to jet off with her friends, mom's stuck with her dog.  Who, by the way, gets so upset at being left behind that she throws up all over mom's bed every night she's left there.  Which leaves mom to wash all the bedding.   I was so freaking pissed off at this all day long.  Sure, my sister helps in her way --- by throwing money at a situation. Well, sorry, but that's not going to work for your youngest son who's been discarded from living at his mother's and his father's homes.  He has a part time job, and no one to help teach him how to be a self sufficient adult; no one to walk him through what to do when you get a ticket, when your bank account has a problem, when your car breaks down and you don't have the money for repairs.   Who's going to teach him?   

I'm trying to be ... understanding with my sister's own situation.  She has cancer, stage iv, pancreatic.  It seems to me she's trying to do everything that's ever been on her bucket list.  She takes off for weekends, for drives, for outings with girlfriends.  And I'm not begrudging her those things. But I just don't feel as if she should abandon everything else for that.  She has three sons, and they need her, she needs to spend time with them and make sure they know things; are able to go on, before she's gone.

Don't call me and leave me cryptic messages that insinuate that me and my kids coming for a visit is a hardship on Mom.  I've spent nearly every vacation hour I earn going up and helping Mom do what needs doing.  I don't resent any of it, but sheesh, ya'll live right there! and visit her house every day.  You can't lift a finger, say hey, is there anything I need to do for you?   In defense of the siblings, if something needs doing, Mom should just ask.  But she doesn't, never has, errr... never had to.  Dad was always there to take care of things.  But Dad's gone.  They need to step in and take care of her.  They have NO IDEA what they'll lose when she's gone.  

I sit here shaking my head, and shaking on the inside as well, truly upset over all of this.  Yes, the family that lives away from me has their own dynamics.  If that's the case, if that's how it's going to be, then so be it. But don't bother calling me to leave passive aggressive messages on my voice mail.  Just because Sis is some kind of boss in her job, she ain't the boss of me.

I know that once my mom is gone - and let's face it, at 79 years, it's hard to say how many more are left.  Her sister is 81, and just discovered she has cancer. She's refusing treatment, which I expected, we've talked about it at length.  In fact, losing my Aunt will be devastating for me. We're .... two of a kind, SO not like my mother or sister,  and have pretty much the same outlook on how things ought to be.  

I'd like to say I feel better getting this off my chest, but so far, not so much.  It was very difficult to talk to my Mom on the phone today.  I didn't want to tell her what my sister said.  What made it hard is Mom always taught me:  if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything. 

Which leaves me asking a question for the masses:   My brother loves to have people over, to BBQ for everyone.  And it's real nice when he does, he's an awesome cook.  However, his idea of dinner time is to start cooking at 6pm, and eating at 8pm.  I know, everyone's different.  And having a BBQ for friends and such is different than a BBQ for family, with your Mom.  If you know that eating so late isn't good for your Mom, that she doesn't sleep after eating so late, wouldn't you adjust your dinner time so that it's earlier to suit her?   So the question is:  Should Mom always have to work around the rest of the family's schedule?  Or should they make her a priority and work their schedule around her once in a while?

Rants about chatting

No one is more arrogant toward women, more aggressive or scornful, 

than the man who is anxious about his virility. ~~Simone de Beauvoir

Saw this quote online today, and it reminded me of chatters ...... It's not the first time, and won't be the last, but the other day, I started up a chat with someone who's local to me (meaning within 50 miles! lol) and we exchanged the usual up front questions about age and jobs. This one was a teacher. I think in all, we exchanged maybe 5 lines of conversation when his next line was ... "So, are your nipples brown or pink?" And my reply was "and... we're done!" and he promptly went on my "ignore this person" list. Ok there are some creepy types out there, but this one bothered me a bit... he was up front enough to tell me he was a teacher .. and he's out there teaching our kids????? ACK. Why is it that men think they need to know that? Are they under the assumption that asking those kinds of questions turn women on? 

When it comes to conversations with the opposite sex .... are there limitations to the kinds of questions one should ask? or answer to? I checked, and there are a number of websites that deal with chatting etiquette. And most have sound advice. One of the worst things to deal with are what I like to call HNG's, or Horny Net Geeks. They're the kind who are generally rude, and ask about personal information as if it's their God given right to know everything about you. They have little or no manners, and seem to treat people like they don't have feelings, like they're not other real people. Or perhaps they assume that because we're online and chatting, we're so desparate, that we'll answer to anything just to talk to someone, no matter that he's a sorry HNG. For me, I don't and won't, put up with that kind of behavior. And I'm encouraging the rest of you to get a thick skin when it comes to getting questions like this, and put that HNG in his place. We're better than that. And deserve to be treated with respect. 

 Well, I could fill this with a bunch of "If only... " phrases. But the men who are worthy, already know it. And the ones who are HNG's on a selfish pursuit won't read this anyhow. LOL

HUGS to everyone!!