A lot of my time lately is spent in what some might call "relaxing". I call it "gearing up". I seem to have .... I was going to give myself an ugly name, but just leave it at that I'm different. I need to get myself mentally prepared for whatever BS comes down the line when I have things to do with my mother.
Why, as an adult, do I have the mentality of being the daughter, rather than an adult, when I deal with her?
Here's how I know that something isn't going to go as planned. Today is her 88th birthday. And her grandsons are here in town as a surprise. That means a total of 10 adults, and the four men are all over 6'4". Thats a lot of bodies to cram into her little apartment where she has a total of 3 chairs. And yet she wants to have all of them in her apt. My brother and I told her no way would we all fit. And she got this look on her face .... the one I recognize as her stubborn up-to-something face. I asked her whats with the face? She said "nothing". But I know its something.
We are having everyone over in part of the dining room at her facility. Dinner for everyone, a place we can all sit and visit comfortably. So why would she insist that they come to her apt?? Who knows.
In the Bible we read in I Peter and Luke that we are to gird our loins, meaning prepare for battle. I give it the same thought as "batten down the hatches". You're preparing for some kind of storm.
That's how I view this event, some kind of storm. And I'm hoping I'm wrong. I will wear my turquoise jewelry, my black tourmaline necklace, and maybe add some earrings just for a little bit of protection from negative energy.
The family doesn't know this, but even if the event goes well, mom will pick it apart in private to me on the next visit. Because thats how she is.
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