Stress and Mom

This morning I saw my doctor, he is monitoring my stress ... because yes, I have been stressed. BP is elevated (again), he's doing some bloodwork, and I am supposed to take a walk after meals, most days doable, I just need to make it a habit.

Then on to Mom's to see her nurse to discuss her med schedule. She increased her Oxy to 3x day.  And was able to reiterate that yes, she would probably have the pain in her leg for the rest of her days.  My personal opinion is that it wouldn't be as painful if she could learn to "let go and let God".  She always wants to be in control. Of everything. 

For example, the wound nurse texted yesterday that he would be there between 2 and 3.  At 2:15 she says "guess the nurse isn't coming."  She doesn't handle ambiguity very well. When I was there, the wound check nurse arrived at 3:15 ( he had texted to say he was running 15mins late) to check her as well.  She has what I guess is a bed sore on the bottom of her heel.   Ugly, black, and slow to heal.  

There's always something to stress about. Or maybe its that I feel obligated to lessen mom's self-induced stress by having to remind her how things go.  

Its the same with pills. She wants them at 6am. Exactly. And the staff gets them to her as time allows.  Sometimes its shortly after 6, sometimes its closer to 7.  And when they're "late" as she calls it, that begins the cycle of pain for the day because she gets herself worked up and whatever biology happens in her body, it stays that way all day and she doesn't get ahead of the pain or the anxiety. Hence the increase of Oxy. Ugly cycle for her, but some parts of it are self induced.  Family doesn't see it because she "showtimes" when they are around.  She forces herself to appear well, upbeat, but it takes a toll. But later, when it's just her and I, kablam! I get to hear it all, get the brunt of it all.  

In all fairness, I get it, and understand, but its not easy to tolerate, to always be the upbeat person.  Its been a rough week for me.  Im going to try to switch up my vitamins,  maybe that will help!