Insta-Reels

I've been watching Instagram reels lately, no idea why I'm so hooked on them.  Maybe it's because what I consider to be the really good ones has to do with the music being what some consider oldies.  For me, it seems like yesterday.  lol  

But then there are other reels that ... well, I'm not sure how the Instagram/Meta stuff decides which ones to show you, perhaps based on your 'likes', but sometimes it seems more random.  But I've noticed the ones done by men who tell women what the signs might be if "he's not that into you".  Or how to judge if he's a good man or not.  And that got me thinking about relationships in general, and my own marriages in specific.  

Yes, I've been married three times.  Not something I'm proud of in any way.  But the one thing that never happened for me was cheating when the marriage wasn't working out.  Despite there being problems, I know that you can't solve anything by replacing one with another.  Yes, during my single phases, I dated a few men who turned out to be married.  Sadly, they weren't up front about it, so I knew that they wouldn't make a good partner in a relationship.   When I found out my third husband was having an affair, and we went to counseling, even the counselor told him he needed to commit to making the marriage work and breaking it off with the GF.  He refused, so we knew that wasn't going to fix things.  But even within that parameter of pain I was experiencing, finding another man to fill some kind of void wasn't the answer for me.  

It's taken me a lot of years and hard work of the self help kind to be at a place where I like me, I like being with me, and I don't *need* a man to make me feel complete.  Knowing all these things puts me in a place where finding a man would mean finding the *right* man.  It hasn't happened, but that's OK too.  Some days I actually think that having to "take care of" another person isn't on my to-do list.  If a good man, who wanted to act like a partner, came along, then fine.  But if not, no thanks.  I've had my share of needy men, thank you very much.  

I still haven't shaken the Instagram reels habit, but I know that I need to.  It's funny how what you listen to, what you allow into your mind, shapes what you think or how you feel. And I just need to feel the real me, and ignore the rest of the noise!