The Happy Middle Road

Have you ever wondered what you really want?  People ask from time to time, its easy to give pat answers: to be happy, to be content, to be healthy.  But in order to have those things in our lives, what is it that needs to happen??

Happy isn't a thing. Happy is what comes after something happens.  Healthy happens when you eat right, exercise. In other words, does it all come down to doing things in order to have what it seems we want?

I usually know myself and my paths, and things happen because I work toward them. But I'm at a point in my life where I feel all turned around, or maybe more like I'm spinning in circles rather than traveling a path.  Where is a happy middle road?

I know it comes down to one thing: Mom. Or rather, my inability to instill boundaries where she is concerned. 

I'm learning. Trying to learn. I've been trying to find a way to manage my life that works. I set up Tasks in Task Manager.  But I don't seem to accomplish them in the timely manner I was hoping for.  Mom interruptions. 

So should I make more tasks? Schedule every little detail?  Laundry. Shower. Walk. Get mail. Vacuum. Cook. I have some of these already tasked, but some days aren't possible to do them. For example, it becomes a matter of choice: start the laundry? Or take care of mom's request/demand?  If I choose laundry, mom becomes a texting queen and until her request is met, it doesn't stop. 

I tried ignoring her texts but then she phones, crying. I was getting groceries when she did this on Sunday. I ignored her texts, she called, crying, asking why I didn't answer her. I told her I was getting groceries, and she sobbed again and hung up on me. 

She asked for meds yesterday, so I hopped in the car to drive over. It was already getting dark, infringing on my bedtime. But her first words are "why cant you answer my texts?" "I dont text and drive, I drove straight over. See you tomorrow." And I left. 

Where in all of this is a happy middle road??