One of the discussions I've had again and again with Mom has to do with "finding someone". She always asks "don't you want to have someone to share your life?"
Um. Hell no.
I've thought about this many times in the past years. I've been married and divorced three times. None of them lasted, and while it would be easy to blame the men, thats probably not the case. I've always said it takes two to make it work, or be at fault. Which is why I won't put anyone else through what I've been through.
But I've thought more recently about what my faults would have been to make those marriages not work. And my final conclusion is that my model of how a wife acts was my mother. And the only way that behavior would work is if I had found a man like dad. Not gonna happen! I know having someone was best for her, she doesn't do "alone" very well.
A recent revelation because of my daily interaction with mom. Moving away from mom helped me feel like I was a much better mom to my own kids. But I didn't escape the behaviors I learned about marriage.
And just maybe I'm too old now to teach this dog a new trick.
Besides, I like being in control. Alone, not lonely!
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