Freestone Park

"Listen - what's that noise? It's a train whistle, inviting you to climb aboard! Climb onto Freestone's miniature train, and hold onto your hat in one of the open-air coaches.  The 1880s replica engine pulls your 'little pufferbellies' around the park on a three-quarter-mile ride, past grassy playgrounds and sparkling lakes."

Arizona has a long and storied history with railroads. Railroads fueled the state's first industries, hauling to east and west coast hubs the copper and cotton upon which the state's initial boom was built.

 It's awfully tough to choose your favorite from the 30 beautifully carved ponies on Freestone's Allan Herschell antique carousel. This refurbished 1951 carousel casts a spell on riders young and old alike, with lights, music, and of course, its prancing painted ponies.

After a trek around the park,
 its nice to sit by the water
and relax for a few minutes. 

This is one of my favorite places
to do my walking, there is always
something to see.
(More pix from today here.)

Casa Consuelo

Lately, I've become fascinated with homes that are different than the suburban lookalikes in so many cities.  Especially the new micro homes that are cropping up in places.  I just love this kitchen... check out the rest of the photos of  Casa Consuelo (link provided)

Choosing Celibacy

June 23rd.... 2005.  That's the last time I was physically intimate with a man.  To many, that seems like a very long time.  (It does to me as well.)  And most of you are probably asking the usual question:  WHY?

I googled "choosing celibacy" to see if there are others who are making the same choice I am, and I found the answer is a big YES.  Most of the media posts about teens and twenty somethings who abstain, waiting for marriage.  There are four very good non-religious reasons to choose celibacy, health being the most obvious.  STDs are rampant and who needs that?  Intimacy is another reason:  Sex is bound to intimacy. The lack of desirable partners or just having been burned really badly is reason enough to turn some of us off from sharing our bodies and emotions with others.   Time, of course, has become another issue as well.  With both partners working, sometimes long hours in order to get ahead, no one's in the mood after a long day at work. The last reason I found was Power.  This one surprised me, I hadn't thought of it in that way before.  "Choosing celibacy can be an empowering move. As with anything in life when we make a conscious choice to do or not do something, it gives a sense of control and purpose in our lives."

I think my reasons are a combination of all of those.  I was in a marriage that failed, and given that it takes two -- part of the blame falls with me, I'm certain.  Wanting to get back to being a 'whole person' again, I waited a while after I was divorced to have sex.  When I felt the time was right, I dated and had a few ... encounters.  While it was pleasurable in the moment, it just didn't sit right with me that there wasn't a deeper connection, a relationship with them.  I tried dating steadily with one man, but we never had a good connection that would build into something deeper.  (The first time a date ended at his place, he showed me a drawer with a ping pong paddle in it and asked if I wanted to spank him.... wasn't my cup of tea!)  My last date was with a man I'd known for over a year, we decided to meet and because there was a connection outside of a sexual date, it was a very good sexual date!! 

I've had a couple other dates since that time, but right from the start, I've told them I'm not interested in a relationship that centers around sex.  It must be part of the Male Conquest Gene that made them think they could change my mind.  Usually within the first couple of hours, there were hints about "going back to my place" .....  sorry, dudes, this old gal doesn't work that way!!

So ... just how do I work?  I wish I had an answer.  But the one thing I'm certain of:  I am not willing to settle, nor to give out favors in order to win affection.  I'm too old for games.  I need to feel a bond, have things in common with a person.  to be able to talk, laugh, read, do things together.  Hard to find that when the world's way is summed up this way:  Men need to have sex to feel loved; women need to feel loved to have sex.

3am

3am is a lousy time to be awake.   the wee hours of the morning are when I can't seem to control the things that bother me, sometimes writing about it helps; as if i'm putting a worry down on paper means i can let go, if only for a little while.  And then get back to sleep.

5pm:  Sometimes I make myself laugh when I come back to these and re-read them in the light of day when the worries aren't in the front of my thoughts.  Is our psyche telling us that we have some kind of issue and ist helping our brain work through it in the wee morning hours when our brains aren't otherwise engaged in the normal day to day stuff??  Seems logical to me.   :)

Its Finally Friday, and a weekend for me as well.  Hope you're making it a good one!!

The Wall

Because of a new computer program that was implemented last week at work, things were getting bogged down and behind, so I worked a half day on Sunday, which meant working another half day today.  Not half bad, considering its a gorgeous day here in the Valley of the Sun !!

Because of the extra time, I chose to do my workout early; I hit the gym with a good attitude, cranking up the treadmill.  My goal was sixty minutes.  I've always heard people talk about 'the wall' when it comes to exercising, but as a chubby chick who rarely pushes the limits when it comes to being physical, its not something I'm familiar with. 

Usually when I do the treadmill, or the elliptical machine, its with the intention of doing 30 minutes.  That's about what it takes to tire me out, get me winded, make my muscles say "whoa nelly, what's going on here?"  Maybe it was setting the goal of 60 minute ahead of time.  Or maybe it was because I left work early and there wasn't all this pressure to get home to get things done.  Or maybe my body is changing enough that it will take more. 

I set a very average pace of 3.3 miles per hour, incline at 3, and set off on my way, plodding along at a decent clip.  20 minutes into it, and I'm feeling pretty good, with my feet slapping out a rhythm that says "keep ... going.... keep ... going".  After 30 minutes, I lowered the incline; but the speed wasn't enough.  I upped it to 3.5  ..... 3.7 .... 3.8 was where I felt pretty comfortable.  The next 30 minutes were slapped out quick, and I honestly felt like I could keep on going.  My rhythm was good, I wasn't breathing too hard, my skin was "glowing"  (old ladies don't sweat, we glow! hehehe) 

10 minutes to go and I felt the need for speed.  Upped it to 4.5 and sprinted for 90 seconds, then back down to 3.8.  I finished at 3.35 miles in 60 minutes.  The neat thing?  Is that I know that I can do it now.   Which means I'll be doing it again!

PS:  This week's weigh in with Daemeon was only -0.5 pounds.  But credit where its due:  it wasn't a gain, which is good; and body weight shifts 1-2 pounds easily depending on what you eat and drink.  We shall see what next week holds!

Mistakes and Changes

"... all of life isn't like brain surgery, not every mistake is fatal."

We've all made mistakes in our lives. It's amazing how very big they can seem in our own minds. And how, sometimes years later, you talk about it, and realize it wasn't as big to the other person involved. We'd do well to remember that not every mistake we make is there to pull us under and ruin things.

"Sometimes you have to reach deep down in your heart and decide what road you're going to take. And all choices involve some sort of sacrifice. But in the end, you know whether or not you made the right decision."

It's so hard at times to commit to that choice. Even if we think it's best, its never easy. With every choice there are good things and bad things. I think the easiest is making sure the good outweighs the bad. But sometimes that's not known for a long time afterward.

It was a hard unknown choice to make when I decided to uproot me and my son and move to Arizona. The only people I knew here was my aunt and uncle. I remember thinking as I drove a huge truck and trailered my car "What the heck am I doing? I left everything behind, to start all over again, and I'm going to be 50 soon!" I had some pretty serious doubts. Lucky, I work for a Big Box store and a transfer let me keep a job that was familiar. But I still had to find a place to live, figure out where stores and necessary services were. Once here, it wasn't uncommon for me to be out driving and have to call my aunt and ask "Where am I?" or how to get somewhere (like home!) lol

But now that I can look back, I can see where it was very good for me in so many ways. There are a few things I miss, and it might have been nice to stay there for my son to finish college. But our lives here are very good now; he's in college here, my job and the economy afforded me to purchase my very own home. And I feel as if I've come home. :)

Changes can be good; even what might look like a mistake, may turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Maybe that's all about attitude.

HUGS to everyone!

Broken

wake up to a sunny day
not a cloud up in the sky
then it starts to rain

my defenses hit the ground
and shatter all around
so open and exposed

i found strength in the struggle
face to face with my trouble

when you're broken
in a million little pieces
and you're trying
but you can't hold on any more

every tear falls down for a reason
don't you stop believing in yourself

better days are gonna find you once again
every piece will find its place


(From the movie, Broken Bridges)

Bluesy Sunday

Here it is, Sunday afternoon, and I'm feeling a little blue and tired. I normally have the weekends off, but this morning, I needed to go in to work for an hour or two. Which always turns into 3 or 4. By the time I was done, I needed some groceries, which of course needed to come right home and be refrigerated. Which was a very convenient excuse not to hit the gym today. Once home, I lost my sense of purpose, and it seems everything I touched didn't get done. Or maybe I just wasn't focused enough.
How do you find your focus again once it's taken a downturn??



On top of that, if you're one to follow the news, everything looks so bleak lately. And yet, the earth still turns, and mother nature is still doing her thing, providing us with beauty every single moment, if we choose to pay attention. Like birds. Every day they wake up and sing at the morning sun. Seems to me they're happy to have made it another day. Perhaps we should take a lesson from those birds and sing at the sun ourselves!

Nature does not hurry,
yet everything is accomplished.
~Lao Tzu

Two Weeks

I am now chocolate free for two weeks.
14 long days.
I might even go as far as saying sugar free --
but that would be nearly impossible as it
seems to be hidden in every food we eat.

For a while, I wondered if I would endure.
And so far, so good.

However.
Today was much harder.
Thankfully, I don't have any in the house.
I would surely have eaten some, if not all.

I have been trying to stay in tune with my feelings as I go through this yet another series of going to the gym, watching what I eat, trying to lose some pounds.
This time I seem to have a better handle on it. Mostly.
But when I'm stressed.
Or when I'm sad/blue/depressed.
Those are the hardest times to avoid the comfort foods.

Today, I started the day all gung-ho for getting things done; got the backyard cleaned up, did some strength training, got my hour in the sun as I read a good book. But somewhere between loads of laundry and lunch, I lost my interest. I just wanted to curl into bed, I couldn't settle with anything. As a result, I had a few more carbs today than I should have. I should have gone for a walk. Or headed to the gym.

Choices are everything.
May tomorrow be better.

Saturdays

It's a beautiful morning here in the Valley of the Sun. Sunrise is coming earlier every day; and this morning the sun is intense very early. 9am and I've already cleaned up the yard, hosed off the patio, and my fav lounge chair is "in position". I just spent the last hour in the sun, reading a book of course. But I find I have to -- no, need to -- take a break from reading about every 45 minutes, as my eyes grow weary after that and need a break.

So I grabbed my weights and did my single leg bicep curls, birdys and such. Its nice to be able to be in the fresh air, to gaze into the sky as I'm trying to hold my balance. I can feel the little tiny muscles (are they the muscles of the major muscles?) as they seem to knit together, trying to grow stronger, as I improve my balance. It's a far cry from where it used to be, but not so bad for a middle aged woman. (I don't dare call my self an old woman just yet!)

I can't help but wish I was out on a day trip, camera in hand, but there are too many chores that need to be done, and only today to do them in. *sigh* Sometimes work can get in the way of having a life!!

The book I'm reading is about two small town sisters; one grows up and moves away to New York, with a sophisticated look and attitude, with a job to match. When her father has a heart attack, he begs her to come home. When she does, all the things she tried to escape from come flooding back. We'll see how the story plays out, but in the meantime, it makes me think about my own growing up memories, old places and old friendships. I'm lucky in that the house I grew up in, my folks still live in it, and things haven't changed a whole lot. It's always nice to go home time and again, I'm way overdue.

Speaking of which, lately I've been following a blog .... most days is a post from the bay area, with a unique viewpoint, and it makes me long for home all over again. Have a peek at Lloyd Kahn's blog here. Every day he finds new things to share, and I love his simple thoughts.

Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

Get Lucky!

Everything will come together.
Some how.
Some way.
Some day.
I believe that with all my heart.
Maybe you don't think it will ever happen.
But it will.
~~~~~~
March 17 came and went - the day my daughter turned 30. Doesn't seem possible to have a 30 year old daughter when I keep thinking I'm still 39 ... over and over and over again! hahaha She's a beautiful young woman, and I'm so proud of her. She's overcome many obstacles in her life, and just keeps getting better. I love you, T!!
~~~~~~
March 17 and shamrocks makes me think of the role luck plays in our lives. Some of us feel lucky in one area or another, but maybe not all areas. That's quite normal. When one portion goes well, something else feels as if its not going quite as well. A little reading on the topic reminded me of this:

Change your beliefs, you change your behavior.
Change your behavior, change how you make choices.
Change your choices, get more chances.
Get more chances, take more risks.
Take more risks, find more four-leaf clovers.

"How can you say luck and chance are the same thing?
Chance is the first step you take, luck is what comes afterward."
~Amy Tan

Lucky HUGS to everyone!

PT, week 1

I had my second Personal Trainer session with Daemeon today, and as a young'un, I'm not sure he understands the limitations of an old lady's body! Situps aren't what they used to be, there's too much gut in the way to crunch all the way up. When you squish that much body into a little space, there are things that "give way" in other ways. *laughs* (You'll know when you get old too!)

Today, more of the long bridges, 30 seconds on my elbows and toes. Proudly, I made 2 sets at 30 seconds, the third set, only 23 seconds. But... better than last week and that's the goal! Lots of upper body work today, and lots of balance. I even lifted some free weights, prone on my back, chest presses with 45 lbs, for a total of 20 presses. I think my wobbly-ness had Daemeon a little nervous. *smiles* but I did them!!

When I arrived today, after the hello, how are you's out of the way, he was ready to get started. But I was like "Don't I have to get weighed in?" He looked at me... "You want to be weighed? Most of my female clients prefer not to." "Nope, that's why I'm here, so let's do it." I hopped on that scale, adjusted the slides, readjusted the slides, and whoa.... down 6.5 lbs! I was stoked!! Of course a high five from Daemeon!!

We'll see what this next week holds.... :)

New PT

Not only has it been a busy week at work, but the stress is building; as a stress reducer, I recommitted myself and my time at the gym, and also hired a Personal Trainer.

Let me tell you about Daemeon ..... he played college football, and he's tall, dark and handsome. Which makes you wonder why would a gal want to get all sweaty in front of someone like that? It's his attitude, to tell you the truth. He loves being a PT and brings a lot of enthusiasm. And he knows how to push someone (me!) who doesn't want to do things!

It's fun to give him a hard time when he tells me what exercise we're going to do. One of the things I need to work on is balance; my left leg is much stronger than my right. An upper body workout was Wednesday's "treat"... The exercise? holding 10 lb weights in each hand, stand on one foot, raise arms up, and lower them slowly. Repeat 10 times each side. I forget the fancy name he called them, but to me??? I call them Birdy's because its like flapping wings!!

Next up : 20 pushups. He counts them off... " 1, 2, 3, ..... 17, 18, 19... and give me 5 more..." and I groaaaaan as I continue to push up. Back to birdy's. Then more pushups. Then more birdy's, and one last set of pushups. He called this a super set. And yes, it worked me hard. Two days later, I could still feel the burn in my arms as I tried to do things at work! (But I won't tell Daemeon that! he'd just work me harder next time!!)

We'll just see how this goes the first week ...

Age Signs

Lately, I'm noticing that thing I did with ease, things I took for granted, are now a little different as I get older. Of course, the first thing to go was the eyes. Reading used to be my greatest pleasure. Thanks to large print books, and the ability to increase the font on my computers and the kindle, I can still have this pleasure, its just adjusted a little bit. But with reading glasses, it all works out fine. Well, mostly fine.

When I send or receive a text message on my phone, I need my glasses. I keep both my glasses, and my phone, next to my bed -- in case I get some all important message (ie: "play BBKing's song!!) or just the little good morning's or hello's that tend to come across my phone. So Saturday morning, I'm slowly waking up, it's early, and my phone beeps, I have a new text. Ok, so I grab glasses and stick them on, and try to read my phone. And I'm thinking "Maaaan, either my eyes are really tired, or I need to get my eyes checked. I can barely see my phone this morning!!" Squinting away, I answer my text and roll over to catch just a few more minutes under the warm snuggly covers. Later, when I was fully awake and getting up, I look over at my phone, and the glasses I'd tried to read my phone with. I had myself a really good laugh when I realized that I'd put on my sunglasses instead of reading glasses. hehehehhee

*Sigh* some days.... :)

Futile Efforts

Last weekend was a really lousy weekend for me, emotionally. I can feel when I'm slipping toward the side of being depressed and know that I need to do something to change that. It's rather hard to fight when you become mired in it; nothing that needs to be done sounds appealing, even the things I enjoy, like my photography, don't hold any interest for me when I get that way. Rather than allow it to get any worse, I determined that I needed to take control and see if I could change it.

On Monday after work, even though I was tired, and had no interest, I cajoled myself into grabbing my things and slipping into the gym. I wasn't going to do much, just my usual routine on the weight resistance machines, which takes about 30 minutes. Afterwards, a 30 minute walk in the local park since our weather is so nice right now. I felt good, refreshed, and just tired out enough that I thought for sure I would sleep well. Tuesday, I skipped the gym (its good to wait a day inbetween weights to give your body a chance to renew itself), and came home to do some yoga on my mat out in the back yard -- got a little sun, some fresh air, always nice to relax that way!

Wednesday, another round of weight resistance at the gym, and a longer walk in the park afterward. Thursday is my "free day", the day I take my son to the library and out for Taco Bell (I have the steak taco salad! yum) Friday, back at the gym, and then another hour long walk in the park.

During the week, my calorie intake was about 1600 a day, except for Thursday, which goes up with the taco salad to about 2000. On Friday, which is "donut day" at work, I allowed myself one (yes, I gave in, but shouldn't have, I'm sure!) bringing my total to 1800. But 20o calories on a day I'm going to work out shouldn't make that much difference if I calculate by the guidelines that 3500 calories = 1 pound. (Either they lie to us, or my body has a different built-in calculator that drops off zeros and that 35 calories = 1 pound!!)

Saturday morning, I grabbed a bottle of water, my camera, and headed to the local park for another walk, covering 2+ miles in about an hour. (I kept stopping to take pictures!) When I got home, I had peanut butter on toast, finished my water, worked in the yard for an hour. Dinner was a scoop of mashed taters and bbq'd chicken.

And here we are at Sunday morning. The results of my work and careful eating? up 2 pounds. And I am depressed, in tears, all over again. Seems like a totally futile effort. Yes, I know what they say: muscles weigh more than fat. Weight can fluctuate a pound or two just from water on a daily basis. I shouldn't be watching the scale that close. I've heard these things all my life. And I'm convinced that not all calories are the same. When I asked my doc about this (I've been fighting the same five pounds for a year now) he said I'm eating too much. When I hired a personal trainer to evaluate my workouts and eating habits, she said I'm not eating enough. I've tried the paleo diet, eliminating processed foods and grains. I've tried low fat diets, no sugar diets, and everything else it seems.

And my final conclusion?

A week without chocolate that puts on two pounds is just not worth it!

Ok, so I'll keep going to the gym this week as well, because it did help my mental state in the short term. And the bottom line is being healthy, not some number on a scale. I'd be healthier at a lesser weight, I'm sure, but not if it involves eating incorrectly.

The Naked Thumb

When it comes to jewelry, I've never been the type to want anything fancy or expensive. To me, it's not what it is that's important, its the gift/giver that makes a piece special. Or maybe its the reason for the piece -- call me sentimental (I know I am!). In fact, one of the lines to a Tom Waits song is " ... he gave her a dimestore watch and a ring made from a spoon ... ", and to me that's it exactly. It wasn't a 1 carat diamond in some fancy setting - spending money on a gift is easy; giving someone something from the heart is much harder. And means that much more.

So how did my thumb get naked?

Almost a year ago, to celebrate a turning point in a relationship, I bought a second thumb ring (the first one celebrated something in my own life! see post here ) Thursday at work, I had to do some maneuvering and cleaning and somehow it slipped off. I looked and looked, to no avail. And went with a naked thumb the entire day. It wasn't about losing the ring itself, as it wasn't expensive; I was more upset with losing the symbolism that went with the ring.

When I got to work today, our jewelry dept had a duplicate of the ring, so of course, I had to get it. And requested a txt message to have the sentiment "restarted" again!!

I'm so happy my thumb isn't naked anymore!

Hit the Moon!

One of my all time favorite movies is Pillow Talk. To me, there's something special about the chemistry between Doris Day and Rock Hudson. Tony Randall, of course, just adds to make it magical. But one of the best exchanges goes like this:

He: "How do you know you don't love me? We've never even kissed!

(Doris Day kisses Tony Randall... without much reaction)

He: "Well, they didn't hit the moon with the first shot."

She: "I guess that's what I want... to hit the moon."


Isn't that what we all want? To hit the moon? To find love that makes our heart sing, our step light, and puts a smile on our face? Love, to me, is more than just a chemical reaction between two people. I've been married before (more than once) and a chemical lust just isn't enough. I've always known that what I was searching for was my best friend, a companion, my soul mate, as they like to say. Never an easy thing to find. Or maybe you can't search for it, as if shopping for the next best pair of shoes. When it happens, it just happens.

In the meantime, there are ways to feel more alive as we're waiting. With a few extra minutes, try slipping on your headphones on and listen to something you wouldn't ordinarily listen to. Or maybe your time waiting for laundry to finish is the time to pick up a book you've never read before, something from a different genre, a classic you've always wanted to read but never took the time. Or -- pretend you're a famous person, incognito. Slip into a pair of outrageous dark sunglasses to feel mysterious, inscrutable. See if others around you notice and wonder "who's behind those dark glasses?" They'll wonder what your secret is to looking so calm and contented while waiting. And you can smile, knowing that the secret to waiting is to not actually wait, while you're waiting!

Squeamish!

Other than running about 10 mins late in my morning routine to head out the door to work--- some days a gal just doesn't want to get up !-- - my day was running along as normal. I arrived and got busy doing the things I usually do to get my work day set up and started. Puttering along, back and forth as I organized, moved, finalized things to load onto my truck; I dashed back to the desk, intending to check my email and looked down and whoa WTF is that? I shuddered, then shivered as I realized what it was: a scorpion! First time I've seen one since I moved to Arizona. They really are creepy looking creatures. And um, excuse me but no way was I going to try and deal with it. So I wandered around looking for someone who isn't quite so squeamish --- and Angelique came to my rescue. "They don't bother me" she tells me as she walked into my area, armed with a bottle of lotion. (Um, what? A bottle of lotion???)

Sure enough, she walked up to this foot long oversized lethal creature, and pushed aside the keyboard it was attempting to hide under. (ok, so it was probably more like 2inches long) It curled its foot long tail up and over its body, (ok ok, I know, it wasn't really that big!) and in one swift movement, SPLAT, she squirted a blob of lotion on this prehistoric looking thing. And shock registered on my face, because it made that creature virtually helpless to move. She scooped it into a cardboard box with a plastic cup and crushed it before tossing it into the trash.

After thinking about it for an hour, I realized that was a really great way to deal with the critter. And now I wonder if I shouldn't keep a bottle of lotion on hand for that (scorpions are all over here in the desert) -- I wonder if they would work on the sewer roaches we get here as well?? I think I'll give it a shot the next time I encounter one.

Angelique: You're my hero!!!

PS: It took me about an hour before I was brave enough to put on gloves and wipe down the desk top in case IT left anything behind. It took me another hour before I would actually sit down and try to WORK at my desk! Later this afternoon, I swept and swabbed the entire floor in my area. A Gal can never be too careful!! hehehehe

Waiting

Have you ever felt that all you do is spend your time waiting? Most of us know, especially by this age, that waiting is a big part of life. And no matter how impatient we get, how much we whine or moan about it, there's nothing that will change the waiting.

Waiting comes in stages:
Hopeful. Confident. Cheery.
Optimistic. Philosophical. Edgy.
Discouraged. Depressed. Snarly even. (come on, admit, we all get that way!)

After that, there's the other phases of "Hurry up pleeeeease!" ; "I don't want to talk about it." ; and "Don't you dare tell me the Universe knows best!"

No matter what suits are own plans, our dreams, waiting is the one thing we have to do. But it's not a punishment or lousy luck (even though most times it feels that way!) Waiting is when magic happens, that mystical space between the dream and its coming true. For example: When you're planning a wedding, a dream vacation, the waiting can be a blessing. You get to mull over the details, savor the anticipation. Maybe because we know the outcome, know that the dream will come true, the wait seems just a little sweeter.

So how can we make the waiting look like fun? Distractions. Think back when your kids were small, you were waiting in line for something and they got impatient. A good mother knows how to distract her child as they wait. That same principle applies to us. Distract yourself. Get busy. Do the unexpected.

“For a while" is a phrase whose length can't be measured.
At least by the person who's waiting.”
~Haruki Murakami

As for me, I have been waiting. and waiting. and waiting. for something to happen. And while the time spent savoring has been sweet, just how long do I wait? Some who know details say "give it up, move on". But the heart has other ideas. However. I do plan on taking my own advice to make the waiting easier: Distract myself. Get busy. Do the unexpected.

How?
Day 1. Unscheduled walk in the park.
Day 2. The simple pleasure of assembling a puzzle.

(We'll see how the rest of the week goes!)

Spring Forward

How'd I get here? Why did this happen? What's next in my life? So many questions come up when you end up single at this stage in life. It isn't what we were taught growing up. I always imagined by this age, I'd be settled in a good marriage, with time for the two of us now that the kids were all grown up. But that doesn't seem to be my life path.

I waver back and forth at times, as to what my path should be now. Do I seek out men, in order to find someone to share my life? Or do I go on as if there never will be another? I'm not the type to hang out at a bar or other places single men go. And I definitely don't plan on meeting anyone from my work place. So that leaves me with getting on with my life, and the things ~I~ enjoy!

I love to garden in my yard, to putter around with growing my cactus (cacti?) and the different kinds of flowers that bloom here in the desert. This being our spring right now, things are really "hopping" out there! Next year, I intend to try some tomatoes here. A friend at work grows them, and I had a fresh slice of tomato on my sandwich for lunch, and also got a fresh jar of home made salsa.

But with spring comes a little bit of restlessness. But rather than hurry the days along, try taking a moment to enjoy Life's subtle nuances. When's the last time you sat outdoors just to listen to the birds? It's a great time to just stop. and wait. to see what's next in life. Maybe you'll take a moment to "weed" your closet, make a clean sweep, send ghosts packing. Take a deep breath, have a good cry, puddle-jump over problems. Or just stand still, so that you're ready to spring forward to a fresh start!