No Sleep Blues

I didn't sleep much last night.  Usually that happens when there is something up with mom, many texts filled with how much pain she is in. 

I think the cause of this is from a suggestion my sister-in-law made. She wants to take mom to a restaurant for her birthday. With me driving mom in my car.  I tried to explain why that wouldn't be a good idea.

Mom has already asked a couple times if I would take her out. And I said no. She isn't very mobile, getting out of her wheelchair and into the car ..... ugh.  Which also means I would be the one lugging the wheelchair in and out of my trunk.  And once my SIL leaves, *I* am the one who would be stuck with whatever an outing does to mom. 

People with anxieties do not do well when they don't stay within their routine.  When the routine is broken, so is the steady calm of knowing what comes next.  Mom doesn't handle it well, and the burden falls on me because I live here, and they don't.

I feel it in my gut that mom would continue to pester me to take her on "outings". 

Im getting tired of handling all this alone.