The (Tarnished) Golden Years

Getting older is never a fun thing.  When I was a kid, I always heard about "the golden years", about how life gets better as we're older, kids are grown, responsibilities change, and there's more time for yourself to pursue your own pleasures now.

Well, there are two sides to that "golden years" myth.  What if you don't have your health?  That's always a huge concern.  I'm lucky, I've had issues, but overall I'm pretty healthy *knock on wood*.  The other part is with people living longer, the rate of divorce, etc, when you reach your golden years and you're alone, sometimes struggling paycheck to paycheck, it can sometimes feel more like tarnished years!

I'm not complaining, but there are times when at my age, I feel as if I'm becoming more and more invisible.  The media puts the young, the beautiful out there ... and we've become inured to that as being the norm -- when in fact a mature older woman finally knows what she wants, there's less drama -- we shouldn't be invisible!

But the main point I wanted to bring up was about reaching these "golden years" and realizing that you haven't achieved something you dreamed of.  I've always had a passion for farms, farm houses and barns, and old houses.  Renovating them was something I always wanted to do, but never had the time when I was raising kids.  Never had the money or a partner to take that on later in life.  I still think I'd do it now, if I didn't have to work at a job that .... leaves things to be desired in the "making a difference, doing what you love" department.

So what now?  I'll be 57 in a week, and I wonder what's next in my life.  Another 10 years on the job until I retire?  Sometimes I feel as if I'm still 35 in my head, and that I still have time to do all that I've wanted to do.  But that time is becoming less and less.

Frankly, maybe it will feel less that way after the heat leaves the Valley of the Sun.  Cabin fever is usually associated with folks who live with a lot of snow -- but the heat does the same thing to us here in the desert.  We are camped out indoors with the AC.  I tried doing some home improvement stuff, but having to live with the fumes of paint or stain circulating with the AC isn't good for any of us, so .... we wait for Sept 15, which is the average end of excessive summer heat for us.  Thank goodness!

So in the meantime, I'm trudging along doing what I can given current circumstances, but making plans for things (and attitudes) to be better come fall.

Happy Summer Days!