Holiday Choices

I was thinking, or maybe it was more like comparing, my life to my mother's life. Mostly when it comes to holidays. 

My parents left their families behind in MN and moved to Calif in 1963. The only Christmas holiday they spent there was in 1970. Otherwise, all our holidays were spent at home. Even when we shared holidays with family or friends in Cali, it was always at our house.

Am I trying to make a point? Yes. Mom didn't care for her parents or Dad's parents as they aged. They didn't spend holidays choosing between one house or the other, one family over another.

I guess my point has more to do with choices being "forced" on me.  I can choose being with my mom in assisted living with no other relatives visiting her, or driving to see my daughter, granddaughter and great granddaughter. I know which I would prefer. 

But can I do that and not feel guilty?? Even if I can get past my own guilt, will she make a point to make me feel guilty the next day??

It just doesn't seem fair. I may have to make a point of saying "I'm here with you this year, but I won't be here next year."  I wonder if that would fly??