Mondays

I set a goal for myself back in March (when I got back into the swing of things at the gym) that I wanted to reach 384 miles -- and my reward would be a trip to the beach.   After today, my total is 349 miles...  in 8 months of work.  None of these miles were counted by steps at work, or zipping the dog around the block in the morning to do her morning business.  It was time at the gym, or weekend intentional walks of a mile.  That averages out to 43.5 miles a month... and I'm pretty happy about this!

Otherwise, it was a typical manic Monday:  Managers at work are doing things, making changes, updating routines --- sadly, they're forgetting to tell the people who actually DO them.  lol  stupidity at its finest, IMO.  How hard can it be to communicate? 

Which leads me to my next GRRRR of the day: 
10 minutes before I'm ready to leave, and a manager tells me:
there's a HazMat compliance walk by our Regional person tomorrow; they're cleaning out some of the broken bags in Lawn & Garden and do I want the products now? 
Um, excuse me, no thank you, I'm leaving in 10 minutes.  How many bags are we talking about ? 
Ohhh, 15 or so.  
Gee, so I get to walk into that mess in the morning then ??  

Yippee skippy,

It's gonna be a really great day.  Lovely, just lovely. 
Guess I'm gonna be going in at 5 instead of 6 -- but this time I won't stay late.  Come 2pm and I'm gone! I was telling a friend about this, and she said "I"d stay late if it meant more money".  Yeah, me too.  But extra time accumulated early in the week means I have to take long lunches.  What do you DO with a 3 hour lunch???  UGH.   It used to be if we stayed extra for them, they'd allow us to leave early on our Friday.  So that made a weekend feel just a bit longer.  The way management has it set up now, there's no give and take, no reason for me to do them a favor, they don't grant it back.  Sadly, this BigBox store will lose sales and key opportunities because they make a rule and never bend. For anyone. 

Ok.... I had dinner, walked the dog, time for a shower and some Antiques Roadshow.  Or The Voice.  :)
Both if I can stay awake long enough to switch back and forth. haha

One of those days

Everybody has "one of those days" every now and then......
Yeah, you know the kind I'm talking about! 

I think I jinxed my day by pushing the snooze button, something I rarely do.  But this morning I was extra tired.  Sadie had a 'honking' session last night.  Pugs with their pushed up noses don't have a long enough snout and sometimes something gets in there wrong.... sort of like when we swallow wrong and a little of our drink goes down the esophagus --- when she drools a lot in her sleep, if she doesn't swallow, it pools up in her throat, and then she has to hack it up -- I call it honking.  It doesn't last long, maybe 10 mins in all, but its enough to break up a sleep pattern.  So I pushed the snooze button this morning. 

I can't even remember now if her and I made it all the way around the block this morning -- but  I think so.  Work was much busier than a typical Thursday - and that's usually my day for catching up on the last minute things.  But all day long, it seemed as if things didn't stop coming back to claims to be processed.

The good note of the day was I got in a workout on my lunch hours - yes, hours.  I had to take a 2 hour lunch today, so having the gym next door really helps!!

Brian worked til 5:15 -- or supposedly.  I arrived to pick him up at 5:30 and he was still working.  Finally by 6 he was ready to leave.  Usually its not a problem, I know how retail is, you never leave exactly on time.  But its Thursday - our library and Taco Bell night.   We headed straight for the library only to discover that one of the discs for Pawn Stars was missing (oops, my fault).  But 4 of Brian's movies weren't turned in either.  Another Ooops.  They couldn't be renewed because there was a charge on the account for the missing DVD.   siiiiigh

By now its 6:30pm and no way can I do Taco Bell.  I have to get those DVDs back to the library before they charge me $2/day/DVD.   I'm beginning to think that my time with weekly visits to the library is coming to an end.  Over the summer, with the trips I took home, and other issues, I ended up paying close to $100 total in fines.  With the holidays coming up, and Brian's work schedule that rotates, its too hard to make a library night right now. 

So after a quick shower and then grabbing things to be ready for morning, here I sit, venting a little bit to get this day off my thoughts .... and that will help me sleep.

Yep  Everyone has "one of those days" every now and then.
Today was my turn.
*sigh*

Surfin'

"Said goodbye, turned around
And you were gone, gone, gone
Faded into the setting sun,
Slipped away
But I won’t cry
Cause I know I’ll never be lonely
For you are the stars to me,
You are the light I follow

I will see you again, whoa
This is not where it ends
I will carry you with me, oh
'Til I see you again."

We all have someone who's gone, someone we miss.  Carrie Underwood's song "See You Again" gives us a little hope -- the people we love may be gone from our current life, but we carry them in our hearts.  Always.

Last night, I had a dream that I was leaning how to surf.  My teacher? Was my stepson, Dougie.  I wasn't afraid; he was right there with me.  And though he's been gone from this earth for five years now, it doesn't matter -- he is always in my heart.  And every now and then... I see him in a dream, feel his presence in a moment.

I will see you again...
This is not where it ends.
I will carry you with me
Til I see you again.

Love you Dougie!
'Mom

Hope Crashes

It's Monday ... gym day!  and I'm ready.....
you see......

There's a man at the gym who has been friendly,
smiling, waving and talking to me in the past.
Nice man. 
Very nice.  :)
He's been absent lately - but was back today.
We talked. 
Smiled.
Talked more.
and Smiled again.

This is the first time we've talked when one of us wasn't on a machine.
I thought of him as short.
But he's as tall as I am.

He has blue eyes.
and a 'something' that appeals to me.
More smiling.
And then....  out comes the deal breaker:
"we have two yellow labs."
*sigh*

Why do things that have a hint of promise
come to a screeching halt with "we" ???

It's hard to believe I misread a signal or two....
but then again, I've been out of the dating scene for a while now
*another sigh*
Oh well. 
back to my original word:   "Next!"

Cramped Out!

It's bout 11:30pm and I've been asleep for about 2.5 hours -- well, as deep a sleep as I get with Sadie roaming the floors.  We had run an errand earlier, and anything outside her "norm" messes with the bedtime routine--- you know how that can go!   Anyways, I'm laying there, and all of a sudden, my eyes fly open and I feel like I had been jabbed by a hot poker.  When its out of the blue in the middle of your sleep, your first thought when you wake up and "What the hell was that?" 

And not two seconds later, as I begin to swing my legs over the side of the bed it hits me:  a very intensely painful leg cramp down my inner thigh.  It's cramping so hard, I barely catch my breath, and I tell myself to slow down, breathe .... breathe... don't hyperventilate!  but the cramping doesn't stop.  I feel myself break out into an intense sweat from the pain, and my next thought was "oh gawds, please don't make me throw up from the pain..."  and I'm back to my mantra:  breathe... breathe.... deep breath .... breathe.....

Ok.  Next issue:  how to relieve the cramping.  I've had them in my calves before (always my left leg, and this was too) and usually just standing on it and gently stretching it will do the trick.  Not this time!  I tried to stand and nope, fell right back onto the bed.  A whole two minutes might have gone by, and my next thought was "geeee, how am I gonna get to the bathroom... if..... " 

I closed my eyes, concentrate on my breathing, and putting my leg in a position where the cramping eases up, and focus on relaxing (ignoring, of course, the fact that I want to toss my Milky Way bar .... )  Once I've allowed the muscle to relax just a little bit, I decide I better hobble across the room toward the bathroom .... just... in ... case....

By the time I cross that span of eight feet, I'm beginning to feel a little better, noticing though that my pajamas are soaking wet, sweat's  been dripping into my eyes.  I grab a towel, lower the lid on the toilet and ease myself into a sitting position.  The nausea has passed ,the pain has subsided enough that I can endure small movements.  I slide out of my jammies and into something dry and fresh.  I towel off my face and neck, all the while making sure I'm breathing. 

I tested my leg for its ability to hold me without pain, and it finally did.  I took a few laps around the bedroom, then the kitchen.  Ok.  Its doing ok, it doesn't seem to be cramping any longer and wow, I think I can get back in bed.  Of course, any movement that uses the muscle that had cramped was a little painful, and I was nervous about having it cramp up again. 

I grabbed an extra pillow, shoved it between my knees and laid on my right side, letting that left leg just rest up there on that pillow.  I was able to go back to sleep rather quickly (which was nice!) but I woke up in that same position in the wee morning hours. No way was I going to risk another horrible cramp because I *moved*. 

Cramps are attributed to three things:  mineral deficiency in the system, dehydration, lack of stretching, and overuse.  Well.  I'm quite sure it was all four of those things!  I'd been to the gym four days in a row.... its not as hot here, so my water intake is lower than it had been. 

Sometimes when things like this happen in the middle of the night, you feel your alone-ness a lot more; there's not much anyone else can do when this happens, but having someone to help get past the worry could be nice......  I'll be sure to stretch nicely, drink more water and take my vitamins this week, to keep this from happening again!!

Happy Weekend!

Back on Track

I haven't posted in a couple days.  But I haven't had a lot to chat about -- work wipes me out lately, its very busy, lots of prep work for the BIG holidays coming up.  Loads and loads of freight coming in, and everyone is over-busy.  My friend Helen came in the other day so we had time for a good chat - always great to catch up with friends!

I started a project with my photography where I'm taking a picture every day.  The theme is just something that made me smile.  And I did ok for the first couple weeks, but its slacked off this week.  Its not so hard taking pix, but lately, I haven't had time on a daily basis to upload and edit pictures.  My pup, Sadie, would rather have attention than let me work on the computer!   *sigh*

I've been back at the gym, every day this week, so I'm happy with that; its progress!  My trainer, Russell, said pick one thing, and do it, succeed, then move on to the next.  So.  Its "to the gym every day".  check.  Next week, my focus will be back on drinking water, and no soda.   Its a process, and time to get back on track. 

American Pickers (again!)

American Pickers - what is it that draws me to this show?  Other than the charm and simplicity of the two and what they do:  finding pieces of american history in out of the way places. 

But a big part of the appeal is what they do above and beyond buying and selling.  In an episode I watched today, they were in California, and found a surf board shop to go in; they bought three surfboards, and then took them to the California Surf Museum to be appraised.  With the info they gained, they did well on two purchases of surfboards.  The last surfboard impressed the museum folks so much, that Frank and Mike donated the last Plastic Fantastic surfboard to the museum, because it belonged there, not in Iowa. 

So many folks these days would rather just keep the profit....

There's nothing better than a couple of "cobbers from Iowa" -- and its refreshing to see, to learn, to know that there are still people in the world who do the right thing. 

70s Retro

My Dad's handy in every way that counts! He's there when you need a hand, of course, but better, he knows how to solve problems and fix things to make them better.   One of the things I remember he made for us kids was stilts.  A long piece of wood, attach a foothold onto it, and voila! I remember how my sister and I would hop up on those things and stomp around the driveway.  I look back and think wow!  We had balance, a good core, strong limbs to be able to do that!  And we weren't afraid of falling either!

I also loved to jump rope.  We had a long run with the double dutch jump rope.  It wasn't always easy to find kids tall enough to turn the rope for me (I was one of the older kids on the block).  Neighbor girls would come over and we'd double dutch for hours at a time, taking turns.




 
Do you remember marbles in grade school??  4th and 5th grades - at Bracher Elementary.  There was an unpaved portion of the school yard, and we'd head over there to shoot marbles.  I think we put a string in a circle, tossed in a few marbles, then tried to shoot them outside the circle with our large lucky cats' eye marble.  Or maybe a steely.  I remember my marble bag.  It was green, with a red print - flowers or leaves perhaps - with a draw string.  I know Mom made it.... she made everything!  Recess and lunch times, it didn't matter, we were in the middle of  a marble fad!

Another childhood fad I recall... knockers.  The design was like the answer to a Zen riddle: two orbs attached by a common string. By holding the middle of the string and moving your hands in a constant up-and-down motion, kids caused the thick glass spheres to collide at the top and bottom. Aside from looking great (especially if the balls were speckled inside with glitter), the toy made a highly satisfying clacking noise that you controlled. Many a parent was driven to profanity by this hellish metronome, but that was only the start of the problems.

As you can probably guess, they had a short life, and ended up on the "dangerous toy" list.


Another 70s fad from my childhood:  waffle stompers!  Everybody had 'em for a while in the mid 70's. You know - those big, clunky beige or brown boots with the waffle tread and red or yellow laces.  These days, they look like "hiking boots".  In fact, I just bought a pair two years ago for hiking! 

What goes around, comes back again!

Long Weeks

This past week was one of the longest weeks on record, I think!  Or at least, it felt that way.  It was one of those kind where everything you start, you have in mind the time it will take to do--- and then wham, something happens and it takes twice as long.  Work's felt that way for a while now, and I feel like I'm getting behinder, rather than making progress every day.  I will have to adjust my thinking on that account, and realize that everything can't be done every single day. And then be satisfied with that.  Maybe this little mental adjustment will help!

With our work schedules clashing, poor Sadie has been home alone more than she ought to be.  Now that she's past a lot of the puppy stages, its not bad, but her neediness increases as she is left alone.  I got home from work early on Friday, at noon, and from that point on, we had to be 'buddies'.  The kind where she's right next to me, and whining if I'm not paying attention to her.   And for some reason, the usual attention things didn't work:  we went for a walk, we sat and brushed her for a while, we sat outside so she could watch the birds, we played fetch.  And still by 8pm, she hadn't had enough!  It felt like having a whiny two year old!  and EEEKS, I'm much too old for that on a constant basis!  Finally, I said I had enough, and started moving furniture to vacuum and wipe down and put back.  At least doing chores, she thinks she's "helping" by being in the way .... heh heh heh.  And it stops the whining that starts the instant I sit down to do anything on the computer. 

Today hasn't been much better.  We started the day with an hour's walk at Riparian Preserve, our fav place to walk and see people, other dogs, birds, bunnies, ducks, and assorted other water fowl.  We watered the cactus.  We dabbled in the pool.  We had breakfast.  We had another walk to the mailbox.  We sat in the sunshine to read a book... well, I read, she chased helicopters, cicadas, and any other flying critter. We had lunch.  And Finally.  FINALLY! at 12:30 she is now snoozing at the end of my bed.

Which will only last as long as I sit here without moving.
I hope my bladder holds out for an hour.  *laughs*

Hopscotch

Oh yeah, Hopscotch!  

Hopscotch is a popular playground game
in which players toss a small object into
numbered spaces of a pattern of rectangles
outlined on the ground and then hop or jump
through the spaces to retrieve the object.


 

Childhood memories are sometimes covered and obscured 

beneath things that came later.... " - Neil Gaiman

And I'm no different, finding memories of my own kids layered over memories of my own childhood.  Lately I've been trying to piece together memories, little points of interest, from when I was growing up.  And playing hopscotch is one of them.  If you had a piece of chalk and a chain, a trinket or even a small stone, you could occupy yourself for hours with hopscotch!  Just draw out the squares, 1-9 it was for us, and start hopping.

What brought this to mind?  My training session.  My trainer had me hopping like a schoolgirl on one foot, and frankly, I found it very difficult!  I had no trouble doing this as a child, but found it a challenge yesterday to hop more than twice in a row - no way could I have hopped all the way to 9, turn around and do it in reverse, balancing on one foot while bending over to retrieve my trinket in a square and continuing down to one again!!

Why is it we lose these abilities?  And worse, when we're older, we pay someone to force us to do the things we thought of as "fun" back when we were kids - and it was free!

What were some of the things you did as a kid?
Anything come to mind??? 

Noises

It's 11:30 pm and I can't sleep.
Here's how the last hour has gone:
"Mr. Eckard, where are your tea things?"
"My what?"
"Your tea things"
"Last time I checked, they were next to the fingerbowls"
(stranded on a deserted island, there aren't any tea things!  from the movie Father Goose)
*keystroke*clakkety*keystroke*
-sigh-
chime>chime>chime (as I play freeflow)
-sigh-
whoosh.whoosh.whoosh
dammmit
whoosh.whoosh.whoosh
sweet!
Divine!!
there.
oops.
crap
"You have failed"  (yeah, Candy Crush)
*wHoppWhiRRwHopp* (helicopter flies over)
yeeeeeeeeooooooowwwwwwwwwwww (cat howls)
woof*woo*woo*woof*woof*woof (Sadie barks)
shhhhhhh be quiet!
*pet*pet*pet* (to quiet her down again)
sigh
*snore*snoofle*snore* (Sadie... not me!)
*wHoppWhiRRwHopp* (helicopter flies over)
 "See this whistle? You want it? All you have to do is repeat three words, OK?"
*girl nods*
"Elephant"
"Elephant" she repeats
"Rhinoceros"
"Rhinoceros" she repeats
"Wrong"
"Why?"
"No, not why, wrong.  Wrong was the third word.  You lose."
*whistle blows*
 *snore*snoofle*snore* (Sadie still..... not me!)
seems the only one who can go back to sleep is Sadie.
Lucky her!
Guess I'll try counting sheep......
one.... two.... three...

One Hot Mama!

Who turned up the heat???

When I was 29, I had a hysterectomy, and my doctor started me on hormone replacement therapy.  Now that I'm over 50 ... well, it's time to stop taking those hormones, and just be the way nature intended. 

Which is Ok ....... and not so Ok. 

I stopped taking them in June, and since then I've had some mild hot flashes.  Or I guessed they were mild -- who can tell when you live in the desert and its +/- 110 for two entire months??  Well, at night I notice them now, and they're crazy!  You wake up hot, and throw off the covers, only to be tugging them back on 10 minutes later!  Sure does interrupt the sleep! 

I am now noticing them during the day as well. 
I'll be working along, doing my thing, and suddenly
its like you just opened the oven door  ... that's on ... and set to 350.  
Good thing they don't last too long, but they sure aren't fun! 

The other side affect I've noticed is weight gain.  Of the 50 I lost, I've gained back 5 -- and I am NOT happy about that at all!   Ok, Ok, I know that I shouldn't judge on the scale, that my weight will fluctuate because I'm female anyhow -- yeah, I've heard all that, but I'm still ... letting the scale judge me.  *sigh*  Adding to the hormone changes, the stress levels with work have all piled up to conspire against me.  When I don't "feel good", chocolate always makes things better --- right??? 

I checked wiki for some basic info: 

• Hot flashes, a common symptom of menopause, are typically experienced as a feeling of intense heat with sweating and rapid heartbeat, and may typically last from two to thirty minutes for each occurrence.
•  
• Lifestyle changes may help alleviate hot flashes. These include avoiding caffeine, hot drinks, chocolate, spicy or hot foods and alcohol.  (sheesh, that leaves out ALLLL the good stuff!!!)

I think that I'll just endure the hot flashes for a while -
and keep having my Diet Coke and occasional chocolate :)
And a little extra time at the gym helps both stress and the weight gain -- a win/win!

Puddles

Overwhelmed

When there is too much going on, and not enough time to take care of it all, and you begin to feel overwhelmed with it all, what do you do?  What is the one thing you turn to when you want to find your center again? 

For me, its two things:  chocolate (of course!) and then reading in order to find inspiration. Sometimes that reading is just plain old chick lit, and sometimes its a fav self help book by Sarah Ban Breathnach called "Romancing the Ordinary".  She breaks her categories into months, with a different topic, and I've enjoyed her insights over and over again. So much so that I bought the book on Amazon, rather than keep checking it out of the library.  *laughs* 

In reading today, I found a place where she quotes Wayne Muller, "God does not want us to be exhausted.  God wants us to be happy."  And this reminded me of a talk with my friend, Helen.  (She's been on LOA, but stopped in on Friday to have lunch with me!)  We often say that to each other -- "Everyone deserves to be happy." 

But its harder to feel happiness when things are overwhelming you, when your "to do" pile is bigger than the hours in a day.  I know it is for me.  In Muller's book, "Sabbath", he writes "In our drive for success, we are seduced by the promises of more:  more money, more recognition, more satisfaction, more love, more information, more influence, more possessions, more security."  Even when we have good intentions in the things we do to achieve that success, it comes with a price.

Women as a whole have become so overworked and overwrought we no longer know how to help ourselves.  That's where we need to find balance within our lives, within our selves.  Knowing when to work, when to play and when to rest is part of finding that balance.  Once we find it, we do our work with greater ease and joy.  If we forget to rest, we will work too hard, and forget those we love, forget our children and our natural wonder. 

Remember to rest. 
This is very important.
But its also important to play and make love
and eat with those you love. 
Find balance in your busy life. 
You will be better for it. 
And you probably won't feel so overwhelmed. :)

Convoy!

October 4th (10-4)  is our reminder of all the truckers who keep American running; they bring us the things we need every single day of the year.        The song Convoy by CW McCall can be heard here

The song begins ....  we was headin' for bear on  " I  one oh "  about a mile out of shaky town....

If you're from the west, or if you've driven here in the west, you know that heading east out of Los Angeles means I-10, an extremely busy traveled road leading to Arizona.  America's truckers are some of the most amazing people I've ever met.  And while there are stories of bad truckers, they don't compare to the number of good truckers out there.  At my job, I meet up with a couple truckers a week, and they're always extremely helpful.  Ricky and Woody are two company drivers who are hard working good guys; the driver who picked up a load for me on Friday (from Con-Way) was awesome. 

From an Ann Landers column in the SunSentinel: 

WHO IS THAT PERSON BEHIND THE WHEEL?

Truckers are found on highways, in truck stops, in service bays, on loading docks, on bush roads and at fuel stops, and often they are the first at the scene of an accident.  Their wives help them. Little boys follow them. Relatives don`t understand them. Meals must wait for them. Weather can delay them. But nothing can stop them.

A trucker is a paradox. He is a blue-jeaned executive with his office in the cab. He is a scientist who hauls dangerous chemicals and explosives; a purchasing agent in a baseball cap; a personnel director with grease under his fingernails; a poor eater with a fondness for burgers and fries; a student of geography and a weather watcher who reads the clouds for rain or snow.

He likes sunshine, children, smooth pavement, good traction, clean loads, dinner at home, weekends with his family, his shirt collar unbuttoned and country music. And there is a special place in his heart for his rig.  He`s not too fond of city traffic, tourists who are rotten drivers, fuel prices, dispatchers, snarly receivers, kids in high-powered cars or drunk drivers.  Nobody else gets as much satisfaction out of talking about trucks, truckers, gear shifting, good weather, homemade pie, strong hot coffee, kids, wives, sweethearts and the price of diesel.

He is your friend and your customer. He is your source of food, building products, clothing, petroleum, natural resources -- in fact, nearly everything in your life arrived in his truck.  And when he comes home late at night after a long and tiring trip, the energy sapped from his hopes and dreams, he can be lifted up once more by those magic words: ``Daddy`s home!``

The next time you're at a rest stop, on the road, getting fuel, or stopped at a red light, thank a trucker, they keep America rolling!  Let them truckers roll, 10-4!

Feel Young Again

“Lady, I do not make up things.

That is lies. Lies are not true.

But the truth could be made up

if you know how.

And that's the truth. Pppppfffffftttttt. ” 

-Lily Tomlin

What is it about returning to your family, the home you grew up in, your parents' house that makes you feel like a kid again? I dashed up to Calif to see my folks for a quick 3 day visit, and was sitting there after dinner at the kitchen table. My sister and I were having a glass of wine. My best friend Melanie was there; we were all chatting about the old days, old teachers, classmates, the usual topics that come up. And I sat there realizing that my sister turned 48, and will soon turn 50. I'm the big sister, so that makes me...... well, even older! 

Sitting there, it sure didn't feel like we're this damn old! We laughed and joked about how we're a little older than our parents' ages were when we were the teenagers sitting at that very table, talking about school, teachers, classmates. There's no way we're as old as they were with the same chronological number sitting in front of their name...... or are we????? Damn, but that's a sobering thought.

Lori and I joked about how no way we're old, we do too much, keep too busy, to consider ourselves "old". (Personally, I'd like to tell that to my knees when they creak in the morning!) Yeah, there are times when I think I'm still .... hmm.... what would I consider my age now to be? I think I still feel like I'm early 40's.... and she's a bit younger. So 10 years... that's quite a difference.

Personally, I like to say "You're only as old as you feel...." Only lately I prefer not to use the word "old" any longer.... When I ask people their age, I now phrase it "How young are you?" Cuz invariably, they're younger than I am. hahaha

Time seems to know no boundaries when you "go home". Want to feel young again? Visit your parents... they'll love it! Bet you will too.

So there you have it: "You're as young as you feel!!"

(Reposted from April 2011)