Purging

A little purging every day. 
That's what I'm striving for this week.

Everyone has "stuff" -- things we don't use, things we thought we liked, things that are worn out -- and yet we still hold on to them.  If we're not using them, why not recycle to someone who can actually use them?

Sure, there are some things we can't part with.  And some things that may become useful in the future.  About six months ago, I got rid of a set of pots and pans.  Why?  Because I don't cook for a family any longer.  When I got the set, I was cooking for a family of 8 (or more! if the neighbor kids stayed for supper!!)   Then it was just me and Brian.  I haven't used those pans since I moved into this house in 2009.  So why was I holding on to them?  I bought a 3 piece set to replace those 15 others, and I'm very happy with them.  (Talk about making room in that one kitchen cupboard!)

Today, I cleaned out a drawer of DVDs.  I own the entire series of Sex and the City, I don't need the others that were a "collection" with a theme.  And old movies that I'll never watch again.  Library donation, I think.  But yes, I did keep some of the ones that I know I will watch over and over again:  Pillow Talk, Father Goose, Ugly Coyote, Shawshank Redemption, Bridges of Madison County ... you get the idea. 

I know that I know that I know that I don't want my daughter to have to go through what we have been through with Brian.  Closing someone's "estate" is painful.  And there's so much *stuff* that ... well, it's hard to know what you'll want to keep and what you'll want to toss.  Pictures and written things are definitely kept.  The rest?  *shrug*  The things I have that are antiques, I'm putting a note on them so my daughter will know to at least try and sell rather than give to Goodwill. 

It's not a fun place in life to be.  But if I can get things down to just necessities ... life should be that much easier.  As long as I resist the urge to buy things I don't need!  (And what woman can do *that*???) hahah

I miss my son every day, and in some ways I'm sad at all the things I had to get rid of, but you can't keep everything; you can't leave his room the way it was so that it becomes a shrine.  He wanted us to be happy, to keep living.  Yes, I kept his guitars hanging on the wall, under one guitar poster.  The rest are gone.  I framed six of the logos from his fav tshirts, and they are hanging on the wall as art.  It looks pretty good, and since there are now other non-Brian photos hanging in there as well, it's not a shrine.  Just a few good memories.

Back to the Gym!

Here it is, Tuesday already.  I made myself a resolution to get back to the gym, but didn't make it on Monday.   I would tell you that work got in the way, but I can admit the truth:  I let work be the excuse and just skipped out!   Yeah, not such a good way to start off... but I felt so guilty about blowing off the gym yesterday, that I made an effort and went today after work.

Because it has been so long since I went, I didn't want to start off with causing myself "morning after" aches and pains, so I kept it to a mile on the elliptical, then did my usual weight machines, keeping the reps to 20 and started off with 5lbs less than I had finished off with back in October, before gall bladder surgery.

And I'm feeling pretty good, so far. Other than being a little more on the hungry side, but that's my own mental issues; I'm sure my body isn't truly hungry as I didn't skip any meals (or snacks) along the way.

And even though its still early in the evening, I feel ready to crawl right into bed!  For some much needed sleep!  lol you and your naughty mind!   *giggles*

Another reason for forcing myself to the gym is to create a habit again.  I allowed it to break, to do things like come home and watch tv until my eyes glazed over.  But that's not good for a person.  That doesn't feed our soul or make us feel good about our self.  We need to do things for us - I need to do things for me - to show a little self love!   And I found this quote as my mantra this week.  As I blog this, I'm also writing it on a post it note to hang on my mirror:

Move that gorgeous body of yours every single day 

and learn to love the skin you’re in. 

You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.

I don't know who said it, but its worth repeating a few times! 

Stats:  14:33mile 258#

Spring Forward

How'd I get here? Why did this happen? What's next in my life? So many questions come up when you end up single at this stage in life. It isn't what we were taught growing up. I always imagined by this age, I'd be settled in a good marriage, with time for the two of us now that the kids were all grown up. But that doesn't seem to be my life path.

I waver back and forth at times, as to what my path should be now. Do I seek out men, in order to find someone to share my life? Or do I go on as if there never will be another? I'm not the type to hang out at a bar or other places single men go. And I definitely don't plan on meeting anyone from my work place. So that leaves me with getting on with my life, and the things ~I~ enjoy!

I love to garden in my yard, to putter around with growing my cactus (cacti?) and the different kinds of flowers that bloom here in the desert. This being our spring right now, things are really "hopping" out there! Next year, I intend to try some tomatoes here. A friend at work grows them, and I had a fresh slice of tomato on my sandwich for lunch, and also got a fresh jar of home made salsa.

But with spring comes a little bit of restlessness. But rather than hurry the days along, try taking a moment to enjoy Life's subtle nuances. When's the last time you sat outdoors just to listen to the birds? It's a great time to just stop. and wait. to see what's next in life. Maybe you'll take a moment to "weed" your closet, make a clean sweep, send ghosts packing. Take a deep breath, have a good cry, puddle-jump over problems. Or just stand still, so that you're ready to spring forward to a fresh start!