Brian's Stuff

The things left behind when someone dies can be a great comfort to those who were left behind.

I know my mom has some of her mother's things, and they will be passed to me and my sister, and then in my own case, on to my daughter and granddaughter. 

The things left behind by Brian are a huge comfort to me.  But what will happen later on when I'm gone?  Maybe my daughter will want some of it, but Brian had no children to pass these things to.  His memory will be ... well, the memory only lasts as long as the people who remember you.

I think this is my biggest fear - if that's the right word - that no one will remember my son. I know they won't remember him as well as I do.  He lived with me 30 of his 33 years.  We were close the last 10 of those years.

When I look at the wall I created with his Tshirts and things .... sitting in there, I contemplate all the things we did together, all the things that we dreamed of doing, things that created his history.  While I was his mother, mom and Ma, he was my handyman, Mr Fixit and general helper when something needed to be done.  

Some days, a song or a thought, a TV show or driving past something can bring tears to my eyes, and I start missing him all over. 

My son Brian, Forever Missed.