Like a runner in a race, when the bell sounds the start of the race, the runner is "on", like hitting a light switch, his body engages in the task at hand: to run.
But there comes a time after the race where the runner gets to shift to "off", to give his body a rest.
Sometimes, life is like that. We are in the "on" position, constantly trying to do more and more. That's how I feel, constantly "on". I am trying to handle getting mom's house packed and ready to sell. (Which will be a bit of a fight as my brother wants to rent it out.) I am also dealing with my own house issues, without heat for a while, along with the other normal issues, spraying weeds, blowing the backyard, a cupboard door hinge broke and hangs there like a drunken sailor. All these little things that need to be handled keeps me "on".
Then there's being "on" for mom. She gets weird ideas. Yesterday, I had to bring her some artificial flowers because its "hat day" today and she wanted to stick some flowers on a hat. Other times, she is a little down and asks "when am I going home" and I need to be reassuring and then nicely distract her. Another form of "on".
When does "off" happen???
I try to do things for myself, a solitary walk in the mornings, or some of my projects, like painting ATC cards, or working on photo albums. But it always feels like I'm squeezing my own stuff into little pockets of time. I would like a large chunk of time where I don't have to be "on". That's what vacation time was for when you had a job. But a job involving family has no vacation.
I'm looking forward to some "off" time!
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