Family Time

Well, it is 530pm on a Tuesday, and I am in my jammies ..... and I just completed my grocery shopping!  Yes, that's right!  If you live in or around the Chandler, AZ area, a few of the Walmart stores offer grocery shopping on line - it's terrific!!!   I placed the order for pickup on Thurs, because I have a very busy schedule on Weds and wouldn't be able to shop.   After working all day Thurs, all I have to do is drive to the pickup door, and they put my full order in the trunk....  which reminds me, my son needs to get my two rocks from the trunk first!

Yes, I collect rocks.  My aunt knows this and said "Have I got a rock for you!"  and we loaded them in my trunk. hahahaha  

Life is crazy around here with family in for a visit and such.  Busy with lots of things, but nothing in the way of housekeeping gets done -- which is OK.  I will have the weekend to catch up.






Here's my nephew and my mom on top of the world!   A lookout point along Apache Trail, one of my fav places to stop and peek around.











On the same drive, I got my mom and aunt to pose with Elvis in the Elvis chapel -- the one they used in many many westerns was moved to a location in Apache Junction.





     Thank you, thank you verrrry much!

Family Times

What. A. Day !    Family here - my own plus the people who will be a part of it next April as well! Full house, loads of laughs and sharing and good times!!

But as with all busy families and busy schedules, they couldn't stay as long as they would have liked.  Sure appreciate them taking the time to come up here and visit with my mom.  :)   Love you guys!





After, the afternoon looked a little long - and hot - so we waited out the heat, then took off for Hole in the Rock and Riverview Park.  A little taste of AZ for my nephew, who flies home Sunday.   After all that, we decided we needed dinner.  And wanted something he can't get just anywhere .... so we dined "al fresco" on the patio at Dos Gringos.  Delicious mexican food to end the day .... (and a Corona for me!)

Carnival

 Ahh the joys of a carnival.  

They bring back the feelings of childhood:

the smell of popcorn, hot dogs and cotton candy.

The carnies hollering to "Come play a game of chance!"

And finally, there is nothing more fun than a 

good old fashioned ferris wheel ride! 

I was driving home with my nephew and we spotted

a carnival all lit up against the night sky, so on impulse

we turned in and took a walk through, rode a few rides,

and of course, finished up with some cotton candy! 

View from the top of the ferris wheel!

Visualize

Saw this, and thought I'd post here.

It's going to be my mantra for Tuesday.

It will be a test to visualize things and see if it's a better day that way. :)

Hug a Tree

Journaling is  great thing to do to release stress.  It's a good way to force yourself to get your thoughts in order and coherent.   I have mentioned before that I believe I am an empath.  Life has been pulling on me, dragging me lower, and with no real reason why.  I did some reading, joined a newsletter by a doc who knows about these things.  I took his questionnaire and 8 out of the 12 points are things that I do, or have.   But knowing is half the battle, and now I can take some steps.  I think the biggest thing I know that I need to do is to clear off the negative energy that empaths pick up from others.  Earth, and the things of Earth, is the path.  Barefootin' ... oo yeah :)  And huggin' a tree.  lol don't you be laughing -- if hugging a tree makes a person feel better, then where's the harm??

Just having a plan is good.
Execution over the upcoming week will let me know if I'm on the right track.   I'll keep you posted :)

Newssssy

Well here we are at Thursday again.  Once home, I slipped the leash onto Sadie and took her for a walk, because I really need the time on the computer, and she prefers to have my attention in the evenings.   It's getting near Tax Day, and I had to make sure my taxes are all set to file.  There were a few additional things I could add, got that part done, and now, after a night of sleeping on it, I'll file when I get home from work tomorrow.  They're advertising a 21-day turnaround on refunds, so that'll be awesome :)

It's amazing what adds up - a couple hundred here, another few hundred there.  I was surprised at just how much I paid for medical care.  You pay because it's something that's needed.  You don't think about it, because it's spread throughout the year -- and yet when you add it all up, BOOM!  It's a lot of money!   I joked when telling family about how much it cost me.... I was always averaging it at $10k , never dreaming it was close to that.  :(  ugh

Are you the kind who notices things when you're alone in a restaurant?  We have a McDonald's near work, and I'll go there a couple times a week just to escape my BigBox store and the gossip that runs rampant in a social break room situation.  (Ours is worse because not only do people talk loud to be heard over the other people talking loud, they also compete with a TV that's on 24/7 as well.... YICK!)   Anyways, I was having lunch, reading my book when a man and his three kids sat down.  The kids ranged in age from 13 to about 6.  They started in on their meal and I listened - shamelessly - as the man talked loudly about his relationship with what I presumed was an ex-wife, or ex-gf, and what she was doing (cheating) , how she was treating him (spying on him), and how he wasn't the one doing things wrong.   There was a whole repetition of a "he said she said" convo with expletives and everything.  I have to admit, I was shocked.  I was raised where you didn't discuss intimate details of a relationship with young kids.  And if the woman he mentioned was the mother, then he should never speak of her that way to her children.

Two days later, and I'm going to sit down to my meal.  At the next table over, a man with an iced coffee had dumped out a large amount of tobacco.  He was hand rolling his cigarettes, licking the papers ...  OK.  I know I'm from a different generation than the younger crowd, but this guy was probably in my own age group. Would YOU do that in a restaurant???

OK. That's all I got today.
Taxes:  check
Humor:  check
Day of the Week?  Yep Friday tomorrow:  CHECK!

Happy St Patty's Day

I wasn't feeling at the top of my game today - hot, tired, not sleeping well - it must be the shift in the temps we have had lately.  It's about 10 degrees warmer than average; low pressure moved in along with some clouds, which raises the humidity, and it makes it really hard for me to sleep.

With all that, I skipped the gym, had a turkey bacon wrap for supper, then flipped on my old Wii Fit Plus and pulled out the yoga - it felt really good to stretch things out,  Maybe that will fire things up and I will hit the gym tomorrow.   I really need to work on me.

I have issues with my latest phone, took two pictures this evening and they "disappeared".  Makes me upset, so I know that I need to go back to carrying my Canon. :)  

On another note, 33 years ago today, my daughter was born.  She was the light of my life back then, and still is today.  I'm so proud of her accomplishments!   I couldn't ask for a better daughter :) 

Happy St Patty's Day, everyone :)

 

My World (long)

I was reading this morning.  The character speaking is an observant man of few words:

  "The worlds that people build for themselves 

are an open book to their lives-- 

people build what they never had, but always wanted.  

Everyone was the same that way."

Lately, I've been thinking about my own life, and how things are, and how I wished they were different.   They are what they are, I suppose, based on our choices.  But taking that phrase, and coupling it with how I've been feeling, it makes me wonder now about the world that I've built.

I'm nothing like my family.  I'm a loner, but I was that way as a child as well, usually in my room reading, or doing chores that were more single person oriented.  Saturday morning you could almost always find me mowing the lawn, then hosing down the driveway.  I've always liked clean and orderly.  Sometimes I think back -- I was always more about organizing than actually using the stuff I had.

Take Barbie dolls for instance.  My dad built custom boxes to hold our dolls and their clothes.  I was often building furniture and creating houses, then making sure the dolls and their clothes were put back in their respective places -- the old adage, "a place for everything......."  I never was the kind to make up scenarios, to take Barbie and Ken on a "date", to pretend life for them.  I was the background person, making sure the pieces for the "date" were in place, in order for the date to work.

So what does that say about my life now?  I have a house, and it's the way I want it.  Mostly.  *laugh*  because my son lives with me, there are some things that are out of my control.  He runs 80% of the garage; as long as he doesn't interfere with my washer/dryer setup, I'm good.  Well.  I let things slide, because there has to be some give and take.

So what part of the world I built is because of things I didn't have but always wanted??

*ponder*  I'll get back to that later today.

I thought about that all day, and its seems to be elusive, hard to put a finger on the entire thing.  I told you I'm nothing like my family.  They are ... hmmm... people oriented.  Or maybe its the way that they are always doing things, but never stopping a minute to enjoy?  That's not it exactly, either.  I know that growing up I was never really sure about my Dad's job - except the one he had part time, where he brought home pieces and built the insides of airplane altimeters. That one I understood, as I watched him build them, assembling all the small pieces.  But work wasn't something he discussed.  I know my brother's had a couple different jobs, and my sister was a teacher, then school principal, and now works in the District office with the students' curriculum.  I sometimes wonder what, if anything, they know about my own job? or jobs I held in the past?   The one time we all sat down and discussed things in-depth was when we learned Dad had cancer and were going over all the paperworks involved, and we talked about jobs and money.  I think they were shocked at my salary (compared to them, they wondered how I even survived on my salary... little do they know how much I go without just to be able to do special things like travel up there to see them.)

So what does all of that say about the world I have built?   It's just me in my little world.  My work, my photographs, the things I read, are all important to me.  Spending time with people isn't my fav thing to do.  I am uncomfortable around people for a long extended period of time.  When I was in Calif for my Dad's funeral, I was stuck there for 17 days.  After 10 days, I nearly lost it.  I took off on a long walk, and cried the entire time, because I was so frustrated, feeling so crowded.   But at my age, I figure this part of me isn't going to change.  I need alone time in order to make it through the rest of life.   And that's ok with me.




I am not sure that the quote applies to everyone.
I can see it in others,
but I'm not sure I built something
I always wanted -
I think I built something that was very much needed.
For me.

Break the Cycle

Does depression begin when exhaustion sets in?  Or does feel more and more exhausted when one is beginning to feel depressed?   I'm sure there are good arguments for both sides, but the real issue for anyone dealing with that is this:  How to break the cycle??????

I'm sure that some would say breaking the depression cycle would depend on why the person is depressed, or became depressed, in the first place.  Death in the family?  Bad breakup or divorce? Family issues?   While each of these might have its own pathway to recovery, the bottom line is its a pathway.   It's not a staircase where you take step, step, step and reach the top.  It's a process.  And in the meantime, no matter what else is going on, you still keep on living, and finding time inbetween the living moments to deal with the issue.

My father died in December.  I knew for 14 months it was going to happen.  That didn't make it any easier.  And I feel I'm a pretty strong person.  But when you couple other things on top of that, it becomes a heavy burden to carry.  And I'm single.  There's no one to lean on.  Just me.  And, of course, leaving my little tidbits here for you to read helps me at least say the things I'm thinking and feeling.

I live a fairly simple life.  I am like the rest of the bottom percentage of people who live paycheck to paycheck.  There isn't money for extras.  Vacations are a dream, never a reality.  My travel consists of driving to see my daughter once or twice a year, and flying up to see my parents.  And I'm ok with my simple life.  I have started over three times in my life after divorces where I asked for nothing, and just left with my basics.  I'm lucky in that I know how to stretch a dollar and be thrifty; it's how I was able to purchase my small starter house.  So I have no regrets there.

But from time to time, I wonder if it's enough.  Perhaps my mild depression comes from knowing that it's not enough - I need more people in my life.  But I'm torn because people means trusting, and I trusted my entire being with three different men, and  .... I think I'd better stop that train of thought.

I keep telling myself that I'll feel better when I'm not exhausted.  In truth, I'd probably feel a whole lot better if I could just lose 10 lbs.  I thought I was well on my way with this 30 day challenge of 30 minutes of exercise, in combination with my 10k steps a day.  But a simple little cold had its way with me, and there wasn't any extra energies to make that happen this week.  However.  I did make it to the park with Sadie; we had a nice long 40 minute walk, and then it was home made vegetable beef soup for dinner.

Maybe I shouldn't be feeling to bad -- or is it guilt?  (I'm an expert in guilt trips!)
Tonight's goal:  a few good hours of sleep.
Tomorrow's goal:  Go shooting pix somewhere after work.

There.  Two simple goals that I should be able to accomplish with ease.
Anything to break the cycle.

Mondaaaaaay

Day 8 of my 30 day challenge.  The past three days were a struggle.  I admit that Friday and Saturday were tough for me to get my 10k in.  I have been a bit under the weather, emotionally and physically.  There's a bit of a cold fighting to get its hooks in me, and I'm fighting just as hard to knock it out.  Emotionally, because there's a little bit of family turmoil for me.  It'll pass.  So will the cold.

Sunday's walk with Sadie got me my 30 minutes, but not the whole 10k steps.  Today, despite the moments of feeling blase, I hit the gym, and walked the treadmill for 30 mins.  10,482 steps!  So I'm happy with the accomplishment.  I might have done a little better with my speed; didn't quite make two miles in 30, but that's ok.  I'll be on my game tomorrow :)

It's bedtime, and I grabbed a ZzzQuil to help me get some extra sleep, waiting for it to kick in.  I am watching The Voice, because Antiques Roadshow isn't on.  It is PBS pledge week.  Maybe next week, I'm having withdrawals!

Day 5

After 4 days of gym time, and little sleep last night, it turned out to be a short work day so I dashed home for lunch and a long nap, followed up by a bit of reading in the backyard sun in my favorite chair.  Because we all need a break from time to time is what I told myself.    In reality, after the afternoon festivities, I started on my heavy duty house cleaning.  My mom will be here for a visit at the end of the month -- and heaven knows a house needs to be spotless if Mom's coming!   hahaha

Another half day at work, and then its Chandler's Ostrich Festival Parade.  I'm debating heading over to snap a few photos just for fun.  I've prepped my bag for being out and about -- it will all depend on the busy-ness of the morning's work.

Speaking of work, I'm nearly at 14 years with the company.  I hold a position in my BigBox store that could either be 'the bottom of the barrel' or one of considerable responsibility - depending on management's mood.  (snicker)  As usual when there's a shift of control, someone will flex their muscle of importance and switch all the keys.  It's such a hassle because they must have this "tree" of command which determines which level a person is at and what key level they are allowed.  I was assigned my set of keys, and employees all turn their keys in at the end of their shift.  However, in management's idiotic wisdom, they feel that me and the guy who works weekends for me can share a set of keys.  Frankly,  I find the idea kind of icky -- I'm not a germophobic by any means, but I'm not thrilled with the idea that I'm going to carry around a set of keys that this other man has carried around.  Does he wash his hands after using the restroom?   Ok, that's a little disgusting, but a person never knows, right?

We'll see how this goes down tomorrow when he and I are both working -- on opposites sides of the building.   I can see it now, having to call management to open up doors to let vendors in because they're .... short sighted enough to think that only one set of keys for two people who work the same shift will work.    (SMH)

My brain is tired, my body is tired, and I'm ready for bed .... at 6pm.  hahahahaha
I really am getting old

Day 4

It's been 4 days now, and I'm four for four at the gym!  That's a new streak for me, there's always been something important that needs to be done at least one day during the week.  There was today, as well, but I chose not to let it interfere and hit the gym before handling things.

When I got home, I had to make a dozen phone calls; my mother needs to travel back to Minnesota for some family court matters regarding her Dad's trust.  I've always said that people get "funny" when it comes to money - no matter how close you think your family is!  My grandfather owned lots of land, then put it into trust for his five children.  Somewhere along the line, one of the siblings thought that the land should go straight down his own family line ..... well, you can see where that's going.  As it happened, Mom and three siblings didn't get what was willed to them in the trust.  The legalese of it all has been going on for years, and has finally reached the court system.   I still shake my head, because it's only money, you can't take it with you, and why would you do that to your own family????   We'll see what comes of it now, this should be interesting.

Phone calls done, car gassed up and washed, the little things get checked off the TO DO list .....  wonder what's next?   lol   Sometimes it feels as if life is just too much.



Today's bad girl confession:
     McDonald's cheeseburgers

Today's numbers:
     12 minute walk
     33 minutes elliptical
     11,036 steps

all in all, not bad for my "off day"

Day 3 ... Keep Walking!

Sometimes a hard day at work makes a body want to say "let's just go home and chill" .... but I resisted and took myself off to the gym, as per my personal 30-day challenge.  It is my goal every day to a) walk at least 10k steps, and b) to get 30 minutes of exercise.

I can honestly say my hard work is paying off.  It's Weigh-in Weds for me, and I'm at #254.  With the usual swings of water and such that women have, I can say that I'm down 2 lbs, if not more.  The scale isn't rocket science, but if you take it on averages......   that works best for me :)

So today's numbers:
   29 minute walk
   21 minute elliptical
   12,480 steps





In other news, as I walked into the break room this morning I heard this:  "Obama will not last as President - who ever heard of a black man holding down a job for more than four years?"

I'm sure this was just a blurb of something being repeated from the past ....  but it sure made me chuckle!   I know, I know, its stereotyping all the way, along with being politically incorrect, and thankfully no one else was in there to make me feel bad for chuckling......  but I did!

Day 2 of 30

A challenge can be a fun way to get motivated.  If you're like me, you tend to give yourself some kind of "head game" to keep at it - because let's face it, its so easy to change direction once we reach home, or decide we need an extra Starbux latte to get us through our day!   For me, that head game today was telling myself that I can't start cooking dinner until I reach my 10k steps.   Sadie, of course, was thrilled with that, as it meant a long evening walk!

We have lots of clouds, and a few sprinkles.  I'm sure places within The Valley will get some rain; I think we had our share yesterday.

So, even though I wasn't enthusiastic about going to the gym, I went anyway!  And yes, I was tired, but I also know that I need to keep it up, to build up to longer sessions, or some High Intensity spurts -just getting thru my 30 day challenge is enough of a goal for now!




Today's numbers:
     31 minutes of walking
     33 minutes of elliptical
     10,848 steps

]

Get out there.....

you can do this!               

30 Day Challenge

OK. so I started a 30 day challenge today.  The challenge is to walk 30+ minutes a day.  Now I've been wearing a step tracker for several months now, and regularly get 10k+ steps a day.  The problem is they're not strung together, because the best "bang for your buck" when it comes to walking is to do it non-stop for at least 10 minutes.  My goal is 30 minutes a day.  Every day.

After I had lunch, I thought "why not give it a try by walking my BigBox store?"  Well.  Two problems arose.  Shoppers thought I was an employee, and on the clock.  Since I wasn't, I didn't want to interrupt  my exercise time for work time.  I can see how this isn't going to work out as a normal plan.  Too many customers want some assistance ......   So I suppose if I want to get in some lunch time walks, I'll have to head over to the gym's treadmill.  So much for best laid plans.

After work, it was off to the gym where I got 22 minutes on the elliptical, then did some stretching.  I was going to do some weight resistance, but after my fall last week, I didn't want to push my already sore spots to the limit on the first day.

Today's total:
  12 minute walk
  22 minute walk
  22 minutes elliptical
for a grand total of 11,184 steps.

An OK start to this 30 day challenge!

Ramblin'

Here it is, Sunday evening, and I'm so tiiiiired.  I worked 7 days in a row - a total of 46 hours, so maybe I didn't work TOO hard, but just having to get up that early every day can make a body weary!  Although, I have to admit, I get up every day as it is because of my pug, Sadie.  haha lucky me.

My desk is covered with crap, mostly papers, all stuff that needs to be dealt with.  Where do you store all the stuff that goes along with filing taxes?  It seems every year its more and more.  I'm always thankful when taxes are filed, and its all over with, things finally getting filed away.

I saw where Google's blogger system was planning on shutting down those blogs who have an "adult only content" and then pulled back and said they changed their mind.  I realize that some people have issues with erotica on the internet, but its easy enough to avoid if you're careful what you peruse :) How are free speech and the internet related or inter-woven?  Seems as if you should be able to speak you mind - whether with words or with photos.  And if the websites give a warning about adult content before showing you a page ......   eh, I could debate that issue for a long time.  There are sites who allow it, and sites who don't.   Be careful where you travel on the internet!

I'e had to shut off my new tablet.  For some strange reason, it has used 90% of my 1Gig allowance in just 3 days.  WTF is that all about?  It's not like I use it for anything much unless I'm in a hurry and don't care to turn on the desktop.  Which makes one also wonder:  why have it?????   My totals reset on the 7th .... so Friday night, at midnight, I just might be .... naw, I won't.  lol  I'm not that addicted to the internet -- any more.   lol

When I'm tired, I'm cold.  I have also discovered that I'm a procrastinator:  Why do it today, when tomorrow would work just fine??  hahahaha  Maybe that comes from having too much "stuff" -- if there weren't enough dishes to eat on, would I be more proactive to cleaning up the kitchen faster??  I know it works with laundry:  If you have no more clean underwear in the drawer -- you're doing laundry before anything else!

.... and I see I'm rambling.... goodnight!