Walking on eggshells is a phrase that has been tossed around a lot. You hear it from folks who grew up with violence in the home, being fearful of doing something wrong.
While there was never violence at home growing up, there was always a feeling of not doing something right. Mom preferred perfection over other things. Hmm. Perfection? Or is decorum a better word? Yes, it is: behavior in keeping with good taste and propriety.
I can remember us kids at dinner, and something would set everyone off into a spree of giggles. And mom would be the one to scold us, ask us to behave, then threaten us with going to our rooms. We were kids!! And kids laugh. Parents didn't.
A prime example of our version of walking on eggshells. We didn't learn from them how to enjoy life, to savor moments of joy. Decorum was more important.
Caring for her when she is in the throes of an anxiety attack and saying ugly things, I am fearful of saying the wrong thing, sometimes preferring to say nothing at all. But I have learned that I need to remember my own value and not internalize her criticisms. Which isn't easy, as parents were always the authority!
Life is hard walking on eggshells!!
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