Family First

Haven't been forcing myself to post as often as I should.  There's just so much going on around me right now, that taking time to write it all down just ... seems to much for me to do.  Which is usually the opposite for me.  I enjoy writing things down and getting it out in the open, and out of my system!

But it's just been a little bit much to handle.

And frankly, it's not the actual "events" that is the bummer.  It's the things going on in what I call "behind the scenes" that make me feel a bit ill.

When someone dies, there's a shift in every family dynamic.  Each person feels the effects of losing a person in different ways, depending on who that person was to them in life.  But instead of it pulling people together, making them feel closer to those in the family who are still here ... sometimes it makes people do funny, weird, crazy, odd things.  Back in "the old days", when families gathered to eat meals together every week, when families gathered together in sorrow to comfort each other, there seemed to be a different sense of family.   But something is missing in today's society.

My own family is a part of the 'new ways'.  And it makes me really sad. 

When things like this happen, I can't help but wonder about family dynamics.  My brother, sister and I were raised by the same parents, with the same values and were shown the same work ethic.  And yet we're all quite different -- and raised our own kids quite different as well!  How is that possible?  My own thought about it is that as kids we see our parents and we either comply with how they brought us up or we rebel and think we don't want to be like them at all.  I'm most like my parents, and live by what some call old fashioned values.  Family first.  When something happens, you're there for the rest of them.  When my dad was near the end, he made me promise to take care of mom.  He told me, "If there's a question about what should be done, ask yourself 'What would dad want?' " 

That's what I've been doing.
It's not always easy!
But family first.