Sixth Sense

Women have a sixth sense.  And those who learn to listen to it can find it to be a big help.  But women also have a different type of sixth sense that's related to their spouse.   And it can be quite strong.  When a woman senses something regarding her spouse, she becomes "on guard" for every nuance, every change.  And believe me, its easy to see them.

My ex all of a sudden started getting up 30 minutes earlier every day.  He was also using a new brand of toothpaste and rinsing with mouthwash every morning.   He bought new underwear.
He bought a cell phone.    and my sixth sense went into overdrive.  As much as I didn't want to believe it, the signs were very easy to read.

Its very simple with the advent of the internet and all its "ins and outs" to log on to accounts to track purchases, phone records, credit cards data, even following a person's facebook page can tell you a lot about things going on in your spouse's life. I'd bet you can even track a phone's GPS if you got all into whatever makes that run.  And with very little computer know-how, you can check their websites, where they go, pages they read on a regular basis.

Why am I thinking about this now?
I don't need to .... no more spouse in this Gal's life.
What I do is my own business, my own decisions.

But I believe there is someone reading my blog who is in the same place where once was:  on guard for every nuance, every change.   And if that's true, then I'd like to point out some obvious questions that I ended up asking myself:  Am I happy with my spouse?  Is the relationship worth this type of thing?  If I have all these suspicions now, what does the future hold?  Do I want a future with someone who behaves this way?  My answers to all of them was a big resounding NO. 

The biggest lesson in it all was learning that you can't hold on so tight that you smother the other person -- checking and wanting to know where someone is every minute of the day limits your own life and in my opinion reduces your own self respect.   I don't think you can continue to hold on tighter and tighter and still maintain respect for yourself, and for your spouse.

After I figured that out, it was easy to stop checking, to stop wondering, to stop worrying.  When you get to the point where it doesn't matter any longer, you stop the worrying, the fighting, the arguments and start living for yourself again.  When that happens, your self respect begins to grow, and you start choosing things for you again.

That's when your sixth sense pays off ---
it begins to pay attention to you and your needs. 
If you aren't happy with yourself,
no one else can be happy with you either.