Powerless

Yesterday, that's the word that popped into my head. I was driving home from work, and *bam* it just hit me. I've had that happen a time or two and later after pondering the word or subject, I might go home and write a poem about it; or a blog; or something. But nothing came to mind at all yesterday, or today.

But quick, off the top of your head, answer me this: What makes you feel powerless???
My real quick answer is Hershey's chocolate, extra cheesy pizza, and my computer. If there is a Hershey bar within reach, my mouth is watering, and I can't resist. The same goes for the pizza ... I'll grab it cold for breakfast, eat it on the way to work if there's leftovers in the fridge. Then there's my computer. When I get home from work, it's the first thing that happens: flip the switch, power it up, listen to the fans whirrrrr, the hard drive brrzzt'ing across whatever its looking at, finding the source to make it all come to life. All to bring me ... in essence ... the world.

I've told a few stories about my chatting experiences. There's nothing better than turning on the computer, logging in and hearing those three little words: "You've got mail". So much so, they made a movie about it! *grin* But just as I feel powerless against the Hershey bar and the pizza that both scream my name if I'm within a hundred yards, I am the same way with my computer. On weekends, I roll out of bed and press ON before anything else. And it's almost as if its a lover who crooks his finger and says "...c'mere and play with me, you know you want to...." And I'm there. Probably more than I should be, but sometimes not near enough as I want to be! Controlling the "lets chat" impulses can sometimes be very difficult. That's when procrastination comes in handy: ~~I'm gonna chat, I'll do the dishes tomorrow~~ hehehe

I've changed how I intended to end this blog three times now, and maybe that's a sign that I should just leave it at that. (ha! I don't always follow the signs, though!) I've got one thing in my life that I'm powerless over. (And while "chatting" could be the answer in that equation, it's something more specific) No matter how determined I get in trying make a change so that I can empower myself again, I go back to it, or get drawn back in. Time and again, an ongoing thing for years now. One step forward results in two steps back, and I'm right where I was all over again. (Boy, it almost sounds as if I am in need of a good 12-step program!!)

But in order for things to change, we can't just wait, feeling powerless, and hoping for things to get better. We need to be proactive, and do things that will create a change. And I should be the first to take my own advice! Given the state of our economy, its the same: we feel powerless in the changes that others are forcing upon us. But that's the time to say "Don't give up"; to get proactive and begin doing things that make the changes needed. Maybe it's only one little thing, but the little things add up!!!

HUGS to everyone!