So Tired! - DRIFT

Whew!!   I say again, WHEW!  I am glad this day is over!
and yes, I am SO very tired!  It's been a heck of a week in my BigBox store, and I feel as if I've been run ragged.

If you've ever worked retail, you know that the chain of command extends up and beyond the store's manager.  There are some kind of market, district, regional uppers -- every store is unique in what they call those managers, but we all have them.  You also know that if any of the upper echelon says they're coming to visit, to walk your store, what happens?  Everyone gets crazy, trying to do it all to look their best, to clean up messes, to make sure things are in order according to policy.

Well.  I've watched these shenanigans for 12 years now, and sure, we all like to look awesome when the bosses come to visit, but -- and its a HUGE but -  BUT if we're doing our jobs according to policy, there's no need to scramble like this to get ready for a visit.  A store should be upper echelon ready every day --- but not for said upper echelon, but for your most important persons entering the store:  YOUR CUSTOMERS.

It really makes me mad at times that those of us in retail take shortcuts, or are told to take shortcuts, because of some payroll need, or some other department gets behind and our help is needed.  These things happen all the time in retail, but shortcuts are NEVER the answer.  In the end, they bite you in the ass.  Taking shortcuts doesn't make it a better shopping experience for the customer -- and that's who we should be trying to please!

If retail is doing things properly FOR THE CUSTOMER, there is no reason to have everyone jumping through hoops to please upper echelon, it would already be done!

Yes.  This is a rant.  It is against my BigBox store.   We (that's a collective 'we' ) should be ashamed that it took a visit from the upper echelon squad to get the store customer ready.  Shame. Shame. Shame.

For three years now, I've watched this store struggling.  And I've yet to observe and find a place to say "fix this" and things will get better.  The only true thing that comes to mind has been [past management.  We have a new store manager, and he's beginning to put his stamp on the store, but will it be soon enough to fix our issues before we lose more esteem in the eyes of our customers??

I googled and found DRIFT:  Do It Right the First Time -- that's my motto!  But not everyone subscribes to that.  If it costs $1 to prevent a problem, $10 to find it, and $100 or more to fix it, then we are better off spending our time preventing problems.

My friend Helen says:  "I'm too lazy to do something twice!"
And I'm with her!
DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME

I am what I eat

Day one of my Recomitment to ME.  Sugar is the worst craving in the world.  It digs its claws in and doesn't let go.  So how did I make it through my day?  While I went over my caloric intake goal of 1550 cals, (by 400 cals) I didn't indulge in any chocolate, or sweets, or extras while at work.  So that's a HUGE plus for me, I've been struggling with that for a month now.  One of my ways to curb that was Tazo tea (green tea with lemongrass and spearmint).  I just barely sweeten it with agave nectar.  That got me through the morning -- I just need a way to get some made in the afternoon and I'd be great!

When I get on the scale, I'm .. mortified.  Not because of the number as much as last year's 6 month effort is down the tubes, and I'm starting all over again.  Yes.  I know I can do it.  But I struggle with the "is it really worth it" mindset.  Because doing it means I can't have any of my fav foods any longer.  Yes, yes, I know -- people tell me all the time I can have things in moderation.  But do you say that to someone who's an alcoholic?  No.  Because moderation doesn't work.  One little slip and .... it can be a bad thing.

I've done the whole "it's not faaaaaiiiiiirrrrrr" thinking, and yeah, its not, but its up to me to accept that I have limitations, I have metabolism issues, my body doesn't function with calories the same way other bodies do.  So ok, that's the bottom line.  And that's what I'm stuck with.  There are some experts who say that a body's internal mechanism/clock can be reset if you eat certain foods, avoid other foods, and let all the organs that deal with insulin and the other metabolism chemicals get reset back to norms and things will be easier.  But .... if you read anything by one doc, there's another with a completely opposing viewpoint.  So who's to say what's right???

I can only choose what's right for me, and hope that how I'm treating my body is the best for me, for how I feel.  Afterall, I am what I eat.  And lately.... I feel like a huge fluffy glazed yeast doughnut.   Its no fun.  So I have to make efforts in another direction.  I started at 5:15am and walked Sadie around the block.  After I had my lunch, (20 minutes) I slipped into my headphones and made 3 laps around my store (that's just over a mile!) .....

One day down, a lifetime to go :)
I can DO this!

In My Dreams

I watched the Hallmark Sunday night movie and it got me thinking:   

Would you toss coins in a wishing well 

for the chance to dream for seven nights 

of your true love?

The basic plot of the movie was this:  After tossing coins in Haywood Fountain, the two start dreaming about each other. According to fountain mythology, they have exactly seven days to turn their dreams into a reality.

Could finding love be that simple?  

I like believing in things that are a little beyond the norm, what the majority of the people might scoff at.  There's something magical about someone coming to you in a dream, someone who could be the love of your life.  

But then again, Taylor Swift sings:  I'm not a Princess, this ain't a fairy tale.  

Sometimes love is just that simple, like a dream.
And sometimes love is just that difficult, and it's not a fairy tale.


Which one do you prefer?

Instagram anyone??

I recently joined Instagram, because sometimes
a picture paints a thousand words!
(or something to that effect, according to the music of Bread!)
So if you're an Instagram-mer, feel free!

Not Giving Up

Thursday finds me in a lousy morning mood ... I think it's related to not getting enough sleep, being very busy at work and at home - I don't do well with feeling overwhelmed with the same old stuff every day.  But.  Sometimes being in a grumpy mood is just the thing to inspire me to grab my bootstraps and haul my butt up to the task, and get busy, work fast and decisive. So I did that and was out of my mood by mid morning.

I checked my hours for the week so far, and saw that I needed to take a two hour lunch - not my fav thing to do - but I had workout clothes in the car, so I grabbed them and headed on in, did 20 mins of cardio, some floor work stretches, and a few weight machines.  I felt really good after that :D

Talked to my sis today, things aren't going so well for my Dad.  The chemo drugs are taking a toll on his body.  They had to call 911 because he had a nosebleed that wouldn't stop.  They took him to the hospital, and released him 2 hours later.

I did well with the no candy, no sugar pledge I took yesterday -- until I heard from my sis after lunch.  Then I had to hit it hard:  A Reese's Peanut Butter Egg.  *sigh*   But it wasn't a bad day, calorie wise, and I was able to make some time at the gym, so overall, I'm OK with today.

Fessin' Up

Ok, I'm confessin' right here, right now.  I haven't been able to get control of my sugar intake, and its driving me crazy.  The sugar cravings are off the charts.  I just got done logging my foods for the day and realized that I ate 8 Hershey Miniatures for breakfast.   WTH?  That's a really lousy breakfast!   And it just won't do.  It can't.  I have to get back to being in control :/

So here is my pledge to myself:  To resist, for just one day.  Just one.

After that, I can decide if this is for me -- or not.

One day may be all it takes!

I was faithful in taking a walk on my vacation.  Every morning at Mom's, I donned my workout shorts and tank, and headed out into the morning air, just over 50 degrees.  But after walking just a bit, I was warmed up.

So why can't I do that here?

I admit that I take Sadie for a walk every morning ... she loves it, and when I put on shoes, she knows its time to go!  We take a quick spin, its a third of a mile around my block.  Good way to jump start the day.  Of course, once I get to work, its non stop stepping all day long.  (My "barking dogs" are proof of how much time I spend on my feet!)  But I just haven't been able to make it to the gym.  *sigh*

So here's my thought today, my motivation for tomorrow:

Yes .. I am stronger than my excuses! 

Moanin' Monday Blues

One of the hardest things for me to do is take a couple of days off. For the holiday, I flew home to see family.  It doesn't happen often for those of us who work retail, so I was grateful for the chance.  But that means that 50% of what I do at work gets backed up and waits for me.  Most times there aren't too any issues.  Today was not one of those times.

Processing a claim means scanning the barcode, adding the item to a claim, boxing up the items, then finalizing the claim.  My helper got a little confused, and there was a missing claim.  What he remembered doing wasn't what we ended up finding.  We had to downstack a pallet and check every box on it, trying to find the missing items.  Yes, we ended up finding them, but it wasted an hour for each of us.  Being in catchup mode, I truly didn't have time, but I smiled my way through it.

On top of that, a surprise audit by our HazMat inspection company.  Gee will I ever catch a break today???

I am anxious to find time to edit some pix to share.  I took more than I expected to, but not nearly enough either.  But I always feel that way. ~grin~  

Here's one ....  

A simple tree with a path that leads  .... 

...  somewhere  ... 

shall we find out where??  

Hoppy Easter!

Because I'll be traveling on Easter Sunday, we had our celebration on Saturday.  Everyone who is anyone was here with us!  Well.... ok, my siblings, four of my nephews plus my best friend since sixth grade!  We had the traditional ham, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, all the favs, and it was delish!  We had some champagne before dinner, wine with dinner, and after dinner drinks were had by some of them, too :)




The nephews are grown up, big enough to help... those sixteen foot boards we brought home on Thursday, the boys put up on the fence today to make it a little sturdier.  Yes, it worked!  Here's Jake on the ladder, wielding the tools.  My brother David handing up supplies.  I know the folks are really happy to have this little project behind them, and so thankful for the help from their grandson!

Here I am with Melanie.  We've been friends now since we were 12.   If you do Melanie Math, that means 30 years.  hahahah  If you do "real" math, its 43 years! That's a long time, and has generated a lot of great memories!







At the end of the day, she and I took a short little walk to Bowers Park, one of the many places we frequented .... some of it has changed, some of it remains the same.  I'm in awe of the trees that are still standing, they're so big and stately --

and if they could talk???

Ohhh the stories they could tell!!!  

*laughs*

Morning Treks

706 688
Every morning while on vaca, I've been taking a morning trek.  I found a route that was 1.5 miles long, circular, and goes past several places of my childhood, like Cabrillo Junior High.  Ahh such memories of walking there every morning for three years. :)  Friday morning I was held up at a street light (Bowers and Monroe) and while waiting, I stepped up and down on the curb of some guy's lawn.  A woman drove by with a quick toot and a thumbs up --- thanks for that!  Lifted my spirits for sure!

This morning, because I wanted to get in some photo shots for my daily shoot topics, I drove over toward the new 49er stadium.  They're almost done with it, but you can't get anywhere near it in a car for photos, so I had to park a ways away, and hike the overpass for CalTrain.  Photo from the overpass vantage point.  There was a guard posted at the construction entrance, but he was kind enough to let me step into the drive and get a few shots closer up :)  Guess I didn't seem the kind who was there to cause a ruckus of any sort.  *laughs*


Then I circled the long way around (because I wasn't so sure of the backstreets that have changed so much in 20+ years) and got pictures of the Agnew train stop.  It's closed now, but the little building is still there.  Wish the windows hadn't been boarded up -- I wonder if the benches and decor is still inside?

Agnew Station

New Orleans - 2433 MI

San Francisco - 41 MI

A good morning trek,
the hills made it challenging
and I used my creativity!

A Good Friday

With no disrespect for the religious holiday today,
today has been a good Friday. :)

A beautiful sunshiney day, we worked on the backyard for a bit, planted two tomato plants in the backyard.  Of course, there is nothing like a home grown tomato in the middle of a warm summer season!  Can't wait!!!  My folks have always grown tomatoes, and I've done my share of watering, weeding and planting over the years.  Now, 20+ years later, I'm home on planting weekend, and it was fun. :)

We were going to fertilize the lawn, but Dad decided the lawn needed to be mowed.  After getting out the mower, I started back and forth across the lawn, and it took me waaaaay back................

When I was growing up, my Saturday chore was mowing the lawn.  Every week, with a push mower, the front and back lawns were mowed, then hose down the driveway.  Doing this again today was like being 10 years old again.....

When I thought back, I realized I haven't mowed a lawn for over 10 years, having lived in an apartment in Ohio, then moving to Arizona where there aren't lawns!



We zipped over to my sister's apartment for a quick lunch of cheeses, crackers, and grapes.  Fun to see where my sis has been living after selling her home and moving into a new phase of life.  Her best friend from high school was there, always good to see Kristine!   Taking the elevator to her third floor apartment reminded me of when I moved into my own third floor apartment, the family all helping me move out in the midst of a divorce situation.  My brother's flat bed truck from work to come haul the bigger furniture pieces, my dad's truck loaded with the smaller miscellany that comes from having two young kids.  Stuffing things into the elevator, and getting them all into place in an apartment .... Aaaah the memories, 1997 was a good year.  :)

A little grocery shopping, a little rest, then we headed over to Chipotle to try something new for dinner.  For me, its a fav place to eat, I am hooked on their rice with lime.  Rice, chicken, a little sour cream, a little pico, a little cheese, and a sack of chips with guac - to go.  Yummmmm!

With a baseball game to watch tonight, we watch the sun set across the sky from our chairs in the living room.

Today has been a good Friday :)

Running Errands

I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday.. mostly because I forgot.  We got busy! and that felt good!  The folks needed to run some errands, so in the morning, off we went to Orchard Supply Hardware.  This has always  been a good shopping experience, with friendly, helpful staff.   But there was a different atmosphere this time.  They have been rearranging - which is never easy for the older folks because things were always in the same place!  Ah well, we conquered that and found everything on our list.  We went to the checkout line, and oh boy.... 

She started ringing up our purchases and bam, hit total and hadn't rang in all our items!  Ooops, so sorry folks, and she added in out tomato plants.  then BAM! hit total again, even though we wanted one more item.  When we told her about the mulch we wanted, and that there weren't any pull tags on the floor to bring her, she got on the radio ......  Finally, she got  number, punched it in then, BAM, we got a total.   Whew, we were finally done.  

Slide the card, enter the numbers, punch Cash Back.  Our cashier hit the keyboard to finish out the sale, grabbed the receipt and slammed the cash drawer shut.  She stapled the pickup slip to the receipt, only the stapler jammed.  She had to leave the register to find a stapler, and came back and she couldn't finish the transaction because the computer froze and we still needed our cash back.  She called for help.

Help came, and said the computer froze, and pushed restart.

Still froze. 

Push restart.

Still froze. 

Call for help.

Manager arrives, doesn't look overly thrilled, doesn't say anything to us as customers, bangs on the cash drawer a few times, it doesn't pop out.  Pulls the entire unit out, found a loose plug, plugs it back in and the drawer finally releases.  I think it took us 20 minutes to get the $20!!! 

When we got home, we fixed up some quesadillas for lunch, then rested up -- there's another errand to run in the afternoon :)  

Later in the day, we zipped over to Home Depot.  Dad wanted some boards to do some fence repairs  I had no idea he wanted 16 foot long 2x4s!  We found the spot and started rummaging through the boards, making sure they're straight.  We're about halfway into finding what we want and some Asshole comes over, says he only needs one board, and jumps into the midst of our digging for boards and grabs one for himself.  He can obviously see that two women and an older guy using a walker need help.  Does he offer? no.  Does he wait his turn?  no.  As he zips out again he tosses over his shoulder, "You really should ask for help, there are workers all over doing nothing but standing around."   I almost asked him WTF is his problem?  But I held my tongue.  So many Californians are rude like that.   Sheesh. 

So.  We're loaded with boards, and the other things we need, and lucky for us, the cashier brought her little zip gun right over, scanned everything, and while Dad paid, we zipped out the door and waited for my nephew, Anthony, to come over in his truck.  He had no idea Dad wanted such long boards either!!!!  We got them in, and tied them down, but gee, they stuck up over the tailgate by a good five feet!  I told him to drive slow, we'd be right behind him. lol.  

We got all our things home with no mishaps, so that was good :) 

Spaghetti for dinner, then watched the Sharks game -- Good win, Sharks!

Fly Away

A very good day today!!! A little bit of work in the morning then off....... Singing Do you know the way to San Jose?  Or Leavin on a jet plane..... And headed home. My bestest friend from sixth grade picked me up and we hit Pedro's for margaritas and lunch.... Mucho delicious!

We shared, laughed and played as if we had only been together last week, my fun!

Then, home to family, always good to see my parents.  dad is doing well, mom is feeling better after a sore back last week.  Both sis and bro stopped in for a quick hello, too :)

Not a whole lot on the agenda, been playing with dad's iPad and mom's tablet.  Are we geeky or what? Hahahaha

More updates soon, XOX

Totally Tuesday!

Hello to you!  Here is it, Tuesday evening, and I've sat down to jot out a few words into the cosmic unknown reaches through the "intertubes" .... hehehe  It was a good day, and I'm feeling pretty good about things right now.

I was more in control today with my foods that I have been all week. Ohh. yes, its only Tuesday, but for me its been one long continuous week.  Today was day #8 in a row being at work.  SO looking forward to some down time on my 4-1/2 day weekend!

I'm all checked in for my flight, boarding pass printed.  I just need to double check my suitcase, and maybe try on an outfit I'm not sure I should bring.  Is 55 too old to be wearing a skirt that's not maxi length??

Although I didn't make it to the gym -- to much to get ready here at home, I made sure that I was doing some stretches, toe touches and lots of walking around - even during my lunch hour.

Isn't it amazing how little things can make you feel that much better?  Just having a little control has a long reach over other things though out my day - and my stress levels are lower.  Always a good thing!

Time for a slug of water, a check on the vitamins, and then a shower, some cuddle time with my Sadie while we watch The Voice.   Hope everyone has a great Weds!

I ... am an addict

That's right.  I am an addict.  A sugar addict.

For the past couple of months in spite of my good intentions, I have let things get out of control.  My eating habits aren't healthy - I feel like I can't resist anything!  My trips to the gym are few and far between -  I use the excuse that I'm busy, or there's too much work, or my son needs something in the afternoon.

But to be honest, they're all just excuses
for bad behaviour.

Yes.  In my mind, I know all of this, and still I continue to grab whatever's in front of me....  a handful of chips, or maybe some trail mix.  Sometimes before dinner.  Sometimes after dinner.  Sometimes both even!  And frankly, the scale is showing my bad habits to me.  I feel fat, and it makes me sad.  And then I'm sad, so I eat.... what a vicious cycle.

The most depressing part is that all of last year's hard work is gone, and I have to start over again.  But I'm finding it hard to have some true motivation.  Last year, I hired a trainer to help me get past the humps.  This year, no can do, my finances are strapped.

I know one thing, for sure.  I am an addict.  A sugar addict.   A small sampling of sugar and my cravings are through the roof.  I once thought I had enough self control to allow myself to have a small sampling of something sweet to curb the craving and move on.  But now I know that I don't.   After having my doctor tell me that I'd have to repeat a colonoscopy every year, and should follow a high fiber diet doesn't even phase me.  My research has shown me over and over again how carbs turn to sugar and cancers feed on sugar.  Does that stop me from putting things in my mouth that my body can't handle?? Nope!   Shame on me.  :/

So how does one overcome all the circumstances, the excuses and the plain ol' laziness and get back to business at hand?

The easy, trite answer is "one day at a time".  That I know what I've been doing, know that I need to stop and make some real changes, know that I am only hurting myself.  Some days, I don't seem to care about that.

But it's time to make a real change.
Beginning now.
I'll keep you posted :)

I -AM-

It's Sunday, but it doesn't feel like a Sunday.  That's because I worked.  And boy did I work.  There was lots to be done; I ended up working freight to the floor for two hours.  I worked some Home Furnishings items, and it was old school for me.   Back in 2008 when I arrived in The Valley of the Sun, I was in charge of Home Furnishings.  It was fun ..... but it was also hard work.  The store was busy, and I was 'interrupted' over and over again to help customers locate things.  Good old fashioned customer service... :)

While doing my own work, I was listening to Neil Diamond, especially "I Am I Said" .... *sings*  to no one there, and no one heard at all, not even the chair.  And I thought long and hard about it; it lifted me up immensely, and I realized that it wasn't about someone hearing.  Whether they hear or not, the bottom line is "I am".   How we feel about ourselves, and how we view ourselves are what's most important.  How often we try and be something someone else wants us to be - and we need to be ourselves!  

So to celebrate my little moment of revelation, 

when I was outside today, 

I stood on my bricks, 

and jumped off, 

throwing my arms into the air 

with a loud YAAAA HOOOO!  

lol yeah.  silly old lady! 

Happy Birthday Dad!!

When it comes to Fridays .... just my opinion but that's the best day of the week.... anticipating a weekend and all that goes with it.  Like sleeping in!  or reading a good book.  Lounging out at the pool.  Walking the pug.  *sigh*  but for me, its not Friday.  I get the pleasure of working a wonderful weekend at my BigBox store.  But that's all right.  The payoff is a 4.5 day weekend, and I'll get to spend a holiday with my family!

One of the drawbacks of working for any retailer is the fact that they want (and require) employees who are there at key times -- which is when the customers are in the store.  And when do customers normally shop?  After working hours of course!   Lucky for me, I work in the back offices, and its rare that I have to work a weekend, usually only 3 times per year, plus the segment surrounding inventory.  Which is its own nightmare and will be addressed later (ours will be June 18th).

Today is my dad's birthday.  He's 77 years old.  And still kicking.  However, he's got stage IV cancer, and has been on chemo for 10 months (with a few breaks in between during holidays).  As with all medical regimens, its not without consequences.  His feet and fingers become numb, food and drink can only be tolerated at room temperature, and the foods he can and can't eat are limited.
But that doesn't crush his spirit.  He's the kind of man who quietly endures.  He doesn't let on when things are aching or when he's not feeling well.  We give him his space, and he just does what he needs, without a bunch of drama.  In spite of all that he's going through, he pitches in and does his fair share.  The last time I visited him, he didn't shirk away from the need to hoe the patch of dirt they use as their garden.  They grow tomatoes, green beans and zucchini.  There's nothing like home grown veggies -- can't wait for summertime visits.

I love you, Dad!
Can't wait to see you Weds!!

Thursday Musings

I am trying to get back into the swing of blogging.  Not because there are people out there who read, or even car about, what I write.  Moreso, I write because its what I do, who I am, and it feeds my creativity.  Sometimes putting things "down on paper"  (this being the cyber-paper society that we've become).  Besides, typing is much faster than writing in a journal.  (which I've done all my life.... )

Today was a decent day as far as the usual day to day business goes.   I was panicked for a few moments when I checked my email this morning and found a memo from my bank stating giving me a "low balance alert".  I had just checked my balance the night before, and even paid a few more bills because there was an extra dollar or two in there.  So I did what I never do:  logged onto my account from my phone.  but I felt I had to.  If there was $500 last night and today was pay day... why should there be a low balance?  Is there some kind of fraud going on?  With all this "heart bleed" in the news about accounts and passwords being compromised -- my concern for the banking issue was greater than my concern for using my phone to access things.   *huge sigh of relief*  nothing was amiss in my account!

I've been working diligently on my photography using todaysposting.com for topics.  Sometimes its hard enough just to come up with a photo to fit the topic, let alone trying to grow my skills and trying new things.  Its all a learning process, and I really, really enjoy it.

This week, I am working a long stint:  10 days in a row.  My reward?   a five day weekend, gonna go visit my folks.  Lately, my dad has been doing well, but the "big pink elephant" in the room is the question on all our minds:  What happens when his body can't take any more chemo?    :(

In the meantime, I've been writing and sending him little notes a couple times a week.  (At first, I tried every day, but that was way too difficult to do)  Maybe I'll get some of them posted here eventually.  Many of them have to do with specific family memories, but .... I'm the one writing them, and hopefully others will find them entertaining.  Maybe that will be my "summer project" when its too hot to spend much time outside.

That's all for today.  Time to snuggle into bed.... hmmm... maybe not snuggle, its too hot.  Time to sprawl out on the cool spot and try for some zzzz's.

Tomorrow's Friday.... Woooo Hooo *HaPpY  dAnCe*

Hellooooooo

I haven't blogged in a while.  Things have been topsy turvy - not so much in life issues, but just in a personal way.  I haven't had much in the way of 'get up and go' and I've been avoiding the gym. Which means, of course, much to my shame, 20 lbs has come back.  All that hard work last spring *sigh*  has to be done all over again.

Last weekend, I made an effort to get out and do something I enjoy.   I visited the Desert botanical garden ($22 entrance fee) but the money was worth it.  I got to take some awesome pictures, look at some great desert stuff, and in addition, a glass sculptor's exhibit "Chihuly in the Garden".    Amazing stuff was out there, and I'm glad I made the effort.

It also had pay it forward benefits, and I made it to the gym today.  YAY me
and now I know why I haven't blogged in a while... doing it on my netbook kinda sux.
More from the desktop tomorrow!