Fears

Everyone has fears, even me.  Typical ones, like falling. For me, its standing on a bridge and jumping into the water.  I have always loved water, jumping in, so I avoid bridges to avoid the sensation/desire. Not too bad, in the bigger picture.

I visited Mom today, and her nurses are wanting her to pick up the pace, learn to get herself around in her wheelchair.  She has resisted so far, preferring to sit and let someone push her while she waves to folks.

Me, if I was wheelchair bound, the first thing I would take charge of is my mobility. Then I could go to meals or sit outside on my time.

Mom has always wanted to be in control, but in control of people.  Even today, 15 minutes after telling me she's supposed to be more independent, she began issuing orders. Put this here, get that, move my chair. Happens most days.

So I stood out of the way and let her wheel herself toward the dining hall.  It took a bit of time, but after we finally got there, she admitted her fear: finding her way back to her room.  I assured her (yet again) that the hallways make a complete circle, she can't get lost.  She's been making the same trek to the dining hall for more than 3 weeks.  And was still afraid she'd get lost. 

From wherever your fear comes from, talking about it, admitting it, and letting someone else help can solve a lot of problems. Next visit, I'm letting Mom give directions. Maybe it will help ease this one fear.