Turn, Turn, Turn

It was one of those long, rough days.  I couldn't find my get up and go -- probably from not enough sleep last night.  I guess that's how some things go, I suppose.

Maybe I just notice it more now that I'm older -- hard to believe this will be my "double nickel" year.  Yikes!

So many things lately:  February marked the six year anniversary of the move to Arizona.  How time has flown!!   Loading everything own into one small truck and hauling all that cross country to start a new life here in a new state.  It was one of those things meant to be -- no problems moving, driving across the country, no major issues once we got here.  I worried how I would tolerate the heat:  i like it just over 100!   (yeah, I know, call me crazy! -- everyone else does. haha)

February was my mom's birthday - she turned *does the math*  yep, 75 this year.  A milestone for sure!!   But after 60, does anyone really count any more??   Dad will turn 76 in April.  And he's the reason I didn't sleep much past 2am.  His stage IV cancer has been responding well to chemo treatments, and he just had a three week break before starting up again.  Its difficult to read between the lines when the doctors tell you that a year of chemo is just about all a body can take ---- the pink elephant in the room with that statement is this:  when they stop the chemo treatments, the tumors of course will grow and ... do what cancer does.  *sigh*  But thankfully with meds and stuff, we have had an extra year with him in our lives.  His doctor told him to plan a vacation in May.  They enjoy staying home though.  Wonder what they'll do.

In the meantime, I was awake a lot of hours during the night, thinking about Dad being gone, about how as we get older, we become more familiar with people dying.  And the worst thought: my own demise.  Yes. it will happen, God willing not for another 30+ years.  but the thought is still there from time to time.

We all will face moments where our mortality comes into question. 
Its how we handle those moments that are the measure of who we are.

I'll always remember sitting at a church service outdoor. 
And the song playing:  The Byrds' Turn, Turn, Turn.

To everything - turn, turn, turn 

There is a season - turn, turn, turn 

And a time to every purpose under heaven.

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together

We all will have our turn, turn, turn.

And life goes on.