Challenge Complete!

 Day 30 of my self imposed challenge of 30 walks in 30 days.  It was a glorious day to walk, cool but sunny, with a few puffy clouds.  I'm happy to be finished, but also happy that I was able to keep up with it.  It kept me focused on something during a rough holiday season. (Working retail during the holidays is very unrewarding, to say the least.)

Getting outdoors is good for a body, and even better for mental health!   And I liked that I could challenge myself to do something besides just work and home.  Going for a walk after working an 8 hour shift is not the easiest thing for a person, even harder for a Gal over 60!!  

Now I need to think about the next challenge .... January 1 begins a while new month, and a whole new year --- are you ready for some changes ????   Happy New Year! 

Day 29

 I looked up a new park, only 3 miles from me, said it had a lake.  Short drive over and it's a great park for sports minded people:  baseball, basketball, volleyball, tennis.  There's a lake, and it's stocked with fish for fishing, but there isn't a path around it, and very few trees -- maybe it's a new park?  I don't know for sure, I didn't even know it was there.  But there's playgrounds for kids, which is great too!   It was a pretty day for a walk, and walk I did!  Day 29 down, one more to go! 

Day 28

 I had to hurry home from work to avoid getting caught in rain showers, and waited until it let up after a while.  It was still sprinkling, so taking photos isn't always easy, but I was fascinated by the way there was a shelf of clouds covering my neighborhood, but in the distance, there was a break and the sunset was reflected on a different set of clouds.   Day 28, two more to go! 

Short Walk

 Walking at Riparian Preserve is something I've done often for 12 years now.  It's a fav, and with different seasons, there are different looks, different things to see.  In this photo, you can see that there were plenty of clouds - rain expected soon!  In the center panel in the distance is Superstition Mountain where local legends abound about being gold in them hills!  It's part of the Lost Dutchman Mine legend.  If you want to learn more, just Google!  Plenty of info.  

Day 26

Walking in my neighborhood, checking out the puffy clouds.  More rain in the forecast, so enjoy the sun while you can!    

Day 26 of my 30 day challenge.  It hasn't always been easy to get out and shoot some photos, but I made the effort -- and forced myself to follow through on the days I didn't quite feel up to it.  I think I need to figure out another challenge for January!  It gives me something to focus on :)

 

Foggy Morning

We had a touch of morning fog!  It's rare in the Valley of the Sun, so I got dressed and headed out real fast for a walk.  I like the moody gloom that comes with fog.  You can't see too far up a street, so when you're walking, you feel like you're alone in the world!  The fog tried breaking through, but it stayed cloudy most of the day.

When it rains, the gutters feed the rain runoff into basins. Each neighborhood has one, and ours filled up in the past couple of days.  When that happens, the ducks come to play, or search out food. Sometimes both!  

Ready to start the new year??  

Rainin' Here

A very long day full of rain, rain and more rain!  We don't get it often here in the Valley of the Sun, so when it happens, we embrace it.  Mostly. lol  My walk was short.  Here's my little gnome standing in a puddle of water.  The skies were gray and gloomy, and seemed to suit my mood.  Once home from my walk, I cuddled under my soft silky blanket and watched some TV before bedtime.  

Happy Holidays to all of you! 

Carousels on my Walk

 Another walk at Freestone Park, and because they're on holiday schedule, the kiddie rides were open, including the antique carousel built in 1951 by Allan Herschell Company, who are known for their carousels.

For me, carousels bring a smile to my face because it reminds me of being a kid.  It's always been my fav ride at carnivals and amusement parks!

We have rain in the forecast for the next couple of days, so I'll have to try walking between raindrops!  

Holiday blessings, my friend! 

Arizona Sunsets

 I took my walk in my neighborhood.  The sun was just setting, there was only a little breeze, it was nice to be away from shoppers and stores and traffic!  

Two Thirds Done

 A long glorious walk at my fav park, Riparian Preserve.  I took a different route that goes around Pond 4.  I don't usually go that route because it's off the beaten path. I didn't see a single soul as I walked that way -- although I *did* happen upon a horse and rider just before I took the path.  That's always a thrill, a horse walking around in the park, and makes me grin.  And snap photos!  Will share as soon as I can get them off my camera card.  

The odd looking square things in the sky (lower right) are platforms for the birds that hunt their prey.  Sometimes I can catch a vulture or hawk perched up there -- no such luck today!  There were thin clouds in the sky, so it gave the walk a moody feel, and I liked it! 

Ready for the Holidays??

Because of some issues at work, I was called in early then stayed late.

Which made me too tired to do any extra walking!  

So here are some photos from the evening as I was leaving the store ....

Hope you're ready for the holidays!! 

 

Neighborhood Walk

Just a walk in my neighborhood .... 

 

Home Depot Trippin'

 You never know what a day will hold.  I loaded my bed sheets in the washer, then through the dryer. As I loaded the next load from the washer to the dryer, I turned the start button and it snapped off in my hand!  Being on the handy side, I thought it could turn the plastic insert with a pair of needle nose, but nope!  So it was off to Home Depot to shop for a new washer and dryer -- Merry Christmas to me!  On the way home, I stopped off at the local ball park and took a quick zoom around before heading home to begin the wonderful job of washing clothes and then hanging them all up to dry.  My garage and my bedroom look like a mythical chinese laundry with things hanging from every available nook and crook!!   

Walkin' and Rockin'

A walk at Red Mountain Park.  It was a beautiful evening for a walk around the lake.  There were plenty of kids fishing in the lake that is stocked by Arizona Game and Fish.  

I also painted on the largest rock yet.  The cap is in photo to show the size of this rock!

Kindness rocks *rock* :)

 

Downtown Gilbert

Gilbert, Arizona, was once known as the "Hay shipping capital of the world."  It covers 69 square miles of land and still has areas that are zoned for residents to have horses.  There's an annual rodeo and a few parades.  Downtown is unique and they have tried to keep and capture the "cowboy feel" of this town.  I took a walk in downtown, snapped a few photos and just enjoyed the ambiance of it's small town feel.  There was an interesting mural, the sidewalks give the storefronts an old fashioned feel, and on the side of Joe's BBQ, a brick building built in 1929, is an original Coke sign embedded in the side of the building.  (my personal fav characteristic!!) 

** side note:  after reading up on the history of Gilbert, there are a few more places I want to get back to photograph!!   Another time, soon :) 

30 Walks, 30 Days

 

Another walk through Riparian Preserve.  With 4.5 miles of trails through this park, no two walks are ever the same!  

Keeping My Challenge Going

The walk today was in my neighborhood.  The weatherman predicted some heavy winds and rain in the evening, so I didn't want to be caught in it!  But it didn't hit us until about 9pm, and then whoa!  Look out!  It was very heavy wind, woke me up, sounded like an airplane buzzing overhead for hours!  Then rain, and some very cold temps!  It was 37degrees the next morning!

Here's some holiday cheer from around the neighborhood and one really big blooming bougainvillea!  

 

Reindeer??

A quick walk at Riparian Preserve, the sun beginning it's descent, and also lighting up the moon in the east.  A friend of mine from back in jr high said the tree branch looks like a reindeer!  (Now I can't unsee that!) 

 

Walking Challenge Continues

And another day's walk at Freestone Park.  On weekends they have a child size train for riding around the park.  Loved seeing all the kids riding it, most of them waved as it passed me by!  

 

10 Days In

After a short work day, I shopped.  There is one day a year where my BigBox Store gives us 25% off one transaction, no matter how many items are in our buggy.  So I shopped after work, and the drive home took 20 mins longer than normal.  After I got my groceries put away, I decided I did NOT want to get out there in the traffic, so my walk was in my own neighborhood.  I put on my headphones and cued up some Nickelback ..... it was a great evening for a brisk walk.  I dug out my hoodie because it was 59 degrees.  I enjoy a good walk when it's cooler!

Some of my neighbor's displays!  So cheery!!

 

Walking, Day 9

 Another day of walking, out at Riparian Preserve again.  It's my fav place to walk, there is a lot of variety in what path you take, which pond you walk around.  There are lots of ducks and other birds, rabbits, quail .... I could go on.  But every time is the same yet different.  

This week, they've put up holiday themed light up displays along the walking paths for night strolls.  I'm sure the kids will love it!  Me, I'm not big on the crowds, so I won't be there at night.  

I'm happy that I challenged myself!

Day 8 Completed!

I made it through an entire week of fulfilling my self challenged 30 walks in 30 days!  I went to one of my fav spots to take photos: Hole in the Rock at Papago Park.  I headed out at 3:30pm because there were clouds in the sky to the west, but by the time I got there, and ready to start snapping, they had dissipated.  But a sunset in the Valley of the Sun never disappoints!!  

Walkin' Again

In my challenge to get 30 walks in 30 days, I've been finding myself out and about town at odd hours. Especially when I want to catch a sunset shot.  When I checked my FB page, my "memories" showed that I had been to Riverview Park exactly seven years ago.  So that's where I headed again.  A few changes around the park, nice place to hang out.  

Keepin' On

 Another day's walk at Freestone Park.  I'm so happy we have terrific weather in order to do this self imposed challenge.  It makes me happy to take afternoon walks when I'm done working for the day! 

At the same time, I dropped a few Kindness Rocks along the way.  It was a good day :)

Another Day's Walk

 Another day, another walk .... but not in a park.  It was a very busy holiday shopping day and I got all my steps and more at my local Walmart!  

Have you finished your holiday shopping yet??

Day 4 Walk

Today's walk was just around my neighborhood.  I worked an unscheduled shift today, and had to rush home to do laundry so today's walk was just around my local blocks.  I'm glad it's the holiday season --- something new to view at some of the neighbors' houses!   The sun was just setting and light bounced off a few clouds.  It was a beautiful day in the Valley of the Sun !!

Day 3 Walk

I took another trek to a different park for today's walk:  Tumbleweed Park.  It's been many years since I visited and things keep evolving, as they should with parks.  There are a lot of new play areas for kids, and for a Friday at 1pm there were a *lot* of kids at the park playing and having a good time!  It was a warm day (85!!) and I was glad I was wearing a tank top under my work shirt, so I got a little sun on my arms as I walked!  There was one area in the grass where there were some rocks, and I kicked loose a lovely oval, very smooth stone just a tad bigger than my hand.  I'm not sure if I'm going to leave it as it, or use it as a rock for my kindness rocks project!  

There's a small part of the park that is a working ranch, with lots of old tools and an old house, and this old truck.  There are events and sometimes docents working who talk about what farming was like in the past.  This is also the park where they have the annual Ostrich Festival in the spring.  

The Chandler Arizonan said “Ostriches are all the rage in Chandler” in 1914 and they’re still the talk of the town more than 100 years later.  The man most associated with the large flightless birds and Arizona is none other than city of Chandler founder Dr. Alexander J. Chandler.

The doctor was among the first to bring the birds to Arizona after he saw them at the 1893 Columbian Exposition in Chicago, Chandler Museum Administrator Jody Crago said.

Twelve years later, in 1905, the doctor had a large herd of ostriches at his ranch in Mesa and his success spurred other local ranchers to follow suit. Chandler tried to corner the ostrich market but eventually was upstaged by the Pan American Ostrich Farm in the West Valley, Crago said.

My son and I went one year and watched jousting, monkeys performing tricks and of course, the ostrich races!  

Parking Spots

When you have a child with a handicap, you learn how to do things so that they can function.  My son was visually impaired.  We learned that as an adult, he can't walk out of a store and look down a row of cars and pick out our car.  So we learned to park in the same spot, that way if he ever got lost or turned around, he would know where the car is.  Today, when I grocery shopped, it made me smile and think of him, because I *still* park in that same parking spot when I go to that store.  And the same at every other store I go to:  the same parking spot every time.  In case he ever needs to find me.

I know that in reality, he will never need to do that again, but I still do the same thing.  And maybe that's a good thing because as I get older, maybe *I* will be the one who forgets where I parked a car!   But that doesn't happen when you park in the same spot week after week.  lol   Yes, it's a little OCD but it's also affirming in that I won't be one of those who is walking around a parking lot with a basket full of groceries and not finding my car! 

That reminds me of a time living in Ohio.  Brian was signing up to attend Sinclair Community College.  I drove him and found all the places he needed to go.  We parked in a multi story parking garage, did our errands and when we were done, of course I was leading the way to the parked car because that's the dynamic he and I had.  I walked right to where I assumed the car would be, next to the pole, about 10 spaces from the stairwell.  But the car wasn't there!!  After working all day, and driving him in the evening hours to a school I hadn't been to, I was quickly starting to panic.  Brian said push the car alarm button.  I did, and we could hear it!  But we never saw the flash of the headlights.  Push it again, Mom!!  And then, because his hearing is much better than mine, he said it's one floor up!  We ... no, *I* had miscalculated which floor we parked on!  So we went up one more flight of stairs, and there just where I knew it would be was our car.  Talk about a flood of relief!  Every time we parked at Sinclair, we made sure we knew the floor *before* we walked away from the garage.  lol 

 Sometimes it's the little things in life that we tend to take for granted that become wonderful memories  :)    I miss my son every single day! 

Walking, Day 2

I completed my second day of my self imposed challenge of 30 walks in 30 days.  I walked at Veteran's Oasis Park, a nice walk around a lake, and some trails out back with little hills to challenge the walk.   Another nice day!

I looked a "how to" and then just thought what the heck, I'll just do my own thing!!

How to Build Your Own 30-day Fitness Challenge

1. Determine Your Theme. Themed 30-day fitness challenges are ideal because they make the program relevant for the user. ...
2. Organize the Pieces. ...
3. Create a Supportive Environment. ...
4. Develop a Marketing Plan. ...
5. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare.

While this is a simplified list, you can make it as complicated or easy as you want.  Just making up your mind to get out and start doing it is a major step.  I got this! 

A Walking Challenge

So I woke up on December 1 and decided that I needed something to .... get me motivated again.  I was inspired by an article I read by another woman who is single and in her 60s and she mentioned that she wasn't held accountable to times and checking in with someone else and I realize that I have that same thing:  There's no reason for me to rush home after work each day! 

With that thought in my mind, I decided I would challenge myself to walk every day for 30 days.  I realize that some days I won't be able to head to a park, but walking my neighborhood should do the trick on those days!   

Day 1 :   I walked at Riparian Preserve, it was a beautiful morning! Not only did I get in a 30+ minute walk, but I was also able to hide a few of the Kindness Rocks that I paint and then leave in places around town to brighten someone's day :)   I left the rocks pictured around Riparian Preserve. 

Aging Parents

It's my day off, and I'm finally relaxing.  At least I think that's what I'm doing!  lol  I'm getting caught up on my household chores after being gone for quite a while.  My mother hasn't been herself.  And we've been trying to figure out what the problem is.  Between doctors and family, we all have our own thoughts.  Of course, age is a factor.  And doing things outside of her normal routine is another factor  She and I took a trip to a destination wedding for my brother in August, and she hasn't been the same since.  In fact, her anxiety levels have gotten worse, and I feel like she has some depression as well.

Her husband died six years ago, her grandson died two years ago, and her daughter died a year ago.  She doesn't deal well with these types of things - she is a very private person and doesn't discuss feelings all that often.  If at all.  But bottling things up isn't good, and that has contributed to some of her issues.  Adding to the problem was withdrawal from Gabapentin.  She was on this drug for some nerve pain issues for quite some time, and it's my personal belief that she's still having some withdrawal symptoms. 

Her anxiety got the best of her, and she started having panic attacks, especially late at night.  Then she wasn't sleeping, sometimes for 48 or 72 hours  Sleep deprivation causes many weird mental problems, and I was there for five days to help.  I had to fly home for 3 days of work, then flew back to take care of her again.  But five days into my stay, and things weren't any better.  Pacing.  Moaning. Crying.  Lack of appetite.  Shakes.  Confusion.  On the day it was time for me to head back home, she cried until I changed my schedule and stayed for another week.  Boy was it a long week! 

I started this entry back in October, but hesitated on posting, but ... the reality is at some point, children will be caring for their aging parents.  And as the average age increases, so does that reality.  In my case, I've always assumed that job would fall to me once my sister passed away.  But my mother chose to go with my brother when we came to realize that she wasn't getting much better.  

Now that a month has gone by, yes, my mother has improved a LOT.  But since she's feeling so much better, she's convinced she can get off her medications, as if she's been taking an antibiotic to cure an infection.  She and I have the same conversation once a week:  stay on the meds, don't change *anything* until you're back in your home and you think things are better again.  I'm worried that going back to her house and living alone will bring up all the issues she hasn't yet dealt with, and things will get worse again.

There is no easy way to deal with aging parents but with patience, care and sometimes redirecting their focus.  I understand how my mother feels about staying in her own home.  But that may not be possible unless I consider moving in with her.  *sigh*  Not my first choice.  She's going back to her own home in 10 days.  We'll see how it goes from there! 

Pulling The Wagon

Throughout my life, when things seem to be overwhelming, to me it seems like I'm pulling a wagon.  When things are really bad, it's like I'm pulling a wagon up hill!  During my first marriage, I was the one who would get the kids to grandma's, pick them up after work, then drag everything upstairs to get dinner started.  Once I opened the door, I knew that I would find hubby sitting on the couch drinking Pepsi and eating chips.  To me, that felt like I was the one pulling the wagon.  Sometimes he might "walk along side" but he didn't often pull the wagon, and I was never the one who got to ride *in* the wagon.   It was mostly the same with my second and third husbands as well.

There are times when you look at a job situation and you recognize that you're one of the ones who pull the wagon as well.   Why is it that in life, there are wagon pullers, wagon riders and those who just walk along? 

Am I noticing it more as I get older? 

Or is there something about the youngest generation of workers who make it more obvious?  

At my age, I'm tired of being a wagon puller.  There are times when I just want to walk along with the rest of the "crowd".  It's not often that I feel the need to be the wagon rider, but there are moments when it would be nice to be the one who doesn't have to be carrying the load.  

With any luck, I'll be done "pulling the wagon" in less than three years!! 

Are They Miracles??

It's November and that leads me to think about things ... about how I have this great house that I worked my a$$ off to buy.  I signed the papers in December 2009 and realized today that this is where I've lived for the longest stretch of time in my life ... not counting my growing up years.  And that made me smile!  

I thought back to the time when I was trying to find a house to buy.  It was not an easy thing for me because I didn't know what I wanted to buy, or where.  I perused a lot of listings and would get easily discouraged because things were too over priced, or too large, and finally just kind of gave up, taking a break from the pressures.  And then in the middle of one night, a word came to me:  Impala.  And I remember thinking about that word for a few days, and just assumed that it was God's way of telling me about the car I needed to buy (at the time I was driving an Olds with 160,000 miles).  My realtor called me and said he has a listing to show me.  It was a cute house, on the small side and close to the bus lines, which were my two must-haves.  But something didn't feel quite right.  So the realtor suggested another house around the corner from this one, a foreclosure.  It was empty, and a little bit ugly because of the weird paint color on the inside.  But I liked it.  Making a decision to spend $100k was .... well, I usually tend to sleep on large purchases.  I told my realtor I'd call him and let him know.   I think I waited like 15 mins then called him back, said "make an offer"!!

Here is it, 12 years later and I'm still convinced that this house was meant for me.  So does that fall under the category of miracles?  In my mind, it does.  Because while we tend to think that a miracle is something usually related to health, as in being unexplainably cured of cancer, but maybe a miracle is something that happens and it's our perspective that makes it feel like it's a miracle.  Because in the "real world", how can an low-paid retail worker who's single afford a down payment on a house?  how can she qualify for a mortgage on her salary?  To me, it was a miracle.  Everything fell into place as if it was meant to be.  I saw the house on Oct 30, and signed the papers on December 9th.  

It was a wonderful miracle for me. :) 

Answered Prayers

Today, I was thinking about answered prayers.  Growing up, I often heard "be careful what you pray for, you might get it!"   There are two different kinds of prayers, or maybe I mean there are two different ways to pray for the same thing.  Sometimes we find ourselves praying that we find our soul mate.  But what happens if we pray for the grace to become the woman our soul mate would be attracted to?   Both could have the same outcome, but coming at it from different directions.  Sometimes we find ourselves praying for more money.  But maybe we should be praying for a change to our relationship with money?   Or we might pray for a change in our situation, when what we should be praying for is peace of mind, no matter which outcome occurs.

I watched a 7th Heaven episode where a kid with a troubled background wrote a letter to "the man who works for God" and asked him to pray for all the kids who have troubled backgrounds and signed it "anonymous".  When the main character couldn't let it go, he found the kid.  And this kid explained that if the congregation was praying not just for himself, but for all kids in the world who's lives were troubled or touched by violence, it might be enough to change the world. 

We've all had what we consider "unanswered prayers", and if you really think about it, maybe it was for the best.  Some of my prayers have gone unanswered, and after giving it time, I've come to realize that the answer was "no" to allow me more time, space, wisdom, and experience to prepare for a different time when the answer is going to be "YES"!!

Juggling Balls

 My life has been a series of many different times juggling balls.  I had two kids of my own, I also had several different step kids under my charge throughout the years.  Between being a mother and a wife, there's housekeeper, gardener, laundress, taxi driver  ... you know how it goes when you have a house full of kids!  I've also been a full time worker at a couple different jobs at the same time.  But as we get older, so do our parents  And lately, I've been having to juggle that particular ball as well. 

My mom is 83 and I used to say she was 83 years young.  But something happened over the summer.  I'm personally convinced it had to do with our trip to Montana for a destination wedding for my brother.  Mom started having anxiety about the trip from the get-go, but she wanted to go anyways.  The airlines changed our flights at the last minute:  rather than a direct flight from San Jose to Missoula, we were rerouted through Los Angeles.  Mom hates flying, and this added so much more to her anxiety.  We stayed at a Bed and Breakfast for 4 days and she began to have sleepless nights.  I thought it was just this trip.  But it continued once she got home.  She went to the doc several times, and tried many different prescriptions to alleviate some of her symptoms.  But they got worse. Or she got worse.  I scheduled a trip there for Oct 12, but flew in a week early because she wasn't doing well at all, calling me at all hours because she couldn't sleep.  She'd go for 48 or 72 hours with no sleep, which led to panic attacks, hyperventilating, moaning, pacing .... you get the idea. It was a real mess.  I was there for 5 days, flew home to work 3 days, then flew back.  The plan was to stay for another 5 days.  But she was in a tizzy two days before I was going to leave, and couldn't stop crying, so I extended my stay for another week.  We tried more docs, more meds, different routines  Walking. No walking.  Resting.  Melatonin.  Tylenol.  

I finally told my brother that he had to come down, she can't be left alone, and I had to get back to work.  Somehow he convinced her to go to his house in Reno.  She still isn't much better, but from long distance now, I'm having to handle the meds, making doctor telephone appointments, and being the go-to person when something goes wrong.  ie they ordered a refill of one of her meds and supposedly had it shipped to Reno.  She agonized for days over the arrival of the meds, and they never arrived.  Many sleepless nights, many crying jags on the phone with me because she acts like a "visitor" at my brother's house and hides her symptoms.  A doctor told my brother to email a different doc (geriatric psychiatrist) to get new meds.  I'm not sure what was said or what went wrong, but the doc said he would call ...... IN 5 DAYS.  Um, hello, she isn't sleeping and waiting another 5 days for meds??? oh no.  So *I* sent another email and nearly begged him to call her on Friday.  He did, they ordered meds, they were shipped FedEx and arrived today.  With any luck, she will sleep tonight! 

It's not easy being the one who has to juggle balls.  My brother never wanted her with him and expected her to choose to come to my home.  But she has her own very weird ideas about life right now, and "he has a bigger house".  Which isn't big enough when my sister in law works from home and needs everyone to be quiet while she works.  Mom's gotten a little hard of hearing and keeps the TV turned up quite loud.  

If you're the one who's juggling balls for the family, make sure someone else knows how to juggle too!  That's the best advice I have.  Not all of us can juggle at the same speed, but having someone take over the juggling once in a while is important.  Me, I'm getting a bit tired.  My brother doesn't work, hasn't worked in years.  Me, I've been working since I was 16.  And I'm wanting to retire. As soon as I can afford it.

Sports Junkie

I know sports are important for a lot of people, they bring lots of enjoyment.  I can enjoy a few good games, but I tire of them quickly.  

I am at my mom's, taking care of her while we try to figure out what is wrong.  She has terrible anxiety, much more pronounced at night and can't sleep for several nights in a row before exhaustion takes over.  We'll figure it out.  Soon, I hope!

But in the meantime, I am being saturated with sports games:  baseball- Go Atlanta Braves, and Go Houston Astros.  Then there's basketball - Go Golden State Warriors.  Most of the time I'm on my phone with the game in the background.  

In between sports, she is a game show junkie.   By the end of a day, I'm more than ready for bed!  

They say that sports fans are more gregarious than their peers and that following a sport keeps the brain nimble by encouraging people's minds to process quickly moving information that draws on a system of complex rules.  If thats a true fact, she will probably live another 20+ years!!

I, on the other hand, won't. Because there are too many ads, more junk than the actual sport. But if watching a few sports games makes my mom happy, I guess I can endure just a few more!!

Photo Shoot

 Today on The Talk, they talked to a woman who had used a coupon with a photographer for some risqué boudoir photos for her boyfriend.  But the debate was more about self esteem.  

How many women have negative body issues? And can the stigma they have be shifted toward the positive side if they could see themselves in a different light? Or through a photographer's lens?  I think so.

In fact, I know so.  There isn't a time that I recall when I didn't feel embarrassed, shy, disgusted even, about the shape of my body.  And that feeling grows as a body gets older.

But I started doing self portraits once a week to help how I viewed my own body.  It also helped my creative skills and my photography skills.  I experimented with lighting, themes, indoor,  outdoor,  holiday ideas even.  I did this for about 10 years.  My personal faves were the black and white ones, but I've always been a fan of them, even in street scenes. 

If the opportunity comes up, or if you feel like you could branch out with your photography skills, you should give it a try.  It will change how you think about your body, and help to appreciate what you have, who you are.  Because we are all special!

Family Dynamics

 How we grow up has a huge impact on how our adult lives shape up.  There's a lot of talk on the internet about dysfunctional families, and how it impacts the children in a dysfunctional household.  The dysfunctions don't always mean physical abuse.  Sometimes it's the subtle little things that create some huge barriers in our adult life.   And there's a trickle down effect as well if our parents came from some kind of dysfunction as well.   My family is no different

I'm sure that what has shaped my adult years is a direct result of my growing up years.  My mother had a troubled childhood, her mother died when she was still a toddler.  She also had issues getting along with her stepmother, or maybe it was the other way around, and her stepmother had trouble dealing with stepchildren.  Add to it being raised on a farm where things were never easy, and I guess I can see where there might be issues.  Some of them weren't ones that I expected. 

As my mother ages, things become more complicated between us.  Her husband died 6 years ago, her daughter died a year ago.  I'm the daughter who moved away, taking children out of state.  We weren't close when I was growing up, and I think that created another kind of wedge between us, but I'm certain my mother wouldn't admit to it.  

As I ponder our current dynamic, it makes me wonder about the growing up years.  I always felt closer to my dad, but was that because of my own preference?  or because I sensed from an early age that my sister was my mother's favorite??  And now that my mom needs help with a few things, she asks, but she also discounts my advice.  For example, she asked me the other day if taking Melatonin to help her sleep would interfere with the new drug prescribed by her doctor.  I checked the internet, looked up both meds and found no reasons, so told her to go ahead and take it.  She didn't believe me and called a nurse hotline to ask.  This brought home what I already knew:  if my sister had given her that advice, she would have taken her word.  But mine isn't good enough.  That's a very old dynamic between her and I, and that won't be changing.  So what can I do?

One of the things I concluded with all this thinking I've been doing is that I have to live my own life, and whatever she says or does, I can't take personally.  While I can become very frustrated or agitated over the situation, I won't be the cause of creating a rift.  Or another rift.  She hasn't spoken to her brother in about 12 years.  She didn't speak often to her own dad in the last 10 years of his life either.  So while I'm not educated in family dynamics, I'm sure the current situation is a direct relation to her growing up years.  

Whatever stage your life is in, make sure you are doing your best.  What we do, what choices we make, how we act, is in direct relation to our future - and the future of our children.

Old Dog, New Tricks

 They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks.  And maybe that's based on a little bit of truth.  But I can also say that's not the whole story.  I think old dogs CAN learn new tricks, but they don't learn them on their own very well.   And yes, I'm talking about me.  And a little bit about my mom! 

First for me.  I got my first flat screen "smart" tv in 2016.  I was a late bloomer in this category because I didn't watch much tv in the first place.  And the tv I had, one of those really big old clunkers, played my DVDs just fine! so why change??  But I did.   Little did I know that in six years, tvs would change by leaps and bounds.  It's downright overwhelming at times.  And yes, I used to depend on my son to help me out with all this tech stuff that was new!   But back to the story ....

About 10 days ago, both my tvs have stopped playing HULU.  I had no idea that the software would change and between this company and that company, updates weren't going to happen any more and poof, no more HULU.  During my off working hours, I spent every minute researching "tricks" if you will, to get HULU back to working, including resetting the tvs back to factory defaults, etc.  It didn't work, and I finally stumbled upon the Vizio website that told me they weren't going to be upgradinng my version of TV any longer.   We have truly come to a throwaway world.  The last TV I owned, I had it for nearly 15 years.  UGH.

So. Off to the store I went to get a streaming DVD player.  Got it home and read the box:  does not support HULU.  Back to the store to return it.  And now I seem to be faced with the truth that I have to buy a new TV.  UGH.   Thank goodness they're not $1000 any more!   I read somewhere that I could hook up a ROKU.  I tried that once in the past, and didn't like it at all and took it off my tv.   I haven't found anything else streaming that plays HULU.  So I plugged in my old Wii console.  Hulu is on that, but .... I can't get it to connect.   instead, I turned on the Wii, put new batteries in the Fit Board, and am entertaining myself for the time being.  But the *joy* of Wii Fit won't last long - - - I'll need to decide on a new TV soon.   Yippee.