I can't sleep. Its 4am, I've been awake for an hour, and nothing is working to help me fall back asleep. I haven't been blogging lately because sometimes writing it all down means facing the reality of how things really are. And I'm not sure I want to do that. My dad has stage iv metastatic cancer. It's easy to say its the circle of life, but its harder to imagine dad not being around any longer. While I'm trying to cope with this, I also want to make sure that Mom's gonna be ok, and help her figure out how to deal with "life after dad". *sigh* no easy answers. I want to go home to help, to be there, but airline tickets are costly, and driving takes too long.
At the same time, my son sure is in a pickle. The whole saga of getting someone pregnant irresponsibly is a mess that will become messier once the babe is here. I know he thought this was love, the real thing, and wanted to do what's right, but he got taken for a ride. He's paying for her cell phone and her internet, and dammit, I sure have been pissed about that, because he has little to no income and he blew it on that.
On top of that, my car's been acting up off and on with dash lights saying "service traction control" coming on. I called my mechanic and he said sorry, you need to take it to a dealer. So I'm having to take Friday off work and sit in the dealership while they check it out. Of course, just like when you have a toothache and you call your dentist and the tooth stops hurting, my car hasn't acted up all week. I'm praying very hard that its just a minor sensor problem.
Speaking of the dentist, my son told me he thinks he has a cavity that's bothering him. He doesn't have dental insurance, so this could be a costly bill as well. And frankly, I don't know where the money's gonna come from.
Sometimes, life sure is hard.
I'll let you know how it all goes.
In the meantime, send prayers, good thoughts, or just cross your fingers for me, ok ?
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