Counting My Blessings

You can take the gal out of the church, but you can't take the church out of the gal.  I was raised going to church. Every Sunday; we never missed, we didn't skip church to watch football, or socialize, or even take a Sunday to be lazy.  

My first husband was not churched. I didn't think it important at the time, but it turns out, that mattered.

I continued church every Sunday with my own kids, although we switched from the Lutheran services I had as a kid, and went to a Pentecostal church. My second husband attended this church. I thought it would be better .... but he cheated, marriage didn't work.  As a result, I was mad.  And my anger led me to being mad at God because He allowed this to happen.  

I ran from church, hooked up with someone else, still didn't work.  It's taken me a long to come around full circle, to realize my anger shouldn't have been directed toward God.  Whatever my ex's reasons for cheating were partially due to me, we all play a part, it takes two, etc.  And maybe there was a reason in his own life path that had nothing to do with me.  For whatever reason, I finally put it all in the past.  

It's taken me some time to renew the church feelings inside me; they're still there, never went away, they were just ... idle.  Now that I've turned back to Christian music, listening to sermons when I can, I feel better now than in the past.  It helps to focus on the little things, counting my blessings.  I'll still have moments where I dwell or regret the past, but I'm so thankful I'm not in that place any more.

"One, two, three, up to infinity. I'd run out of numbers before I could thank You for everything.  The more that I look in the details, the more of Your goodness I find.  I will keep counting my blessings, knowing I can't count that high."   (Seph Schlueter song -- listen if you can!)