Hell Week

Thank goodness Hell Week is over for another year.
It was a very busy stressful time, and like every year, am SO thankful when it is done.

That doesn't mean the "hellish" part is completely finished.  There are still 24 days to go in this quest for gift buying, food preparing season, and there will be hellish days.  But none so trying as the whole Brown Thursday Black Friday events.  *whew*

But I wore my tracker faithfully every single day,
and reached a notable 61,544 steps from Monday to Friday!

You'd think with all that walking and such the weight would have melted off, but nooooo, that never happens.  Partly because of the stress, I'm sure.  Cortisol builds up when we're stressed and hangs on to whatever we have, just in case it will be needed in some other mode.  Our bodies are quite wonderful that way, but our lifestyle doesn't fit with the way our bodies work.  Which could explain the obesity rates in our country.  Changes need to be made!

And I am hoping to gear up and begin my own changes this week.  Yeah, yeah, I know, I've said it before, and will say it again, I'm sure!  But every journey has to begin somewhere.  So I will go back to the way I was thinking 18 months ago.... damn has it been that long?  Have I been slacking off for that much time??  And in all honesty, I have to admit that yes, indeed, I have let things go.

I'm going to start simple.  My only goal this week is to eat sensibly, and lose 2 lbs.  I can't give myself the total weird diet strategies such as "only 900 calories today" or "90 minutes of cardio today"  or the worst "only vegetables today".  That just doesn't work for me.  I have to be logical.  When I gave up smoking 28 years ago, I could quit cold turkey and it wasn't so hard because I didn't have cigarettes around.  But it doesn't work that way with food.  We all have to eat.  And eating junk food is much cheaper than eating foods that are good for you.  With the cooler temps here, a bowl of soup tastes delish, and its easy to drop in a few extra vegetables to get your daily quota!

Because of my work hours, today I am cooking a 12lb turkey.  There will be plenty of leftovers for soups, I'm sure!  Turkey Rice soup.  Tortellini Turkey soup.  The combinations are endless.  Now to just get some veggies in the fridge and get started!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone :)

Happy Thanksgiving

  

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!
Take time to think about the people
in your life, the things in your life,
and the joys in your life....
and be thankful for them all!

xox

Dirt

The holiday season makes me overly emotional, I'm not sure why.  But I do know that a big part of it comes from too much stress and not enough sleep.  Yes... Big Box stores are open Thanksgiving, and yes, I'll be working my normal schedule.  So much for a holiday to spend with family.  Maybe that's a part of the emotions running higher than normal as well.

Today, the song "Dirt" by Florida Georgia Line has caused some tears.

"You know you came from it, and someday you'll return to it."

We all feel our mortality from time to time.  Sometimes more often than others.  None of us knows the number of our days on Earth.  But they're not infinite.  Think back to when you were in your 20s .... the thought didn't cross our minds very often back then.  But now, at 55, I think of it more than before. Sometimes it scares me that I'm thinking of it.... is it the Universe trying to tell me something I should be knowing?  Telling me so that I'm doing what needs to be done before my time is up?

I still think I have 20 years here on Earth, but ... what will I accomplish in that time?  What things need to be done, to be said, to be thought about, before that time comes?   Like a good Boy Scout, I want to be prepared!

"Makes you wanna build a 10-percent down
white picket fence on this dirt."

You mix some sweat with it,
... dirt ...
you know you came from it,
... dirt ...
and someday you'll return to it.
... dirt ...

Keep Positive

It doesn’t matter whom you love or where you move from or to,

you always take yourself with you. 

If you don’t know who you are, 

or if you’ve forgotten or misplaced her, 

then you’ll always feel as if you don’t belong. 

Anywhere."

― Sarah Ban Breathnach

More thoughts, more focus on loving yourself tonight, after what felt like a very, very long week.  Sometimes things around us dictate how life is going to move along, but we don't have to let it dictate how we react, how it makes us feel, and even more so, how it makes us feel about our own self.  

When I have moments where I need a focus, need a boost in the self department, Sarah Ban Breathnach is where I turn.  She has some great insights when it comes to learning to love and appreciate who we are as women, who we want to be, and what we need in order to make it happen. 

This quote resonates with me.  No matter what we do, where we go, our self always goes with us.  Why we allow outside forces to make us feel less than worthy is a mystery to me, but its how it goes for women.  How do we combat this?  By taking time for our self, treating our self well, and stopping the negative thoughts that churn through our thoughts more often than not. 

My goal:  to keep a positive thought every day!

Love Thy Self

First, figure out what makes you feel good. It doesn’t matter what it is, but become aware of how you feel when you do things. Do you feel exhausted at work, but exhilarated when you’re in the garden? Do you feel joyful reading to your children? Fulfilled when you are writing poetry or volunteering? Find out what makes you feel good and do it, as often as you can. Feeling good is all the permission you need to do what you love to do.



My focus this next week is going to be on learning to love yourself.  How often do we as women take everyone else's needs first, and let our own self have the leftovers -- which we all know there is very little of by day's end !!

It's important to know what feeds your soul, what brings you joy and recharges you.  And once you know what that is, its time to do something about it.  Let your family, your priorities take a second seat, to carve out even just 10 minutes for yourself.   A lot of good comes from even just a little bit of time.  And we're all worth it.

Who Cares Rant

I am an XP die-hard and mine finally quit.  What I soon discovered with Win7 is that my old programs are not compatible, and I need to purchase more software.  I was disappointed on my trip in to Fry's Electronics.  Photo editing software and goodies are pretty much non-existent - same goes with my local Big Box Store.  Does everyone buy their software online now??  Ugh.

My rant has to do with my own Big Box store.  I approached an electronics employee and mentioned that on our employee sale day, I wanted to purchase $99 worth of software, but the shelf was empty of this particular item.  After scanning the barcode, it showed 5 in store, but ... where are they?  When I asked, the response was "you know how it is in the backroom...."  I was totally bummed.  Sure, I know there are issues, and sure, I know that working in a high volume dept has its challenges, but I am still a customer and that's ... no way to earn sales!   Really bummed me out that attitudes have degraded to the point of a shoulder shrug, an "oh well" attitude.  
Has the Big Box mentality taken away our reason to do our best any more???  
For me, that's a sad issue, because we should all care.

End of rant.

Computer UPDATE

What a weekend.  My main purpose was finding an IDE to USB cable in order to check the hard drive of my old computer.  Only way to get something so specialized is to head to the local Fry's Electronics store. Tthis one isn't so local to my location, 20 miles out on the freeway and back.  Been a while since I've been in one - they are HUGE!  At first I was wandering and feeling lost, but eventually found my way to the computer cables and asked for help.  Got my product and headed out the door.  Now, it's been years since I had to do actual finagling on a computer innards, but I was excited - I hated being without the photos I hadn't backed up yet, since October wasn't officially over.  No excuse for September, other than procrastination.

I got home and attempted to make all the plugs fit.  Much to my dismay, I had the wrong set.  And I wasn't feeling up to driving back, so I did other chores and things around the house.  But inside I was restless and fuming because I hadn't been smart enough to bring along the old hard drive... but enough procrastinating.  After supper, I headed out again to return the wrong cable and attempt to get the correct cable.  A really nice guy named Mario helped me out :)  I was feeling much more optimistic about this as I drove home.   Open the box, get it all connected and bummers.  Nothing.  A little research on Google always helps, and I noodled and reconfigured the jumper on the pins -- yes, my hard drive was that old!  hehehe  The next time I plugged in power, the hard drive whirred to life in my hand and it was an A-HA moment!  But still no recognition on the new computer to read this hard drive.

Back and forth with ideas and web pages, more swearing and then the moment when I was ready to give up, and maybe wait for a clear head in the morning when a friend said "hey, turn the drive on its side, let gravity put things back in place....."  and when I did that, turned it on, my new computer went haywire and pulled up all the drives.  I clicked and was in AWE as I saw my old menus.

Happily I started clicking and dragging the old to the new.  There were over 500 pix I hadn't backed up, and it took 30 mins to get all my music moved to the new!   With the rest of the data transferred, I started looking at the programs.  And was feeling all too bummed out, because 99% of them won't run on Win7 and I was so happy with the old programs I had.  Nero and Photoshop being the two programs I used the most, I tried using the Windows version:  Movie Maker.  and while it might suffice in a pinch, and may have to for a little while, I do not like how the options are all or nothing.  Nero let me choose individual times for photos, and Movie Maker has this thing about panning across the photos that I don't like.  I don't really want my pix as a movie, I like them as slides.   And the limitations on photo editing with Windows is ... horrendous.  The only thing I"ll use it for is cropping, but the rest of the options aren't worth the time to learn.


So.  Here it is, Sunday morning.  And I have a new computer filled with old data, and I'm SO happy about it.  All there is now is to get the software I want and need, and my world will feel right again.  With one exception:  A jealous SADIE pug who wants my attention, not give attention to my computer.  LOL

One Scary Moment!

You never really know who your neighbors are.  Tonight was a great example of that.

Every night, I walk Sadie in our little neighborhood.  We do a "figure 8" around our block and the next block over.  Our path takes us past the community swimming pool, and that particular area doesn't often have cars parked in front of it at 7pm.  Tonight it had a dark SUV parked facing the wrong way.  There were several other dark SUVs parked along the street and one of them was idling and beginning to pull away when we came walking past.  The driver put the vehicle back in park, and turned off the headlights.   Me being .... well, me.... I just thought to myself that  someone was having a party, or maybe a book club meeting.... some simple answer for all the strange cars in the neighborhood.

I kept on my merry way, walking along with Sadie, minding my own business.  I passed one, two, three houses, and was holding Sadie's leash tight as a flurry of headlights shown from behind, and two cars pulled out from in front of us.  "How odd..."  I thought to myself.  We rarely see traffic when we take our walk!!  and in the next 15 seconds...  BAM!  I heard this and then felt the percussion against my back, and said "HOLY FUCK! What was that?"  For some reason, I stopped then crossed the street because I heard birds overhead fussing in the trees:  they didn't seem to like this either!   I looked back and there were cars pulled up surrounding the driveway of a house, all undercover vehicles.  The same vehicles I had seen parked around the last corner, obviously.   Sadie and I watched for a bit, men running, more lights coming on, neighbors coming outside.  I approached one couple who were outside, we speculated on the flash grenade that was assumingly tossed into a house.  We could hear officers on a PA system asking someone to come out of the house.  Men were half crouched behind vehicle doors -- how surreal this looked, like watching live tv! -- and then a light pop, pop sound.  Me and the neighbors looked at each other, and immediately thought gun fire.  It was softer than I expected.  Perhaps it was something else, pellet gun?  paintball gun?  More men talking on the PA, and then 7 or 8 quick pop, pops in a row.  The neighbors decided to beat-feet it back indoors, and Sadie and I turned and headed in the opposite direction.

When we reached the corner, another neighbor was standing there watching from a distance, and we exchanged words for a bit.  Sadie and I circled back on a part of our usual walk route and headed home.

It just goes to show, you never really know your neighbors, do you?

Snowbirds, Computers, Rants

Ok.... it was a pet-peeve kind of day, and there's plenty to say!

First- to the snowbirds who are here for the winter. I appreciate your being here, and spending some of your money into our communities, but please!  If you aren't familiar with the roads and how the lights work here in the Valley of the Sun, then get off the roads between 3-6pm!  

I sat at a green light in a left turn lane 3 cars back.  The driver up front didn't seem to know that a left turn could be made on a normal green light, if it's safe to proceed.  It sat thru an entire light, waiting for that left arrow -- which, depending on traffic patterns may never happen!  Nothing more frustrating than to miss a light on your way home from a long, hard day at work.



Speaking of work *grumble*grumble*  it was one of 'those' kind of days.  Nothing went right, it was an uphill battle all day long.  And when I got it in high gear and started getting things accomplished our Regional Compliance Officer was in the building, and all over her high horse because something wasn't quite right.  She said I needed to look up the SOP's for three things, and have management sign off once I completed all the tasks, including making my area look "JLP" -- just like the picture.  So now, there is 4 feet of wasted space when it could be put to good use for something else!   yep... *grumble*grumble*grumble*



And dreams... oh my was I having a long doozy of a dream!   Hiking, drive in's, old fashioned hamburger joint, and a sensual rendezvous with an old friend named Gil.  Wowsa :)  Nothing like waking up with a big ol' grin. hahahha  Made for a "happy hump day" indeed!

Take Action!

  Total lifetime Miles!!! 

I reached a major goal today!  and I feel awesome :)

After a month away from the gym, and 3 weeks post-op, I popped into the gym for a workout.  A mile on the elliptical, then a lot of weight machines for arms workout.  I didn't dare go for any crunches or ab work - things are still a little tender.   I stayed within 100 calories of my daily goal of 1500.  Shouldn't have had one of those darn mini chocolates leftover from Halloween!  But tomorrow is another day!

49ers!

Watching #7 Colin Kaepernick do his stuff

as they play New Orleans!

let's go boys!

Life 101

Sometimes there are things that we must do because there's no other choice.   I'm at that point and its not always easy.   And maybe it's not something you can relate to until you've walked in my shoes.  I'm talking about relationships, of course.  They're not always easy.   But a part of the trouble with relationships is deciphering when they're a good part of your life, and when you need to walk away.

I've spoken about this in the past. 

Its time for me to actually live life

rather than just talking with someone

and a future that will never happen.

Is it easy?  Heck no.

But is everything in life easy?  Heck no.

Sometimes the hardest things

are the same things that teach us the best lessons.

Whirrrlwind

Have you ever felt as if the world is spinning, 

things are out of control, 

and you're being sucked into the whirlwind?

That's about how this week has been for me.
So much going on,
trying to get caught up at work.
trying to get rested up each evening after work.
trying to do the little things
trying to keep up with the folks long distance
and lastly, trying to keep my sanity in this balancing act.

Sometimes life just happens this way.

but "this too shall pass"  :)
Happy weekend!

Short n Sweet

Tuesday.  My second full day at work.  and I'm tired!   I was exhausted yesterday, crawled into bed at 5:30pm. lol   today, I waited until 6:30.  hahaha  

Work wasn't near as bad as I imagined, but ... I'm still not caught up either.  It'll take another few days to get it under control.

Looks like my computer will arrive the 12th.  Ugh, that's another week!  I was hoping for Friday, then I could get some stuff done over the weekend!  But that's not in the plan.

Yep, this is short and sweet.
Rehashing everything is too much effort.
Time to watch some The Voice.
I missed it Monday because I was watching Dancing with the Stars.  lol

Happy Toes-day y'all :)

Stressed

in case you didn't know... stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
and i had a bit of a hershey bar after dinner, even though it doesn't agree with me.
My father is done with chemo treatments, and his doctor has put him in touch with Hospice.  Nice group of people, they've been in touch with him already and are doing what needs doing to make him 'comfortable'.   That's how it stands for now.

My desktop is ... toast.   and I'm bummed.  I've had it for 8+ years and was set up just perfectly.  I've been tinkering, trying to get it to come up one last time so i can retrieve some data from it.  So far, no luck, but I'm not out of ideas yet!

I return back to work after being off for 18 days.  I am a bit fearful at what I will find, and I'm a bit more upset about my situation.  Being all my doctoring was done in Calif, I'm dependent on being able to get things done via phone or fax.  But the dr Office hasn't yet sent in my return to work forms.  So it may be that when I go in, I cannot work.   *sigh*  and with the time difference, I cannot call them until 9:30 my time, and I start work at 6am.  GRrrrrrrr.

Ok, now that I've put all the bad stuff out there, written it down, gotten it off my chest, it should help me sleep.  I also forced myself to NOT take a nap all day so that I would be tired.  I got laundry done, bedsheets washed, groceries shopped for.  All in all, a productive day!

In the words of a great country song:
Ready  --
Set  --
Let's Roll !

One Direction

Have you ever had yourself a really fun dream??? Most often, dreams are something we can't or don't understand, and for me, there's an element of fear, danger ... something I'm worried about.  Well, last night I had a really fun dream.   If you have daughters, or are around pre-teen girls, you know who One Direction is ... a boy band, young, cute .......

I'm in a town in the mountains, its rustic, laid back, a fun place to be.  Tall redwood trees, they always smell so good and refreshing.  I'm in my car, circling through town. They had made a change to the road, you didn't have to stop at the little house for pedestrians any longer.  So I drove up and turned right toward the amphitheater, there was going to be a concert tonight.  Mind you, this is a little theater, room enough for the band and maybe 40 guests in the audience.  We sat in folding chairs, I didn't recognize any of the other guests except Margarita.  There were about 15 boys in this band; they stood on risers to sing (you know the kind they have for school choirs).  While they sang, I commented to Margarita how cute these guys are, and she said "if only they were 10 years older".  And in the way of dreams... they were!

Of course, as they sang I was moving around, snapping a few photos, thinking my granddaughter would never believe I was here with them!  After they sang, they mingled with us and talked.  Most of them were in their mid 30s (miraculously I was still only 55 hahah)  We were having a really good time, laughing, dancing, exchanging selfies, more dancing.  I really liked one (or two!) and we sat down to talk, share a soda.  He talked about what its like to perform songs they've been doing for a few years, but he never tires of it. He likes bringing joy to people with his music.  One of the boys asked what my fav song of theirs was.  I told them how I remembered their first song, before anyone had ever heard of them called "Blood".  (I don't know where that came from, its not a song of theirs)

He asked about my photography and I explained that it was a hobby of mine that I really enjoyed.  I found he was a down to earth regular kind of guy, not all stuck on himself like some who become celebrities.  He took my hand and we walked around the building and looked up at the stars through the trees, commenting on how nice it is to be out of big cities and back to nature.  Hearing music start up again, we went back into the building and joined the rest of the band for more dancing.   They loaded on the buses about an hour later, heading to their next town, the next performance.  But not before he and I exchanged phone numbers.  :)


This is One Direction today... imagine how they'll look in their 30s.  hehehheeh




After dream notes:
nice that boys can become men, gaining another 10-15 years in a dream while I didn't age at all!

I woke up smiling, feeling happy, nothing like a good dream to put you in a good mood :)

I think the only song of theirs that I know is "Story of My Life" .... but I didn't hear that in my dream.



Dreams have a funny way of making us
see things
feel things
imagine things
and yet after the dream,
even if we know it isn't real
it sticks with us.
Happy Saturday, everyone!