All the prep that goes into making it a Merry Christmas has become too much for me. We get busy buying, trying to find gifts for all the someones in our lives. What makes some things go from excited to do it, to I'll do it but its lost the joy, to I'll do it but I can't wait til its over?
We've become inundated with guilt to buy more, buy the perfect gift, make a perfect meal.
With everything going on, as the "oldest", I get the feeling that relatives might be expecting me to carry on some of the traditions. I used to be that person. But should I do that if it doesn't give me pleasure any more??
Over the years spent living away from my mother, things changed. Or maybe I just found my own voice, some of it through necessity.
Holidays can look like anything you want them to be. In fact, they don't always have to be on the holiday themselves. ie Don't wait until Valentine's day to tell someone you love them. Holiday meals don't have to be a big production. And for all of you struggling with time constraints to have one meal with his family then another meal with her family, why not spread it out? Declare the 25th of January to be one of those holidays?
Holidays should bring you joy. If the traditional way doesn't fit your needs, switch it up to something that does. Sometimes, there is joy in doing things "like you used to" but there's nothing wrong with things being different.
And I can tell this is a struggle for me, as well, because I've had to rewrite this several times. Ok. Don't let someone else's version of holidays guilt you into doing something you don't want to do.
On that note, even though Mom prefers traditions in a big way, this year, she isn't having Swedish Meatballs for a meal. I am making cheese tortellini with white sauce along with ham and peas. We are going to watch movies amd look at old photos I dug up and stuck in an album. It will be a quiet kind of day, because that works best for her now.
And I won't feel guilty about it.
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