Sometimes, something comes up that brings back a wave of memories. That happened to me Saturday while I was noodling around on the computer, looking at some music files to transfer to my MP3 player ( yes, i know, I'm Old Skool!!) Back in 1996 (while I'm not positive this was the exact year, its close), I was married but not happily. I considered myself content, but perhaps because I didn't know any better?
And somewhere in there I met JavaJoe from Chicago online. In 1996, the internet was just beginning to be readily available, and I was learning all I could. There were newsgroups and IRC to connect with folks from all over, all of us learning what the internet could do for us! We started chatting and sharing, we had an instant sympatico, with long conversations about nothing and everything at the same time.
He taught me so many things, and introduced me to the singer Joshua Kadison. And the song Beautiful In My Eyes. I love his album "Painted Desert Serenade". He has a unique style of story telling in his music, but Beautiful is my favorite:
"You're my peace of mind in this crazy world.
You're everything I've tried to find
Your love is a pearl
You're my Mona Lisa
You're my rainbow skies
And my only prayer is that you realize
You'll always be beautiful in my eyes."
It was through JavaJoe that I learned what a truly deep love is about. I can remember humming this song to myself, my arms wrapped around a pillow, smiling as I drifted off to sleep. It also made me very aware that my own marriage wasn't everything it could, and should, be.
We never know where true inspiration will come from, or where it will lead us. Here more than 15 yrs later, I rediscovered this music, added it my iPod and have listened to it many times today. And it makes me understand why I am still single to this day. Finding a man who can resonate that feeling toward a woman is rare. And I'm not willing to settle for less again. Three times was enough!
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