Validation

Validation.  When you look up the word, the most common definitions are related to work principals, or the 'checking of accuracy' of something.  But it can be applied to us humans as well.  We all need validation from time to time, the need to feel that what we're doing is the right thing to do in someone else's eyes.  Growing up, I looked to my Dad for validation.  I didn't have to seek his acceptance, I was his daughter, acceptance was a given.  But it wasn't validation about my feelings or opinions that counted.  It was more related to my actions.  Because I'm just a female version of my Dad:  always doing, rarely saying.   My Dad was a man of few words.  Yet you knew where you stood with him by his actions.

In a brief conversation with my friend John, we talked about validation and how he feels I'm a likable person.  To me, I'm not concerned with whether people like me.  They do or they don't and that can't affect who I am as a person, or how I feel about myself.  It's like I've finally come into my own when it comes to validation of my self.   He always asks about my finding or having a man in my life, and these days, it's not about a man.  I can do it all, I don't need a man in my life to validate me, to make me feel like a whole person.

I probably spend more time alone than I should, and maybe I *do* need a man in my life, but it sure would have to be an extra special type.  One who accepts all my foibles and weirdness, strange ideas and odd ideals.  One who can put up with the person I've become, and the person I've always been.  A do-er rather than a talker.  Yes, I know, odd for a woman.  However, with the RIGHT person, I can talk and talk. lol.  That just makes the whole package even harder to find!  And let's face it, after three divorces, there's no way I'm wanting to do anything that's remotely like starting over again!

So that means a quiet life of solitude.  I'm alone, but not lonely.  The things I do, the things I contemplate, the simple routines that I've embraced in my life suit me just fine.

To be honest, there are nights when the dreams come, vivid dreams of things from the past, people from the past, and I'm never sure of what they're trying to tell me.  (three nights ago, I dreamed an old friend of the family was passing out Black Cherry Cordial See's Candy chocolates to all of us....)  I'm sure that dreams are a part of how we deal and process things that have happened to us.  And my brain is almost always in fully engaged mode.  One way to purge it is using this blog as my personal journal, where anything goes.  And yes, it helps :)

If the right man is out there for me,
and we happen to cross paths .....
don't pass me by, give me a second look.
Cuz, baby, I'm worth it!